In Search of the Sun
by Critiquelle
Summary: Renesmee knows what it is to be a vampire. Now she wants to understand her human side. How will her family cope with this revelation? And will Jacob, her best friend since birth, be able to grant her the freedom to discover her humanity? R/J
1. Being Human

Author's Note: This is my first-ever Twilight fanfiction, as well as the first story I've posted under this penname. It will most likely be pretty long. It mainly concerns the relationship between Renesmee and Jacob, as well as examining Renesmee's feelings about being the only living person in a coven of vampires. I loved Jacob when I read the books, and I thought that Renesmee would have an interesting journey growing up with him and the Cullens.

A note about the timeline: I know the canon states that Renesmee will be fully grown by age seven, but since that hypothesis was based on only one other person who happened to grow up in such a fashion, I thought it was safe to mess around with that timeline a bit. Call me closed-minded, but I still get squeamish over the idea of Jacob canoodling with a seven-year-old, even if that seven-year-old looks much older. In this story, Renesmee has been alive for seventeen and a half normal human years. I personally think it adds nicely to the tension =)

I am anxious to know your thoughts about this story. Please let me know what you think!

-Crit.

**Chapter 1: Being Human**

It was silent in the car. Neither the driver nor any of the three passengers were making even the slightest sound. In the front seat, a pale, dark-haired woman was sitting rigidly beside the driver, who was staring stonily at the road ahead. He didn't move, not even to breath, except to turn the wheel along with the bends in the road. In the back seat rode an impossibly large Native American man, the top of his dark head pressed uncomfortably to the roof of the small car. He looked about ready to crawl out of his skin. Beside him was a comparatively small teenage girl, who wore a very similar expression. The car continued to speed along at a breakneck pace.

The man in the back seat turned to his teenaged companion and took in her sullen expression. He looked at her with an undeniable fondness, and as she raised her eyes to meet his, he quirked a tiny sympathetic smile in her direction. Her only response was to widen her eyes and grimace, a look that clearly read _get me out of this car._ A low, rumbling sound broke the silence in the car, and then the large man burst out laughing.

Twin glares, one direct and one in the rearview mirror, were leveled at the back seat. "Jacob Black," the woman in the passenger seat hissed through closed teeth, "_What_ is so funny?"

Jacob was still chuckling. "I'm sorry, Bels, it's just… have you seen the look on your daughter's face?"

The fair skinned woman just raised an eyebrow and nodded her head in the direction of the teenager. When Jacob turned to her, he saw that she was now wearing an almost identical scowl.

"Wow," he said with considerably less amusement, "Like mother, like daughter."

"And just what is wrong with my face?" The young girl had her arms crossed, and her chin was jutted out in Jacob's direction. The effect was rather childish, and Jacob had to fight off another bout of laugher.

"Absolutely nothing is wrong with your face, Ness, except for the fact that you're twisting it all up like that. It's creepy… you look like you're about to lunge at my jugular."

"Maybe I am." A small smirk was emerging on her sullen face.

"Maybe you oughta bring it, small fry." He leaned towards her and, with a wide grin, lifted his chin to one side, exposing his bare neck.

There was a low hiss from the front seat, and then a warning voice said, "Jacob, Renesmee. Enough." In the driver's seat, Edward Cullen barely made any physical indication that he was paying attention to the altercation behind him, eyes back on the road. But his warning was firm enough to stop the squabbling pair. Jacob and Renesmee returned to forward-facing positions, Renesmee crossing her arms again and sinking low in her seat.

"We were just having _fun_, dad," She said in a way that clearly indicated whatever enjoyment they were having had just been squashed by him. "Remember fun?"

"No," Edward deadpanned, "I do not."

Another chuckle came from Jacob. "Jake!" hissed Renesmee. "He's not funny." Then, to her father, "You're not, you know."

"I would never dream of suggesting it."

Renesmee huffed indignantly and turned to Jacob. "Traitor," she said menacingly. "You're supposed to be on MY side."

"I am," Jacob replied quickly, patting her arm, which she yanked away peevishly, "It's just… it's so rare that good Ol' No-Fun and I agree on anything. I just had to laugh."

Despite her best efforts, a tiny smirk began to crawl onto Renesmee's lips. "Fine. But don't make a habit of laughing at me, Jacob Black… I know where you live."

"That's very true," Jacob said, fondness creeping into his voice. In the front seat, Bella let out a brief, almost inaudible sigh that no normal human would have been able to hear. Of course, all of the other three passengers in the car heard it perfectly well.

Renesmee equated her mother's sigh to the fact that her only child was leaving home. It was inevitable, and of course her mother had expected that she would eventually have to go off on her own, but Renesmee knew it was still very difficult for her. When Renesmee had stopped growing four years ago, she'd seen the fear on her mother's face, and she'd known then that her parents would not make it easy for her to have a normal life, ever. She understood, but that didn't stop her from feeling smothered. It also didn't stop her from feeling like she was robbing them of their greatest happiness.

It had been Carlisle's suggestion. NYU would not have been her father's choice, but the Cullen patriarch had convinced his son to listen to the things he heard in his daughter's mind and think of her happiness, not his own. When he did, Edward had immediately given into the yearning desire his daughter had to go away, go out into the world, to be _free_, just for a little while. And her mother had followed soon after, when Edward explained it to her in a way the Renesmee had been unable to, without going into her mind herself.

She didn't go into her family's minds very often these days. It was fine when she was a child, but now, at seventeen (almost eighteen) years old, she felt a need for more privacy. It was always precarious, her hold over her gift, and she was never sure if certain things would slip out until she felt them leaving her mind and going into someone else's. Out of principle, she decided not to take that chance unless it was absolutely necessary. And in the past year or so, her parents were absolutely off limits where her gift was concerned. She would only use her power with Carlisle, Esme and Jasper now, and that was simply because they were the only ones with the mental will power to sidestep her father's gift. Like a journal, some things needed to be kept private from one's parents, and Renesmee's parents were respectful of her need for that privacy.

Not that it was easy for them. Renesmee had always been such a unique child, and when she was younger, her gift was the only way her family could understand the complicated changes that, with her, seemed to happen so rapidly. She hadn't grown as quickly as they had all expected, thankfully allowing the Cullen family to stay in one place for a little bit longer than anticipated. When she was two years old (and looked to be about five), they had said their farewells to Forks, moving to another town nearby in Washington. After that her development had slowed enough for her family to explain her rapid growth away with stories of growth spurts for four or five years at a time. This was a shorter amount of time than they were usually able to stay in one place, but not by much, and nobody was left feeling too inconvenienced. Each time they moved, Renesmee publicly gained a couple years: at three, she passed for six, at eight she passed for twelve, and by thirteen people had no trouble buying her as a seventeen-year-old, which was when her growth stopped completely.

Now that she was physically and chronologically an adult, Renesmee felt a little less out of place than she always had. Finally she had caught up with her family; finally she would no longer be the only one constantly changing while everyone around her stayed the same.

Her mind had always been far ahead of her body, and her body far ahead of her age, but there were certain other things that happened on a perfectly normal chronological timeline. She was nine years old when she first entered high school, and while other girls were interested in wearing make-up and going out with boys, Renesmee still had a childlike desire to learn, to gather information and develop her mind, like any curious and intelligent child. By the time she began to take any notice of boys or, for that matter, the way she looked and acted around them, she had graduated high school. In the years since then, which she spent getting her Bachelor degree, she realized that she wasn't particularly interested in them anyhow. She'd dated a few guys in her last couple years of college, but none of them were as charming as her father, as wise as Carlisle, as empathetic as Jasper, as entertaining as Emmett or as dependable and open-hearted as Jacob. How could any human man possibly measure up to the people who raised her? Renesmee felt no passion for any of them, not like one would expect from a teenaged girl. That, coupled with the fact that she flat-out refused to do anything beyond kissing, was enough to destroy her few fledgling relationships before they really had a chance to take off. Bella and Edward were never quite as disappointed as their daughter was when these flings ended.

NYU was chosen for the freedom it represented. New York City was far away, and glamorous, and Renesmee had fallen in love with it when she'd gone there on a High School trip. When she imagined strolling through the distinguished campus on a bright and sunny fall afternoon her heart gave a little flutter, and she felt a tiny coil of desire twist itself inside of her stomach. In the summer after finishing her degree, the coil had barely stopped twisting itself, and she suffered it in silence until one day, unable to bear it anymore, she exploded in a fit of tears to Jasper.

"_I just want a chance, Jasper," Renesmee said, hot, angry tears splashing onto her cheeks. "I just want to GO."_

_Jasper stared at her, shocked. "Renesmee," he said with a strange sort of awe, "Hold on a moment…"_

"_No!" Renesmee made a swiping motion with her hands as she felt a wave of calm start to creep over her. "Don't do that! I need you to understand… I need SOMEONE to understand how I feel."_

_Jasper nodded slowly, and then hissed as if in pain as he was assailed by a wave of desperation and hopelessness. "Renesmee," he whispered, "Do you hate it here, with us, that much?"_

_Renesmee was suddenly and thoroughly cowed. "No!" She said quickly, mustering up every ounce of affection that she possibly could for her uncle. His eyelids fluttered with the intensity of it. "You know that isn't how I feel at all. I just… I've been living as a vampire my whole life, Jasper. But I'm not a vampire. I'm half human. Half of me is missing, and I just want to KNOW…"_

"_You want to know what it means to be human," Jasper finished. "And you can't do that here." It wasn't a question. He was getting up from his seat as he said it. Renesmee watched him with skeptical eyes as he shook off the fog of her feelings and turned in the direction of Carlisle's study. "Carlisle!" he yelled, even though his adoptive father's study was in the garret room on the third floor, two whole stories away from where they were sitting. Moments later, far too quickly, the head of the Cullen family appeared in front of his son, looking frazzled and worried by Jasper's urgent summons. _

"_Renesmee and I need your help with Edward."_

After that point, it hadn't been so hard. Her father had taken some convincing, but between Herself, Jasper and Carlisle, they'd managed to get him to approve of that idea, and he in turn convinced her mother to agree. Of course, there were terms. She _was_ only seventeen years old, and a sheltered seventeen, at that. Her parents were highly unlikely to let her go joyriding in New York City on her grandfather's dime, with no reason or purpose but to "find herself". And she was highly unlikely to ask for or want such a thing. Whatever wild streak Renesmee had was confined solely to hunting and sparring, and did not extend to a need for partying or wild night life. She would always prefer, given the choice, to engage in artistic or educational pursuits, and so the stipulation that she attend New York University in pursuit of a graduate degree was hardly a point of contention. In fact, Renesmee accepted the opportunity with vigor.

Then, of course, there was the question of safety. Her family was always overly concerned about the half-human, half-vampire girl, constantly fretting over her "fragility". Silly, of course, since she was still stronger, faster and more vicious than any normal human. But, as Emmett pointed out, these were New Yorkers she was about to be dealing with, and "They're an entirely different sort of monster." It was decided, after many long debates and fierce arguments from all involved parties, that Jacob would accompany her to New York. He would live with her in the spacious apartment Esme had somehow managed to find, and he would make sure that she remained in one piece.

And now here they were, two vampires, a shapeshifting human and Renesmee, all together in a tiny car driving in from Binghamton, the ninth cloudiest city in the country, and the Cullen family's new home. When Renesmee heard her mother, who didn't even need to _breathe_, utter a tiny sigh, she immediately assumed it was due to the situation at hand: Her mother was literally driving her away from her family for the first time ever.

The next few chapters are complete, so I should be able to continue very soon. Please give me your feedback… I'd love to hear what you think!


	2. As If Any of This is Within My Control

**A/N:** Hi guys! Thanks to everyone who read the last chapter, and especially to those who reviewed! I'm having a lot of fun writing this story… I'm in the middle of some really juicy stuff right now, and I can't wait to see what you guys have to say about it. For now, however… here's chapter two!

A note about the narrative: This story changes perspectives a lot. It's in third person limited, and the chapter alternate between Jacob, Edward and Renesmee's perspectives. I decided not to go with the first person narrative from the books because I find it disorienting reading stories where the narrator changes every 2000 words. I'd rather just look over different peoples' shoulders and keep some consistency in the telling. To those of you who prefer first-person narrative, I apologize… the choice was completely a matter of personal taste where long fics are concerned. I should have some one-shots up soon that stick closer to the first-person style of the books.

In this chapter: a bit of Jacob Introspection! I love Jacob… expect a lot of him in this story.

Thanks for reading! Please review!

**Chapter 2: As If Any of This is Within My Control. I Mean, Really.**

When Jacob heard Bella sigh, he knew exactly what the reason for it was. He was actually shocked that she'd been so restrained with her emotions these last few weeks. She hadn't said anything to him about what was happening, or what she expected from him when he and Nessie were living together. She hadn't threatened or yelled or cried, she'd just… accepted.

That was what worried him the most.

Jacob was certain that Bella was _not_ fine with the idea of him living, unsupervised, with her only daughter. All of the Bloodsuckers had their reservations, even the ones who were on his side, but Jacob knew Bella was probably the most uneasy. He couldn't blame her. He'd had all of his answers lined up before they even broached the subject with Bella, but Edward had blocked him at every turn, getting to him first. He hadn't even had a chance to talk to his best friend about the whole situation before the move (was she even his best friend anymore? Jacob pushed the thought aside). Edward, on the other hand… they had spoken. Exhaustively.

"_I am not happy with this, Jacob."_

_Jacob grimaced. "I know you're not." Edward was pacing back and forth, his eyes never leaving the Shapeshifter's face. He looked like he was stalking his prey. Which was actually entirely possible. _

"_I'm not going to bite you," Edward said disdainfully. "You'd taste like wet dog."_

_Jacob knew this wouldn't be an easy discussion, not with the mind reading leech taking the lead like this. Why couldn't he just explain things to Bella?_

"_Bella doesn't need to be concerned with this right now," Edward said stiffly. "This is between us."_

"_And Renesmee," Jacob said firmly. "She should be here." He figured he might as well say everything he thought from this point onward, seeing as Edward could hear it all anyhow._

"_That's a wise decision. And no, we are not involving Renesmee in this. I want to make this as simple for her as possible… it's obvious I've caused her enough anguish already." Edward's expression was guarded, but Jacob could see a tiny line appearing down the center of his smooth brow, what Bella sometimes called her husband's 'Needless Regret Line'. Jacob actually felt sympathy for the Bloodsucker. _

"_Don't beat yourself up over it… she's not leaving because of you. She's leaving because of her."_

_Edward let out a dry laugh. "Jacob Black, Philosopher." He shook his head. "We're not talking about me. I need to make some things clear to you before you take my daughter to New York City, away from her parents and her family, to be alone. With you."_

_Jacob was suddenly even more uncomfortable, but he recovered quickly enough. "Technically, SHE'S taking ME away. It was her idea."_

"_And I'm sure you raised many objections."_

_Jacob rolled his eyes. "Look, Edward, I'm going to protect Nessie, make sure that she's happy and safe. That's. All."_

"_Jacob, I can hear your thoughts." Edward had stopped moving entirely, and was staring Jacob down. It creeped Jacob out when he did that… it wasn't natural to be so still. "They've changed recently, with regards to Renesmee." Jacob flinched. So that hadn't escaped his notice, then. "No, it has not. It has, in fact, been impossible to ignore."_

"_Edward," Jacob said, putting his hands up as the vampire advanced on him, "We all knew this would happen some day. And I think it says something about my self-control that it hasn't happened before now." _

"_Before now, Renesmee was a child. If there was anything for you TO control, I would have been forced to destroy you the second I became aware of it." Edward said the last part casually, which did not make Jacob any more comfortable with hearing it. "I must admit, I am thankful that these… feelings didn't emerge any sooner. Renesmee is grown now, physically and mentally, and even emotionally. I cannot stop men from being attracted to her, including you. At least in your case I know that you have her best interests at heart."_

"_Always," Jacob said vehemently. Edward threw him a sharp look. _

"_I'm not done yet, Jacob. I cannot stop you from being attracted to my daughter. That does not imply that I am happy with it, or that I have to allow you to act on those impulses." _

_Jacob felt his heart sink. So that was the 'but'. "You're giving me an ultimatum," he guessed._

"_That's right." Edward's eyes were still boring into Jacob. The irises were dark at the center. He needed to hunt soon. "You may accompany Renesmee to New York. You may stay with her in her loft and you may continue your friendship with her as usual. But you will not act on these feelings you've been having. You will not make any advances towards her, and of course you will not do anything that might make her conscious of the bond between the two of you. This rule will stand until she decides to come home, at which point we will discuss informing her. If you break these boundaries, you will be removed from Renesmee's life."_

"_Is that so?" Jacob felt the wolf stirring inside of him, and he pushed the feeling back down as hard as he could. "I wonder how Renesmee would feel about your threat."_

"_She would vow to never forgive me," Edward said casually, "But she would, eventually." Now he smirked at Jacob. "We DO have eternity."_

"_So do I." Jacob saw his chance to reclaim the upper hand. "I'm never going to leave Nessie. Nessie's always going to be with you and Bella. And as long as I'm around you bloodsuckers, I'm never going to change, and I'm never going to die. Forever's a long time, and as long as I have that…" Jacob sighed. "I can wait a little longer."_

The conversation had happened several times over with other members of the Cullen family. Rosalie had spat methaphorical venom at him for about thirty seconds before Jacob silenced her by phasing and planting a giant wolf-lick up the side of her face. She hadn't spoken to him for two weeks over that one. Emmett had insisted on talking to him '_mano a mano'_, phrasing his warning like an abstinence-only sex talk. Even Jasper, who was firmly onboard with Jacob going to New York, had sat him down at one point, although in that instance the vampire seemed more worried about his adoptive brother pulling out the Shapeshifter's throat than anything else.

Alice was the only Cullen family member who didn't seem at all concerned with Jacob's ability to control himself when left alone with Renesmee. "I can't see anything that's going to happen while they're gone," she said with a hint of irritation in her voice, "But there are certain things I _can_ see from their return that make me think it'll be just fine." She patted her miserable brother's shoulder. "I'm sure if I could see him at all, I'd know that he's made up his mind to listen to you. Let it go."

And Jacob had made up his mind. He wasn't going to pursue Renesmee, not now. This period of her life was her own, and she was doing this for herself. She needed to go about it unencumbered, and Jacob didn't want the weight of his imprint to sully the experience she was set on having. What Edward didn't understand was that Jacob physically _could not_ do anything that would be harmful to Renesmee without causing himself great pain. And if he ruined this experience for her, it would be harmful to her. Jacob would never be able to bear that.

Of course, if Renesmee _wanted_…

No. Jacob stopped his thoughts in their tracks. He needed to think of something, anything else. Cars would do. He started reciting the names of different makes and models in his head. A soft chuckle came from the driver's seat.

_Get the hell out of my head, Edward!_ He screamed mentally. Edward actually looked startled. And then he surprised everyone in the car by turning to his wife.

"Bella," Edwards said smoothly, "Would you mind shielding Jacob and Renesmee? I think they could both use a little privacy, and I'm having trouble tuning out." Bella quirked an eyebrow at her husband and then shrugged. Jacob tried to feel the moment when her shield encompassed him, but he never could, no matter how many times she did it.

Renesmee, evidently, could feel it. Jacob watched for a sign. There it was; her shoulders dropped slightly, the tension that held them up near her chin disappearing. Jacob could sympathize… having Edward in your head wasn't the most fun thing in the world, and being his daughter couldn't have made it much easier.

And now he was staring at her. Renesmee was still slumped low in her seat, but now she looked at little more comfortable. Her lower lip protruded a bit in a subconscious pout. Jacob tried to think of something other than those full, pouting lips. Even though Edward wasn't listening to his thoughts, it made his life easier if he avoided thinking about Nessie like that. _Pure thoughts only_, Jacob reprimanded himself mentally. _She is really beautiful. That was a pure thought, wasn't it?_

Nessie must have felt him staring, because she turned to look at him then, a helpless expression on her face. She wanted out NOW, Jacob could tell. He caught a flash of something going by outside the car—a road sign. "Look, Nessie," He said, pointing. "15 miles… we're almost there." Renesmee sat up straight in her seat and looked at the road sign, then craned her neck to look past her mother out the front window.

"We're so close… shouldn't we be able to see the skyline by now?" Jacob peered forward as well, curious.

"It's there," Edward assured his daughter. "You should be able to see it in a minute or so."

Renesmee looked like she was trying very hard to contain her excitement. "What do you think we should do first?" She said to Jacob. "It'll only be six-thirty when we get in… we'll have the whole night." They'd timed it this way on purpose, arriving around dusk so that the vampires could help with the moving in without having to worry about unexpected sunlight.

"Pizza?" Jacob replied hopefully. Renesmee wrinkled her nose.

"No thank you. I just hunted last night… it'll be a while before I have to resort to _eating. _Maybe we should go down to Times Square. Or go see some music. We'll have to figure out where all the good places to go are_._"

"You'll be helping your uncle unload your things," Edward intoned from the front seat. "And then you'll be putting them away and getting yourself settled." Renesmee rolled her eyes.

"Fine. Jake and I can wait until you're gone to do all the things you so clearly disapprove of." Jacob nearly choked on his own breath. _She wasn't implying anything like that,_ he mentally admonished himself, _get a grip, Jake._ Bella hissed quietly, as if she knew what he was thinking.

Renesmee peered at her mother, looking slightly concerned. "Mom?" she asked cautiously.

Bella didn't turn to face her daughter. "Don't… don't talk to your father that way, Renesmee," she said quietly. Renesmee raised an eyebrow.

"Oka-ay..."

"Look," Edward interjected, taking one hand off the wheel to point. The car was now driving towards a very visible New York skyline, just beginning to light up in the darkening sky. Renesmee was suddenly transfixed, and Jacob felt her excitement as though it was his own.

"Wow," she breathed. "I can't believe we get to _live_ there." As the said the word 'we', she reached over and gave Jacob a light shove.

In the front seat, Jacob heard Bella sigh again.

**Thanks for reading! Please review!**

In the next Chapter: _Bella glowered at Edward. He'd seen that look on her face before, many times, but never directed towards him. It was terrifying. "I have never felt so betrayed by you," She said in a quiet voice that sent a tremor through his entire body._

Stay Tuned!

~Crit.


	3. Two Months Ago

**A/N: **Hi guys! New chapter, new perspective… here's a little Edward for you. I'm going to put this out there, and I hope it doesn't make me radically unpopular: Edward and Bella were my least favorite characters in the books. This is my quest to like them better. It is my hope that, after 17 years of being a vampire and mother, Bella would have grown up a bit. But a person can only change their personality so far. Edward, on the other hand, will probably be pretty unchanged. I'm trying to harness his overprotective nature as best I can. Looks like some of it may have rubbed off on Bella, too =)

I apologize to the Jake fans out there. He'll be back in the next chapter. For now… enjoy a little family drama!

I can see that lots of people are reading this story… please review, and give me your suggestions and feedback. I love hearing from you!

~Crit.

**Chapter 3: Two Months Ago**

Edward was very rarely afraid of his wife. True, she was incredibly powerful and strong, and when she lost control of her temper she could be truly terrifying. But she seldom lost her temper with him, and when she did he was always able to subdue her fairly quickly.

This time might be an exception.

He strode at a normal human pace towards the house that he and his family shared. As had been the case in Forks, Edward, Bella and Renesmee had their own house on the family's property, a good distance from the main building. Rosalie and Emmett had also moved into their own private building during this latest relocation. Alice and Jasper stayed in the main house with Carlisle and Esme, preferring to be around the others as much as possible.

As he walked, Edward began to mentally chastise himself. Why had he gone to talk to Carlisle without bringing Bella? True, it would have become much more of a scene with her there, but on the other hand she wouldn't feel as though he had betrayed her by making decisions behind her back. Which was exactly what he'd done.

Carlisle had been very reasonable. He'd explained Renesmee's feelings, her desire to leave, to be allowed to discover the world outside of her family, to know what it was to lead a human existence. Edward had been angry at first. It was rare for him to lose his temper with Carlisle, but he couldn't help reacting to his adoptive father's words, and to his thoughts. He was so sure of himself, so convinced that he knew what was best for Renesmee. How _dare_ Carlisle suggest that Edward didn't know what was best for his own daughter? Carlisle didn't have children of his own, he couldn't understand. When he'd said these words to Carlisle, a sudden and immediate shame had spread through him. Carlisle had smiled a little sadly and nodded.

"_I can't know your bond with Renesmee, Edward. You're right about that. And if you don't consider me to be a father to you, and to the others, then perhaps you're right, perhaps I don't have any children of my own. But that doesn't mean I don't care for the five of you, and for Bella." He paused. As was so common with Carlisle, when Edward listened to his thoughts they were simply a backwards echo, a preview of the exact words he was about to speak. "And I know that if any one of you was feeling the way Renesmee feels right now, I would do everything within my power to correct the situation."_

"_She's young," Edward said stiffly. "She's seventeen. She can't possibly know what she wants. I'm only trying to keep her from making mistakes that could harm her."_

"_Bella made the decision to be with you forever at seventeen. If you were to ask my opinion, I'd say that decision was a good one."_

"_Renesmee is not Bella." Edward was refusing to be swayed. _

"_Of course not. And, as I see it, that's precisely the point here. Bella had a choice, you were very adamant about that. Renesmee has had none. If you intend to keep her here, with us, living the kind of life we do forever, then you might as well change her, because for all intents and purposes, she IS a vampire." He reached over and put one hand on Edward's tense shoulder. "Give her the chance to find out who she is. Give her at least this one opportunity."_

_Carlisle words hit Edward hard, and he knew that his argument was broken beyond all repair. "I don't want her to leave me," he said quietly. "It's too soon." _

_Carlisle still wore his sad smile. "It's been much longer than any of us figured we'd have." Edward couldn't deny that. "She won't leave you. She'll come back. This can't be about what you want."_

"_I know." Edward hadn't wept in over a hundred years, but he felt as though if he were human, he might have. "Is this how all parents feel when their children leave home?"_

_Carlisle laughed at that. "Oh, Edward." He shook his head. "You have never been a normal parent, and Renesmee has never been a normal child."_

_Edward felt a sudden sense of dread. "Bella," he said quietly. "This is going to kill her."_

Edward took a moment outside the door to compose himself before walking into the house. Of course, it didn't help one bit. Bella looked up as she heard the door open, and was in front of him in less than a second, looking up at him worriedly.

"What's wrong?" She said, panic creeping into her voice. "You look like…" She paused. "I haven't seen you look that way in a very long time," she finished quietly.

"Bella," Edward said, reaching out to cup her face with his hand. "Please try to stay calm. I'm going to tell you something that will likely make you very upset. Please just listen." He lead her to the couch and motioned for her to sit beside him.

He told her the situation, from Renesmee's confession to Jasper to his conversation with his adoptive father. Bella kept her promise and listened quietly until he was finished, but her eyes got narrower and narrower and her lips drew into a tight, hard line as the story progressed. When Edward stopped speaking, he looked at her expectantly.

"I hope," she said, her voice steely, "that Carlisle was sufficiently embarrassed when you told him that what _we_ do with _our_ daughter is absolutely none of his business."

Edward considered his words very carefully. "I did tell him that," he said slowly. "But it was I who ended up being embarrassed."

Bella went rigid. "You had better not be telling me what I think you're telling me," She said in a measured tone.

"Bella, I agree with him. I was upset at first, but he made me see that I was wrong. Renesmee needs to be given a choice. We can't keep her here, not when it's making her miserable."

"No!" Bella leapt up. "How can you say that? She's our _daughter_, Edward, she needs to be with us!" She grabbed his shoulders. "We risked our lives and the lives of all our friends to keep her safe when she was born, and now we're just going to, what, send her away unprotected because she wants to live in the big city? I don't think so."

"Bella," Edward said gently, "You're crushing my shoulder." Bella looked down to where her hand was resting. Sure enough, her fingers were hooked, vice-like, around her husband's shoulder. She eased up a bit but did not let go.

"This is not a discussion," Bella said. "She's not going."

"When you were seventeen, you begged me to change you into a vampire, and I refused. I didn't believe you knew what was good for you, and I thought you were ill-equipped to make such an important decision. I figured that, given time and perspective, you would realize that I was right and change your mind." Edward's mouth began to turn upward at one corner. "I never considered for one moment that _I_ might be the one who was wrong." He ran his fingertips over his wife's cool ivory cheek. "I've long since admitted that you were right back then, Bella. Just as Renesmee is right now." His voice took on a regretful tone. "We have to let her do this."

Bella was calming down, Edward noticed with measured relief. She still wasn't completely swayed, but she was coming around. "Let's just not make any decisions right away," She said gloomily. "I really think we should think this through." Edward winced. "What?"

"I… already agreed to it."

"You _WHAT_?" Bella flew at him, but this time Edward was prepared for her rage. He caught her easily by the arms and restrained her. It wasn't easy, but their strength was fairly even, Bella's newborn power having dwindled away to almost nothing over the past seventeen and a half years.

"If you could attempt to not get physically violent with me, I would appreciate it," Edward said sternly as he fought Bella off. This stilled her, and she backed down, eyes still blazing. "Thank you."

Bella glowered at him. He'd seen that look on her face before, many times, but never directed towards him. It was terrifying. "I have never felt so betrayed by you," She said in a quiet voice that sent a tremor through his entire body. He reached for her again, gently this time.

"Bella—"

"Don't touch me!" She backed away—no, recoiled, Edward thought grimly—from his touch. Then, without any warning, she dropped her shield, and her thoughts filled Edward's mind.

_I can't believe you would take my child away without asking, without even considering, my feelings. My Child. My CHILD. My heart. No respect… Still making my choices for me… swore you'd never hurt me again… Renesmee… my life… how could you, Edward?_

Edward nearly doubled over with the force of her anger. Her thoughts were full of rage, half-coherent and all directed towards him. There was sorrow there, too… he imagine she was grief-stricken by the fact that Renesmee had not come to her rather than Jasper, but for the most part it was all blind anger. "Bella," he gasped. He felt her shield clamp back down and there was nothing but silence.

"Don't." Her voice sliced through the quiet, sharp and lethal. "Nothing you say will change the way I feel right now."

Edward felt the strength draining out of him. Bella had never been this upset with him. No matter what he'd done, her love for him had always outweighed her anger or disappointment. But these days, there was someone Bella loved more than Edward. More than her own life. Renesmee was the most important person in Bella's world, and in her eyes, Edward had threatened her. Edward wanted to explain again, but he knew Bella wouldn't listen to him. "Bella, please…" he said weakly.

"No," Bella said quietly. And then she was gone, speeding out the door, across the field behind the house, and out of his field of vision.

"Hi Dad." Edward started. He hadn't heard Renesmee coming through the door until she reached out with her tentative greeting. Either she was getting stealthier, or he was completely distracted. He thought he had a good idea which explanation was more likely. He had been reaching out blindly for Bella's thoughts, for the possibility that she might drop her shield and be close enough for him to hear her. He was seated on the couch, in the same position he'd been in since moments after Bella had torn from the house. He looked past Renesmee at the sky outside the window. The sun was low… it had been hours.

Then he took in his daughter's appearance. She was a sight for sore eyes. Her curly hair was wild and frizzy, like she'd been moving very fast through an opposing wind, there was dirt on her cheek and on her arms, and her jeans were torn just above the left knee. She had a string of nervous expletives running through her head. If he hadn't been so thoroughly engrossed in his thoughts, he would have found it incredibly amusing.

She was well aware of his scrutiny, but she mistook it. "Are you mad at me?" she asked cautiously. Edward sighed heavily and shook his head.

"No, Renesmee… I'm not angry with you." She looked shocked. Edward nodded to her favorite chair, which was across from the sofa. Renesmee finally unfroze and stepped away from the front door, toeing off her shoes and moving to sit in the chair. She twisted her legs beneath herself and sat on her heels, childishly

"Where's mom?" She asked.

Edward knew better than to make things worse. "Your mother had to run some errands. She said she might be a little late. I think she wanted some time to herself." He despised himself for lying so easily.

"Is _she_ mad at me?"

"She's fine. She just needs to get used to the idea of you leaving."

"Well, good," Renesmee said, her tone more self-assured. "You guys really have no reason to be upset. Carlisle said it himself… it's my choice, right?"

"You always have choices, Renesmee," Edward said quietly, "And you should be allowed to make them on your own. You're an adult now. I'm not upset with you for wanting to make your own decisions." Renesmee's grin was a cross between grateful and smug. "But." Her face fell.

"I knew it," she muttered. "There's _always_ a 'but'."

"You should have told us first. We are your parents, Renesmee. We never want to do anything that causes you pain, everything we do for you is to make sure you're happy and safe."

"I _know_ that," Renesmee interjected miserably. "That's why I couldn't tell you." Edward heard the explanation loud and clear before she had a chance to continue. _I didn't want you and mom to think that I wanted to leave because I was unhappy, or because I hate my life or something._

"I can hear your thoughts," Edward said unnecessarily. "I know you don't hate your life with us." He forced a smile, although it was the last thing he really felt like doing. "I've never had to wonder about your love, Renesmee, just as I hope you've never wondered about mine."

"_Dad_." His daughter was blushing. Now Edward smiled for real. Sometimes she didn't know just how human she was. Seventeen and a half, out all day with no explanation and coming back a wreck, and easily embarrassed by a declaration of fatherly affection. "You _know_ I haven't. I know you and mom love me a lot."

"More than a lot."

She rolled her eyes. "That doesn't change anything. I still want to go. I just… need some time."

"I know." Edward did know, now. Renesmee's thoughts were clear and open, spread out before him. "What I can't understand is how I didn't know before." He turned his most searching gaze on his daughter. "You wouldn't happen to know anything about why I haven't been able to hear you thinking about leaving, would you?"

Renesmee looked somewhat abashed. "I might have asked mom to shield me every now and then. We've sort of been keeping it a secret from you."

Edward fixed his daughter with a skeptical look. "Your mother was completely unaware of your desire to leave us before today."

"It's not a desire to _leave you_," Renesmee corrected. "And no, she didn't know specifically what I was thinking, just that I needed some privacy while I thought it." She sighed. "Okay Dad, I'm going to tell you something, but only if you promise not to be too upset with Mom."

"I promise."

Renesmee was fidgeting, something she only did when she was very nervous. "Mom and I have been doing this for years. When I was ten, on my birthday, Mom took me up to my room and sat me down. She explained that she was shielding us both, and that we needed to have a talk. She told me that she knew I was getting older, and as a result I might start wanting some privacy, even from the people I loved the most. She said every girl should be allowed to figure out what's going on in her head as she grows into a woman, and that she could imagine it must be pretty tough for me, having my father inside my mind all the time. She told me that from that point on, I could ask her to shield me anytime I needed a little 'alone time'. No questions asked. And that, if I didn't want you to know she was shielding me, she'd try to distract you. I know sometimes you figured out when she was doing it, but when it was really important she generally worked as hard as she could on getting you to focus on other people's thoughts so that you wouldn't know she was hiding mine." She looked down at her hands, folded discreetly in her lap. "Please don't be mad."

Edward shook his head, smiling wistfully. "Renesmee, your mother loves you very much," he said softly.

"I know."

They sat in silence for a while before Edward broke the silence again. "How did Jacob take the news?"

The guilty look returned to his daughter's face, and he heard her mental answer. " I _wanted_ to tell him," she said out loud, defensively, "I just didn't want everybody to be upset with me all at once."

Edward watched his daughter carefully, and tried his best to avoid listening in on what was probably a very personal internal monologue. "You're going to have to tell him eventually, you know," he said gently.

"I know." A sudden buzzing from the coffee table startled them both. Edward reached forward and grabbed his vibrating cell phone, flipping it open. On the screen was a text message from Alice. _Heads up, she's coming back,_ it said.

"You may want to go upstairs," Edward told his daughter. She gave him a curious look.

"How come?"

"Your mother's coming." Renesmee leapt up from her seat and was starting for the stairs when Bella silently appeared in the doorway. They stared at each other.

"Hi Mom," she said nervously. Bella strode across the room to meet her daughter, an unreadable expression on her face. Edward subtly rose from the couch, ready to intervene if necessary. _Oh, sit DOWN,_ his wife's voice rang out in his head at almost the instant when his daughter's thoughts became inaudible. Edward did as he was told.

"Honey…" Bella whispered, and then Renesmee was in her arms. Edward watched as Bella stroked their daughter's head, gripping her tightly to her chest. "You should have come to me first," she said softly into Renesmee's hair. And then she stiffened a little, sniffed, and pulled back. "What happened to you?" she said, examining her daughter at arm's length.

"Um." Renesmee looked down at her torn and dirty clothes and attempted to run a hand through her tangled curls. "Jacob and I went running."

"Were you both running," Bella asked slowly, "Or just Jake?"

Renesmee smiled sheepishly. "Just Jake."

"Renesmee, you're not a little girl anymore." Bella gave her daughter an exasperated look. "Jacob is not a horse. And you can run just as fast as he can."

"Come on, Mom… its fun." She swiped futilely at one of the smears of dirt on her arm. "Besides, it's just Jake. It doesn't bother him."

"I'm sure." Bella let the subject drop. "Honey, it's late. You should probably get some rest." As if on cue, Renesmee stifled a yawn.

"Are you sure? You don't want to talk about—" Bella shook her head.

"We'll have plenty of time for that tomorrow. Go get yourself into bed." Renesmee didn't argue; she looked ready to drop. She gave her mother a kiss on the cheek and then crossed the room and did the same to Edward.

"Thanks, guys," She said, turning at the foot of the stairs to look at her parents. "For everything. I love you."

"We love you too, Ness," Bella said genuinely. "Have a good sleep."

Edward waited until he heard his daughter's bedroom door click shut before he turned to look at Bella. She was already staring openly at him. "You came back."

"I'm not ready to talk to you yet," She said firmly. He caught on to the last word.

"Yet."

"That's right." She had put her shield back up during her conversation with Renesmee, and now she lowered it again for a moment. _I'm really furious with you, you know?_

"I had figured that out." Edward started towards her. "Bella… please don't leave me again. We don't have to talk about it now… just please stay."

_Talk me into it. I'm so close to forgiving you, just—_ Bella's thoughts disappeared abruptly. "Shit," she muttered. Edward tried very hard not to smile. "Oh, stop it. Don't look so smug."

Now he couldn't help it. He was directly in front of her in less than a moment. "What can I do, Bella? Tell me how I can convince you not to leave."

"You were wrong," She said harshly.

"I was." His hands were on her arms.

"And you're sorry."

"So very sorry." He took a step towards her, until their bodies were flush against each other.

"And you are _never_ going to disregard my feelings like that again."

"Never." Their lips were millimeters apart.

"And you are going to respect my feelings and stop invading my personal space now." Edward hesitated. "_Right now_, Edward." He let go of her, putting his hands up in surrender and gliding elegantly backwards.

"Fine, fine." Bella looked about ready to crack a smile any moment. He looked very earnestly at his wife. "I really am sorry," he said quietly. "And I'm ready to discuss it whenever you are."

She did smile, then. "Thank you for admitting your mistake," she said formally, and then in a tone that was much more sly, "I know how difficult that must have been for you." He raised one eyebrow at her.

"She gets her strong will from you, you know," he said. Bella shook her head, still smiling.

"I know." And then her eyes glazed over and Edward knew that mentally, she had gone someplace far away. "I know," she repeated, a little bit sadly.

**A/N:** Yup, she was riding him. Like a horse. C'mon… don't tell me that if your best friend was a giant wolf you wouldn't ask for a ride!

In the next chapter:

"_Wonder what's in here?" She said, pulling the drawer open. As soon as she'd done so, she slammed it shut again. "Oh lord," she said, sounding pained. Jacob smirked. _

"_Underwear, huh?"_

_She shook her head, not to disagree but rather in reaction to Alice's choices in undergarments. "You don't even want to know," she said miserably. Jacob silently agreed. It would be really hard not to think about Renesmee's sexy lingerie around Edward. _


	4. Subtlety: Not a Cullen Character Trait

**A/N: **I know it's been a long time. All I have to say about that is, Flashdrives are for transferring files only. Never, ever work and save on them. If you do, you'll end up losing over forty pages worth of writing.

Seriously. It happened.

Oh well… gotta learn the hard way sometimes! Anyhow, I've gotten myself back up to where I was before (almost), so I'll start posting again. I've got a decent buffer zone, and I'm saved on the hard drive this time. No more taking chances.

In this chapter: the new digs!

Thanks for Reading!

~Crit.

**Chapter 4: Subtlety—Not a Cullen Character Trait**

The sun had dropped below the skyline as the Cullens' car pulled up in front of a very large, very old building in the heart of Greenwich Village. Renesmee practically sprang from the car the moment her father hit the brakes. She zoomed around the back of the vehicle and made a beeline for the building, skidding to a stop before the looming, grandiose façade. Jacob got out of the car and moved to stand beside her, taking in her expression. She looked mildly stunned, despite having living in varying levels of grandeur her entire life.

"I told Gramma Esme to go with something subtle," she said flatly. Jacob chuckled.

"And you couldn't have guessed how that would turn out?" He shook his head and turned to look at the building. She had a point… it was pretty impressive. It was about eight stories high, covered entirely in rich red brick. Long windows soared up the building's face, at least two stories high each, and topped with semi-circles of delicate stained glass. Not his style, but he knew Renesmee would love it. Jacob looked toward the elaborate front door, with its many panes of beveled glass, searching for a date plate. 1896. "Hey Ed," he said casually over his shoulder. "This place is even older than you are!"

Edward and Bella were striding towards them, both looking at the building appreciatively. Edward handed Jacob a suitcase from the trunk. "We might as well take some things up. No sense waiting for Renesmee… we'd be here all night."

Jacob smirked. Another joke from Edward. "Yeah, I think she may have broken a circuit," he agreed. "Hey Ness! You alright, or did the pretty building break you?"

"I am perfectly unbroken, thank you very much," Renesmee retorted, not even fazed by his teasing. She turned to her father. "Dad, do you have the keys? Can we go inside?" Edward reached into his pocket and tossed her a key ring. Renesmee caught it with ease, even thought Jacob knew the impact of Edward's light toss would have taken the average human girl's hand off. It made him wonder, not for the first time, exactly how practical this quest of Renesmee's was. She could try to be human as hard as she wanted, but when it all boiled down to it, she wasn't human, and she never would be. Jacob wasn't sure why she'd want to be anyway, but it was important to her, so he was willing to indulge her. As always.

Edward shot him a look which clearly said he understood. Jacob was still always a bit surprised when Edward was on his side. Their relationship had been so full of animosity for the first few years that they'd known each other, and that tension had been slow to dissipate. Obviously, Edward still harboured some uneasy feelings over Jacob's attachment to Renesmee. But sometimes, the vampire surprised him by letting his compassionate side shine through, and for brief moments in time Jacob could understand how Bella and Renesmee could car so much for Edward.

They followed Renesmee into the building, Bella trailing behind them (_at a distance_, Jacob thought to himself before pushing the thought away, where Edward wouldn't be able to wonder about it). Jacob was a bit apprehensive when he caught sight of the elevator, which looked about as old as the building. It was the kind of lift he'd only ever seen in movies, with a folding gate that pulled across the door, brass buttons and walls covered with smoked mirrors. He eyed the elevator dubiously before stepping into it, but it moved surprisingly fast and smoothly. An arrow moved across a numbered dialed, and a loud _ding_ sounded as it stopped on the number 3.

The third floor, as it turned out, consisted of a small square landing with a door to the left and a door to the right. Edward gestured for Renesmee to unlock the left-hand door, which she did eagerly, and they all stepped inside.

"Whoa." Renesmee stood frozen in the entryway to the loft, taking in her new surroundings. Jacob silently echoed her statement. Whoa was right. The small, dark entrance gave way to a large room with a ceiling that soared up two stories. An ornate staircase spiraled down from a balcony that stretched the entire length of the apartment, facing the huge windows. Jacob turned to look through the glass and found himself staring at the Empire State Building.

Renesmee was zooming from one place to the other, examining their new home. She ran around the staircase to one corner of the open-concept main floor, where a baby grand piano was conveniently nestled. She lifted the lid and snapped the brace into place with one hand, and then moved to the keys and plunked out a simple melody. "Oh-h-h," she breathed as the notes reverberated in the open space. "Good call, dad."

Edward fixed Jacob with a look. "No phasing within 12 feet of that," he said warningly. "It's a Steinway."

Jacob didn't really know if he was supposed to be impressed by the name Steinway or not, so he just nodded. "Phase on this side of the room. Got it." He was distracted by a sudden blur of motion by the balcony, and turned just in time to see Renesmee swinging herself easily over the antique brass railing.

"Honey, use the stairs," Bella admonished as Renesmee tucked a stray hair back into place behind her ear.

"It's only about 20 feet," Renesmee said as she took off to explore the second floor. "Wow, Jake! Come check out these bedrooms!"

Jacob shook his head and started for the staircase. Renesmee was insufferable when she was excited about something. Also adorable. But mostly just insufferable.

He found her standing in the first bedroom, which was furnished in deep greens and browns. Very comfortable and masculine, with rough-hewn wooden furniture. Jacob smirked. This must be his room. He could just imagine Alice and Esme putting it together. It was actually pretty nice.

"Check this out," Renesmee said, a hint of mischief in her voice. She pushed a small black button on the wall and the large wooden cabinet in front of the bed flew open, revealing an enormous flatscreen television. Jacob gaped. "I think it's taller than you," Renesmee mused casually, "but it's hard to tell with it mounted on the wall."

"Whoa," he finally said. Renesmee smirked.

"You're not impressed by nineteenth century architecture or the New York skyline, but a big TV renders you dumbfounded." She socked him lightly on the bicep. "You're such a _boy_, Jake."

Jacob stared down at her. "You know, Ness, maybe I'll just go back upstate and move in with Esme and Alice. They're much nicer to me than you are." To accentuate his point, he gestured to the television.

"Yes, but I'm the only one who can put up with your _smell._" Jacob swatted at her, but she was too quick for him. He gave her a few seconds head start before chasing her down the hall to the other room.

Renesmee's bedroom was about the same size as Jacob's, finished entirely in rich browns, creams and golds. Jacob watched as Renesmee picked up a small square of paper from the carved velvet bedspread and read it with an expression full of dread.

"What's up, Small-fry?" He said, walking across the room to where she stood. She just handed him the paper. _Look in the closet! ~A_, it read in tiny, extravagant cursive. Renesmee looked up at him pleadingly.

"I told her not to," She said miserably. Jacob just chuckled.

"Your mother's daughter," he said, patting her on the back. "Go on, get it over with. You know she's going to call you any minute to see how you like it. I'll come with you if you want… protect you from all those big bad designer labels." He shoved her in the direction of the closet door.

It was like a small boutique. Alice had left cupboards open and drawers pulled out so that Renesmee could see all of her new things immediately upon entrance. Despite her protestations, Renesmee began to look through the seemingly endless supply of new clothing, scrutinizing the new stock carefully. She stopped before what Jacob guessed was the accessory cabinet, fingering the dozens of dangling necklaces and earrings appreciatively. She pulled at a drawer that was full of glasses, only half of which had tinted lenses for sun protection. "What the hell, Alice?" Renesmee muttered, picking up a pair of frames with clear lenses and examining them. Jacob laughed as she eyed the useless things.

"Maybe she thinks they'll help you blend in with the other nerds at school," he suggested. Renesmee stuck out her tongue at him, and then placed the frames on her face. "Hey, they actually look kind of cute," he said involuntarily. Renesmee rolled her eyes, and then turned to one of the many mirrors.

"Well… I guess they're not horrible. Maybe I'll try them out in public sometime." She moved down the line of drawers and cabinets to one in the back corner that was closed. "Wonder what's in here?" She said, pulling it open. As soon as she'd done so, she slammed it shut again. "Oh lord," she said, sounding pained. Jacob smirked.

"Underwear, huh?"

She shook her head, not to disagree but rather in reaction to Alice's choices in undergarments. "You don't even want to know," she said miserably. Jacob silently agreed. It would be really hard not to think about Renesmee's sexy lingerie around Edward.

A high, tinkling melody sounded from Renesmee's pocket. "You called it," she said to Jacob, flipping her phone open and holding it to her ear. There was a high buzzing noise from the other end. Jacob smirked. Alice.

"Yes, Aunt Alice. Yes, it's all very nice. No, I'm sure he loved it. OK… _OK!_" she put her hand over the phone. "She wants to know if you liked your room," she said, giving him a harassed look. Jacob took the phone from her.

"It's great, Shorty." He could practically hear her beaming through the phone.

"Oh, good. I was worried you might think it was too woodsy, you know? It's so hard to do things for the two of you… I can never tell how you're going to react."

"In other words, you can't cheat." Jacob grinned at Renesmee. Alice deserved a little teasing for putting her entire family through fashion hell.

"Jacob Black! I don't _cheat_." She said it like it was a curse word. "I just have a natural advantage." She huffed indignantly, and then her voice brightened again. "What did you think of the clothes?"

"The clothes? They're, um…" He glanced around the closet. "Girly. They'll look nice on her, I guess." Alice giggled.

"Not Nessie's clothes, you silly wolf. Your clothes!"

"My—" Jacob's eyes widened. "You didn't."

"Oh, but I did." That damn pixie. Renesmee was staring at him, wide-eyed. On the other end of the line, Alice was still snickering. "I've been _dying_ to get my hands on your wardrobe since we met."

"Can't die if you're already dead," Jacob muttered. Renesmee laughed out loud then. Alice clucked disapprovingly.

"None of that," she said lightly. "You'll thank me later. The shirtless/sweatpants look will not fly in Greenwich Village."

"Right. Here's Ness." He gave the phone back to Renesmee, who took it and strode out of her closet, exploring the bedroom and ensuite bath. Jacob rounded the corner—and ran straight into something very solid and very cold.

"Ugh!" Emmett leaped backwards and began swiping at his shirtfront. Jacob grimaced and rubbed his arm.

"That's gonna bruise," he muttered.

"Sorry," Emmett didn't look all that sorry, really. "If it helps, that smell's not going to come out of this shirt. Rose'll probably make me burn it."

Jacob had to laugh at that. "Keep it around. You never know… Blondie might start to miss my signature scent." Emmett clapped him on the shoulder. Out of all the vampires, Jacob got along best with Alice and Emmett. They still teased each other mercilessly, but his interactions with Emmett now verged on an easy camaraderie.

"How was the drive in?" the biggest member of the Cullen clan asked him, "Tense and unpleasant, or violent and unbearable?"

"Column A," Jacob replied. "Lucky me."

"Where's my niece?" Emmett started peering into doorways. "She needs to get her lazy little butt downstairs and give me a hand with her stuff." Jacob chuckled.

"Yeah, you really need the help of a teenaged half-human to move a few boxes."

"That's not the point!"

Renesmee strode into the hall, clicking her cell phone shut. "What was that about me being lazy?"

"I didn't call you lazy… just your butt. Now get it downstairs, little lady… hard labour awaits." Emmett dodged a smack to the arm and then caught Renesmee by the wrist. "Don't make me fireman-carry you," he warned. Renesmee tried her best to glare at her uncle, to no avail. Jacob rolled his eyes. He didn't know anyone other than Emmett who could talk to women like that and still have them do what he said. Emmett could charm a reaction out of a brick wall… little Nessie didn't stand a chance. He watched Renesmee barrel down the stairs, followed by her mountain of an uncle, and then set off to explore his room a little further.

He started with the ensuit bathroom, which was bigger than his living room back at his Father's house in La Push. He was somewhat used to living in more luxurious settings since he began traveling cross-country with the Cullens. In every town they moved to, they also purchased a house nearby their own for Jacob and the pack. Leah and Seth hadn't stayed with him all the time, opting to stay at home with their mother and visit for a few weeks every few months—at first. But something had happened that changed that. Jacob had been without his pack for nearly three months after the first move, and they were due for a visit within the week, when he received a frantic call from Seth.

"_Jake._" _Jacob barely recognized the voice on the other end of the line. Seth sounded horrible. The kid was always so cheerful, so optimistic… he didn't think he'd ever heard Seth sounding so bleak. _

_"What's wrong?" he said immediately, his Alpha instincts taking over. Seth and Leah hadn't phased in a couple days, at least not when Jacob was in wolf form. Anything could have happened. "Are you okay?" he had a thought that made his stomach drop. "Did something happen to Leah?"_

_"Jake, she…" Seth was struggling with his words. "She's bleeding."_

**In the next chapter:** A blast from the past.


	5. Fifteen Years Ago

_A/N: I will be resuming regular updates on this story from now on. Sorry it took so long… it won't happen again. I'm aware that I left you with a rather unfair cliffhanger… I apologize for that as well. It should all be resolved in short order._

_Enjoy the chapter, and please review!_

_~Crit._

**Chapter 5: Fifteen Years Ago**

Jacob felt his muscles begin to quiver. This couldn't be happening… he never should have left his pack. Leah was hurt… maybe she was dying. "What happened? Did somebody attack you? Where is she hurt?"

Seth cleared his throat. "Um… she isn't hurt." He paused. "She's not bleeding, like: injured, she's… … you know, like _girls_ do."

It took Jacob a minute. "Oh-h..." he said when the meaning of Seth's words hit him. His first instinct was to be mildly grossed out… until he remembered a mental conversation he'd had with Leah long ago. He could have gone his entire life without thinking about Leah's menstrual cycle, and happily, but some things just weren't in the cards when you shared a brain half the time. "But… that's not possible. She said that stopped when her transformations started. It's been almost five years since then." Jacob was really confused. He wished he was there, so that he could know what was happening. "Can you both go some place to phase, right now, so that I can hear the whole story for myself?"

"I can't." Seth's voice was softer than Jacob had ever heard. And then he heard something even more shocking; a soft sniffling noise. Seth was crying. "I can't," he repeated, "Jake, I can't phase."

"What?" Jacob had just phased earlier that morning, to hunt with Nessie. He hadn't had any trouble at all. "Seth, just calm down… what do you mean, you can't? Are you somewhere where people would see you?" Of course, Jacob knew that wasn't the case. Why would Seth be this upset over something like that?

"I just can't!" Now the kid was starting to sound frantic. "Neither can Leah. She's a little preoccupied… freaking out about her body going through all sorts of girl stuff again… but I've been trying all day, and I can't do it. I've just lost it… it's gone."

Jacob felt like his skin was on fire. This was his fault, somehow. His pack was in trouble. He'd left them, and now something awful was happening. "Are you sure?" he said weakly. Of course Seth was sure. What a stupid question.

Seth sniffed again. When he answered, his voice was very quiet and small. "Jake, I'm scared," he said desperately. "How could this happen? It's not supposed to be this way… this is who we are! How could it just disappear?"

The wheels in Jacob's head were turning. Maybe there _was_ an explanation. He'd moved away nearly three months before, following the Cullens. Who happened to be the only vampires in the vicinity of La Push, as far as he knew. He was living five hundred feet from their house. He could still phase. Leah and Seth, who were nowhere nearby, could not. "Seth, hold on. Do you remember what Billy told us once, about why we become wolves in the first place?"

"Of course," Seth said instantly, the history lesson distracting him from his misery, "To protect Forks and La Push from the vampires."

"And what happened when the vampires left?"

Seth's end of the line went silent. He'd figured it out too. "But it hasn't been that long," he protested weakly. "This shouldn't be possible, not this quickly."

"How would we know that? This has never happened in our lifetime. There are all sorts of things that could vary the amount of time it takes for the changes to stop." Jacob was struck by a creeping sense of dread. If all the Quileute wolves had stopped phasing, that meant he was alone. The only one of his kind. He suddenly felt the absence acutely, like there was a huge gaping hole in the middle of his chest.

"Jacob?" he snapped out of his reverie at the sound of Seth's voice. "Are you still there?"

"Yeah," he said dumbly. "I'm here."

"Leah just came in… she wants to talk to you."

"Okay." There was a pause while the phone changed hands, and then Leah was on the line.

"Well? What are we going to do now?" she said expectantly. No greeting, straight to the point. Jacob felt a sudden constriction in his chest. _Leah._ His beta, his right hand. He hadn't even realized how close they'd grown until he was faced with the thought of never sharing her thoughts again. It was almost physically painful. Jacob sat down, right there on his kitchen floor.

"I don't know, Leah." He felt like pouring his heart out the her, but he knew she would consider it a waste of time. She probably felt worse than he did, anyway. She'd just call him self-indulgent.

"Aren't you supposed to be in charge?" Sometimes, when she made comments like this, Jacob knew that Leah was just teasing. But not today. "You'd better come up with something, and soon. If Seth doesn't stop bawling, I'm really going to give him something to cry about."

Jacob almost smiled. That acerbic wit was exactly what he needed to distract him from how terrified he was at the prospect of losing his pack. "I think it's because the vamps are gone. That's why my transformations haven't stopped."

"No kidding." Leah paused. "Sam came to see me yesterday."

Jacob had almost forgotten about the other pack. "Is his pack…"

"Same deal. None of them can make the change." She lowered her voice slightly. "He's scared, Jacob. He didn't say it, but I could tell. He was like an open book… Sam's never like that around me anymore."

Jacob pondered this. Sam hadn't figured it out yet, then. By this point, it was obvious to him. The Cullens had left, and there was no threat left to protect the humans from. The wolves were unnecessary. Except that Jacob knew the minds of his pack, and of Sam's pack. And he knew that to them, being a wolf was absolutely necessary. What had Seth said? _This is who we are_. Jacob made up his mind then and there.

"Leah, pack your things. You and Seth need to get out here as soon as possible. I'll go talk to Carlisle, we'll arrange for plane tickets."

He was expecting an argument, but to his surprise, Leah agreed with him. "I'll get all our stuff together. Give me a ring when you have a plan." If Leah was being this agreeable, Jacob mused, she must really be worried. He couldn't blame her.

They said goodbye and Jacob hung up the phone. He was still for a few moments before springing up from the floor and tearing out the door, heading for the Cullen house. Carlisle was home, he knew, and he would help. He had to.

Thank god for the Cullen family's connections, Jacob thought as he sped along the stretch of road heading to the small local airport. Carlisle had been able to track down a biplane and a pilot within a couple hours of Jacob barging into his office. He had agreed with Jacob; the changes had likely stopped because the Cullens had left Forks. The only way to test the theory was to bring Seth and Leah to where the family was now. It was a quick 45 minute plane ride, they would already be on the small runway when Jacob pulled up. His heart leapt with the thought of his small pack being reunited, despite the tense circumstances.

They were there, standing beside two small duffle bags. Seth, large and burly like Jacob, his shaggy dark hair just brushing his collar. Leah, with her long, sinewy limbs, standing rigidly next to her brother, sharp eyes blazing out from under a fringe of cropped black hair. Jacob slammed on the brakes and his pack mates rushed towards the car. Seth grabbed his shoulder as he climbed into the back seat. Leah rode shotgun, and as she got into the car she gave Jacob a quick, grateful glace.

"What did Carlisle say?" Seth asked. Jacob watched his youngest pack member in the rearview mirror. Seth was so young. He was only a couple years younger than Jacob, physically, but in some ways he seemed younger still. The transformation had come so early for Seth, and then his father's death soon afterwards. Jacob worried about him sometimes, probably more than was necessary. More, even, than he worried about Leah.

"He agrees with me," Jacob replied evenly, "But he's not sure what's going to happen when you're… reunited… with the Cullens. We have no basis for comparison, and in past generations once the vamps disappeared they stayed gone. He's offered to take a look at you guys, if you want, see what he might be able to figure out."

Leah scowled. "I can't believe we're going to Doctor Death for help with this."

"Leah, stop it. Carlisle has been really good to me, and to all of us. And he's Nessie's family, which means he's my family. Which means he's _your_ family."

"Not in this lifetime," Leah muttered sourly. Seth met Jacob's eye in the mirror with a pleading, apologetic look. Jacob shot him a reassuring half-smile.

"If there's anything to find out, Carlisle will get to it," he said confidently. He wished he felt as certain as he sounded.

They were approaching the private driveway that led to the Cullen house. It was still about a five minute drive. Jacob was getting antsy, and even more so because the uneven, winding drive made it hard for his Rabbit to reach its top speed.

As if echoing his thoughts, Leah rolled her eyes and turned to him. "Should have taken one of the Vampmobiles," she said. "Can't we go any f—" Jacob turned to look at her. She was frozen in her seat.

"What?" Leah looked like she was concentrating very hard on something. "Leah, what is it?" As Jacob watched, sweat began to bead along her forehead. He slammed on the brakes. "Leah!" He turned around. "Seth, get up here and—" He broke off as he caught sight of the younger man. Seth, like his sister, was frozen in place, sweating and staring straight ahead.

"Jake," he ground out, "I think I'm…"

And then, in the very next instant, there was a loud cracking sound. Jacob yelled as he felt himself pushed into the driver's side door, which buckled outward with the impact. He felt like he was being crushed for a brief moment before the door flew off of the car and he felt himself propelled backwards. Another loud crack sounded before Jacob had picked himself up from the pavement, and there was a sound of metal groaning and twisting, and then a very familiar snarl sounded from the direction of the car. Jacob flew to his feet, ignoring the shooting pain in his left leg. It was probably broken. He didn't care. In front of the twisted mass of scrap metal that had once been his beloved Rabbit were two panting, snarling wolves, huge and menacing and staring at him. Jacob gaped at them, hardly daring to believe his eyes.

"Well," said a voice from behind him, "I suppose that answers our first question." Jacob looked over his shoulder. Carlisle was standing there, flanked by Edward, Bella and Emmett. "Seth, Leah," he nodded at the wolves, "Welcome."

It hadn't taken very long for Seth and Leah to return to their old selves. It was less than eight hours after his pack had destroyed his tiny car by phasing inside of it, and Jacob was sitting in his house on the outskirts of the Cullen property, watching them scrap with each other as if nothing had ever happened. Seth was prattling on about something, and Leah was shooting glares and barbs at him sporadically as she tried to make them all something to eat. Jacob smirked as he watched them. Leah was a terrible cook, and she was completely aware of that fact, but she refused to touch Esme's cooking. This had happened before… Jacob knew it was only a matter of time before she caved and started eating at the main house. Seth was already moaning about the lasagna Esme had offered to make from scratch. Leah fixed him with a death glare as she shredded cheese over and egg-covered frying pan.

"You'll eat this omelet, Seth Clearwater, and you'll enjoy it. And then you'll say thank you and offer to do the dishes." Jacob snickered. Leah was always bossing Seth around, and it never seemed to take, no matter how authoritative she was.

Seth left the room to go wash up before dinner (his hands were filthy from all the running around he'd done after discovering that he could phase again), and Jacob strode over to Leah, leaning on the counter beside her.

"I'm glad you're here," he said quietly. Leah looked up at him suspiciously, but all Jacob could see were her strong, elegant features and deep, clever eyes. Despite the perpetual scowl, Leah was actually quite nice looking. Jacob appreciated for the first time how Sam could have fallen for her. She had a spirit, an electricity, that was completely unique, and suddenly Jacob couldn't imagine how he could live without her in his pack.

There was a sudden, sharp stinging on one side of his face. "Ow!" Jacob said, rubbing his cheek. "What was that for?"

Leah had backed up and was glaring at him. "Jacob Black, don't you _dare_ look at me like that!"

"Like what?" Jacob was still massaging his face. Even in her human form, Leah had a mean smack.

"Like you love me," she said, her voice thick with disdain. "You're standing there over me looking at me with puppy dog eyes. It's disgusting."

Jacob howled with laughter. "Leah," he said when he caught his breath, "I _do_ love you. But not like that. You're like my—"

"Don't say it," Leah groaned.

"—my sister. And I don't ever want to think about losing you, or Seth, again."

Leah rolled her eyes and turned her back to him as she went over to fiddle with something near the sink. "Stop it, please. I already have one overly sentimental little brother… I definitely don't need another." She started back towards the stove, on which the skillet was now smoking dangerously. "Oh, _shit_," She muttered, pulling the burned omelet off the stove. She threw up her hands. "That's it… I'm ordering pizza."

Jacob knew better than to suggest they call Esme right now. He took the pan out of her hands and dumped the charred mess, and then moved to the sink to wash the pan. When he was done, he turned to see Leah watching him calculatingly. "What?" he said, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious.

"Nothing!" she said haughtily. "Where's the phone? If I don't get some Dominos in the next hour I'm gonna have to hunt. And as happy as I am that we can phase again… I'm not quite happy enough for that." Jacob just grinned and handed her his cell.

When she'd ordered them enough pizza to fill the freezer for a month, she handed Jacob back his phone, and then gave him another pensive look. "Is it something this time?" He asked sarcastically.

Leah waited a moment before asking, "Are you going to call him?"

Jacob didn't have to ask who she meant. Sam. Of course. When he'd called his former Alpha earlier, the phone had rung continuously for a minute and a half before Jacob gave up, figuring nobody was home. He glanced down at his phone. He really should call again. "Yeah, I guess I'll do it in a minute," he said slowly. He wasn't sure why he was worried about Sam's reaction. Leah was still giving him that mysterious, unreadable look.

"Can I?" She said suddenly. Jacob looked at her with surprise.

"Um… if you want to. But I've gotta ask: why?"

Leah shrugged defensively. "I just… I need to talk to him." She put out her hand, and then grated out another word, as if it pained her. "Please."

Jacob willingly handed over the phone. Leah took it and started for the door, shooting him a thankful look over her shoulder as she stepped outside. Seth was coming down the stairs, and he made a face as he smelled the burned remains of their dinner.

"Ew. I told her to let Esme cook." He look at Jacob questioningly. "Where's Leah?" he asked. Jacob gestured to the front door.

"Talking to Sam."

Seth whistled lowly. "Well. That's something." He threw himself over the couch. "I didn't think she'd ever talk to him again. You know what he told her, when he came to see her the other day?" Jacob shook his head as he moved to sit opposite his pack mate. "He told her that when he lost the ability to phase, his imprint on Emily disappeared."

Jacob sat up straight in his chair. "_What?_" He shook his head again. "That's not possible."

"Not according to Sam." Seth scowled, looking a little like his older sister. "He said that the moment it happened, all the memories of him and Leah together that the imprint had helped him gloss over all came rushing back, and he remembered how much he had loved her when they were together. And he realized all over again how much damage he'd done to her, and it 'nearly destroyed him'." Seth laughed, but there was no humour in it. "He actually suggested that it made him understand what she went through all those years ago."

Jacob was furious. He couldn't believe Sam's nerve. "What about Emily?" he said. He'd never seen anyone as devoted to their mate as Emily was to Sam. If he betrayed her, it would kill her.

Seth rolled his eyes. "Here's the best part, Jake… he's still with her. He never intended to leave her, thank god, and he insists he still loves her more than anything else." His upper lip curled up in a sneer. "He just 'wanted Leah to know'."

Jacob growled deep in his throat. "I'm glad I let Leah call him, then," he said in a low voice. "I could tell him off, but… she's much more impressive. And I think she's earned it." Seth broke out in a real smile, then.

"_Oh_ yeah." They both jumped guiltily as Leah came back into the house, slamming the door behind her. She immediately turned to glare at Seth.

"You don't know how to keep your mouth shut, do you?" She said, not sounding half as angry as Jacob had expected. Seth shrugged.

"I figured he'd find out eventually."

Jacob got up to stand by Leah. "What was his reaction?"

She met his gaze evenly. "He's relieved. And he's glad we're safe. And he's staying in La Push."

"What?" Seth leapt up. "He's staying? What do you mean he's staying? He won't be able to phase if he's not near the vampires."

Leah looked at her brother with a ghost of a smile. "They had a meeting after we spoke the other day. They talked about possible outcomes, and this was one of them. Most of the pack agreed that they should stay in La Push, lead their lives as normal, and be present in case the danger ever returns. Sam feels that it's best… that _was_ what we were created for, after all. To protect La Push."

Jacob could tell that Leah was not at all sorry about Sam's decision not to follow them. "You said 'most of the pack'. What about the others?"

"Embry." Jacob felt his spirits lift for what must have been the millionth time that day. He still missed his old friends, whom he'd had to keep at a distance since the packs had split. Of course, Quil would never leave, not when Claire was back in La Push. From the sounds of things, the imprint eased up after the transformations stopped, but not so much that Sam didn't still recognize Emily as his soul mate. Jacob knew that Quil's life would still revolve around little Claire, in the same way that his own life would always revolve around Renesmee. But Embry… Jacob swallowed around a lump in his throat. He wanted his friend back. Leah was clearly aware of this. She grinned, looking more wolf than girl for a brief moment. "Sam wasn't too thrilled… it seems he took off some time ago. He's not sure where to… but I'm pretty sure I can guess at that."

Leah's guess had been correct, of course. It was a day and a half before Embry made it to the Cullen property, reacting in pretty much the same way as Leah and Seth had to the sudden proximity of the vampire coven. Jacob and his pack phased to greet him, and were surprised to find a new but familiar voice in their heads when they did.

_Guess that seals the deal, _Jacob thought cheerfully, _from now on, we run together._

_Jake._ Embry nosed his pack leader gently. His head was lowered, as if ashamed. _I'm sorry. This is the way it always should have been. I can't believe we never saw it._

_Don't,_ Jacob thought in return. He opened his mind, letting all of his joy at Embry's joining his pack spill out. _I'm glad you're with us now._

Seth lumbered over and bumped against Embry in a friendly bodycheck. The four wolves stood outside Jacob's house, mentally catching up. Finally, as the sun was starting to lower, Seth turned towards the door of the small house. Then he looked behind him at the three enormous wolves and snickered.

_Well, it's good you're glad, Jake, because considering the size of your house, we're all about to be REAL cozy._

Leah snorted as she paced past her brother. _You boys can have the lawn… I'll take the bed._

~~~~~The Present~~~~

Jacob shook off the haze of his memories. How long had he been standing there, at the top of the staircase, thinking about his pack? He sighed quietly. Leah, Seth and Embry weren't going to be here with him this time. They were staying with the Cullens in upstate, and would visit on occasion, but they wouldn't be together on a regular basis, and that made Jacob antsy. As happy as he was that it was just him and Renesmee now, he couldn't help but feel a slight ache and a twinge of guilt at the thought that once again, he'd left his pack behind. He started back downstairs.

Edward and Bella were seated at the piano, her head resting on his shoulder. Jacob didn't think they'd seen him on the staircase. Edward was running his fingers over the keys but not playing, saying a word or two now and then. Bella looked upset, and like she was concentrating very carefully on something. From the looks of things, Edward was replying to her thoughts. Jacob felt bad for eavesdropping, but that wasn't going to stop him.

"Try not to think about it," Edward said very quietly. "I know you do." A long pause. "No you won't, Bella." Jacob couldn't figure out what they were discussing. "He's trying." Edward shook his head. "I don't think we have to worry about that." Ah. So they were talking about him. Him and Nessie. Jacob frowned and kept listening. "Just hold on, Bella. A little longer, and then we'll go." He watched as Edward shot his wife a look he'd never seen before. Upset, and a little bit… Jacob straightened up. Was Edward Cullen _frightened_? "I'm right here," he said soothingly. It sounded a little forced. "If you get anywhere near him, I'll stop you."

Jacob froze. Edward couldn't mean what he thought he meant. Bella would never hurt him, Jacob was sure of that. She was his best friend, she had been for so long… she wasn't capable of it. _Are you positive?_ that same nagging voice said in the back of his mind. Great… now he had voices in his head. He was turning into Edward.

Why was Bella thinking about hurting him, Jacob wondered. He knew she disapproved of him and Renesmee living together, and he knew why… but surely she knew she could trust him more than that? One thing was for sure: If Bella wanted to hurt him, then he was dead. He wouldn't be able to fight her, not Bella. Jacob knew he would never be able to live with himself if he did. If they fought, he would die.

Edward suddenly straightened, as if he'd caught a scent. And then he turned rapidly, leaping to his feet, and suddenly his eyes were boring into Jacob's. Bella took a moment to catch on. "Jacob…" Edward began.

"Oh god," Bella moaned. "You heard us."

Jacob couldn't move. All of his senses were heightened; he could hear the central air as it whirred quietly in the ducts, he could hear the creaks and groans of the old building, the metal-on-metal slide of the elevator. He felt himself begin to tremble.


	6. Six Weeks Ago

_A/N: I know you're all anxious to see if Bella will murder Jacob or not… but you're just gonna have to wait! Instead, you get a flaskback! But not just any flashback… a Cullen family ensemble cast flashback. My favorite scenes are the ones with all the Cullen family members, so I really enjoyed writing this. Hope you enjoy reading it, too!_

_Please review… I'd love to hear from you!_

_~Crit._

**Chapter 6: Six Weeks Ago**

"Can't we just do this quietly?" Renesmee asked plaintively, dragging her heels as she followed her parents up to the main house at human speed.

"Would you prefer it if nobody in this family was the least bit concerned for your welfare?" Edward couldn't help being just the tiniest bit irritated with his daughter. The entire family was doing their best to accommodate her, and she seemed to do nothing but complain about their attention. "Not everything can be on your terms, Renesmee. We're going to help you to get what you want, but there needs to be compromise on your part as well."

Renesmee seemed to take the reprimand to heart, but Edward could hear from her thoughts that she was still deeply unimpressed with the situation. "I just don't see why we have to have a senate meeting over it," she said sullenly. Her mother shot her a look. "What, would you prefer 'House of Commons'?"

"We are your family, Renesmee, not a governing body." Edward could tell from her voice that Bella was losing control of her irritation as well.

"Could have fooled me."

When they got to the house, the rest of the family was already seated around the table. Edward took a seat at the foot of the table. Renesmee sat down next to him, flanked on the other side by Bella. Carlisle looked down from the head of the table with a smile.

"We all know why we're here," he said mildly. Something unreadable passed over his face. "One of us has decided to leave."

Edward shot Renesmee a look before she could retort, and she clamped her mouth shut. Carlisle continued.

"Renesmee, I know the reasons for your leaving, and I know that you only intend to be gone a short while. This whole family supports you in your decision." Edward watched as his daughter looked around the table at their family, one by one, and took in their expressions. Esme, beside Carlisle, with her subtle, knowing smile. Alice, looking slightly uneasy, probably because she couldn't see what was likely to happen to her niece once she left. Jasper looked at her supportively, but it seemed a little strained, probably because he was sitting next to Bella, who was still pretty upset over the whole ordeal. On Edward's other side sat Rosalie and Emmett. Rose looked unimpressed, but Edward knew that in the end, she'd never begrudge her niece anything. Emmett was smiling at Renesmee, commiserating. "Except for your mother, we've all been living this life for so long that sometimes it's hard to remember what it feels like to be human. We can't teach you those things, not properly. And if you feel the need to learn them, then you should be free to go." Carlisle smiled at his granddaughter, who was watching him with a slack-jawed, incredulous expression on her face. "But."

"Again with the buts," Renesmee muttered before Edward had a chance to catch the thought and silence her. Emmett chuckled, and Rose glared at him. Carlisle just nodded.

"This is a family, Renesmee. And we're_ not_ a human family… we are vampire. When one of us has a need, all of us have a need, and we will endeavor to find the most appropriate solution through earnest and open counsel." Carlisle's expression was still kind, but hopelessly firm, and Edward silently cheered his adoptive father. There would be plenty of time for Renesmee to do things the human way—the private, lonely way— later, if that was what she wanted, but for now, they would handle the situation the same way they always did, together. Edward watched as Carlisle looked around the table at their family. "Who would like to begin?"

"I'll begin." Edward's head snapped towards his wife, who was looking very seriously at their daughter. "I'll start with the very least of my concerns. I don't like the idea of you moving to an unknown city with no purpose or direction. You want to feel human, Renesmee? I have the same concern that any human mother would for a child in this situation: what exactly do you intend to _do_ while you're there? Are you planning to work, get a job, study, what? I'd hate to think you plan to just spend time and money _hanging out_."

Renesmee looked at her mother incredulously. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, mom." Bella looked at her pointedly, not taking the bait. Renesmee sighed. "Fine. I haven't got an exact plan, yet. I didn't even think I'd be able to go until just a couple weeks ago. But I've got some ideas. I'd like to do something where I can meet people, make some friends. Maybe more school, or I could try to get a job at a museum or maybe one of the galleries…"

Bella looked mildly relieved. Carlisle and Esme were beaming. "I have some connections at NYU, if it's study you decide on," Carlisle said helpfully. "Bella, does that settle that matter?" Bella nodded. Edward could tell she hadn't nearly said her peace, but she would wait. Carlisle looked around the table once more. "Anyone care to go next?"

Rose. Of course. "I don't like it," she said firmly. "It's dangerous." Renesmee shot her aunt a withering look, the only effect of which was Emmett guffawing loudly.

"Look, Rose," He said, clapping his wife on the back, "You've got a doppleganger!" She rounded on him with a much more lethal version of the same expression, and then turned back to the group at large.

"Renesmee, we've managed to keep you from danger for over seventeen years. Nobody has come after you since just after you were born. That doesn't mean they won't. It just means that they haven't yet."

"I don't see anything involving the Volturi," Alice intervened. "And I don't see any fallout from an attack on Renesmee when she's by herself, either. But I have to say, it makes me uneasy as well." She turned to Renesmee with a pleading expression. "I'm sorry, Nessie, but you know I can't see you at all. It worries me that I won't be able to check up on you."

"If we were a human family—" Renesmee began. Edward cut her off.

"We're not."

"But _if_ we were…" Renesmee insisted. _Just listen for a minute, okay?_ She thought clearly. Edward backed off. "If we were, I'd be leaving the house at this age anyhow. And Alice most likely wouldn't be able to see anyone at all, not just me. The world is full of dangers for humans… us, for one. And they still let their children leave home when they get old enough." Renesmee was trying really hard to reason out her argument. "At least, in this case, I have a bit of an added advantage. My skin is almost as impermeable as all of yours… I'm fast, and I'm strong. And I can fight. The human world isn't really all that dangerous for someone like me."

"Humans are ignorant of the dangers this world posseses," Esme said gently. "If they knew about all of the things out there that could harm them, they might not ever let their children leave home at all."

"But Gramma—"

"Sweetie, I know you have to do this, but I think—we all think—that you would be safer if you had someone with you."

Renesmee looked around the table sullenly. "So, what, my chance at a normal human existence involves a refrigerator full of chilled blood for whichever of you gets to chaperone me?" She shook her head. "You know what? Just forget it. You guys win… I'll just stay here forever."

Jasper, who until this point had been silent, finally spoke up. "Renesmee, you could at least attempt to be open to this discussion," he said. "We're only trying to think of a solution that everybody can live with." He found her eyes and held her gaze steadily. "You could try to think of one yourself. How about you suggest some ideas that you can live with, and we talk it out?"

Renesmee narrowed her eyes, thinking. "Okay… give me a minute." Eight pairs of amber eyes stared at her, unblinking. "Could you maybe… not stare at me? I'm starting to feel like I'm about to be dinner." There was a chuckle from Emmett, and Bella made a small exasperated noise.

"You need to spend less time around that dog of yours," Rose said testily. "You're starting to adopt his sense of humour, and it's less than flattering."

Edward heard Renesmee's sudden thought before she voiced it.

"I don't think so," he said loudly at the exact moment that his daughter cried out, "Jacob!"

"What?" Both Bella and Rosalie were gripping the table tightly. Renesmee wore a triumphant expression. Carlisle, Esme and Jasper looked pleased. Despite his initial reaction, Edward began to see the potential benefits of the idea.

Renesmee was out of her seat, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet as she leaned over the table and animatedly explained her newly-formed plan to her family. "Jacob can come with me! He's plenty strong enough to protect me, his senses are better than mine, and he can keep in touch with the pack just by phasing. If it's a vampire that's after me, he'd be the best chance at keeping me safe… even better than any one of you." She looked rapidly between her parents. "You've always trusted Jake to look after me… why not now? Think about it… it's the perfect plan!" Now she looked directly at Edward, grabbing his arm tightly. Her eyes were wide and pleading. "Please, dad? Please, can it be Jake who comes with me?"

Edward knew then that it was really the only option Renesmee was likely to accept. He also knew that he couldn't tell her yes, not right there and then. "Your mother and I will have to discuss it," he said tersely, eyeing Bella past his daughter's shoulder. Renesmee turned on her mother.

"Mo-o-om…" She wheedled. Bella still had her eyes locked on Edward's, and she dropped her mental shield.

_I hate this idea, Edward, _she thought clearly and distinctly. _But she's already made up her mind._

"I know," Edward replied. Renesmee groaned.

"I _hate_ it when you talk about me right in front of my face," she said. Her parents ignored her. The rest of the family was busy trying to decipher Bella's side of the conversation.

_Realistically, he'd never let her go without him anyway. If he's going to tag along after her, she might as well know he's there. And he'd never let anything happen to her…_ Bella stopped her mental rambling. _I suppose the good probably outweighs the bad. I just don't know if I'm ready for this yet._

"Neither do I." Edward grimaced. "But you have to admit…"

_I know… I think it may be the only way. _Edward nodded, and he immediately felt Bella's mental shield go back up.

"Carlisle," she said slowly, "What do you think of Jacob accompanying Renesmee?"

Carlisle grinned down the table at them. "I think that, if you and Edward are happy with the idea, it would be the most appropriate solution. As Renesmee has pointed out, Jacob is more than capable of protecting her. Of course, this is assuming he is willing to go."

"He will be," Renesmee interrupted.

Carlisle paid her no heed, simply continuing. "If he is willing to leave the pack for an extended period of time, I believe he would be a good choice to accompany Renesmee."

Renesmee made a small, triumphant sound. "Can he really come with me? Mom?" Bella rolled her eyes.

"I agree with Carlisle," she said flatly. Renesmee turned to Edward.

"Dad?"

"I agree with your mother."

The family meeting had stretched on for a while longer, with topics of discussion ranging from what the protocol would be in the case of an emergency (Flight before fight, contact the family immediately, stay close to Jacob and head for a public place with lots of witnesses) to lodgings and décor. Alice and Esme were already planning an online shopping trip to pick out home furnishings and decorations. When they were done, Renesmee gave them all her earnest thanks, and even apologized for 'acting like a bit of a brat'. Then she tore off in the direction of the pack house, which she could usually reach at a run in about five minutes, to tell Jacob the plan.

Edward could see that another weight had been lifted from his daughter's shoulders. After the initial relief of telling her parents of her desire to leave, Renesmee had spun into another sulk, which there had been no explanation for. Edward could hear what the other members of the family could not, of course, and he quickly figured out that Renesmee was dreading Jacob's reaction to the idea of her moving away. He wouldn't want her to leave, and she clearly didn't want to leave him. Now, as it turned out, she didn't have to. She'd found a way for him to go with her, and not only that but the entire Cullen family had agreed, to varying degrees, that it was the best possible course of action.

Bella and Edward were silent the entire way back to their house. Once they were inside, Bella turned to her husband, and the look on her face made Edward wonder, for a moment, if they _had_ made the right choice.

"I'm not ready for this," she said, repeating her earlier sentiment. "She's so young."

Edward nodded, understanding completely. "I'm not completely comfortable with it either," he confessed. "I hate the thought that I won't be able to hear what he's thinking, and to know what they're up to. But lately it's started to feel…" he paused, feeling silly even saying it, "… to feel like I'm spying on her. And I'm not sure that I'm comfortable with that anymore, either."

Bella closed her eyes and grimaced. "I know. That's why she and I had that deal about me shielding her. But I can't do it all the time. And to be honest… I've been selfish. I want to know what she's up to as much as you do. I can't say that if I had your power I wouldn't be listening to them both just as often as you do." She looked at him with a smile, guilty smile. "I'd probably even do it more."

This made Edward smile just a little. But he quickly sobered, thinking of the subject at hand. "She's become very disciplined with her thoughts lately," he mused. "I know I'm not getting everything from her. She's always controlling what she thinks about around me, parceling off her thoughts into different piles: one for when she's near me, and one for when she's not. I've heard her start to think about things and then shove them aside into what she thinks of as 'far away thoughts'. I assume that means she takes those ideas back out when she's not around me. She generally puts Jacob into that category, although not always."

Bella looked impressed. "She never told me that," she said.

"She's still perfecting her method. From what I can piece together, she plans to share it with the others when she's mastered it. My guess is she doesn't think you need to know, seeing as you already have your own way of keeping your mind private." Edward grinned. "I'd feel betrayed, but frankly I'll be glad if there are some things I never have to hear from my parents or siblings ever again. I'm sure that's part of why she's doing it."

"So what you're saying," Bella said carefully, "Is that you're not sure what her thoughts and feelings about Jacob are." Edward nodded slowly.

"So far, I've only heard innocent things. They're friends… she loves him, of course, as a friend, and she wants to be around him all the time. Anything other than that she either hasn't considered in any huge way, or she's done it when we've been apart." Edward paused, and the added, "Or when you've been shielding her."

Bella nodded. "What about Jacob?" she said. Edward's expression turned sour.

"He's not as in control as she is when it comes to his thoughts. Things pass through his mind before he can distract himself, and sometimes I catch certain things that I'd rather not." He tried hard not to look like he was too disturbed by the idea. "She _has_ been physically mature for almost ten years now, and to Jacob's credit his thoughts have been remarkably mild. When he does think of her as anything other than a friend, he mostly just thinks about how beautiful she is, or how much he cares about her. It's mostly pure, well intentioned."

"You used the word 'mostly' about a dozen times during that description," Bella pointed out. "What about the times when his thoughts are… less than pure?"

Edward winced at the memories. "He's a grown man, Bella," he reminded her. "You've been the object of his affection… use your imagination."

Bella growled. "I don't think you want me to do that," she said testily.

"That's my point."

"Edward, are we really going to send them off together?" She was frowning. "I'm not sure he won't take it as carte blanche to do whatever he pleases with her." Edward could tell that Bella was growing increasingly agitated. "She's not ready. She doesn't even know about the imprint… what will she do when she finds out?"

"I don't know." Edward imagined several possible outcomes. None of them were anything he particularly wanted to think about. "She might try to kill him. But I think it's more likely that she'll—"

"Stop!" Bella was beginning to look a little wild. "That is our _baby_, Edward! I don't even want to imagine him with her!"

"Bella… Jacob loves her. You know that."

"I don't care!" She had begun to pace. "It was easy to deal with when it was a long way off, but now… it's too close. I can hardly stand it, knowing what he wants from her, knowing what he's going to try to…" She trailed off, obviously trying to regain control of her emotions. Edward watched his wife helplessly.

"It has always been inevitable," he said gently. "We knew this time would come eventually… we've had time to prepare."

"I'm _not_ prepared." Bella turned to him, and he was startled by the wild look in her eyes. She looked… thirsty. "I'm afraid, Edward. I know it's not his fault… he can't control it. But when I think of him with her, I want…" She couldn't continue.

"What, Bella?" Edward prompted. "What do you want to do?"

"I want to tear his throat out!" Bella screamed, lunging at her husband and taking him by the arms. "I want to rip into his skin and snap his neck and spread his foul-smelling blood all over the forest! I want to destroy every last piece of him, to make sure he'll never, ever touch her!" Edward let his enraged wife push him to the floor. "I .dead."

"Bella," he said quietly. "You have to control your emotions." After a moment, Bella's grip loosened, and she rolled off of him, sitting beside him on the floor.

"I have been," she replied, shame replacing rage on her pale face. "I think I've been doing well… I haven't lost it until now, and I don't think Renesmee's noticed how upset I am. But Edward, knowing that he's going with her…" She shook her head. "I don't know if I'll be able to keep it up." She looked at him, and Edward could see the utter turmoil playing across her face. "I don't really want to hurt Jacob," she said plaintively. "He's my… my best friend. I just can't control myself when I think about it."

Edward sighed. "She already told him, Bella. She's there right now. They're making plans… the whole family is making plans. You should have said something before."

"I knew how unhappy it would make her if I refused," Bella said weakly. "There's only one solution."

Edward quirked an eyebrow at her. "What's that?"

"You have to keep me away from him." She looked at him pleadingly. "We let them go, if it'll make them happy. But until they're gone, until it's done, I can't be near him. Not without supervision." She turned her head and looked away, ashamed. "I don't know what I'll do if I'm left alone with him."

Edward took a moment to process this. "He'll know there's something going on with you. He's already noticed you being distant."

"It's the only way." Bella's expression was sad as she anticipated her loss. "Renesmee is going to be with Jacob. And I can't be in the middle of that. I need to distance myself from him." Edward took his wife's hands in his, stroking her smooth skin comfortingly.

"You're right," He said soothingly. "That's a very wise decision."

Bella laughed humourlessly. "If this is what being wise feels like, I think I'd rather be foolish."

Edward tilted his head towards the door. "Darling… they're on their way." Bella sighed and rose to her feet, and Edward got up alongside of her.

"We'll start now. Tell them I've gone to take care of some business. Give Jacob my apologies and tell Renesmee I'll see her later." She kissed him briefly before heading for the back door. And then she was gone.

At the sound of voices approaching, Edward turned, readying himself to face his daughter and the man who loved her.


	7. The VampWolf Showdown that Never Was

**A/N:** A not-so-long installment, this time, but I think it's a pretty fun one, and it'll shed some light on a few unresolved issues. This officially marks the point in the story where all the background information is laid down, and we can move on to new, fun stuff =)

As always, I appreciate your feedback! Please review… I'm open to any and all suggestions!

Thanks for reading,

~Crit.

**Chapter 7: The Vampire/Werewolf showdown that never was.**

_**Previously, in Jacob and Nessie's Loft, present –day:**_

_If Bella wanted to hurt him, Jacob thought, then he was dead. Even in wolf form, he wouldn't be able to fight her, not Bella. He knew he would never be able to live with himself if he did. If they fought, he would die._

_Edward suddenly straightened, as if he'd caught a scent. And then he turned rapidly, leaping to his feet, and suddenly his eyes were boring into Jacob's. Bella took a moment to catch on. "Jacob…" Edward began._

"Oh god," Bella moaned. "You heard us."

Jacob couldn't move. All of his senses were heightened; he could hear the central air as it whirred quietly in the ducts, he could hear the creaks and groans of the old building, the metal-on-metal slide of the elevator. He felt himself begin to tremble.

"Jacob, calm down," Edward said firmly. "Get control of yourself." Jacob tried his best to listen to Edward, but it was getting difficult. He didn't want to phase, but his protective instincts were beginning to kick in. He couldn't look away from Bella. She was tense, straight as a metal poker with the effort of staying in place. Edward threw out an arm in front of her, and she gripped it with a force that would have snapped most peoples' bones.

"Jake," she said miserably. "I'm so sorry. I can't help it."

"Why?" he hissed through clenched teeth. He didn't trust himself to open his jaw. "What have I done, Bella? What have I ever done to you?"

"Nothing," she said, still looking as though she was trying very hard not to leap at him. "It's what you're going to do." Her voice was bitter. He could practically hear the venom in it. Jacob realized with a jolt that she was talking about Renesmee.

"I would _never_ hurt her!" He snarled, his skin vibrating dangerously. "You know that, Bella."

Bella looked at him almost pleadingly. Jacob could tell that she was fighting with her very strong vampiric instincts. There they stood, two former best friends, just barely keeping their tenuous holds on the natural compulsions that, were they to succumb, would cause them to attack each other. Edward stood in between them, helplessly, waiting for something to happen.

"I can't help it," Bella gasped. "I'm sorry Jacob. I—I have to go." Edward reached for her, but she threw off his hand. "Stay here. Wait for Renesmee. Tell her I'll be back." She made a dash for the door, throwing one last look at Jacob over her shoulder before leaving. Edward moved silently to the door and bolted it.

Jacob felt his body calm down as the danger subsided. He turned to Edward, bewildered. "What," he said slowly and clearly, "was that?"

Edward motioned him over to the couch, which Jacob gratefully slumped down on. Edward, of course, did not need to sit, but he did anyway, whether out of habit or solidarity Jacob was not sure. "Jacob, Bella has been…" he looked like he was considering his words carefully, "_conflicted_ about your leaving with Renesmee these past few months. Her rational, humane side recognizes that this is the best course of action, and that your being with our daughter is inevitable. But she is a vampire. And in that, she has no more control over her instincts than an animal. Renesmee is her young. We've seen how protective vampires are of their mates throughout the years, but there was no way to predict how a vampire mother would be when protecting her child; there has been no precedent for it. The answer, as it turns out, is what you just saw in Bella." Edward looked disturbed by what he was telling Jacob. Jacob couldn't say he blamed him. "I've spoken privately with Carlisle about it. He seems to think that Bella's objection to you and Renesmee is so strong because you are of a rival species. Her first instinct, upon Renesmee being physically threatened by you, is to destroy you." Edward's look was apologetic.

"Wow," Jacob replied, "thanks for putting it nicely."

"That _was_ putting it nicely, Jacob."

"Oh." Jacob felt completely and totally disoriented. This certainly explained why Bella had been acting so distant lately… she'd been trying not to kill him. He tried to think of when Bella had started acting that way, but he honestly couldn't. Most of the time, his attention was focused on Renesmee. "How long has she been feeling this way?" He said, running one hand through his shaggy hair. He was sweating. He hadn't even realized.

"Only since it was decided that you would be moving in here, with Renesmee." Edward looked grim. "Despite my reassurances, and yours, she seems to think that you two are going to take your relationship to a different place while you're living here. And the thought of it has kicked her instincts into high gear. I won't lie to you, Jacob… some of the things she's said would probably make you think twice about being a part of this family."

Jacob really didn't want to know. "What do I have to do?" he asked, for once letting go of his pride and turning to Edward for help. "I want to know how to fix this."

Edward had no immediate reply. Jacob hadn't really expected that he would. They sat in contemplative silence for a while before Edward replied. "I'm not sure you can. For now, I would say that it's wisest to simply attempt to control yourself around Renesmee. The deal we made still stands. Of course, now that you know the whole story I'm sure you're more likely to hold up your end of the bargain." Jacob nodded vehemently. "It is my hope that, when you and Renesmee do embark upon a romantic relationship, Bella's instincts will change. But it may take time. Vampire instincts are very strong, very primal… you of all people should understand how that works." Jacob thought about the pull of the wolf, about his time in the woods of Canada, when he'd lived entirely on instinct alone. His animal side was powerful, hard to control sometimes. Yes, he thought he could understand.

"I'd never hurt her," he repeated suddenly. Edward looked surprised.

"I know that, Jacob. Of all the people I've had to consider protecting Renesmee from, I've never once considered you."

That was something, at least, Jacob thought miserably to himself. He'd never thought that he'd see the day where he and Edward would be on one side, with Bella on the other. Once, she had trusted him with Renesmee's life. He felt the loss of her trust like a gigantic wound, one that his healing powers couldn't close over quite so quickly.

"She wants to trust you," Edward said, replying to his thoughts. "Her instincts are simply too strong. But Bella, the person she is beneath those instincts… she has always trusted you, Jacob. She always will."

"Doesn't make it any easier," Jacob said, shaking his head.

"I know." Edward's shoulders actually slumped. "It hasn't been easy for me either. I'm glad that you know. I should have spoken to you about this long ago." He looked up at Jacob, and there was something akin to sympathy in his golden eyes. "Please don't blame Bella. She feels badly enough." There was the distinctive sound of a key turning in the lock, and then the door rattled against the deadbolt.

"Hey!" Renesmee's voice sounded faintly from the other side of the door. "Let us in!" Edward was at the door in a second, sliding the bolt open. "Why'd you lock us out?" Renesmee said jokingly. "Thought you'd keep the place yourself, once you saw how nice it was?"

"That's right," Edward replied fondly, clearly not intending to offer any real explanation.

Renesmee's upper half was completely hidden behind the stack of boxes she was carrying. Behind her, Emmett had a stack that was almost as tall as he was, all of the boxes labeled 'Books'. Jacob snickered at that; if they were trying to keep a low profile by acting human, attempting to set a Guinness record for heavy lifting wasn't a very practical start. "Hey, we ran into Mom downstairs… she said you're heading out?" Renesmee ended her sentence with a huff as she set her pile of boxes down.

"We are." Edward hadn't missed a beat. Jacob wondered if he was really that smooth, or if he had picked the altered plan out of somebody's head. Probably a bit of both.

"So soon?" Renesmee looked a bit disappointed. Jacob wondered how she'd feel if she knew the real reason for her parents' sudden departure. He wasn't sure he wanted to know whose side she'd be on. He watched silently as Edward put a hand on her shoulder.

"We should really be heading back. Your mother and I didn't go hunting with you last night… she's hungry, and this city is so full of humans. Your Uncle will help you get settled before driving the van back."

"Yeah," Emmett piped up. "I think that's a good idea… Jake's gonna need a hand breaking in that big screen."

Renesmee smirked at her uncle. "Find your own friends, will you?"

"Aw, don't be jealous, Nessie… I'll give him back in one piece." Jacob had to chuckle at Emmett's wide grin. There was nothing the guy enjoyed more than teasing his niece, except for maybe taking down a bear or two.

Renesmee eyed her uncle carefully. "You'd better," she said lethally. "I won't have you two sparring in my house." Emmett shot Jacob a look that clearly read, _I'm game if you are_. Jacob shook his head.

"Sorry man… Nessie's place, Nessie's rules."

"Well, now that order has been established, I think I'd best be going," Edward said, clearly amused by the banter between the three of them. "I believe Bella's waiting for me." He embraced his daughter, kissing her gently on the cheek.

"I'll miss you, Dad," Renesmee said, sounding suddenly much younger than her advanced mental age… younger, even, than her physical age of seventeen.

"I love you, Darling." Edward's whisper was barely audible. "Take good care of yourself, and stay safe." He stepped back and gave her a pointed look. "That means cooperating with Jacob, where your well-being is concerned."

"Only if he cooperates with me," Renesmee responded hard-headedly. She shot him a look over Edward's shoulder. Jacob rolled his eyes.

"As if I could avoid it."

Emmett's low chuckle broke through their banter. "Alright, Nessie, let your Dad get out the door," the big vampire said jovially. He turned to his adoptive brother. "I'll be following you guys in a little while." Edward nodded and made his way out the door.

It was past midnight by the time Emmett made his way back to the van start the return trip upstate. True to his word, the vampire had set up shop right in front of the flat screen, clicking through the hundreds of global sports channels until he found a game worth watching. Jacob joined him, happy for once to not have to share his bag of microwave popcorn with three starving wolves. Nessie went in and out of the room between putting away all of her own things, and eventually ended up staying until the game was over. They watched a couple old episodes of Seinfeld at Renesmee's insistence ("Don't you want to know how _real_ New Yorkers act?"), and then Emmett decided to hit the road. Jacob engaged in a typical masculine shoulder-slapping farewell with the large vampire. He was actually going to miss him. Renesmee was Jacob's best friend in all other things, but as far as sports-viewing partners went, nobody could hold a candle to Emmett.

Jacob watched Renesmee bolt the door firmly behind her uncle. She turned to face him, a huge grin on her face.

"What?" Jacob said curiously. He hadn't thought it was possible, but Renesmee's smile actually got wider.

"We made it," she said victoriously. "We're here. Finally." Her eyes swept quickly over the loft before she crossed her arms over her chest, practically oozing satisfaction. Jacob couldn't help but snicker.

"Could you be any more pleased with yourself?" He said sarcastically. As predicted, she lunged at him with a not-so-gentle punch to the arm. Jacob caught her small fist in his hand on the rebound, stopping a potential second hit.

"Plenty," she retorted, "Just give me a minute to think of how." He still had her tiny, cool hand enclosed in his large, warm one. Jacob knew he had to let go. Nessie was leaning against him. Jacob realized with a sudden jolt that he no longer had to control his thoughts. Edward was halfway across the state. He wasn't sure whether he was relieved or terrified. And now Nessie was looking up at him with those wide, dark eyes.

"Jake?" She said quietly.

"Yeah, Ness?" His voice was a little lower than usual.

"I'm glad you're here with me." She slid her free arm around his waist. "Thanks for coming."

He released her hand and wrapped his arms around her. "Thanks for asking me." Her head was resting on his chest, copper curls nestled just inches from his face. Jacob breathed in her smell surreptitiously, and then let her go. _Just a friendly embrace_, he told himself firmly.

"Oh wow," Renesmee said thickly, fighting a yawn. "I'm actually tired!" Jacob smirked. Unlike her parents, Renesmee needed sleep, but she didn't need as much as the average human. She didn't usually tire out until around three or four in the morning. But then again, it had been a pretty big day.

"We should turn in, then," he said, nudging her towards the stairs. "I could use some rest too. Besides, you've got school tomorrow." She seemed to perk up as she remembered school.

"I really can't wait," she said as she led the way up the stairs. "I know you think I'm a geek, but I'm really excited about studying again. I wonder if there will be any interesting people in my classes."

"I don't think you're a geek," Jacob said defensively. Renesmee just chuckled.

"Well it'd be okay if you did." She turned to look at him as the stopped at the top of the stairs. "I sort of am."

Jacob worked very hard at manufacturing an innocent expression. "Never," he said in an exaggerated voice. His reward was another quick punch to the arm before Renesmee started off down the hall towards her bedroom.

"Whatever… I'm going to bed." She paused at her bedroom door, looking over her shoulder at him. "Goodnight, Jake."

"'Night, Ness." She shut her door with a soft _click_ and Jacob was alone in the hall. He stood there, staring at her door without moving, for a very long time before he was able to go into his own room and go to sleep.


	8. Another First Day

**A/N: **In this chapter: Nessie goes to School!

This chapter marks the introduction of an original character. Renesmee's bound to make friends, and they can't all derive from the source material. Deal with it. Personally, I like him… I think he's cute =) This installment also includes some Canada-lovin'… shout out to all my fellow Canuck readers. Hi guys… make yourselves known!

Those of you who thrive on action and tense situations… sorry. We'll get to that soon enough… hang in there.

As always, please review… and enjoy!

~Crit.

**Chapter 8: Another First Day**

Renesmee was up at dawn, five and a half hours of sleep more than enough to leave her feeling refreshed and ready for the first day of school. She quickly ran through her morning routine of shower, moisturize, brush, floss and blowdry, and then brushed on some subtle makeup as an afterthought. Her curls got pulled back into a neat twist at the base of her neck. Then she headed to her closet/boutique hybrid to pick out an outfit suitable for a brand new Masters student. Renesmee sighed and pulled her robe tighter around herself. She hated to admit it, but Alice had thought of everything. As much as she disliked being her Aunt's own personal dress up doll, she knew that everything in the closet was hand-picked to look stunning on her. Alice had a knack for that sort of thing.

She settled on tailored wool slacks in a rich brown colour and a crisp cream blouse, which she topped with a Kelly green cashmere cardigan. She picked out a pair of ankle boots with a slight heel to pull on later. Then she turned to look at herself in the full-length mirror at the back of the closet, and smiled at her reflection. Very collegiate. On a whim, she reached over and pulled out a pair of thick-framed glasses, placing them on her face. It was almost like looking at a completely different person. Renesmee thought to herself that she looked at least twenty-one with her new, mature wardrobe, tidy hair and completely unnecessary glasses. Maybe she wouldn't stand out so badly in her classes full of adult students.

She had bought her textbooks online weeks before the move, and she was reading one at the kitchen table while enjoying her second enormous cup of coffee when she heard Jacob coming down the stairs. It was hard to decide what she wanted to look at more, the essay that she had been poring over in her text book or her best friend's bare, muscled chest. She opted for the book, figuring it was more appropriate, willing herself to give Jacob a casual smile as he entered the room.

"'Morning," she said, turning the page. "There's still some coffee, if you want it." Jacob, his eyes still foggy with sleep, just stood there looking at her.

"How long have you been up?" he asked, staring. Renesmee suddenly felt self-conscious in her fancy clothes and ridiculous glasses.

"About three hours," she said, not looking up. Her cheeks were burning. She was sure that Jacob was thinking she looked like a little girl right now, playing dress up in a grown woman's closet.

"Huh," he said, pouring himself a coffee and sitting down. "You look really nice," he said offhandedly.

"Oh." Renesmee immediately wished she'd said something more intelligent. "Thanks. It's all Aunt Alice." Jacob grimaced.

"I guess I'm going to have to explore my closet sometime." Renesmee laughed at that and pretended to go back to her reading. She was extremely conscious of Jacob scooping teaspoon after teaspoon of sugar into his coffee before taking a long swig. "God that's good."

"Hawaiian," Renesmee said, taking another sip from her own cup (no sugar… she liked her coffee as bitter as possible). "Want eggs? Grandma Esme sent an entire hen house worth in the car with Emmett."

Jacob looked over at her gratefully. "That is the best news I've heard all day."

"You've only been up ten minutes!"

Jacob ignored her in favor of heading for the fridge. "Should I throw on a couple extra?" Renesmee sneered at the idea.

"No thanks. I'll stick to liquids this morning. I'm going to have to build up the stomach for eggs, I think." Jacob gave her an incredulous look.

"You'll completely drain a coyote, but a little chicken embryo sends you into a panic. I'll never get that."

Renesmee swatted him lightly on the arm. "You don't have to get it. You just have to make sure the steaks in the fridge are marinating by the time I get home from school."

Jacob chuckled. "Yes ma'am." He saluted her rigidly.

"Very impressive, soldier," Renesmee intoned, keeping a straight face. "But I'd prefer 'Oh Captain, my Captain'." Jacob just rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, okay."

Renesmee checked the clock on the microwave. "I'm going to be late if I don't head out soon," She said, gathering her books into her waiting messenger bag. "Have a good day." She couldn't help but reflect upon the pure domesticity of the scenario. It was almost too idyllic, the two of them sipping coffee in their overblown loft, cooking breakfast, wishing each other a pleasant day. Renesmee forced back a chuckle at the thought of Jacob as a nineteen-fifties-style housewife, cooking and cleaning all day while she was off at work.

It wasn't a very long walk to the building her first class was in. Renesmee made a note of all the places she passed that she might want to visit in the future: an ice cream store, a clothing boutique, a small independent gallery, several Starbucks coffee shops. She bought herself another coffee and made a beeline for her class, now in real danger of being late. She wasn't sure how large the class would be, but her major was fairly specialized. She was willing to wager that a latecomer would be noticed.

Fortunately, when she reached the classroom, people were still filing in and chatting to each other. Almost all of the seats were taken; Renesmee surveyed her options with faster-than-human speed. There were five open spots, and she quickly made a list of potential seatmates: A stern-looking older lady sitting on the right and writing left-handed, a slovenly young man whose hair looked like it hadn't been washed recently and probably smelled, a gangly academic type with thick-rimmed glasses, a girl with dark indigo hair and too much eyeliner, another girl with very blonde highlights whose expensive-looking purse and enormous laptop took up at least two thirds of the desk. Renesmee sighed and headed for the tall, nerdy boy's desk.

"Hi," she said tentatively. "Mind if I sit here?" He looked at her, clearly surprised. At what, Renesmee couldn't say. She started to feel extremely self-conscious. Why was he looking at her that way? Did he know what she was?

"Of course!" he said suddenly, and then his expression turned startled. "Wait, not 'of course', as in 'of course I mind you sitting here'. 'Of course' as in 'of course, please sit.' So, um… of course not." He shut his mouth and looked up at her lamely.

Renesmee didn't want to laugh at him, but she couldn't help breaking into a small smile as she sat down. He clearly _didn't_ suspect anything about her… he was just awkward. She mentally cursed her own rampant paranoia. "Thanks," she said, settling into her chair. They shared a quick smile before the young man went back to the page he'd been reading in his textbook.

From the front of the classroom, the course director cleared her throat expectantly. Renesmee suddenly forgot about everything else: her distracted morning with Jacob, her perfect morning walk through their new neighbourhood, her bookish seatmate. She was keyed up, ready to completely immerse herself in the sheer joy of studying. She pushed at her fake glasses, which were slipping down the bridge of her nose, and pulled out her pen and notebook.

"Good morning," The professor, a middle aged woman in a very smart pantsuit said as she stalked around the desk to a large, empty whiteboard on the back wall. "I'm glad to see you all made it. I'm surprised to see such a large turnout… Monday mornings are not particularly close friends with the common grad student." There were a few chuckles at this. "My name," she said, writing rapidly on the board with a green dry-erase marker, "Is Imelda Bruce, and this is ANTH. 5572: The Physical Artifact in Cultural Anthropology."

After that, it was all a blur of note-taking, question answering and discussion. Renesmee got caught up in the whole process, relishing how good it felt to be stretching her mind after so many months of stagnation. Most of the people who spoke up in the class seemed to be well-spoken and clear-headed. She breathed an internal sigh of relief: her first class of the year, and she was already certain it was one she would enjoy.

The two hour lecture finished all too quickly. Renesmee had her schedule committed to memory; she had an hour and a half break, and then another four hours of classes in the afternoon. She gathered her things and slid them into her bag.

"That was a really good lecture," her seat mate mused. She wasn't sure whether or not he was talking to her, he was staring into space, looking thoughtful. "I thought it was good. Did you?"

Renesmee nodded emphatically. "Yeah, I did. She's very good."

"Yeah, Bruce is a bit of a department legend. I'm sort of only taking this course because of her. I don't really need it." He shrugged. "I'm finished this year, and I couldn't bear to graduate without having at least one lecture with her." He looked at her, and she noticed that he looked a bit older than she'd originally thought; maybe early thirties as opposed to late twenties. He had been so awkward and bashful that she'd automatically registered him as younger than her probably was, but now she could see signs of maturity in his face that she hadn't noticed before, and hoped that he wasn't having the same revelation in reverse with regards to her. She also noticed that behind his thick glasses his eyes were very large and very green. "So, what about you? First year in the program?" He asked in a friendly tone. Renesmee nodded.

"Yeah. I'm pretty excited for my other classes… I've got North American Prehistoric Culture this afternoon." His face brightened.

"Really? I took that last year… I'm specializing in North American Prehistory. Do you have David Prott?"

Renesmee wracked her brain. It sounded familiar. "I think so."

"Oh man… Prott's the best. You'll really like him… just make sure you're always on time."

"On time. Got it." They were leaving the lecture hall now. Renesmee's seat mate stopped and turned to her.

"I'm heading down the street for a coffee… I couldn't help but notice how attached you were to that Starbucks cup earlier. Can I interest you in another?"

Renesmee was pleased and surprised. She'd barely spoken to him, and he was inviting her for a coffee. Meaning he wanted to spend time with her. Meaning maybe she'd already found a friend. "Sure. I'm always up for coffee."

They strolled through the hall towards the exit side by side. Renesmee realized with a start that she hadn't even introduced herself. _Renesmee Cullen, socially inept, half-human moron_, she thought before extending a hand and saying, "I'm Ness, by the way."

"It's nice to meet you, Ness." He shook her hand firmly. "I'm Rideau."

She couldn't help it; a quick, derisive snort of laughter escaped her before she could realize it was happening. "_Reedo_?" She said incredulously. Almost as soon as she'd said it she began to feel immeasurably awful. She'd made a friend, and within two minutes had insulted his name and laughed in his face. _Nessie, you're such a creep,_ she thought to herself. She snuck a look at him, to see if he was horrified by her behavior.

He was just rolling his eyes at her with an indulgent smile, giving her the impression that maybe this sort of thing happened to him a lot.

"Rideau with an E-A-U, like the canal." His smile looked a bit like a grimace. "It's French," he said dully. Now Renesmee laughed right out loud, seeing a chance to redeem herself.

"That's not so bad," She said, and the she leaned into him slightly, lowering her voice. "I'll tell you something that'll make you feel better, but you have to keep it a secret."

"Okay," Rideau said in a stage whisper, playing along, "I promise. What is it?"

"My name's not really Ness," she said, and then she looked at him very seriously. "It's Renesmee."

"Ruh-_nez_-may?" He sounded it out slowly, making a face like he was tasting something strange and not entirely pleasant. "Yikes."

"Tell me about it." She rolled her eyes. "I'd take the canal any day."

Rideau laughed. "I don't actually mind it. It's in Ottawa, by the Canadian parliament buildings… I think my parents were trying to be patriotic."

"You're Canadian?" Renesmee asked excitedly. "My family just moved to Upstate from St. John's."

Rideau gave her a huge grin. "Ahh… so you're a Newfie." He shook his head. "I should have known. There's always something wrong with the cute ones." He was clearly joking. Renesmee decided to ignore the fact that he'd called her cute.

"Sadly, No. I'm from Washington state. I wish I was, though… Newfies are always a fun crowd." She thought distractedly of Emmett, who had been so delighted to discover the hard-partying, fun-loving ways of the locals in their last place of residence. "And not dumb at all," she added in a scolding tone.

"I'll believe when I see it," said Rideau laughingly. Renesmee laughed along with him.

"What about you… where're you from?" she asked as they entered the coffee shop. Rideau examined the posted menu as he answered.

"Northern Ontario… a town called Temagami. My father is a biologist, and he moved up there with my mother when my older brother was two. It was supposed to last six months, but they fell in love with the place and ended up staying." He turned to the cashier. "Venti Cappuccino, dry please and…" he gestured to Renesmee.

"Oh! Um, a Venti Americano. Thanks." She pulled a five dollar bill out of her wallet, but Rideau waved it away.

"My treat. I insist." Renesmee opened her mouth to protest, but Rideau just shook his head. "Don't worry… you can bring me one next Monday morning."

"Okay," Renesmee put her money away. She wondered if Rideau still would have bought her coffee if he'd known how much her outfit cost.

They got their drinks and sat down. "So," Rideau said conversationally, "What made your family decide to move back below the 49th?" Renesmee was thankful to be halfway through a sip of her coffee… it gave her more time to piece together a plausible answer. She went for a half-truth.

"We're a pretty tight-knit family, and my, uh, brothers and sisters are probably going to want to visit me here in the city fairly often. With the way the borders are these days, they figured it would be easier just to move Upstate."

"Wow… you _must_ be close if they're willing to buy a new house just to be nearby for visits."

Renesmee felt a bit uncomfortable. It was hard for her to remember that her family's wealth and ease of living was uncommon. "Well, we already had the house. My parents own a lot of property, and we never stay in one place for long."

Rideau seemed to accept this explanation. "So, how many brothers and sisters do you have?"

_None_. "Six."

"_Six_?!" Rideau's eyes were wide. "Wow. Your parents are brave people," he said.

"Braver than you think," Renesmee said, thinking of both Carlisle and Esme and her real parents. At his curious look, she explained, "we're all adopted."

"Wow. So basically, your parents are Brangelina, right?"

Renesmee laughed. "Basically. Only better looking."

"They must be fascinating people," Rideau said, admiration clear in his voice.

"You can't even imagine," Renesmee said with a wry smirk.

Rideau shook his head. "You're probably right."

They talked about family and places they'd lived for a good long time, until it was finally time for Renesmee to head to her next class. Before she left, they exchanged cell phone numbers, and after promising to meet up later in the week for another coffee, they went their separate ways, Renesmee with a huge smile on her face at having made a real, honest-to-god Human friend at last.

oooOOOooo

"Hi!" Renesmee called out as she shut the door to the loft behind her.

"Hey Nessie!" Jacob's voice echoed through the wide open space of the loft before he came into view. When he did, it was by dropping himself over the railing, landing hard on his feet in the middle of the main room. Renesmee snickered; clearly, her mother's admonition about using the stairs hadn't gotten through to Jacob, either. Then she took in the sight of him, and found herself laughing for yet another reason.

"Have you even gotten dressed today?" She chided, walking over to him and lightly snapping the waistband of his trackpants. Jacob yelped and jumped back as the elastic waist hit his skin.

"I _am_ dressed!" he said in a mock-defensive tone. Renesmee rolled her eyes.

"You're La Push dressed… Cullen compound dressed. You are _not_ New York dressed."

"You sound suspiciously like a certain tiny, bloodsucking thorn in my side," Jacob said, flopping backwards onto one of the couches, "and therefore, I am chosing to ignore you." Renesmee smirked.

"Yeah. _That'll_ last." She strode into the kitchen, opening the fridge and noting with satisfaction that the steaks were marinating in a large corningware dish. She pulled them out and set about readying the indoor grill. "I'm famished… are you ready to eat?" Jacob's response was a low-pitched growl. "Ok, dumb question. Potatoes? I'm thinking yes."

"_Yes_." Renesmee pulled out four potatoes (one for herself, two for Jake, one for hashbrowns in the morning) some oil and the tin foil, and started wrapping.

Some forty minutes later, their small kitchen table was spread with a small feast of red meat and carbohydrates. Renesmee put her hands on her hips and grinned proudly. "Not too shabby, all things considered," she said. Jacob, who was already splitting open his potato and slathering it in butter, paused to give her a thumbs up.

"My compliments to the chef," he said, making the first cut into his steak. Renesmee grabbed her steak knife and took a small piece of her own steak into her mouth, chewing slowly. She sighed around her food, which was admittedly quite delicious. Eating wasn't so bad, once you got past the disturbing range of textures. At first, her parents had tried really hard to give her a balanced diet, but eventually she proved so difficult about eating human food, and gave such convincing arguments as to why she should be allowed to dine with her family, that they'd caved in and let her hunt with them instead more often than not. The result was that she preferred to avoid non-liquid foods, except when present company made it impossible or difficult. But now she was living a mostly-human life, and she thought she'd better start eating as such. Renesmee made a conscious note to try eating a more diverse selection of foods. She was sure that, in time, she'd get over her squeamishness. It would just take a little work.

She realized with a jolt that Jacob had been talking to her, and now he was looking at her with a fond, amused expression, waving a hand in front of her eyes. "Sorry," she said, "Just spaced out for a minute." Jacob rolled his eyes.

"No kidding. What's going on in there?" He said, reaching across their small feast and tapped her lightly on her forehead. Renesmee cracked a smile.

"Just thinking about food," she said, taking another, much larger, bite of steak. Jacob's laugh was loud and enthusiastic.

"Now you're speaking my language," He said around a mouthful of potato. "God this is delicious."

"It's not bad," Renesmee said. She almost reached for the sour cream, and then thought better of it. _Baby steps_, she mentally reminded herself.

"So, how was school?" Jacob asked casually. Renesmee brightened.

"It was fantastic! My lectures were great, and the profs all seem really knowledgeable. Nobody seemed to notice my age, so I think I must've fit in pretty convincingly. And I made a friend." At that, Jacob looked over at her with an almost goofy grin.

"See, I told you people'd love you! What's she like?"

Renesmee snickered into her glass of water. "She is a very nice _BOY_ named Rideau," she said mockingly. "We had Physical Artifacts together."

Jacob's expression had gone completely blank. "You had _what_ with this boy?"

Renesmee rolled her eyes. "Physical Artifacts in Cultural Anthropology. It's my first class, Jake. I sat next to him, we chatted a bit before class, and then we went and got coffee. He's really nice, and I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm totally normal. Anyway, he seemed to like me, which is what friends are supposed to do, right?"

"Of course he likes you," Jacob retorted, and it didn't exactly sound like a compliment. Renesmee furrowed her brow and fixed her friend with a searching look.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She said, suddenly feeling a bit miffed at Jacob. "The way you're acting, you'd think it's a crime for someone to be friendly towards me."

Jacob let out a loud breath that was almost a sigh and set his fork down, a first for him, considering the amount of food left on his plate. "Look, Nessie… you've gotta be careful making friends with guys here. These New York guys, they're different than most of the men you've met in your life…"

"If by that, you mean I'm related to most of the men I've met in my life, then yeah, you're probably right."

Jacob shook his head. "Look, I know you're not completely without experience where guys are concerned—"

"Gee, thanks."

"—but this is a whole different world. I just want you to be careful… you're a really, um, attractive girl, and I know the way guys minds work." He shrugged. "I don't want to have to break any skulls. Too messy."

Renesmee felt herself ease up at Jacob's joke, and she could tell that he'd picked up on her defensive attitude and decided to back off. That was one of the things she liked most about her best friend: he had a way of figuring out when she'd gone on point and course-correcting so as to steer them away from unpleasant territory. She knew she could be emotional and irrational sometimes, and wondered if Jacob ever felt like he was working for the bomb squad when he dealt with her moods. But the fact remained that, in this case, she was totally justified in feeling a bit put out. She decided she needed to spell things out for Jacob before they were done with this line of discussion.

"Look, Jake," she said, staring him straight in the eyes, "I know all about how boys think. I've spent enough time around you and the wolves and my uncles to have it at least partially figured out. And seriously? I can handle myself. Besides, not every guy is just looking to bang as many women as he can," Jacob flinched visibly at her use of the word 'bang'. She gave him her most charming smile. "I know you're just trying to look out for me. But this guy is really nice, and we have a lot in common. We talked about school stuff, and our families. He's the first human friend I've made in a long time, maybe _ever_, who I could actually have a real, intelligent conversation with about stuff I'm interested in. And besides, I'm sure he's not interested in me in _that_ way. He wasn't hitting on me, or acting weird and sweaty and twitchy. He was just nice. Boys and girls _can_ be friends without having sex with each other all the time." She raised an eyebrow at him and gestured between them. "Case in point."

"That's…" Jacob paused and found a spot on the table that was evidently very interesting, "That's very true." He looked back up at her and smiled, that big goofy wolf-grin that sometimes made Renesmee's heart turn over in a warm, happy way. "So," he said in a tone that clearly indicated they were putting the topic to rest, "What's the plan for tomorrow?"

They ate the rest of their dinner while engaging in companionable, happy chatter, making plans for some shopping and exploring in between Renesmee's morning and nighttime classes. By the time they had the dishes washed and put away, the conversation was all but forgotten.

For the time being, anyway.

**In the next Chapter:**

"_Okay, now we have to try something I want to do," he said. Renesmee caught sight of his mischievous expression and looked suddenly leery. _

_"Oh—kay," she said slowly, "What is it?" Jacob took her hand in his and pulled her along the sidewalk._

_"This," he said, coming to a stop. Renesmee's eyes went as round as dinner plates._

_"Nope," she said firmly. "Nuh-uh, No way."_


	9. Anger Management

**A/N: **Sorry about the wait, guys… I had a really tough week: work drama, friend drama, you name it… and then, as the cherry on top of the crap cake, my apartment almost went up in flames a couple days ago. So, needless to say, I've been away from my computer a whole lot. BUT, I made some major progress on this story earlier in the week, so I'll be posting a couple times this week to make up for it.

Some stuff's gonna happen in Nessie and Jake's relationship that will change everything. And it's gonna happen _soon_. So stay tuned, and please… review! I see you reading… please tell me what you think!

Enjoy!

~Crit.

**Chapter 9: Anger Management**

Jacob was early to meet Renesmee after her Monday class the following week. He was even dressed in some of his new Alice Cullen clothes, which he had to admit fit like a glove and looked pretty great. There was even a fancy-looking watch, which looked like it had been sized to his over-large wrist. He'd strapped it on after some debate, and was now glad that he had, because it allowed him to periodically check the remaining time until Renesmee would be out of class. She'd perfectly described the forked pathway where she wanted him to meet her, and after locating it easily, Jacob had plopped himself down on one of the large wooden benches to wait.

Finally, it was twelve-thirty, the time Renesmee was due to meet him. He looked up expectantly, first one way and then the other, but of course she wasn't there yet. Jacob sighed heavily and slumped back against the bench. A couple minutes later, he checked his watch, and then again after ten minutes. He frowned. Renesmee was usually very strict about punctuality, to the point where she actually lectured other people about lateness. And here she was, fifteen minutes late for their meeting and counting. Just when he was starting to wonder if he should call her, his phone buzzed with a text message, the dot-dash-dot pattern that was dedicated specifically to his imprint. Jacob released a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding and flipped his phone open.

_Running late… sorry! Grabbing a coffee… anything for you?_ Jacob caught himself smiling down at his phone. Renesmee had a serious fixation on coffee.

_Big and Strong, _he texted back, chuckling to himself. _Thanks!_

Not a moment later, his phone buzzed again. _Super lame,_ read the message, then, _You got it!_

He leaned back again, more relaxed this time. He knew it was silly to worry over fifteen minutes, but he wasn't sure if he'd ever get over his overprotective nature with regards to Renesmee. It was hardwired into his brain to look out for her.

A few minutes later, Jacob felt the familiar and distinctive pull that told him his imprint was near, and sure enough, he looked up to see her familiar form strolling down the path, about fifty feet away, next to… a guy. Tall, long-limbed and gangly, carrying a white and green cup that matched the ones Renesmee carried in either hand. Jacob rose to his feet, subconsciously squaring his shoulders. Renesmee her attention from the man at her side to look at him, then looked down at her full hands, shrugged, and shouted "Hey". She then looked back at the other man, said something brief, and he nodded, shifting his book bag from one shoulder to the other. He turned to walk down one of the converging pathways, but before he did, he placed a hand on Renesmee's forearm and said something that made her grin up at him. Jacob felt his whole body tense as he watched this stranger handling his imprint, and he had to take several deep breaths in quick succession to calm himself down before Renesmee reached where he was standing. He didn't want a repeat of their almost-argument from the previous week, and he knew that Renesmee would be upset if he got territorial. He pasted on his best smile given the circumstances.

"Hi, genius," he said as Renesmee reached him and handed him his coffee. Once she had a free hand, she reached her arm around his waist and gave him a quick hug.

"Lots of sugar," she said, nodding toward the coffee. Jacob took a swig and made an appreciative noise.

"You know what I like," he said. Renesmee chuckled.

"You bet I do." She took a sip of her own drink and said, "So, where first? We've got between now and seven to waste time."

"Oh, we can do loads of damage in that many hours." Jacob offered his arm and they started walking down the path. "I was thinking maybe the Museum of Natural History first. Get you all primed up for those Anthro classes?" Renesmee beamed up at him.

"That's perfect, Jake. I've been itching to go since we got into town. I never get sick of that place. And I'm sure you'll love it." Jacob smiled indulgently. Museums really weren't his thing, but it would be worth it just to see how gung-ho Renesmee got over the place.

"I'm sure." They walked in companionable silence for a while. Finally, Jacob couldn't resist. "That the new friend you were walking with?" He said, trying to make himself sound pleasant while asking. Renesmee nodded into her coffee cup.

"Mmhm, that's Rideau. Sorry we were running late… I told him I had time to walk to the coffee shop with him after class, but the lecture ran a little long, and I didn't want to bail on him."

"Of course not," Jacob said, sounding understanding but feeling like maybe he wanted to break the smug bastard's face. He wondered what Renesmee had told him. _I'm running late to meet my best friend? I'm going out after class with my roommate? Oh, Jacob? He's just a family friend… I've known him my whole life. Yes, I'm free Saturday night! _He shook his head to stop his thoughts from running wild. He was determined not to be angry or jealous today, especially when there was probably no reason to be.

As predicted, Renesmee had run wild in the museum. Jacob had periodically pointed out exactly how dorky she was being, studying all the different artifacts and displays, but in truth he actually found himself getting into it too, his imprint's enthusiasm catching on somewhat as their visit progressed. Renesmee was practically vibrating with excitement by the time the left. Jacob clapped a hand on her shoulder and stopped her at the bottom of the steps.

"Okay, now we have to try something I want to do," he said. Renesmee caught sight of his mischievous expression and looked suddenly leery.

"Oh—kay," she said slowly, "What is it?" Jacob took her hand in his and pulled her along the sidewalk.

"This," he said, coming to a stop in front of a dirty-looking cart with a red and yellow awning. Renesmee's eyes went as round as dinner plates.

"Nope," she said firmly. "Nuh-uh, No _way_."  
"Aw, come on Nessie," Jacob wheedled, "Street meat is an essential part of city living!"

"How would you know?" Renesmee said, looking at the cart and then turning away with a disgusted look. "Ugh, I feel dirty just thinking about it!"

Jacob just shook his head and stepped towards the cart. "Hi," he said, nodding at the vendor, "I'll get two all-beef hot dogs, please." He passed the man a few bills and turned back to Renesmee. "You're gonna love this," he said, practically bouncing with excitement. Renesmee looked like she was trying very hard not to laugh at him. The vendor handed Jacob their hotdogs, and he gave one to Renesmee, chuckling when she made a very unimpressed face. "Come on, dress it up… the condiments are half the fun!"

Renesmee surveyed the collection of sticky squeeze bottles and containers of relish and sauerkraut doubtfully, and finally went for the ketchup, picking it up with the very tips of her fingers and squeezing a minimal amount into the crease between the hotdog and the bun. Jacob loaded his own dog up with nearly all of the toppings, and then tore into it with vigor. Renesmee watched him with her nose wrinkled in distaste before taking a little nibble. Jacob watched her between bites.

"Not so bad, is it?" he said when he'd polished his off. Renesmee had only managed a couple bites.

"The flavour is kind of okay," she admitted reluctantly, "But the texture is absolutely disgusting. How can you stand it?"

Jacob shrugged and took the hotdog from her when she offered it to him. "Years and year of eating really gross food, I guess." He took the hotdog down in two giant bites, greeting Renesmee's disgusted expression with a wide grin. "You can't have twenty dollar steaks every night, you know."

Renesmee shrugged. "I don't think it would be that big of a problem, really, considering the contents of my trust fund." She shot an apologetic look at Jacob. "Sorry, but in this department, I accept my position as a spoiled brat. If I _have_ to eat human food, I can at least eat the good stuff."

Jacob just slung an arm around her shoulders as they strolled down the sidewalk. "Ah, Nessie," he said sagely, "This _is_ the good stuff."

oooOOOooo

Jacob was reclining on their very comfortable new couch when he heard Renesmee's key in the door. It was ten-thirty on the night of their museum visit, and Renesmee had been at a class since quarter to seven, when he'd dropped her back at the Anthropology building. Jacob had done a whole lot of nothing since then, aside from getting himself another couple helpings of street meat (Renesmee would be severely grossed out, but Jacob figured it wouldn't kill her if she never found out about it). Jacob was about to get up to greet his imprint when, to his surprise, he heard not one but two voices on the other side of the door. He immediately went on guard, leaping to his feet and standing squarely to face the door.

"Oh, hi Jake!" Renesmee said as she came through the entryway. Behind her came a tall, lanky man, about two heads taller than her but nowhere near Jacob's height. He had dark brown hair, glasses, and wore plain slacks, a black pea coat and a warm, stylish scarf. It was the same guy from earlier in the day… the new friend. Jacob had to bite back a growl as he responded.

"Nessie," he said in a low voice, "You didn't tell me you were bringing home company." Renesmee gave him a quick, odd look and then turned to the new guy.

"I didn't really know until just now… Rideau offered to walk me home, since it's so late, and so I offered to make him a cup of tea before he heads back. It's chilly out there!" Renesmee made a big show of rubbing her hands together as she said this. Jacob sniffed; he knew very well that it would take a much larger drop in temperature for Renesmee to even notice the cold. She was clearly going to a lot of trouble to act human for this boy.

The boy in question stepped forward and offered his hand, after he'd taken off his coat and hung it on the coat rack. "Hi," He said in an overly-friendly tone, "I'm Rideau. You must be Jacob… Ness has told me lots about you. It's nice to meet you face-to-face."

Jacob reluctantly took the man's hand and shook, maybe a little too hard. From this close range, he was able to inspect his adversary more carefully, and what he saw didn't exactly thrill him. Rideau, as it turned out, looked to be in his early mid-thirties, probably around the same age as Jacob, although obviously Jacob looked younger than his thirty-four years. He was bookish but handsome, and when he met Jacob's eyes the wolf saw a certain level of confidence and self-assuredness that made him want to rearrange the little jerk's face. He released Rideau's hand and ground out a quick, "You too."

Nessie was blissfully oblivious to their tense exchange, and set about bustling around in the kitchen, putting the kettle on and getting out cups. "Joining us for tea, Jake?" She called over her shoulder. Jacob thought that tea with Mr. Scholarly Fancy-Jacket was about the last thing he'd choose to be doing if he had any say in the matter, but there was no way he was about to let Renesmee spend any more time alone with the jerk today.

"Oh, you bet," He said, giving Rideau a less-than-friendly grin. Rideau's pleasant expression dropped a little, Jacob noted with satisfaction as they headed for the kitchen.

Renesmee had set their cups out around the small table, and was just pouring the boiling water into the teapot as Jacob took his usual spot. Rideau sat across from him, and Nessie took the chair in the middle as she brought the pot of freshly brewed tea over to them. Rideau was the picture of civility, thanking Renesmee as she filled his cup, and Jacob wanted nothing more than for his hand to accidentally 'slip', causing a cascade of teacups and scalding tea directly into the usurper's lap. But he kept his hands to himself, and found himself being similarly polite to Renesmee, who gave him a weird look, as if he'd maybe lost his marbles. Maybe he had, he thought moodily. After all, she'd had a point when they argued before: lots of guys and girls had platonic friendships with each other. He took a breath and tried to settle down. Renesmee and her friend were discussing something from one of their lectures, and Jacob tried to follow thee thread of the conversation, but it was beyond him, and besides that it sounded completely boring. He took a sip of tea, cleared his throat, and decided to join in.

"Nessie, did you tell you friend about our trip to the museum?" he asked. He wasn't intentionally trying to point out that they met up mid-day to do exciting things together, but at the same time, he didn't see how it could hurt. Rideau answered before Renesmee.

"She mentioned you two had gone this afternoon," he said, seemingly relieved that Jacob had decided to acknowledge him, however indirectly. "You know, I have a friend who's a junior curator. Next time you're thinking of going, let me know and I'll put you in touch. He might be able to hook you up with some behind-the-scenes stuff." Renesmee looked at him with wide eyes.

"Really? That would be great! Maybe you could come with me… I think sometimes Jake gets a little bored when I nerd out on him." She flashed Jacob a smile, and although he was smarting from her comment he couldn't help but realize from her expression that she didn't mean anything bad by it. And she had a point… the only reason he _wasn't_ completely bored by that stuff was because he was there with Nessie. Rideau was nodding.

"Sounds like a plan." He turned to Jacob then. Jacob realized with a sinking feeling that this guy wasn't going to quit; he was going to keep hassling him, trying to win him over so that he could woo Renesmee right under his nose. _That_ was about as likely to happen as… Well, Jacob couldn't really come up with anything quite that unlikely. "So," Rideau said conversationally, "Renesmee tells me you grew up near her in Washington, on the La Push Reservation?"

"That's right," Jacob said carefully, trying to figure out where the other man was trying to go with his question.

"Then you're Quileute," he said as if it was obvious. Jacob nodded slowly, this time feeling like he had a legitimate reason to be miffed. "I hope you don't think I'm being to forward, but part of my Masters Thesis concerns the depletion of West Coast tribes, and I'd really benefit from talking to somebody with an insider's perspective, if you'd be willing."

Jacob was stunned, and he said the first thing that came into his head. "That _is_ a bit forward." Out of the corner of his eye, Jacob could see Renesmee shooting daggers at him. He ignored it. "No offense, _friend_, but most people don't bring up the subject of a person's race within fifteen minutes of being introduced to them."

To Jacob's irritation, Rideau just put up his hands and smiled in a somewhat abashed way. "Hey, no, you're totally right. I'm sorry, I was thinking like an anthropologist. I do that sometimes. I also sometimes make things really awkward in social situations, which has nothing to do with being an anthropologist… that's just me." Jacob was intensely frustrated… he'd been given the perfect opportunity to prove to Renesmee that this guy was a jerk, and the little twerp had weaseled his way out of it by being quick and charming. It made him want to scream.

"No big deal," he said with some difficulty, and then he stood up. "I just remembered I've gotta make a phone call… business back home, you know." He looked pointedly at Renesmee. "I'll tell Seth and Leah you said hi." Renesmee was clearly upset with him; she nodded briefly as he stalked out of the room.

"Nice to meet you," he heard Rideau call as he disappeared around the doorframe. Jacob could hear them muttering to each other under their breaths as he left their line of vision. Probably Nessie apologizing for his rude behavior, he thought. Well fine. Let her side with Mr. Anthropology-Gives-Me-Carte-Blanche-To-Comment-On-Peoples'-Race. He could care less.

Except that, once he reached his room, he was shaking so violently that he thought he might phase. The only thing that stopped him was the thought of Esme's disappointed face at learning that he'd destroyed her beautifully decorated room. He actually liked that sweet vampire lady. And, of course, the fact that Edward would immediately remove him from Renesmee's side once he found out that Jacob couldn't control his temper. He calmed himself down by counting backwards from one hundred, and then pulled out his phone and hit one of the numbers on speed dial.

"Hey, Leah. What's up?"

oooOOOooo

Jacob got up from his bed at the sound of a tentative knock on his door. He opened it to see a very angry Renesmee standing in his doorway, arms crossed and shoulders high, face redder and stormier than usual.

"What is wrong with you?" she shouted before Jacob could even say hello. "I bring a friend home for the first time EVER and you can't even be bothered to act civilly towards him? Not cool, Jacob!"

Jacob tried to stay calm, but it was really difficult when Renesmee decided to punctuate her sentences with periodic jabs to his chest. "Nessie, settle down," he said, trying unsuccessfully to restrain her hands by catching them in his. She twisted away from him and stepped back, glowering.

"I will not settle down," she said angrily. "What _was_ that down there, Jacob? I know for a fact you're perfectly willing to talk openly about your heritage with lots of people you barely know. Why did you act so rude when Rideau asked you to help him out by talking to him?"

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Because I thought it was rude of _him_ to just assume I'd be okay with him prying into my personal history. I don't know the guy, and I don't trust him. I know you think you guys are friends, but I'm sorry, I just don't like him."

"But you just said you don't know him!" Renesmee threw her hands up in exasperation. "I don't get it, Jake… you're usually so easy-going with new people. Why do you have to be so crazy around the one friend I've managed to make here in New York?"

"I was being nice, until he got too personal. After that, I didn't really think I had any obligation to be civil."

Renesmee sighed. "Jacob, he's a cultural scientist. He just got excited to have the opportunity to speak with you. He wasn't trying to—"

"Why are you defending him, anyway?" Jacob said suddenly, cutting her off. "You've known this guy for just over a week. I've been your best friend since ten minutes after you were born. And yet here you are, sticking up for him, when I bet you didn't even bother to defend me to him after I left."

Renesmee went very still. "Actually," she said in a quiet, lethal tone, "I _did_ defend you. Rideau was really upset, sure that he'd offended you horribly. I assured him that you're a really good guy, and that something else was probably bothering you. I told him you're one of the best, coolest people I know, and my closest friend. I made all sorts of excuses for your behavior so that you wouldn't look like a total ass in front of somebody you'd just met. I was a good friend to you tonight." Her glare intensified. "I guess that makes one of us."

Jacob felt his heart sink. Renesmee's disappointment in him was almost palpable, and he hated the way it felt. "Nessie… okay, look, you're right… you're always a good, loyal friend to me. I'm sorry I implied that I doubted that…"

"You didn't imply, you flat-out stated."

Jacob hung his head, ashamed. "I know, okay? I'm just…"

"Worried about me? Trying to look out for my 'best interests'?" She stamped one foot in a way that Jacob would have found adorable if he wasn't the reason for it. "I've heard all this before, Jacob. It didn't impress me then, and it doesn't impress me now. What gives you the right to act like you're in charge of my life?"

Jacob wanted nothing more than to tell her exactly why he felt compelled to act that way, but he knew it was a bad idea. Now, in the middle of a horrible fight brought on by him acting like a territorial jerk, was not the time to introduce the idea of imprinting. And besides, if he wanted to keep Renesmee in his life, Jacob knew he had to keep his promise to Edward and not reveal his secret. "I know I'm not," he said dully, "I just can't help the way I act sometimes. You're… really important to me, Nessie, and I don't want to see you get into a situation where you'll end up unhappy."

"Like this one?" Renesmee snapped, and then she immediately looked sorry for saying it. "Look, Jake… you're really important to me, too. You're my best friend. But seriously? It's none of your business who else I become friends with."

Jacob could see her point, but he wasn't willing to go that far. "Not exactly, Nessie. You're right that you're free to make friends with whoever you want to, but I feel like, as somebody who cares about you, it _is_ my business what happens to you." He shrugged. "Sorry, but that's how friendships work." Renesmee greeted this revelation with a sullen expression, brow furrowed and chin jutting out at an unpleasant angle.

"You know, it really pisses me off how stubborn you are," she said with a glower. "It's impossible to say anything to you.,.. you just take it and turn it back around until it's exactly where you were in the first place. And every time I come up with a good argument, you just dismiss it, like I'm some impetuous child who has no idea what she's talking about, even if you know I'm really right. I _hate_ that, Jacob."

He sighed. She had a point there, and if he tried to debate it, he'd just be proving her right. He tried for a second to think of how he might respond to her accusation, and ended up chuckling humorlessly to himself.

"What?" Renesmee asked peevishly. Jacob just shrugged.

"You just checkmated me," he explained. "Nothing I can say in response to that will let me win this argument. You've got me in every direction."

Renesmee gave him a very serious look. "Maybe it isn't about winning," she said. "I don't want to defeat you… I just want to coexist peacefully. But if you can't let me be a grown-up and make my own choices, I really don't see how that's going to happen."

Jacob felt like his head might split in two. He knew that his jealousy and over-protective nature was hurting Renesmee, and yet he couldn't promise her with any sort of certainty that he would be able to refrain from acting the same way in the future. And as much as he wanted to lay all the blame on their imprint, a little voice inside of him that sounded exactly like Bella kept reminding him that he'd acted pretty much the same way in the past. One thing was certain, and that was the fact that he had very little control over his actions where Renesmee was concerned. How was he supposed to make her a promise to act like a civil and decent human being in the future?

He'd just have to try harder.

"Nessie… I'm sorry," he said, reaching out tentatively to brush her shoulder. "I didn't mean to be so intense. I just don't want anybody to hurt you, ever."

She looked up at him, and Jacob could see that her anger was already fading. "I'm glad that you're willing to look after me," she said, "but you have to respect me, too."

"I do!" Jacob said quickly, leaning towards her in his urgency. Renesmee put her hands on his shoulders and looked him squarely in the eyes.

"Then act like it," she said softly. They stood there for a long moment, Jacob stooped over so that their faces were just about level, staring into each other's eyes, until finally he nodded and pulled away reluctantly.

"Okay. I promise," he said, and he meant it. Renesmee didn't smile, not exactly, but she did looked like she believed him, and Jacob noted with satisfaction that she looked relieved.

"I'm going to bed," she said, starting for the door. Jacob almost reached out for her as she went, but stopped himself in time. He didn't want to trail after her like a needy child, begging for a hug from an angry parent, even though that was exactly how he felt.

"All right. Goodnight, Nessie. I'm sorry again."

She did give him a small smile then, right before she closed the door. "Goodnight, Jake. I'll see you in the morning." And then she was gone.

When the door closed behind her, Jacob was at a loss as to what he was supposed to do. Back home at the Cullen compound, he would have stripped off his clothing, leapt out the window and gone for a run in wolf form, letting the animal take over for however many hours it took to get it out of his system and calm him down. As it was, he couldn't exactly go bounding through Greenwich Village as a slobbering canine, so he simply paced back and forth until his legs got tired, and then he fell onto the bed and lay there, unsleeping, until the sun came up.

**In the next chapter:**

_On a blanket a little way off, beneath the shade of some large trees near the sand line, sat a woman Renesmee had never seen, a little girl, and Jacob. The woman had the girl in her lap, and was smoothing down masses of jet-black ringlets into two darling french braids, one on either side of her tiny head, while Jacob looked on with a familiar expression on his face. Renesmee stood somewhere between the tree line and the picnic blanket, and as her eyes locked onto Jacob, she felt her chest tighten. An angry heat flushed through her body. That was HER look on Jacob's face, that look of utter devotion and admiration, aimed at these two strange girls, one big and one tiny. She was right there, but he didn't even see her, he was too busy looking on with adoration as the woman played and laughed with her child._


	10. Dream a Little Dream of Me

**A/N: **The aftermath of the fight, Nessie-style. Does anybody else feel like this after a big fight with somebody important? I surely do.

This is a really long chapter, with a lot of description and introspection on Nessie's part… and not a whole lot of dialogue. Sorry if that's not your thing. But I think it's really important that we know what's happening inside her head… we've already got a pretty good idea about what's up on Jacob's end of things.

Also, regarding Bella… distance lends perspective. She's working on her feelings, and she's making progress. That's all I'm gonna say, for now.

Thanks for reading! Reviewers will all get responses (eventually) and maybe even some hints about future chapters!

Enjoy!

~Crit.

**Chapter 10: Dream a Little Dream of Me**

Renesmee shrank like a wilting flower against her closed bedroom door. It had taken every ounce of energy inside of her to stand up to Jacob, to confront him the way she had, and she felt drained, depleted and heartsick. There were times that she enjoyed a good argument: with her parents, with Emmett, and especially with Seth, who could bicker with her for hours and then snap out of it, order himself a pizza and invite her to the wolf house for coffee and Monty Python.

Then there were fights with Jacob. Whenever they argued, Renesmee came out on top, but somehow winning never felt good. Maybe it was the fact that, after his initial burst of self-righteousness, Jacob always caved in, saying and doing whatever he thought it would take to make her happy again. Maybe it was that she knew he probably wouldn't keep his promises to behave better next time, no matter how much he'd meant them to begin with. Or maybe it was that she always had a momentary, unrealistic fear that _this_ would be the fight that tore them apart for good; that she would say something that finally broke Jacob's infinite devotion to their friendship. Just the thought of their friendship disappearing was enough to send Renesmee into a panic attack.

She sat there on her floor and took several deep, gasping breaths of air, willing herself not to cry like a silly baby. On the one hand, she was still so angry at Jacob for treating her like a child and thinking her could pick her friends for her that she wanted to get up, go back into his room, and rant at him some more.

But on the other hand… it was _Jacob_, her best friend, her confidant, her number one fan_._ Her other half. Her entire world felt wrong when things weren't right with them, like her hands had been removed and stitched back onto the wrong arms. She hated it more than she could think about. And the worst of it was, given the choice between letting Jacob steamroll over any other friendships she might have in her life, and losing him all together for the sake of those same friendships, Renesmee knew that she would chose Jacob without hesitation, every single time. It made her sick to think about it, and she wondered if this time, finally, he might be true to his word and be fair to her. She really didn't have an answer. After a few minutes, she rose again and walked to her bathroom, tiredly pulling off her clothes as she went.

A half hour later, freshly showered and dressed in a crisp new pair of soft jersey pajamas, Renesmee still didn't feel a whole lot better, but she decided that she was actually tired enough to get to sleep at a decent hour for once (decent by somebody's standards, anyhow, seeing as it was two a.m.). She crawled beneath her covers and lay there, her extra-keen eyes tracing patterns on the ceiling as she waited for sleep to put her momentarily out of her misery.

_Seth was on the beach at La Push, standing in his bare feet, a pair of board shorts and a cotton undershirt, swinging a boy around in a circle by his tiny arms. On a blanket a little way off, beneath the shade of some large trees near the sand line, sat a woman Renesmee had never seen, a little girl, and Jacob. The woman had the girl in her lap, and was smoothing down masses of jet-black ringlets into two darling french braids, one on either side of her tiny head, while Jacob looked on with a familiar expression on his face. Renesmee stood somewhere between Seth and the little boy and the picnic blanket, and as her eyes locked onto Jacob, she felt her chest tighten. An angry heat flushed through her body. That was HER look on Jacob's face, that look of utter devotion and admiration, aimed at these two strange girls, one big and one tiny. She was right there, but he didn't even see her, he was too busy looking on as the woman played and laughed with her child. Renesmee eyed the strange woman carefully. She was completely focused on the child in her lap, braiding the coarse hair with long, nimble fingers. She had pale, milky skin, light brown hair and narrow green eyes that crinkled pleasantly at the corners when she smiled. Her full lips and adorably snubbed nose completed a rather stunning picture, Renesmee noted with a sinking feeling. She was definitely human. As for the little girl, she was about five years old, round-cheeked and dimpled with dark shining eyes and a smiling mouth full of too-large teeth. She had dark skin the colour of milky coffee and Renesmee figured it was probably a safe bet she was part Quileute. Part Jacob, too, if the way he was looking at the child was any indication. Renesmee's heart was turning over and over in her chest. Seeing Jacob like this, with a kid or maybe two by another woman, made everything fall into place inside her head, and she realized with a jolt that she couldn't bear it. It was wrong, seeing Jacob with this woman, so happy, smiling like everything was right with the world. Except it wasn't. Where was SHE? _

_"Daddy!" Renesmee's attention snapped in the direction of Seth and the little_ _boy, who was now launching himself at top speed towards Jacob. Her heart sank even further. This little boy, perhaps a year or two younger than the girl, was definitely Jacob's son. She watched as Jacob rose up onto his knees and flung his arms out in either direction, ready to catch the boy as he ran at him. Jacob's son had the same dark eyes and warm skin tone as the little girl, and Renesmee had to admit now that both children almost certainly belonged to him._

_Seth reached the blanket at a much more leisurely jog and sat down across from Jacob, the kids, and the strange woman, who was now pulling some food out of a basket behind her. Renesmee wanted to look away, to run or hide or do anything at all that would allow her to escape this blissful scene. Seth was saying something to the woman that she couldn't hear, and her response was to lightly smack him on the knee with a laugh and a shake of her head, as if she knew him very well. MY PACK, Renesmee thought territorially, MY JACOB. She almost snarled at the thought of this strange person having a life that should have been hers._

_She felt she knew for certain exactly what had happened. One too many arguments, one too many struggles for independence, and Jacob had finally drawn the line. He'd done whatever it was he had to do to put enough distance between them that he wouldn't end up wounded by her every time they fought_, _and the end result had been this: a happy life with someone new who obviously fit in with his pack, and two beautiful children. She felt herself close to tears… Jacob deserved to be happy, but she couldn't bear to see herself so completely absent from his life. She hadn't ever really been able to imagine either of their lives without the other, until now, when she saw it with her own eyes. It was horrible. Where was she?_

_As if on cue, Seth looked up from a piece of watermelon he'd been devouring and said, "Hey, where'd you say Nessie was today?" he took another bite. "Waves are perfect… I bet she'd love to be on a board right about now." Renesmee felt herself tearing up… Seth, at least, was thinking about her._

_"I'm right here!" Renesmee tried to shout at them but the words dried up and fell dead before they even left her throat. She waved her arms, but they didn't see. And when she tried to move towards them, she found herself frozen in place._

_Jacob, who was working on getting the boy to keep his own watermelon in his mouth and off his shirt, didn't look up as he said. "Who even knows," He said distractedly. "I think she said something about hunting with her uncles, but I can't remember the details… I kinda had my hands full." At this, he gestured with his one (momentarily) free hand to both of the children. The woman laughed. _

_The stranger leaned forward and tweaked the little boy's nose, then landed a light slap on Jacob's arm. "You're not a handful, are you Charlie?" She said to the little boy, who giggled in response. Renesmee felt an angry, surging heat rush through her body. How DARE they? It was bad enough that Jacob had bred with this woman, but to name their son after HER grandfather? Enraged, she tried again to rush forward, and this time the strange force that had been holding her in place gave way and she moved, FAST. When she started forward, the little girl looked up and took off from the blanket, moving towards her. Renesmee tried to stop herself as she realized they were going to collide, but the momentum she'd built was too great. She braced herself for the impact, her heart stopping at the thought that she might harm Jacob's child, but instead of the painful crash she'd anticipated, she looked down to find herself with her arms around the little girl, who seemed perfectly whole and healthy. The impact with Renesmee's hard, unbreakable body would have practically crushed any normal, human child, but this girl remained utterly undisturbed. In fact, she seemed happy as she turned her face up to look at Renesmee. At the sight of her dark, disturbingly familiar eyes, Renesmee froze like a deer in headlights._

_"Mommy!" The little girl cried, "You're back!"_

Renesmee awoke with a loud gasp, clutching her chest, to find she'd flown bolt upright into a sitting position in the middle of her bed. The first thing she noticed was that she was, in fact, alone in bed in her New York loft and not standing on a beach in Washington with a small child in her arms. The second thing she noticed, mere seconds later, was the sound of loud footsteps in the hallway outside of her door. An urgent set of knocks followed.

"Nessie?" Came Jacob's voice, "Are you okay?"

She tried to answer, but no sound came out at first. She cleared her throat and tried again, "I'm fine, Jake… I'm okay," she called, feeling as though she was anything but. There was a moment of silence, and then Jacob spoke up again.

"What's wrong? You don't sound okay." Renesmee was about to tell him to come in and see for himself, but then she remembered with a jolt that she was supposed to be mad at him.

"Well I am," she said, a little more briskly than intended. "Just… go back to bed."

"It's all right… I'm not tired," Jacob said, and Renesmee wasn't sure if he was talking to her or just thinking out loud.

"Well I'm exhausted," she lied, "So I'm just going to go back to sleep, and I'll see you in a while."

Another pause. "Okay," Jacob responded, sounding a bit defeated. A few moments later, she heard the sound of his footsteps, much slower now, retreating in the direction of his own room.

Renesmee fell back against her pillows and stared, once again, at the ceiling. There was absolutely no way she was going back to sleep. Not after that dream. She replayed the final seconds in her mind: the big brown eyes, so like her own, the sweet, loving expression on the little girl's face as she looked up at her and called her "Mommy". It all fell into place inside Renesmee's head. Those were not Jacob's children with some stranger; they were Jacob's children with _her_.

Why had she dreamed this? And why had her brain presented it in such a misleading way? This was no normal dream… the feelings she'd experienced were too real, too raw, not felt through the gentle haze of sleep. She recalled her desperation, her sorrow, her rage at the thought of Jacob and the mystery woman being man and wife, having a family, a life apart from her. Then she remembered the surge of pure joy she'd experienced when, in the moment before waking, the real situation had been revealed and she realized that those were, in fact, _her_ children, hers and Jacob's together. A feeling of intense rightness, such as she'd never experienced before. And, even though she'd only known that feeling for a moment before being brought back to consciousness, Renesmee missed it as keenly as if it had been real, as if she'd really had that family, and Jacob.

_Jacob._

Renesmee found herself clutching her bedsheets so hard that her fingers went stiff. She felt like she'd slammed headfirst into a brick wall; it had been there all along, but she'd been so busy ignoring it that she'd wrecked herself by barreling straight at it.

How could she have been so stupid? The wonderful feeling of understanding that had always flowed between them, the wretched way she felt when he was unhappy with her, the way she always wanted to be next to him when he was nearby and how, when he was further away, she constantly thought about things she would tell him later: it was the stuff of so many novels, movies and plays, and she couldn't believe she'd never realized it before. She was in love with Jacob.

She was trembling forcefully with the implications of what she'd just realized. This was Jacob, her best friend and only real confidant, whom just a few hours ago she'd basically told to butt out of her life. He'd known her since she was born. He was practically family. And she'd always suspected that there had, at one time, been something between him and her mother. They'd played together when she was a child… until very, very recently she'd been known to ride on his back while he was in wolf form. He'd changed her diapers… he'd seen her naked. _She'd_ seen _him_ naked. It was just too weird.

Suddenly, Renesmee wished she'd never thought about nudity and Jacob at the same time. It was as though she'd flipped a switch, and now she found herself unable to flip it back, and thoughts of his beautiful skin stretched over taut muscles came floating to the forefront of her mind unbidden. She had to think of something else, she knew, or there'd be hell to pay. It didn't matter that there was nobody in the vicinity who could hear her thoughts; one day she was bound to be in the same room as her father again, and if she allowed herself to think about Jacob that way, _ever_, she wouldn't be able to control when the thoughts came back.

She thought back again to the dream. The mystery woman was now an even greater mystery, as Renesmee now knew she wasn't Jacob's dream-wife. Why had her mind put that woman there? Was she simply a composite of Renesmee's opposite qualities: mild, blonde, willowy and human? Maybe she would pick up a book at the university library on dream interpretation. But she thought she'd already pretty much figured out the point her subconscious was trying to make. It was a wake up call, one meant to bring her feelings for Jacob to the forefront and point out that, if she wasn't careful, she'd end up losing him to someone else. Renesmee clenched her jaw and remembered the horrible feeling she'd had when she thought Jacob was in love with someone else. It was like her body had been cleaved in two. It was so unfathomable and so painful that Renesmee knew she'd never survive it in real life. Was that love? How did anybody stand it?

It was too much for her to handle. She'd seen many things in her life. At seventeen human years of age, she thought and acted more like a woman in her mid-twenties. She was extremely well-educated and had been given the best of everything, opportunities and adventures that most people wouldn't even be able to imagine. And none of it had prepared her in the slightest for the way she felt now.

Her cell phone was in her hand before she even realized she'd reached for it, and she had dialed and hit send before she got a good chance to think it over. Her call was answered quickly after the first ring.

"Renesmee," her father's voice said sharply, "What's wrong?"

Tears sprang immediately to her eyes at the sound of his voice. His concern was so typical, so ridiculous and so _normal_, and she felt a wave of fond emotion wash over her as she said, "Nothing, Dad. Don't worry, everything's fine." There was a long pause from the other end of the line.

"Are you aware that it's four in the morning?" he said, sounding as if he didn't believe her. Renesmee smiled wistfully.

"I know. I didn't figure it would matter that much to you," she said pointedly. She heard her father's soft, familiar chuckle and she relaxed… his suspicion was ebbing. "Um, listen… I actually was wondering if I could talk to mom."

"Of course," her father said, and Renesmee thought she heard just the tiniest bit of disappointment in his voice. "She's just in the other room. I'll go get her."

Less than a second later, her mother's voice said, "Honey," in her ear, and she felt like crying again.

"Hi, mom," she said in a small voice. She knew she was going to worry her mother, but she selfishly decided she didn't care… she needed her.

"What are you doing up? It's four a.m.," her mother said in a concerned voice.

"I'm not tired," she said truthfully, "I went to bed early, and now I'm up and can't get back to sleep."

She could practically hear the gears turning in her mother's head. "Is there something bothering you?" she asked. Renesmee knew she couldn't tell her the whole truth.

"I guess," she said. "I'm just… thinking about stuff."

"What kind of stuff?" She had an image of Bella getting comfortable on the sofa, like she usually did when she was settling in for a long conversation, and felt comforted. "School?"

"No, not school." Renesmee sighed. "I was just thinking about… well, about you and dad."

"Honey, are you feeling homesick?"

"No," Renesmee said without thinking, and then quickly clarified, "I miss you all the time, but that's not what I was thinking of right now."

"Oh." Her mother sounded disappointed, and Renesmee felt really bad… she should have at least pretended to be homesick. Obviously, her parents missed her, too… it might make them feel better if they thought she was at least a bit sad about being on her own. "Well, what about your father and I?"

Renesmee tried to figure out how to go about the conversation, She definitely did _not_ want her parents to know about her feelings for Jacob, at least not yet. Maybe some day, if they ended up together… the tight, uncomfortable feeling in her chest returned. For now, she'd have to be stealthy. "I was just thinking about what a great relationship you two have."

"Really?" Her mother's voice was pleased and surprised, Renesmee noted. She was well aware of how deeply her parents loved each other, and she knew that, given the chance to talk about their relationship, her mother would have plenty to say and would say it happily. "Well, thank you sweetheart."

"And then I started thinking about how much the two of you had to overcome to get to where you are. I'm not even talking about the stuff that came after you were married… I mean all the vampire/human stuff." Renesmee paused. "It must have been really hard for you, being so in love with somebody who was so different from you."

"It wasn't being in love that was hard," her mother replied, "It was not knowing whether that love was returned, and after that, not knowing if it would last." There was a weight to her silence as she stopped talking, and Renesmee knew she was trying to remember as much as she could from her human life. Then, in a suddenly bright tone, Bella said, "But in the end, everything worked out the way I hoped it would: your father and I got married and had you, and then I made the switch and… well, you know the rest."

Renesmee nodded to herself. "Right." She thought carefully about what she'd say next. "Mom, you love Dad more than anything, right?"

"Except for you, honey."

"Right. But you weren't always sure it was going to work out. Wasn't that really hard? Didn't you ever feel like… I don't know, like if you couldn't be with him, you wouldn't be able to stand it?"

The was a morose chuckle from the other end of the line. "That's one way of putting it."

Renesmee figured there was a story there, one she wasn't likely to get without some pushing. She'd worry about that later. "But with so many odds against you, you still managed to make it work."

"It wasn't always easy, but we _had_ to be together. So we were." It sounded so simple, and Renesmee thought miserably that it could only be that easy if both people felt the same way. She must have been thinking too long, because when her mother spoke again her voice sounded somewhat suspicious. "Honey, where is all this coming from?"

Renesmee felt a lump of shame rising in her throat at the thought that she was hiding the truth from her mother, but she pressed on. "I just… I wonder if I'll ever have anything like that." She tried not to let her emotions take over, as close as she was already to tears. "I mean, it was hard enough for you and dad, being a human and a vampire… I don't even know _what_ I am."

"Renesmee," her mother said in a very sympathetic tone, "You're _you_, and that's all you have to worry about right now."

The sound of her mother's caring voice sent her over the edge. "But what if nobody ever loves me?" she said very quietly.

"Honey. There is somebody out there for you. You'll get there. You just need to be patient." Something in the way her mother said it made Renesmee think of her Aunt Alice, when she'd had a vision of something but didn't want to admit it outright. It was like her mother knew for certain. Of course, that was impossible… her mother couldn't see the future, and Aunt Alice had never been able to see what was going to happen to Renesmee anyway.

"How can you be so sure?" she said miserably. "I don't feel like I even have a chance." _Mostly because the man I love probably thinks of me like his little sister. Or his niece. Ugh._

"There are some things I just know." She could almost hear her mother's smile through the phone. "Honey, you'll find love. You don't need to be in such a hurry. When it's right, it will happen. For now, just enjoy how simple your life is without it."

Renesmee felt like her life was anything but simple, but she couldn't tell that to her mother without telling her everything, so she just said, "You're right, mom. Thanks."

"No problem, baby. You know I'm always here to talk if you need me."

"I know." She faked a yawn. "Wow… I guess I really am a bit sleepy still. I should probably try to get some more rest before it's time to get up for real."

"That sounds like a good idea. Have a good sleep."

"Thanks, Mom. I love you."

"I love you too, Baby." There was a soft click as her mother hung up. Renesmee put her phone down. That hadn't helped as much as she'd hope it would. And the sun was starting to come up… pretty soon she'd have to face Jacob, and she didn't know if she could do that.

_It's no big deal,_ she told herself firmly, _it's just Jake. Same old Jake as he was yesterday._ It wasn't as though she hadn't noticed how attractive Jacob was before… she had. He was a very attractive man, and she'd always known it, and all she had to do now was quietly acknowledge that she found him attractive in the same way she always did and then let it go. No problem. She would get up, take a shower, get dressed and go downstairs, and nothing out of the ordinary would happen.

An hour later, Renesmee stepped out of her bedroom and quietly began to walk towards the stairs. Jacob's bedroom door was shut, and she wondered if he really _had_ gone back to sleep when she'd told him to. Good… maybe that meant she could avoid him altogether.

As she reached the bottom of the stairs, that hope was immediately obliterated as Jacob appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. He was fully clothed in jeans and a plain black t-shirt, Renesmee noted with some relief. Other than a hot feeling somewhat akin to embarrassment, she realized that she didn't really feel all that different than usual upon seeing her friend. She was just happy to see him, excited to spend the morning talking to him and joking around. Just like usual. Feeling hugely relieved, Renesmee gave him a small smile and started towards him and the kitchen.

"Hey," Jacob said before she could offer any sort of greeting. She only registered that he had one hand behind his back when he brought it forward and held it out towards her, revealing a very familiar white and green paper cup. "I went out when I heard the shower come on and got this for you… I know you prefer the fancy stuff to home-brew."

Renesmee took the proffered Starbucks cup with a bewildered expression. She brought it towards her face to inhale the scent and noticed that, on the white plastic lid in bold capital letters, Jacob had written 'SORRY' with a black marker pen. It was then that her feelings from earlier decided to make themselves known once again, and her heart began doing gymnastics inside of her chest.

"I'm really, really sorry about yesterday, Nessie," Jacob said, looking down at her with a sincerely contrite expression. "I mean it when I say I won't let it happen again." She made the mistake of looking directly into his eyes, and found that she couldn't look away.

"Oh, Jake," she said, trying really hard to keep her emotions out of her voice, "It's okay." He shook his head.

"No, it's not. You made it really clear that you care about this friendship, and that it's really important to you. And I can't just ignore that. If I'm really going to do what's best for you, I should try to actually listen to what you say." He gave her a sort of miserable look. "I'm really sorry I ignored your feelings."

Renesmee was gobsmacked; he'd actually taken their argument to heart. Maybe this _would _be different from all the other times. "Well, thanks for saying that… I didn't expect you would, but it means a lot that you did," she said earnestly. "And for the coffee… which I _really_ wasn't expecting."

Jacob looked much more relaxed at that. "So, you forgive me for acting like a jerk?"

"Of course I forgive you," Renesmee replied, rolling her eyes, "I already did that. But if you thinking I'm mad at you gets me free Starbucks in the morning, I guess I should get pissed off at you every night."

Jacob just shook his head and went back into the kitchen to grab his own coffee. "Sure. Just remember, the 'I'm-Sorry-Coffee' works both ways."

"Oh yeah… _really_ likely, Jake." She snickered and then, propelled by a sudden impulse, shot forward and planted a quick kiss on his cheek while he was bending over the table. "I'm glad everything's okay again," she said quickly, and then dashed back up the stairs to her room. If she'd looked behind her, she would have seen Jacob, frozen mid-bend, with a mystified expression on his face and one hand placed tenderly over the place where her lips had touched his skin.

_**In the next chapter:**_

_Renesmee smiled at the other girl and shrugged. "You wouldn't by any chance like a second-hand cappuccino, would you? I seem to have an extra…"_

_"Thanks! That's really sweet of you!" Clara took the green and white paper cup with enthusiasm, just as their professor walked to the front of the class and began the lecture._

_Three hours later, as they were packing up, Clara turned to Renesmee again. "So, Ness, I've been watching you since the first day of class, and I have to ask… what are you?"_


	11. Gossip Girls

**A/N: **Hi all!

This is kind of a fun chapter… I had a blast writing it. I think Nessie is shaping up to be a really great friend. But, as she finds out here, humans have their downsides… the flu being one of them. Yuck. (Rideau hasn't got the Swine flu, in case you were wondering, just normal ol' Influenza. I had H1N1 early last month, and trust me when I say it is BALLS. If you can avoid getting it, please do try.)

DaffyMaiden, this one's for you… thanks for pointing out my Gossip Girl ripoff! I've always intended for Clara to be modeled after the characters on that show, and I think it's hilarious that at least one reader picked up on that right away, before she was even formally introduced. I'd just like to state, for the record, that I wrote this chapter about a month ago (maybe more), way in advance of last week's episode, which I have not actually seen. Total coincidence. But just to be safe, I've changed the chapter title and called it an homage to a great show. In case anybody is interested, I imagine Clara as two parts Serena, one part Blair and one part Chuck =) Imagine the possibilities.

As always, I'd love to hear your feedback. Let me know what you think!

Enjoy!

~Crit.

**Chapter 11: Gossip Girls**

A couple weeks later, Rideau was missing from their morning class. Renesmee felt a moment of sharp disappointment when she realized he wasn't going to show up… she'd come to truly enjoy their beginning of the week ritual of coffee, class and then more coffee. Plus, it had been her turn to pick up the first beverage of the morning, so now she was stuck with a dry cappuccino, which she knew she'd never be able to choke back… too much milk for her liking. In Renesmee's opinion, dairy had only one place, and that was in ice cream. Outside of sugary, chocolaty summer treats, milk was just plain gross. About ten minutes before lecture time, her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she opened it to find a text from Rideau: _Have come down with consumption. Can't stop coughing. Remember me as a kind soul who perished bravely._ She snickered to herself and sent him a feel-better message before turning back to her books.

Just when she was starting to enjoy having a bit of space to spread out, somebody tapped her on the shoulder, and Renesmee looked up to see one of her classmates, the girl with the blonde highlights that she'd noticed on her first day. She flashed Renesmee a huge smile full of straight, paper-white teeth and, with a slight tilt of the head, said, "Hi! Mind if I sit here?"

Renesmee, a bit surprised, nodded and said, "Please, go ahead," quickly moving her bag off the chair beside her. The girl sat down in a wave of soft, feminine perfume.

"I'm Clara," she said, extending her hand. Renesmee took it and shook.

"Ness," She said, wondering why this girl had chosen to sit next to her today instead of in her usual spot, where she had both sides of the desk to herself.

"Good to meet you, Ness," Clara replied in a cheerful voice. "Where's your friend today, the tall guy with the glasses? You two are usually in your own little bubble up here."

"Oh," Renesmee said dumbly, surprised that her new seatmate had even noticed her and Rideau and their friendly rapport, "He's home sick today."

"That's too bad," she said with a sympathetic look. She gestured to the extra coffee cup. "Guess you didn't know."

"No, I got the message a bit too late," Renesmee said with a shrug. "You wouldn't by any chance like a second-hand cappuccino, would you? I seem to have an extra…"

"Thanks! That's really sweet of you!" Clara took the green and white paper cup with enthusiasm, just as their professor walked to the front of the class and began the lecture.

Three hours later, as they were packing up, Clara turned to Renesmee again. "So, Ness, I've been watching you since the first day of class, and I have to ask… what _are_ you?" Renesmee's blood ran cold, and she turned her head like a whip to stare at the other girl. Upon seeing her reaction, Clara chuckled. "Wow, it must be even better than I thought, with a response that dramatic. So, what is it? Royalty? Or just _New York_ Royalty?" She shot her a needling, conspiratorial look. "You can tell me, I promise not to spread it around."

Renesmee thought for a moment that she wouldn't be able to catch her breath, but after a moment she recovered from the shock. "I… I'm not sure what you mean…" she said, and she meant it. Clara just raised an eyebrow.

"Look, maybe the other students here don't know couture when they see it, but I do. I've never seen you in an outfit that could possibly cost less than three grand. That bag," she said, pointing to Renesmee's purse, "is Chanel, and it doesn't even hit stores until December. And I saw those boots you're wearing on the runway at Fashion Week… they cost more than my tuition." A faint, triumphant smile passed over Clara's face. "So, what are you? A Vanderbilt, maybe, or a Kennedy or something?"

Renesmee felt herself blushing, and she looked down at the books she was shoving into her bag. "I'm not anything," she said quickly. "My parents… they've got money. That's all." She stood to leave, and Clara followed her like a shadow.

"Hey, you're not embarrassed, are you?" Renesmee didn't respond; the truth was, she _was_ embarrassed, hugely so. Clara grabbed her arm and stopped her. By this point, almost everybody had left the lecture hall, and her voice echoed slightly in the cavernous space as she said, "It's not a bad thing to have money, you know… to have nice things."

Renesmee looked at the girl's face: there was no trace of suspicion there. Her evidently obvious wealth hadn't set any alarm bells ringing in this young woman's head… it had only made her intensely curious. Maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. "No, it's okay," she said with a sheepish smile, "I just made the mistake of thinking I was blending in. Sorry if I acted weird just now."

Clara shook her head. "No worries. I didn't mean to spook you… I've just got an eye for clothes, it's hard for me _not_ to notice when somebody constantly looks like they've just walked off the runway. I thought I'd introduce myself… I guess I sometimes come on a little strong."

"We all do sometimes," Renesmee said with her friendliest smile. She took a moment to survey the other's girl's outfit, seeing as that seemed to be the main focus of their conversation. Well-tailored, expensive fabrics, a grid of mirrored and flipped 'C's on her bag, bright crimson on the soles of her shoes. "So," she said with a hint of sarcasm, "What are _you_?"

Clara laughed, a low, throaty noise. It was the laugh of a much older woman than she appeared to be. "Socialite Spawn," she said with a wave of her hand. "Nothing too special, just your usual silver spoon stuff."

"I see," said Renesmee, even though she really wasn't sure she did. "So you grew up here, in the city?"

"Born and raised," Clara replied. "And you didn't." It wasn't a question, but Renesmee shook her head anyway. "I can tell. You've got that locked-away-in-a-tower look to you. No offense."

Renesmee tried to decide if she should be amused of affronted; she settled on the former. "It wasn't exactly a tower," she said with a small smile. "My, uh, roommate calls it a compound, and that kind of caught on. Now we all call it that."

Clara caught on the word 'Roommate'. "You share a place? What, did the folks cut you off or something?"

"No… more like they decided I should have supervision. They're sort of… overprotective."

"Interesting." Clara did, in fact, look interested. "Most rich kids get to do what they like, when they like." She gestured to herself as proof. "I just happened to get it out of my system in my early teens."

Renesmee wasn't sure exactly what 'it' referred to, but she was pretty sure she hadn't ever had it in her system in the first place. She found herself becoming more and more intrigued by Clara, who had obviously had a much different upbringing than her own. "So, what about you? Do you live alone?" They were walking along one of the paths that led off campus now, and Renesmee looked around them at the other students. She had to admit, now that it was brought to her attention, that she was much better dressed than most of the people there. She and Clara looked like they matched, in their expensive and well-tailored coats and boots. She couldn't help but feel a shallow little thrill at the thought that people might look at her and think she was a fashionable, pretty girl like Clara.

Clara shook her head. "I'm not sure you could really put it that way… I live there," She said, and pointed at the sky in front of them. Specifically, she pointed at a tall, stately building that soared high up into the blue. Renesmee had to squint to look at it, because the sun was so bright.

"Is that a hotel?" She said incredulously. Clara rolled her eyes.

"Yeah… my dad owns it. I'm in one of the suites… her has the penthouse, of course. So I guess you could say I still live with my parents."

Renesmee chuckled. "I'd say that's a bit of an over-simplification." She checked her watch. "I've got a couple hours between now and my next class… Rideau and I usually hang out on Mondays, but I guess today I'll just go home for a bit."

Clara shrugged. "You could," She said, "If you need to. Or, since I've got some time to burn too, _we_ could go grab a bite." Renesmee was surprised but pleased at the invitation.

"Okay," she said, even though she didn't really feel like facing a restaurant. She did feel like finding out more about this new girl. Maybe she could be another new friend. A _girl_ friend… someone she could talk to about girl things. "That would be nice."

"Perfect. I know a great place." And Clara steered them purposefully in the direction of wherever it was they were going for lunch.

Where they were going, it turned out, was a very upscale French restaurant. Renesmee was suddenly very glad she'd bothered to put herself together nicely that morning, because everybody in the place seemed to be dressed impeccably in designer labels. She again felt a surge of pleasure at being able to pass as one of these young high society ladies, but it was coupled with a sense of impending dread that she'd give herself away with some horrible social faux pas. She shook the thought away. She was Edward Cullen's daughter… nobody had better manners than her dad, at least when he wasn't too mad about something to remember to use them. She'd just have to keep in mind how he acted in public, and she'd be fine.

Most of the menu was comprised of horrid-sounding things: tiny birds, quail eggs, basically everything with a disgusting texture or origin. Renesmee ordered the soup of the day. Liquids were about all she could handle at this place. She noted that Clara noticed her miniscule selection, but the other girl didn't comment.

"So," Clara said when the waiter departed after taking their orders, "That man you're always with… Rideau, was it?" Renesmee nodded. "Are you two an item?" She almost spat her mouthful of water across the table into Clara's face. What an unexpectedly forward thing to ask! Why did everyone think she was interested in Rideau?

"No," she said, recovering nicely. "We're just friends." Clara's grin took on a razor-sharp edge.

"Are you sure about that? He looks like he wants to be."

Renesmee shook her head. "Positive. He's nice, but I'm not… well, he's just not the type for me."

That garnered a knowing look. "Ah," said Clara, "There's somebody else."

Renesmee could feel herself blushing. "No, no… it's not like that… there isn't anybody, really."

"But you'd like for there to be."

She found herself shrugging. "Maybe." Clara gave a triumphant little laugh.

"Aha. Who is it? Anybody I might know?"

Renesmee snorted. "I doubt it. He's… well, it's sort of awkward. You remember the roommate I mentioned?"

Clara's pale eyebrows leapt into her hairline. "Your chaperone? That _is_ awkward." She snickered. "What would Mummy and Daddy think?" Renesmee couldn't help but shudder at that.

"Let's not even go there. I can imagine several scenarios… none of them particularly pleasant."

"At least your parents care who you date. My mother just assumes my relationships will fail right from the start. She'd stopped even bothering to ask the names of the guys I see. And my dad only wants to know their last names… so he can gloat about how he has more money than their fathers." She seemed to lose herself as she rambled on, and then suddenly focused on Renesmee again with a guilty look. "Sorry… overshare."

"It's cool," Renesmee said with a sympathetic smile. "I don't mind swapping crazy family stories. I've got a few stored up." Clara grinned.

"I'm glad I introduced myself to you today," She said suddenly. "I've been wanting to, but you've always got a boy-shield next to you. I hope you don't think I'm being weird… It's just that the people I get to meet… well, they're interesting, but they're not smart, or interested in the same things I'm interested in. I just wanted to meet someone cool, who can actually understand what I'm talking about when I go all brainiac, and who doesn't let the fact that I have money get in the way of getting to know me."

Renesmee was, again, surprised by Clara. She'd sort of pegged the girl as a fashion-plate without much substance, and here she was expressing an interest to meet with somebody on a common intellectual level. She could relate, she supposed. Although she'd never lacked for smart, stimulating people around her, she certainly wanted to find a friend her own age (Mentally, at least), with common interests. Maybe she and Clara would work out well as friends.

"I definitely know how you feel," she said with a smile.

oooOOOooo

Renesmee looked up from the massive textbook she'd been reading at the sound of her phone ringing. She'd been home from school for about an hour, and was relaxing on her bed, catching up on some work. Jacob was in the other room, and her family usually called her on the landline… it must be one of her friends! She rolled over and reached towards her phone, which was still buzzing away on her night table. 'Rideau Linley' came up on the display. She grinned and hit the answer button.

"Hey Sicko," she said cheerfully.

"Hey yourself." Rideau's voice was raspy, and about an octave lower than normal.

"Wow, you sound terrible," she said bluntly. Rideau chuckled from the other end of the line, but his laughter soon devolved into a coughing fit. Renesmee flinched. "Ouch… sorry, I'll try not to be funny."

When he'd caught his breath again, he asked her how class had been. Renesmee told him what they'd discussed with regards to the readings, and gave him the chapters they had to know for the following week.

"The oddest thing happened to me today," he said when she had finished. "I was on the couch, miserable, and there was a knock at my door. Turns out somebody had phoned the local Deli and they'd given them my name and address, along with an order for an obscene amount of Chicken Soup. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

Renesmee laughed. "Nope," she lied. She'd sent the soup herself, and Rideau clearly knew it, but she'd play along. "Must've been the soup fairy."

"Well, the soup fairy is very generous. I'll have to pay her back."

"No need… she's got plenty of soup to go around. You'd just embarrass her if you tried."

She could almost hear his smile in his voice. "Well, I just thought you might like to know that the soup helped… I think I'm going to live, after all."

"Damn… and I've already put the deposit down on the hearse. I can't get that back, you know!" Rideau had another fit of laughter and coughing.

"So, what else happened today?" He asked her when he'd pulled through it.

Renesmee remembered her lunch with Clara. "You know that girl in our morning class with the blonde hair, the one with the macBook? Well, she sat with me today in class, and we introduced ourselves."

"Really?" Rideau paused, thinking. "She sits near the middle, usually, with her stuff spread everywhere, right?" Renesmee giggled.

"Yup. That's her. Anyway, she's actually a pretty interesting character… she's like a socialite or something, her dad owns four hotels."

"Wow. That's more hotels than I own." Renesmee rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, it was cool. She's nice."

"Don't tell me you're ditching me for a new seat buddy," Rideau joked.

"Never!" Renesmee scoffed, laying the drama on thick. "Don't even say it!"

After another laughter-inspired coughing fit, Rideau sighed reluctantly. "I should get off the phone… you're on a roll with the jokes, and it's killing my lungs."

"I can try to be boring," she offered.

"Naw… my throat hurts anyway. I'll call you tomorrow, though, and let you know if I'm gonna make it to campus… we can grab the coffee we missed today."

"Okay… rest up!"

"I will. Bye."

"Bye." Renesmee clicked the end button on her phone and set it down with a smile. It felt really good to have people in her life besides her family and Jacob. Not that they weren't her favorite people in the universe, but they were sometimes a little close. Their relationships with her were a little too vital. That must be why people had regular friends… to have people in their lives to whom they didn't owe anything, and who didn't owe anything to them, for the simple purpose of spending time together and enjoying each other's company. She'd never really had that. The closest she'd come had been her friendship with Jacob, and even there, it hadn't been that easy. They had always had an intense bond with each other, as if their lives were tied together invisibly yet unyieldingly. And now, with her feelings, she felt an even more desperate pull towards her lifelong friend. Renesmee was finding it truly difficult to just take it easy and have fun with somebody for whom she cared so deeply.

Just thinking about him tied her stomach in tight, unpleasant knots. Renesmee flopped back against the pillows. What was she going to do about Jacob? She couldn't tell him, that was for sure, and she couldn't go on like this, not telling him… she'd go nuts. She was pretty much certain that he had no idea what was going on, and that he didn't think about her the way she thought about him. Did he even think of her as a girl at all? The more she thought about it, the less likely it seemed. He probably saw her as a kid, even in her new, more grown up clothing. And she acted like it, too, goofing around, being so physical with him, like she had when she was younger.

She thought back to her mother's objection to her and Jacob on their runs, her riding on the giant wolf's back like a jockey. Her mother was right. It wasn't appropriate. If a man and woman of a certain age were to be friends, there couldn't be that sort of contact… it was gauche, it wasn't respectable behavior.

She'd just have to start acting more like an adult around Jacob. That way, he'd see her as one, and maybe return her affections. And if not… then it would at least be a bit easier to be without him, having already removed a part of their closeness.

There was a knock at her door. Before she could stop and think about it, Renesmee turned towards the sound and shouted, "Come in!"

Jacob's huge frame appeared in the doorway a second later, and her heart gave a bizarre little twist. He saw her sitting on the bed, practically buried in schoolwork, gave a little smirk, and then flopped onto the bed beside her, the springs groaning in response to the sudden, extra weight. Renesmee gave a loud squeak as her books bounced across the mattress, her papers scattering.

"Aw, Jake… I had a system going!" She complained, closing her books and gathering them into a pile.

Jacob drew his legs up onto the bed and sat crosslegged, leaning his elbows on his knees. "You work too hard," he said, "It's boring, and it's unhealthy. Come play PS3." He was in gray track pants and a white undershirt, and Renesmee was keenly aware of the closeness of his body, the extra exposure of his warm skin. She sighed.

"I really have to study, Jake."

He grabbed her by the crook of her elbow and shook her gently, like a child pestering an older sibling. "Come on… I'm really bored. And as my best friend, you have an obligation—nay, a _duty—_to entertain me."

As casually as she could, Renesmee twisted her arm out of his grip and stood up, putting a much-too-small stretch of charged air between them. Her skin felt cold and unpleasant at the absence of his touch. "You're a terrible influence, you know," she said with narrowed eyes, scooping her books up and taking them to her desk, leaving them there in a pile. She couldn't refuse him anything, but she could at least agree to his demands without giving into to the urge to feel his skin against her own. It felt like a violation, giving how she felt and the fact that Jacob didn't know. "Okay," she said with an overly-dramatic sigh, "I guess I can take a few minutes break to kick your butt."

"In your dreams, Small Fry!" Renesmee was glad that Jacob had leapt up and started for the door, because at the mention of dreaming she felt her cheeks go warm. He bounded down the hall and into his own room, and Renesmee followed, a playful grin glued precisely to her face. She was convinced that she could handle a video game, even if she _was_ playing it beside the most handsome, attractive, muscled-bound…

No. PS3, then studying. No time for dirty thoughts.

Jacob already had the game loaded on his big screen. Renesmee almost sat beside him on the end of his bed, then thought better of it and plopped herself down on the carpet, her back resting against the footboard. If Jacob found that odd, he didn't mention it. He pressed the start button and their characters loaded in split screen, army men with huge guns. The epic video game music surged, and they began unceremoniously shooting at each other. After about ten minutes of running, shooting and stalking, it became abundantly clear that Renesmee was going to lose, and badly.

"You're _mine_, Nessie!" Jacob yelled as he cornered her player. Renesmee's fingers tightened instinctively at that innocent statement, and there was a crunching sound and the plastic controller snapped in two in her hands. Her character was slaughtered on-screen without fighting back, and she tossed the mangled controller on the floor, in frustration. "Whoa," Jacob said as he caught sight of the broken plastic.

"Sorry," Renesmee said, a bit embarrassed and angry with herself, "I guess I just got into it." Jacob just laughed. It really wasn't that big of a deal… they had both broken video game controllers before. The things weren't created for the super-strong.

"Wouldn't be the first time," he said, mussing her hair playfully. Renesmee pulled away in irritation. How was she supposed to avoid touching him if he kept touching _her_? "Hey, don't worry about it!" Jacob said, misunderstanding her reaction. "I'll just pull out the extra…"

"I don't want to play anymore, Jacob," she said, letting a bit too much of her frustration seep into her tone. When she looked up, Jacob's face was full of confusion and hurt. She shook her head and closed her eyes. "Sorry… I'm just in kind of a bad mood, okay?"

Jacob was quiet for a minute, and then he said, "Okay, Nessie," and moments later she heard the television click off.

It didn't make sense… she'd had such a good day, and then as soon as she'd started spending time with the one person she most wanted to see, things began to go downhill. Now, she was tense and upset, and she couldn't shake the feeling or explain exactly why. And she certainly couldn't talk to Jacob about it.

She couldn't talk to anybody about it.

Renesmee risked a quick pat to Jacob's shoulder as she stood and started from the room. "Look, I'm sorry… I promise to be nicer and more cheerful tomorrow. For now, I should probably just finish my work and get some rest."

Jacob looked like he didn't believe a word she was saying. "Nessie, if there's something wrong… you can tell me."

She shook her head. "Nothing's wrong," she lied. "I'm just a bit cranky. Girl stuff. You know." That worked… Jacob now looked scared, rather than suspicious.

"Okay, well, I'll just let you… um, feel better, then." He said, actually backing away a little. That made Renesmee smile. Jacob was sometimes so easy to peg.

"Ok. I'll be in my room… have a good night," she said. Jacob echoed her goodnight wishes as she walked away, and she had the urge to look back at him over her shoulder. One more look at him, and she knew her willpower would crumble, and she wouldn't be able to leave.

So she didn't look back.

_**In the Next Chapter:**_

_He knew he was pushing his luck, but she seemed to be comfortable with the same physical closeness they used to have, and he couldn't help but relish in it. "Yeah. That's always good," he agreed. Renesmee blinked up at him, propping herself up on one elbow to look into his face. _

"_I want us to always be friends, okay?" She said, and her cheerful expression faltered. "Even if… if something happens that one of us doesn't want to happen. I… I just always want us to be best friends." Jacob felt his heart drop clear out of his chest. This was it…_


	12. Not Seeing the Rest of You

**A/N: **Brownie points to anyone who recognizes the source of this chapter's title. Makes me grin every single time.

I really love the end of this chapter. Poor, confused Jake and Nessie.

Thanks for reading, and an extra special thanks to everyone who listed this story as a favorite! I'm thrilled by the number of hits this story's getting. I'd love it if more of you readers would review… but I guess I've been known to do the same thing. So no sad face… not today anyway.

Enjoy!

~Crit.

**Chapter 12: Not Seeing the Rest of You is Getting the Best of Me**

It had been weeks since their big fight over Nessie's new friend and, with the exception of the occasional bout of strange behavior on Renesmee's part, Jacob was feeling pretty decent about the way things had been going since then. Not that he was exactly thrilled that he'd agreed to let Renesmee go running around town with Scholar Boy, or that he had to act like he loved the idea, but at least Renesmee seemed happy (if sometimes a little secretive and odd), and relieved that there was no tension over her new friend. Of course, Jacob _was_ tense… every minute that she was off with him seemed like several hours to the Wolf, and his more basic instincts kept telling him to just deal with the problem in the most simple and savage of ways. But the power of the imprint, infinitely more complex and subtle than his wolf instincts, compelled him to tolerate the guy, and even be pleasant, because it was what would make Renesmee happiest.

Aside from the boy, Renesmee had made another friend. Jacob was relieved to find out that this one was a girl. He hadn't met her, but she seemed okay, if not a bit spoiled, and Renesmee seemed genuinely happy to have a girl to talk to besides her family members. Jacob knew there were things about Renesmee that, as a guy, he'd never understand or be able to help her with. He was glad she had someone now with whom she could identify on that level, even if it did take her away from him more often that he'd like.

It irked Jacob that he and Renesmee didn't really get to spend all that much time alone with each other. He'd assumed, when they moved into the loft, that they would be together all the time. Despite his promise to Edward, he'd sort of hoped some progress might be made towards making Renesmee see him as a viable contender in the category of 'Romantic Partners'. Not that he intended to break his deal with the vampire, but it certainly wouldn't hurt if things got mostly sorted out now, while they had time apart from Renesmee's family. Then they would be able to start their life together as soon as they were reunited with the Cullens and the Pack, and Jacob's agreement with Edward had expired.

He saw now that things would most definitely not be unfolding that way. First, there was the issue of Bella's violent impulses towards him. He had been concerned enough by Edward's threats, but knowing how Bella was feeling about him and Renesmee living together was enough to make Jacob's blood run cold (not an easy feat when one runs at a steady temperature of one hundred and eight). He hadn't been prepared for such a vehement objection from his one-time best friend. He also hadn't anticipated the fact that Renesmee might have outside interests, becoming an obstacle herself to the process of acknowledging their bond. And now, Jacob had to admit that he was beginning to doubt what he had once thought of as an inevitability: that he and Renesmee would end up together, sooner rather than later.

It wasn't as if he hadn't been patient. Jacob had waited for seventeen years, which normally wouldn't seem like long enough for someone to grow from a baby into a grown woman, but in Renesmee's case was simply ages. She'd been fully grown now for nearly five years, and Jacob had spent those years cordoning off his every thought, word and action so as not to upset her, her parents or the rest of the Cullen clan. Mentally, physically, Renesmee had been whole and grown for a long time. But her emotional growth was lagging behind, and Jacob sometimes had to wonder if that wasn't the result of her upbringing rather than her physiology. She'd been impossibly sheltered, and he'd been partially responsible for it… and now he was paying the price.

What Jacob found most upsetting of all was the change he'd witnessed in her in recent weeks. Since they'd made their move, there had been a sort of awakening in Renesmee. He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when the change had begun, but he noticed it just the same. She was more cautious now with her words and the way she acted, a bit more guarded and secretive than before. Until recently, their friendship had always been very physical; they would scrap or shove each other playfully, walk hand-in-hand or arm in arm, hug and kiss each other on the cheek when the situation warranted. Now she barely touched him, and when she did she always retreated quickly, almost guiltily, like she knew she shouldn't be doing it. Jacob missed the physical contact with his imprint more than he could express, and not just because of his attraction to her. It had been a genuine sign of their closeness as _friends_, completely apart from any romantic ulterior motive on his part, and he felt the loss of that part of their relationship like a blow to his side.

Jacob had also noticed that Renesmee took more time getting dressed in the morning, doing her hair and make up every day instead of her usual chapstick and ponytail routine. It had what he assumed was the desired effect: she looked absolutely beautiful, more mature and put together, like a gorgeous, confident woman rather than a cute, kind of goofy teenager.

Not that Jacob had had a problem with the way Renesmee used to look. He'd always thought she was stunning, even in sneakers and a hoody with no make-up at all. He'd liked the goofy-kid-Renesmee, and it made him happy in a wistful sort of way when that same down-to-earth girl shone through her new, polished persona (which actually happened a lot more than she probably intended it to). But he liked this gorgeous creature just as much… and maybe a lot more, in a really different way.

When he thought it over, all of the changes in their relationship and in Renesmee herself seemed to roughly coincide with her becoming friends with Rideau. Jacob wasn't stupid, and he figured he knew exactly why this was happening. It didn't exactly thrill him that Renesmee was probably falling for the jerk, either, but he knew that if he wanted to keep his promise to his friend, he had to stay out of it.

He knew there had always been the possibility that Renesmee would meet and fall in love with someone else, and from the way he'd understood it the imprint would adjust to accommodate that, allowing him to function in whatever capacity Renesmee needed him to. He'd assumed that meant that he would no longer feel attracted to her romantically or sexually, and simply retain his strong feelings of friendship towards her. No fuss, no muss.

Boy, had he been wrong.

Every time he thought about the possibility that Renesmee might desert him for this ridiculous human, he felt like he was being torn apart. It took him a while, but he finally realized that it wasn't going to get any better; this was how it felt when your imprint didn't return your affections. He felt like he might go insane at any second, and yet he couldn't bring himself to disobey her wishes or do anything that might cause her to be upset with him again. It was like torture.

Except for when she was with him, and they were alone, and there was no mention of Rideau. Then, if even for just a moment, Jacob could forget the horrible discomfort of watching her fall for another guy and just concentrate on her; her eyes, her lips, her smell, her spirit. Jacob, for the first time, allowed himself to admit that he was _in love_ with Renesmee, really and truly and purely in love. He surrendered to it fully, enjoyed it when he could, and in the times when he couldn't enjoy it, allowed it to stop him from doing anything foolish or acting like a complete jerk.

One evening late in October, Jacob came home from seeing a movie alone to find Renesmee and Rideau sitting cross-legged on the floor, open books spread out all around them, and an open bottle of wine and two half-empty glasses between them. They both looked up as he came in, and Renesmee moved like she was going to try and hide he glass of wine from sight before sighing and giving a little shrug.

"Hi, Jake," she said a bit sheepishly. Jacob was sure his eyes were bulging out of his head. As far as he knew, Renesmee didn't drink. She'd had a beer once at Seth's 28th birthday party, of which she'd taken two sips before declaring it absolutely vile and handing it to one of the wolves to polish off. That had been four years ago, and he hadn't seen her go anywhere near alcohol since.

"Hey," he said, trying to sound casual. He nodded at Rideau, who nodded back. "What're you guys up to?" he walked over and glanced down at the books they were working with. "More thesis work?"

Renesmee nodded, cradling the bell of her wine glass in her fingers. "Rideau offered to help me flesh out my topic, so we've been browsing books for hours over a few glasses of wine. I think I'm just about done with this for tonight." She looked up at Jacob with a slightly glazed expression. "You want some wine?"

Jacob would have laughed if he wasn't so furious… Renesmee was at the very least tipsy, if not well on her way to toasted. He felt like he'd been ripped off… as her best friend, he should have been the first one to help her get shit-faced. But no… that prize went to Rideau. _The little turd._ Jacob decided not to be a pill and, laughing, replied, "I want at least as much as you've had."

Rideau, who looked a fair bit less toasted than Renesmee but still appeared to have had a few, said, "Shouldn't be a problem… she hasn't had all that much."

"Yeah!" Renesmee replied indignantly, getting to her feet. "I haven't!" She swayed a little as she stood, reaching out to steady herself on the closest thing, which happened to be Jacob, before she started for the kitchen, returning with a glass for him. She filled it far too full and handed it over before reclaiming her place on the floor. Jacob downed it in one swig. Usually, he would have at least tried to act civilized by sipping at it politely, but being in this situation with the two of them was making him extremely uncomfortable. With that thought, he decided things would probably work out best for everybody involved if he removed himself from the scene.

"I should let you two get back to studying," he said, making for the stairs. "I'll be in my room."

"No," Renesmee said, grabbing the cuff of his pants from where she sat on the floor like a small child. "Come on, Jake… hang out with us! We're done studying… it'll be fun!" He looked down and could tell from her face that she wanted nothing more than to hang out and talk over a bottle of wine with her two best friends. _Damn it_.

"Okay," he said, sinking to the floor himself, "I'll take another."

oooOOOooo

It had been at least an hour, and they'd polished off the first bottle and half of the second, and Jacob was nowhere near drunk. They'd mostly spent the time listening to Renesmee talk on and on about her family, omitting any references to blood or wolves with a practiced ease, even in her altered state: fixing cars with Jacob and Rosalie, hunting trips with her "Brothers" Jasper and Emmett ("He took down a _bear_?" Rideau had asked incredulously. "What did you guys _do_ with it?"), surfing at First Beach with Seth and Embry. Rideau had listened to her with an attentive air, Jacob noticed with some irritation. He had to hand it to the guy, though; he seemed to be trying really hard to bury the hatchet between them, and even though Jacob knew it was probably just because Rideau figured it would make Renesmee happy, he had to respect the effort he was making. He still didn't like him, but he could at least pretend to be a bit friendlier than usual while they were being forced to hang out.

Around the end of the second bottle, Renesmee started to look a bit wilted, and Jacob met Rideau's eye with a pointed look. The other man stood up with a bit of difficulty and said, "I think it's probably time for me to make my way home. It's getting really late."

Renesmee struggled to her feet as well, and Jacob noticed she avoided using him as a steadying post this time. "Are you sure?" she said, sounding a bit concerned. "You don't have to… you could stay here. I mean, we've got space." Jacob almost lost it at that point, and removed himself to the kitchen, picking up the glasses and bottle as a cover. He heard Rideau politely refuse the offer as he strode from the room… _good_. It was enough to hang out with the guy and pretend to be okay with it, but there was no way he was going to let the little usurper sleep under their roof.

He leaned against the kitchen counter, trying to stop his brain from twitching. He'd narrowly succeeding in foiling what he was sure was Rideau's plan to seduce Renesmee… this time. A late-night study session, an empty loft, a couple bottles of wine… what else could it be? And Renesmee had seemed like she was enjoying herself when Jacob came home and interrupted. But she _had_ asked him to stay and hang out with them. Maybe she wasn't ready to be seduced just yet? He felt relieved at that… he didn't know what he would have done if she'd indicated she wanted to be alone with Rideau.

He heard the door shut and the deadbolt clang into place, and then Renesmee padded clumsily into the kitchen, untwisting her hair from its decorative clip. "I hope he gets home okay," she mused, sounding a bit concerned.

"I'm sure he'll be fine," Jacob said a bit bitterly, "He's like thirty-something… he's probably had a few glasses of wine and had to stumble home many times in his adult life."

"_You're_ thirty-something," She replied, "Do _you_ stumble home drunk on a regular basis?"

Jacob rolled his eyes. "You know I don't. It takes too much alcohol to get me drunk… I'd wreck my liver if I did it too often."

Renesmee sighed and slumped against the doorframe. "I didn't mean to get drunk tonight," she said, sounding miserable, "I just didn't know it would be so easy. I kind of thought I'd be like you, that it would take a lot… but I guess I'm more human than I thought." Jacob had to laugh at that… sometimes she _was_ more human than any of them realized.

"C'mon," he said, taking her by one arm and steering her back into the living room towards the stairs. "Go on up to your room and get yourself ready for bed… I'll bring you some water and a couple Tylenols."

"I feel okay," she insisted as she climbed the stairs crookedly, "I don't have a headache."

"You will," Jacob said sagely as he went to pour her some water. He headed upstairs after getting the glass and the pills, went into his own room to pull on some sweats and a soft cotton shirt, and then knocked on Renesmee's door.

"Come in," she called a bit foggily. Jacob did as he was told, and then burst out in quiet laughter when he saw that she was sprawled across the bed, face-down in her best imitation of a starfish. He sat down at her side, in the 'L' formed by her right arm and leg, and tapped her on the back, holding the glass of water next to her head. Lazily, she rolled onto her side and took the water, pulling her pajama-clad knees up to her chest and propping her head up on the mound of pillows at her headboard. Jacob offered her the pills, which she took and swallowed quickly. "Thanks," she said after she'd downed the whole glass of water. Jacob shrugged.

"It's water… it's free."

Renesmee smacked him lightly on his arm. "I meant for hanging out tonight. I'm really glad you were there. I want you guys to get along. You're my best friend, and Reed's my best friend who isn't you. So he's important, too." She sighed. "It's good when everyone's happy."

Jacob didn't feel anywhere near as happy as Renesmee seemed to think he did, but he sighed and patted her shoulder. He knew he was pushing his luck, but she seemed to be comfortable with the same physical closeness they used to have, and he couldn't help but relish in it. "Yeah. That's always good," he agreed. Renesmee blinked up at him, propping herself up on one elbow to look into his face.

"I want us to always be friends, okay?" She said, and her cheerful expression faltered. "Even if… if something happens that one of us doesn't want to happen. I… I just always want us to be best friends." Jacob felt his heart drop clear out of his chest. This was it… she was admitting to him that she wanted to be with Rideau. She was trying to ask him for his blessing, to find out if she could pursue a relationship with someone else and still keep Jacob as a friend. Maybe she knew how he felt about her, maybe not, but all the same she felt the need to inform him.

What could he possibly say? If this was what she really wanted, he couldn't stop her. She'd dated boys before, and he'd never been this disturbed by it; but then, she'd never acted this strangely before, never changed the way she acted around _him_. Something was different this time. Obviously, this mattered to her. Jacob realized that he had only two choices: Agree to be her friend no matter what, or lose her. He could object, he could get angry and alienate himself from her, or he could agree to stay friends forever and have at least a bit of her left in his life.

He reached for her hand and took it, feeling how cool and tiny it was in his own. Her fingers were shaking, and he ran his thumb over them instinctively, wanting to comfort and sooth her. "Nessie," he said, looking into her eyes. "I will always be here for you. We're always going to be friends. No matter what."

Renesmee closed her eyes, and for a moment Jacob though he saw a look of intense pain and longing flit across her face. But then she looked at him again and it was gone, and she smiled a small smile and squeezed his hand. "I'm sleepy," she admitted, then grimaced. "I hate falling asleep."

"What'd'you mean?" Jacob asked. It seemed like such a strange thing to say; what was not to like about falling asleep? Renesmee flipped over onto her back.

"I've just always hated it," she said. "Going to bed was always bad enough, but that moment right before going under, when you know you're gonna lose it and you can't help it… it was always my least favorite part of the day, because I knew then I'd be away from everybody for as long as my body decided to be unconscious. I always woke up feeling like I'd missed a part of life. It's why I always liked staying at your house whenever I was allowed… because then there was you and Leah and Seth and Embry, and we'd all be asleep together and I wasn't the weird one and it wasn't lonely."

Jacob couldn't believe he'd never considered that Renesmee might feel bad about being the only one in her family who had to sleep. She'd never mentioned it before, so he'd always assumed it didn't bother her. It was no wonder they called alcohol truth serum. "Well, if it helps you at all, I'll be going to sleep just on the other side of the wall."

Renesmee smiled a bit sadly. "It helps… but it's still the loneliest time of day. I guess it's always going to be." Jacob hated the way her voice sounded, so resigned and melancholy.

"I can stay, if you want," he said, "Just until you're under. Then I'll go to my room and go right to sleep, so you won't be missing out on anything, not even good late-night TV watching." Renesmee looked at him seriously.

"You don't mind?" She said, sounding very young. Jacob smiled down at her and shook his head.

"Not at all."

Renesmee's smile was sleepy and content; Jacob didn't imagine it would be long before she was out like a light. She closed her eyes and opened them a few times before they stayed shut. And just as her breathing was starting to even out, she made a soft, contented noise, squeezed his hand and said, "I can't wait for the future."

And then she was asleep, leaving Jacob to ponder exactly what she imagined her future to be.

_**In the next chapter:**_

"_I'll get that," Jacob said graciously, reaching for the handset. "Hello? Oh, hey Edward."_

_ Renesmee sat up straight. Her father. She could not deal with him right now. "No, no, no," she mouthed silently at Jacob, waving her hands back and forth to reinforce her point. Jacob raised an eyebrow._

_ "Uh, Nessie's not here… the library. Yeah, she's working really hard. No, she's not… I think she just likes it." He gave her a thumbs up, and Renesmee slumped back against the sofa cushions. She listened carefully; with her advanced hearing, she could easily make out her father's end of the conversation. _

_ "Do you have a few minutes to talk, Jacob?" Edward asked in a somewhat troubled tone. "I need to speak with you."_


	13. Imprint

**A/N:** Here's a really long chapter for you all to enjoy.

Jake and Nessie's relationship is definitely going to change, for better or worse, after this chapter. It's been a lot of fun writing how it all goes down =)

Thanks for reading… please review!

Enjoy!

~Crit.

**Chapter 13: Imprint**

Renesmee awoke with a pounding headache and a dry, horrible taste in her mouth. Light was streaming through her window, so she gather she must have slept for much longer than usual. Sure enough, the clock on her cell phone, when she thought to look at it, read 12:28pm in bold digital numerals. Had she slept through anything important, she wondered, was it a day that she had a morning class? No… her brain registered the day: Saturday, thank god. She moaned and rolled over, burying her face in her pillow. Why did anybody drink wine, ever?

Slowly, she began to recall exactly what had happened the previous evening. Or at least a slightly fuzzy version of the night's events. Rideau had shown up with a stack of books in one hand and a paper sac full of wine in the other, proposing that their study session might be a little more enjoyable if they did it over some civilized drinks. Not being much of a drinker, Renesmee had sipped gently at first, but soon she'd felt herself warming up to the smooth, red drink. It was nothing at all like blood, except perhaps in colour, but it was rich and bold and tasty, and didn't disgust her with any awful textures. And Rideau had been right; studying was more fun with a friend and some drinks.

She hadn't even realized she was getting tipsy until Jacob showed up, at which point she felt suddenly very self-conscious. He hadn't really seemed impressed with her, either, almost storming off after slamming back a glass of wine himself. She'd been so distraught at the idea that he was about to go off all disappointed in her behavior that she'd practically begged him to stay, even though she knew for a fact he wouldn't want to hang around with her and Rideau. But she'd needed to prove to him that she wasn't drunk and sloppy… she wanted him to be there, and to feel as good as she did, and to have fun with her friends.

In the end, it had gone okay… at least, she thought so. She couldn't really remember Rideau leaving but assumed that he was okay. What she did remember was going up to bed, and Jacob following her, and…

She sat straight up in bed, instantly regretting it when her head spun with a dangerous ferocity. Jacob had been there when she fell asleep. He'd had to put her to bed. She couldn't remember the specifics of their conversation, but she remembered the rushes of emotion she'd felt when she looked up into his warm eyes, and she remembered thinking she should shut up and then continuing to say things to him anyway. What had she said? Exactly how much had she told him?

Jacob was downstairs on the sofa when she finally emerged, flipping through the automotive pages of the Times. He looked up as she descended the stairs and gave her a wicked grin.

"ABOUT TIME!" He shouted as loudly as he could, the huge space and vaulted ceilings of the loft working with him to make his voice echo and resonate with a vengeance. Renesmee flinched as her head pounded in response.

"Ow," she muttered, flopping down on the other end of the sofa.

"HOW DID YOU SLEEP?" Jacob said, his voice still booming like a stadium announcer. She glared at him.

"Like the dead. And cut that out."

"CUT WHAT OUT?" He shouted with a look of mock-innocence. Renesmee just shook her head.

"That is _so_ not cute, Jake." He laughed at her then, softly, and folded his section of newspaper, setting it on the table.

"Sorry," he said at a reduced volume, "But that's what you get for partying too hard."

"I wasn't partying," she said lamely, "I was studying."

He chuckled again. "Yeah, I'm sure it was real productive."

"Actually, it was… before _you_ got there. We got a good portion of my topic sorted out, and I've got a pretty good list of ideas now. Reed was really on a roll… I feel like such a dope for getting tipsy and wrecking our stride." She frowned slightly. "Um, Jake… did I say or do anything really humiliating last night?"

Jacob's face was completely blank for a moment, and then he took on an almost embarrassed expression. "I was sure you'd just blank it out," he said seriously, "but now that you ask… yeah."

Renesmee felt like her face was on fire. "What… uh, what did I do?" She really couldn't remember, and from the look on Jacob's face, it must have been pretty bad.

"Well, you… you were pretty gone, and you…" he paused and eyed her carefully, "You sure you wanna hear this?" She nodded, even though she was anything but, and Jacob sighed. "You decided it would be a good idea to take off your clothes and dance on the coffee table to Britney Spears. I tried to convince you that it was a bad idea, but—" at this point, Renesmee stopped him with a good, hard smack on the arm.

"Jacob, that's not funny!" She cried, feeling simultaneously relieved and pissed off. Jacob collapsed into loud guffaws.

"Well _I'm_ having loads of fun!" He said through his laughter. Renesmee just stared at him with her arms crossed and eyes narrowed until he settled down and said, "No, Nessie, you didn't do anything even remotely weird or embarrassing. In fact, you make a perfectly charming drunk."

"Oh, ha ha," she said, although she definitely felt much better at hearing him say that. "So are you planning on picking on me all day, or are you finished?"

Jacob shrugged. "I think I'm about out of tricks. Coffee for your poor head?" Renesmee responded with a grateful moan, and he headed for the kitchen, coming back a moment later with two steaming mugs. "I put sugar in yours. Trust me… you'll want it." He handed her the coffee. "No cow juice, though."

"Thanks." Renesmee took a sip of coffee and closed her eyes. "That is so delicious I can't even stand it." Jacob chuckled.

"Addict." The phone rang, a little too loudly for Renesmee's liking. "I'll get that," Jacob said graciously, reaching for the handset. "Hello? Oh, hey Edward."

Renesmee sat up straight. Her father. She could _not_ deal with him right now. "_No, no, no,_" she mouthed silently at Jacob, waving her hands back and forth to reinforce her point. Jacob raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, Nessie's not here… the library. Yeah, she's working really hard. No, she's not… I think she just likes it." He gave her a thumbs up, and Renesmee slumped back against the sofa cushions. She listened carefully; with her advanced hearing, she could easily make out her father's end of the conversation.

"Do you have a few minutes to talk, Jacob?" Edward asked in a somewhat troubled tone. Renesmee furrowed her brow. Why did he sound like that?

"Yeah, sure," Jacob replied. Then he looked quickly between Renesmee and the stairs. "Give me a minute…" He shot Renesmee a quick smile before bounding up the stairs. She frowned after him. That was strange… why didn't Jacob want her to hear his conversation with her father?

Renesmee toyed with the idea of picking up the extension for half a minute, before realized that not only would that be an extreme invasion of privacy, but they would both certainly hear her coming onto the line. Still, she couldn't quell her curiosity, and decided to take a walk upstairs to her room. Could she help it if she ended up loitering outside Jacob's door?

His voice was muffled but still audible, and Renesmee noted with some dismay that it was practically dripping with sarcasm, and a good measure of hostility. "Not that I don't appreciate the check-up call, Ed, but I don't think you really have to worry anymore." A pause, during which Renesmee assumed her father was responding. "Well, it isn't like that, Edward. And I'm thinking now it probably never will be." Another pause. "I just know, alright." And then, at the same volume but much, much more intense, "Because she's in love."

Renesmee felt the room spin around her. She was going to be sick. Jacob and her father couldn't possibly be talking about anyone other than her, and given that she could barely remember their drunken conversation in her bedroom the night before, she was pretty sure she knew what Jacob was telling him. She couldn't believe it. She'd told Jacob everything, in her altered state. And now he was pretending she hadn't said anything at all, hoping she wouldn't remember making the confession. Probably hoping it would just disappear. Why else would he have told her she didn't say or do anything embarrassing? And now here he was, telling her _father_, of all people. Renesmee had never felt so dejected and betrayed in all her life.

"She told me," Jacob was saying, and he sounded almost as terrible as she felt. "Last night. No, it's not. No." Another pause. "Would you just hold on a minute? Christ, if _I_ can deal with this like a sane person, so can you." Another, much longer pause. "No, Edward. I am most definitely not okay."

Renesmee felt like her legs might give out. Jacob was clearly not excited at the revelation that she was in love with him. He sounded, in fact, like he'd just gotten the worst possible news. Was she that disgusting? She hadn't been exactly certain that Jacob would reciprocate her feelings, but she'd never anticipated his revulsion at the idea. Was it because she was part vampire? Did her messed-up breeding make him feel that way? Or was it just _her_?

Jacob was still talking. Renesmee tried to push back the wave of pain that was washing over her so that she could hear what else he had to say. After all, if she was going to know how he felt, she might as well hear everything right from the start. There was no sense in delaying her misery. "Look, I don't _know_ how it happened. She's been spending a lot of time with this guy… I don't know, just some guy she has class with. She thinks he's just _great_." The last part was said with a huge amount of sarcasm. Renesmee was now officially confused… they could only be talking about Rideau, but why? This had nothing to do with him. "I already told you, I don't know _how_ it happened. The guy's clearly hung up on her… You think I didn't try? She fought me tooth and nail. Clearly he's important enough to her that my opinion of him doesn't matter. She's been acting all weird, trying to impress him I guess. And then last night, he was over here, and after he left she basically told me how she felt. She wanted to know if I'd still be her friend if something happened between them." Jacob paused again, and then said, "Of course I said yes. What else could I possibly say? Imprint or not, I'm always going to be her friend… no stupid _human_ is going to change that."

Renesmee supposed she should be accustomed by now to her traitorous mind trying to trick her in to an uncomfortable misunderstanding. It was just like the dream, when she'd felt so sure she'd lost Jacob for good, only to realized that she'd had him all along. Jacob wasn't upset because he thought she was in love with him… he was upset because he thought she was in love with somebody else. And if he felt that strongly about the possibility of her falling for someone, maybe that meant…

This time, her legs actually did give way, and she sat down shakily in the hallway outside of her best friend's door. Did Jacob have feelings for her? Maybe that was why he'd sounded like Edward was interrogating him earlier in the conversation… her father knew the way he felt, and didn't approve. Renesmee was so utterly confused and bewildered that she couldn't enjoy the feeling of pure elation that was creeping up on her, although it was certainly a noticeable and welcome change from her earlier feeling of dread. Why would Jacob tell her father, of all people? He had to know how Edward would react to something like that.

The answer came almost as quickly as the question: Jacob hadn't told Edward… he hadn't needed to. Her father must have heard something in Jacob's thoughts, and it must have been _before_ they left. How long had this been going on? And how come neither Jacob nor her father had said anything? Renesmee felt a surge of annoyance at that; all her life she'd had to guard herself from her father's ability, there had never been a moment's peace except when she was with Jacob, away from everyone else, and neither her father or her aunt were able to spy on them. It was bad enough that Edward could always hear her, but when she thought about him invading Jacob's privacy, particularly with regards to this situation, it made her want to spit. Other girls were allowed to fall in love with their best friends, and have those same friends love them back, without having to deal with their fathers' reactions until much further along the line. How come _she_ got stuck with the mind-reader? And poor Jacob… how hard it must have been for him, trying not to let Edward in on what he was thinking and feeling. Renesmee had a sudden, territorial urge to burst into the room, take the phone and tell her father to butt out.

"Yeah, okay," Jacob said. He hadn't spoken for a while, and Renesmee had almost forgotten, in her extreme shock, that she was spying on a private conversation. Startled, she shook her head and picked herself up as quietly as she possibly could. Jacob gave a short bark of laughter and said, "Yeah, well… not half as sorry as I am. Okay… talk to you later. Bye." Renesmee's eyes widened and she darted quickly towards her own bedroom. She wanted to wait for Jacob to come back out into the hall and run straight into his arms and tell him that it was okay, that she didn't love Rideau, that it was _him_ she was in love with. But she didn't want him to know how she'd abused his trust by spying on his conversation with her father, and besides, she figured it was best if she came up with a plan of action first. Slower was probably better, in this case.

She felt a slow grin begin to spread across her face as she stood behind the shelter of her closed door. She didn't want to get ahead of herself… if this whole mix-up taught her anything, it was that these sort of emotional connections could be easily misinterpreted. She tried to school herself to not buy into her assumption that Jacob was really in love with her, but it was impossible. Her mind was flying in a dozen directions all at once, and it was difficult to slow it down, seeing how she didn't really want to in the first place.

She heard Jacob's door open, and his footsteps on the stairs. "Sorry, Nessie," he called out, "Your dad just wanted to check up on you, and you know how thorough he can be… where'd you go?"

"Getting dressed!" She called hastily from behind her closed door, and then charged into her closet. She'd have to throw some clothes on quickly to back up her alibi. She hastily struggled into the first half-decent outfit within her reach and took a quick look in the mirror, stopping to pull back her hair into a low twist. She cursed under her breath at her reflection… she looked okay, considering the night she'd had, but not as good as she knew she could. It would have been better if she could knock him off his feet with how beautiful she was… but then again, this was Jacob. He'd seen her in all states of disarray before. And if he did, in fact, have feelings for her it obviously didn't matter to him that she sometimes looked a bit of a mess. She smoothed down her hair once more, threw on a coat of chapstick, and headed for the door.

She almost ran smack into Jacob when she stepped into the hall, pulling up short just in time to avoid an embarrassing face-to-chest collision. Jacob practically flew backwards to avoid touching her, and Renesmee felt herself blush. "Jeez, Jake," she muttered, "Lurk much?"

"Ha ha." He looked down at her; if he'd been as upset during his phone conversation as he'd sounded, he certainly didn't show it now. Renesmee wondered how often the cheerful, carefree Jacob she was used to was actually a mask, used to cover up some deeper, more complex emotion. "How's your head… any better for the coffee?"

"Yes, thank god," She said honestly, and it was true: her headache was almost completely gone. Probably another perk of her extra-strong vampire physiology. "I feel great now. Looks like you're going to have to find something else to amuse yourself with, seeing as torturing me over last night's error in judgment is no longer an option."

There!; a tiny flicker of something flitted across Jacob's face when she mentioned the previous night. Was it because of her supposed confession of love for Rideau? She didn't see how Jacob could possibly have thought she was interested in her new friend. All they ever did was study and go for coffee… yes, she liked him, but in a purely platonic way. But she supposed that she might feel the same if their roles were reversed. She'd just have to find some way to carefully point out her lack of interest in the other man. In _any_ man besides Jacob himself.

"I was kind of thinking I might just spend the day watching some TV, maybe call the pack, just, you know… hang out in my room." Jacob was avoiding her eyes… another sign. "I'm sure you've got plans. You studying today?"

Renesmee saw an opportunity and seized it. "Well, Rideau mentioned yesterday that we might go to a different library today, find some more resources for my paper and some things that he needs… but I've been studying with him so much recently, I think maybe I need a break."

Jacob evidently couldn't hide his surprise at this, but he covered it well. "You need a break from studying? YOU?"

Renesmee rolled her eyes and swatted him on the arm, unable to resist letting her hand linger for a moment before pulling it away. "Scoff if you will, but I mean it. Besides, it's the weekend… I'm in class all week, and I'm barely home. I thought maybe we could do something together today… just the two of us." She gave him her most charming smile.

Jacob was clearly interested in making things difficult. "Won't Rideau be disappointed if you cancel on him?"

Renesmee just shrugged. "He'll survive. I'm sure he's got much better things to do, and besides, I want to hang out with you today." She walked past him and towards the stairs. "Unless you're really serious about watching TV all day."

She could tell by the surprised silence that she'd caught Jacob off guard. Good… that meant he hadn't been expecting her to be so dismissive about canceling her plans with Rideau. Which, in turn, meant that she was probably right in her interpretation of his conversation with her father: Jacob thought she was in love with her new friend, and it upset him because he had feelings for her.

"I guess I could be convinced to come out of my cave," Jacob said, following behind her. She didn't look back at him, but she could tell from the sound of his voice that he was smiling. Maybe she'd succeeded in making her point. "What did you want to do?" They'd reached the kitchen, and Renesmee was pouring herself another coffee. She turned to him with a very serious expression.

"Don't laugh, okay?" she said as a disclaimer. Jacob shrugged, as if to say he couldn't make any promises. She sighed. "Well, it's been almost two months since we got here. I've been eating red meat for the whole time, and all the side dishes that go along with it, and… I think I might be ready for Pizza."

Jacob, naturally, cracked up. "Excellent," he said when he was done laughing at her. "It's about time. I know the perfect place. Don't worry, Nessie… I know you're nervous about this, but believe me when I say you're in capable hands."

She just rolled her eyes. "Don't make me regret this, Jacob. None of those weird little fish, okay?"

He just guffawed again and turned on his heel. "Give me a minute… I'm gonna grab my coat, and then we'll go." He bounded up the stairs with an energy that could only be ascribed to excitement, and Renesmee smiled fondly to herself.

She could do this.

oooOOOooo

They ended up at a pizzeria near the park. Jacob ordered a huge pie for both of them, with Pepperoni, bacon and onions; nothing too crazy where texture was concerned, for which Renesmee was grateful. It arrived, thin-crusted and well-browned, and she had to admit it smelled delicious.

"Focus on the taste," Jacob reminded her. "There's no way you can possibly object to it if you do."

She tried her level best to think away her discomfort regarding the slimy, oozing cheese, the crispy crust and the oddly slippery onions. It _did_ taste incredible. The first piece almost got her gag reflex, but after forcing it down, Renesmee found she actually wanted to try another one. Jacob watched her like she was a scientific specimen, one upon which the future of the human race depended. His face was hopeful and apprehensive at the same time, and when she'd finished off her second slender slice of pie, he said, "So?"

Renesmee shrugged and gave him a small, sheepish smile. "Okay, so it's pretty good," she admitted. Jacob made a loud, triumphant noise, garnering some looks from nearby diners, and she laughed at him. "You're taking this as a personal victory, aren't you?"

He nodded vigorously. "All these years, you've been insulting the noble pizza pie. I think you owe somebody an apology." He looked at her pointedly.

"Okay. I'm sorry Jacob… You were right, pizza is delicious."

"Good. Now apologize to the pie."

She reached for another slice, and then grinned. "Sorry," she said facetiously before taking a giant, vicious bite. Jacob shook his head.

"Savage."

"Your point?" Renesmee chewed with renewed zeal. This was exactly what she wanted: the two of them laughing and joking and having a good time, just like normal. Except now, she had a pretty good idea that there was something more between them, something that neither of them was admitting to but hopefully would, and soon.

After lunch, they took a walk in the park. It was busy, being Saturday and relatively mild and sunny for late October. Someone had built a makeshift pumpkin patch, and kids were running around through the scattered hay, picking out the perfect orange gourd with their parents.

"Should we get a pumpkin for Hallowe'en?" Renesmee mused. Jacob shrugged.

"Why not? We're doing the mainstreaming thing… might as well go all the way." He grinned. "That means costumes, too."

Renesmee rolled her eyes. She'd always stayed home from school on Hallowe'en as a kid. "What, actually being part vampire isn't scary enough, now I've got to put on a cape and silly plastic teeth?"

"You have to admit, it's worth it for the irony alone."

She laughed and threaded her arm through Jacob's, noting his surprise at the contact. She'd been keeping her distance since she'd realized her feelings for her best friend, but now it seemed like she'd almost done herself a disservice in doing so. She vowed to renew their typical level of physical contact. Maybe Jacob would get the hint. "I love autumn," she said wistfully. "I don't think I could ever live in a place where the seasons don't change the way they do here. Can you imagine a fall without the trees changing colour?"

"No," Jacob admitted, "I really can't. And I don't think I could do without the forests. I think we're doomed to stay north of the equator for all time."

"Fine by me," Renesmee replied, smiling. "It's not like either one of us feels the cold, anyway." The conversation had started to sound dangerously close to making plans for the future. Renesmee couldn't ignore the warm rush she felt at the idea of them living together down the line, not as roommates or as student and chaperone, but as lovers, co-parents, husband and wife. She tightened her arm around his ever-so-slightly. Her pocket started to issue a high, tinny tune, and she almost cursed out loud. "Hang on," she said, reluctantly pulling away from Jacob so that she could reach her phone in her jacket pocket. She looked at the caller ID on the screen: Rideau Linley. _Crap_. She mouthed a quick 'Sorry' to Jacob before hitting the accept button. "Hello?"

"Hi," Rideau's voice was chipper. "How's it going?"

"Good," she said, fretting over how she was going to weasel out of their plans. She'd meant to call, but she'd gotten so caught up with the whole Jacob situation that she'd forgotten. "You?"

"Great. We still on for the library?"

Renesmee made a regretful noise and said, "Actually, I meant to call you… as it turns out, I'm spending the day with Jacob. Is it okay if we hit the library some other time?"

There was a pause on Rideau's end of the line, and then he said, "Sure, no problem. Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Renesmee was a bit confused by his question, "Everything's fine. Listen, I've got to go. See you Monday?"

"Of course. Take care, okay?"

"Yeah, you too." She hit the end button and shoved her phone back into her pocket. She looked over at Jacob… he was trying unsuccessfully to hide a scowl.

"Was that Anthropology Boy?" he asked sarcastically, even thought Renesmee knew very well that he knew who she'd been talking to. She was anxious to convince Jacob that she wasn't romantically interested in Rideau, but she was still unwilling to let him bash her new friend, so she gave him a warning look.

"Be nice," she said, "I ditched him so we could hang out. Try to be a gracious victor." Jacob laughed shortly.

"Ha! Some victory!"

"Yeah, well, you could do worse," Renesmee pointed out.

On their way home from the park, they stopped by the video store and rented a few movies, deciding to stay in and relax for the night. They grilled a few steaks, put them on trays, and set up camp in front of the television in the living room, which was smaller than the one in Jacob's room but still large enough to be called massive. Renesmee made sure to sit on the same couch as Jacob. If television had taught her anything, it was that watching movies on the couch was the perfect setting for putting the moves on someone. Not that she'd ever expected to be putting those moves on her best friend, but she supposed stranger things had happened.

Half way through the movie, which was an action-thriller with lots of explosions and tense car-chases, Renesmee had managed to inch her way towards the middle of the couch, directly beside Jacob, and after leaning forward to replace the remote on the coffee table she repositioned herself so that she was leaning against him, fitting comfortably into his side. She felt Jacob's body go rigid as she snuggled up against him, and then he relaxed, placing his arm over her shoulders. Renesmee smiled to herself. They stayed that way until the movie finished, sitting stalk-still throughout the end credits until the DVD menu came back up. Renesmee became keenly aware that Jacob was breathing much more heavily than usual, and she could actually feel the gentle pulse of his heart beneath his chest, thrumming at a rather rapid pace. She turned her head to look up at him and realized with a shock that he was staring directly at her, and she wondered how long he'd been doing so. There was something strange and foreign in his eyes; she'd never seen that expression before, and she was both thrilled and terrified by the intensity of it. Their eyes locked, and their faces were very close together. Renesmee could almost anticipate the way it would feel when their lips inevitably met…

"Well," Jacob said, tearing his gaze away and gently lifting her body away from his so that he could squeeze himself past her and off of the couch, "I think I should probably head upstairs for a bit and call the pack. I promised Leah I'd give them a ring today, and if I don't do it soon they'll wonder what the hell happened to me." He swiped a hand through his hair nervously and grabbed their plates and empty drinking glasses from the coffee table, piling them into his arms and rushing off to the kitchen.

"Jacob…" Renesmee called after him, feeling bewildered and hurt.

"I'll… I'll be back down in a bit, okay?" He walked back past her on his way to the stairs and looked at her for one lingering moment. There was a pleading look in his eyes. Renesmee nodded, swallowing hard around the lump in her throat, and then watched as he turned and rushed up the stairs, taking them three at a time.

She had no idea what to think. Everything had been going so well. The whole day had felt like one big date, and just now on the couch they'd been literally centimeters away from kissing. And then Jacob had just bolted, but with the strangest look in his eyes, like he wanted to devour her, or maybe something much more interesting. There was something going on here that she wasn't understanding, and Renesmee felt and angry, impotent frustration at the fact that Jacob and, possibly, her family were hiding things from her. Jacob's conversation with her father earlier had made that abundantly clear.

Unbidden, a phrase from that same conversation came floating to the forefront of her mind. _Imprint or not, I'm always going to be her friend._ Renesmee frowned to herself. She'd been so emotionally fraught at the time that she hadn't really registered those odd words, but now they came back with a vengeance and began to nag at her. "Imprint," she said under her breath, thinking it over. She was sure she'd heard the word used in conversation before, but she couldn't think when. Suddenly, it seemed almost imperative that she remember.

Renesmee sat up straight, putting her hands on her knees, and closed her eyes, breathing deeply. One of the techniques she'd tried to employ on her quest to keep her mind private from her father's gift was meditation. It hadn't worked, exactly, but it had enabled her to better organize her thoughts, accessing them in a much more detached and analytical fashion. She focused on relaxing her body and her brain, and then began repeating the word over and over in her mind: _Imprint. Imprint. Imprint._

_"You imprinted on my BABY?" _

_ "What is this, 'Take Your Underage Imprintee to Work Day'?"_

_ "You're putting your Goddamn IMPRINT before the best interests of this pack!"_

Renesmee's eyes flew open. Her mother, a newborn vampire, flying at her as she sat within the huge, safe hammock of Jacob's arms… Emmett, teasing Quil and Jacob at the garage while she played on the floor with Claire… Leah, raging at Jacob just a few years ago, unaware that Renesmee was approaching the pack house and could hear every word of her tirade… she was the common thread in each of these scenes. More specifically, her in connection with Jacob. But what did it mean?

She wracked her brain for some sort of context. She knew that some animals imprinted on the first living being they saw after being born, becoming attached to that thing as if it were a parent. Was she supposed to have imprinted on Jacob, like some sort of baby bird? That didn't make any sense… she definitely didn't feel like her connection to Jacob was anything like that of a child to a parent, even when she'd been younger.

Renesmee sighed heavily. This was hopeless. She needed more information than what her own mind could provide. She drummed her fingers on her knees as she tried to think of some way to get it. As she caught sight of her cell phone sitting on the coffee table, and idea came to her, and she picked it up. When she looked at the screen, she noticed two missed calls… one from her father's cell phone, and one from the Main house at the compound. She checked the messages quickly.

"Renesmee, it's your father," Edward's voice said. "I would very much appreciate it if you would return my call. I left a message with Jacob earlier… I'm not sure whether he passed it on. Please call when you can." There was a click, and she erased the message. "Renesmee, it's your father," the second message began in exactly the same way. "Please call back. I'd like to speak with you." She deleted that one too. She couldn't deal with a conversation with her father right then and there… hastily, she keyed in a text message: _Got your voicemails. Really busy, will call you tomorrow. Love you._

When the message had sent, she went back to her original task, skimming through her contacts, dialing and speaking quietly so that Jacob wouldn't overhear from inside his room.

"Hey, Reed… it's Ness. That library you wanted to go to today… is it open twenty-four hours? Great… feel like taking a walk?"

Then, she turned off her phone.

_**In the next chapter:**_

_Renesmee was panicking. Her father would kill her if her knew she was talking to complete strangers about their world. Although technically, it was Jacob's world. So really, if anybody had a reason to kill her, it would be Jacob. She had to neutralize this nice old man, and she had to do it quickly._


	14. The Stuff of Legends

**A/N:** Hi guys. I meant to update mid-week, as usual, but real life got in the way of editing. Sorry!

In this chapter: Renesmee meets yet another human with whom she can relate. Woohoo!

I'm glad to have this out of the way… the next three or four chapters after this one were really fun to write, and I think they've probably got a lot of what you've all been waiting for =)

Thanks, as always, for reading. Please review!

Enjoy!

~Crit.

**Chapter 14: The Stuff of Legends**

"Eleven thirty library run," Rideau quipped as Renesmee approached him. He stood up from the bench where he'd been perched, his breath billowing out around his face in a cloud due to the chilly night air. "We live a fast-paced and exciting life."

Renesmee just smiled and passed him a coffee cup. "Here. I figured it was the least I could offer you, after ditching out earlier and then disrupting your Saturday night."

"If by that you mean, disrupting my date with sketch comedy and the couch, then you're right, I've earned this coffee." He took a swig and steered them toward the doors to the building. "But seriously… you're in for a treat. This is by far the best research library I've ever set foot in. And always good for some people-watching… there are usually some pretty great characters in here, especially in the wee small hours."

Renesmee grinned and tried to sound casual. "Great! I just got struck by inspiration." She paused, trying not to sound too invested. "Hey, you think they've got any good books on Native mythology?"

Rideau nodded vehemently. "Oh yeah. They've got a huge mythology section, and loads of books dedicated to indigenous peoples… I've sure there has to be some crossover."

"Cool. This should be fun." She caught him giving her a sideways look as they entered the library. "What?" she said, raising an eyebrow.

Rideau looked a bit worried. "Is everything all right? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm happy to nerd out with you at any hour, but it just seems a bit strange, given that you said earlier you'd be hanging out with Jacob."

Renesmee shook her head, probably looking a bit more irritated than she intended to. "It's fine. We had a…" a what? A sexual-charged moment? A deep emotional episode, cut short? A weird-ass staring contest? "…a fight. I just had to get away for a bit." She smiled sheepishly. "Thanks for keeping me company."

"Don't mention it."

They spent a bit of time finding books from a list they'd made earlier in the week, things they both wanted to find. After several minutes of browsing together, Rideau went off to find a few books he needed, and they made a plan to meet in the work area on the fourth floor when they had both found what they needed. Renesmee quickly looked over the map she'd picked up at the entrance and headed for the proper section.

After a quick computer catalogue search and a once-over of the stacks (at superhuman speed… nobody was anywhere close enough to notice the speed at which her eyes and fingers ran across the spines of the books), Renesmee came away with four or five books in which she figured she might find something. She carefully interspersed them with the books she was already carrying, creating a relatively huge stack which she carted in her arms up to the fourth floor, remembering just in time to look as though she was struggling with the weight. She sat down heavily at the table where Rideau was, already tapping away on his open laptop. He looked up with an arched eyebrow at the mountain of books she'd come back with.

"I hope you can speed read," he said jokingly, "Otherwise you'll be here a while."

Renesmee shrugged and pulled out a legal pad and a pen. Little did he know. "I'll manage." She opened the first book, which had nothing to do with wolves, Quileutes, or imprinting, flipped around, made a few cursory notes, and pushed it aside. The second, which was on the correct subject, ended up being full of intriguing werewolf legends, none of which had anything to do with reality or what she was looking for.

In another book of Native American legends, Renesmee found a Navajo tale revolving around _Yeenaaldlooshii_, or the Skin-Walkers, which this particular text claimed were the basis for the modern concept of the werewolf. That sounded warmer. She turned back to the previous book and searched the index for Yeenaaldlooshii and Navajo legends, instead of Quileute. Nothing about imprinting.

It was the fifth book that did it.

_Certain themes are recurrent among these legends involving changing of form from human to animal. Not to be ignored is the concept of a chosen or predestined mate, chosen by the animal aspect of the creature, by which the race is to be furthered and carried on. Each legend, it seems, has at least one particular story in which the mating habits of these creatures is a vitally important element. Although not much is told with regards to this aspect of the legends, it would seem that the creatures are portrayed as fiercely loyal and attached to their mates, protective and predatory towards any threatening parties. Those who have studied these myths liken the phenomenon to that in nature of an animal's sexual imprint, such as in the case of the zebra finch or wolf spider…_

Renesmee lifted her eyes from the book. A… sexual imprint. Was that what the word had been referring to? No… she knew from the very vague recollection she had that it had meant something more than just sex. The very though of it felt cheap and wrong. She was on the right track… and yet she'd gotten nowhere. She pushed the book away and tried not to sigh loudly with frustration. This wasn't going to get her very far… reference books had to at least make an attempt at being reasonable to get published, and the reality was that most human beings didn't consider talking about werewolves as if you were discussing fact to be reasonable. Maybe the authors of these books felt that they were on to something, maybe some of them even believed it… but they would never have those thoughts published in reference books, as non-fiction, for fear of being discredited or worse.

Sighing again, she quickly jotted down the bibliographical information of the books she'd found her limited information in and put the cap back on her pen. "I've got everything I'm likely to get tonight," she said with a small smile. Rideau peered at her above his laptop screen.

"Me too," he said with a shrug. "Anything helpful?"

"Not especially," she said grudgingly, "but it's a start."

"I hear ya." Rideau tucked his laptop away and stood. "Walk you home?" He offered. Renesmee smiled as she stood up as well, hefted her bag onto her shoulder and walked around the table.

"Thanks."

oooOOOooo

"Andrew O. Prentiss," Renesmee said under her breath. She'd gotten home the previous night to find that Jacob was pissed, thoroughly unimpressed by the note she'd left regarding her late-night study trip to the library. But given his squirrelly behavior from earlier in the evening, Renesmee knew he wouldn't want a confrontation. And she'd been right… after giving her some half-hearted line about worrying for her well-being, he'd skulked back up to his room and shut the door, and they'd both gone to sleep.

Which made her wonder why she was standing in her room now, on a perfectly lovely Sunday morning, phone in hand, about to call some total stranger so that they could help her figure out her _crush_. Andrew O. Prentiss of Stamford, Connecticut had written the least scornful and most informative of the books on Lycanthropy legends she'd found last night, and with a little help from the internet she'd tracked down his listed number. Now all she had to do was dial it, and hope he'd be up for a chat.

"Hello?" Said a low, calm voice, answering after the third ring. Renesmee took a breath, and then started.

"Hello… may I please speak to Mr. Andrew Prentiss?"

There was a pause, and then the voice said, "This is he." Renesmee smiled at his slightly stuffy phone manner.

"Oh, good," she said cheerfully. "Mr. Prentiss, My name is Renesmee Cullen. I just recently read your book on Lycanthropy legends and myths, and I was wondering if I might ask you a few questions."

"Is this a prank call?" The voice on the other end of the line had become suddenly suspicious. Renesmee almost laughed.

"No… I really have a few questions for you. Good ones," she added when he didn't respond. "I'm… doing a graduate paper on Native American Mythology, and a few of the legends of the Quileute tribe turned me on to your book, which in turn piqued my interest in a couple things. If you have a minute to talk, I'd really appreciate your help."

"You're familiar with the Quileute tribe and their legends?" Prentiss' voice had dropped to a near whisper. _You have no idea,_ Renesmee thought to herself. "How remarkable," Prentiss said, seemingly to himself, before she had a chance to respond.

"Remarkable? How so?"

"Most peoples' interest in Lycanthropy stems from the movies… Hollywood's 'Werewolf'," He said it like a curse word. "But yours came from the same place mine did… the Quileute tribe. What an unlikely coincidence."

Renesmee almost groaned. She'd been raised by a family who believed staunchly in fate, and thus tended to reject the idea of coincidence. But Fate could sometimes be a bit too in-your-face for her liking… it felt a little too much like being bested sometimes. "Unlikely, for certain," she agreed. "So, would it be alright if I…"

"Certainly! Most people are sick of hearing me talk… my family says if I so much as mention the L word again, I'm banished to the attic." Now Renesmee did laugh. She liked this funny old man.

"I was just wondering about something you alluded to in one of the later chapters. You likened the mating habits of these legendary creatures to a sort of imprinting? Could you… I'd like to hear about that."

"Ah." There was a long pause. "That's the interesting part, isn't it?" He chuckled. "Everybody enjoys a bit of supernatural romance, I suppose."

"Romance?" Renesmee furrowed her brow. "The way it sounded, it was more like a, um… sexual compulsion." She blushed at the word, which she didn't think she'd ever spoken outside of science class, and certainly had never used in conversation with a stranger. But her interest in the topic far overshadowed her embarrassment, and she pushed on. "Is it more?"

"Legend has it that the Lycan mate for life," Prentiss said, as though he was reciting a well thought out speech. "Their mate is seen as their other half, a perfectly matched companion in all ways. The connection has been compared to love at first sight: a strong, unstoppable compulsion to be with, care for and protect one's mate from harm. I was introduced to these legends by someone with a very close connection to the Quileute tribe, many many years ago. She could more than I."

Renesmee felt a surge of hope. If this woman was merely connected to the tribe, and not close to Jacob or Billy or the wolves, maybe she could find out more from her, without Jacob realizing that she was poking around in his business. "Do you think she'd be willing to speak with me?" Renesmee asked, unable to hide her excitement.

"Oh, my Dear," Prentiss said with a sad note in his voice, "She passed on, quite some time ago. Long before you were on this earth, I'm certain." She heard him sigh softly, and then in a somewhat brighter voice, he said, "But if there is anything else I might be able to help you with…"

"I'm sorry," She said, and Prentiss made a sound of friendly acknowledgement. "So, this woman… when she told you about this the… mating habits… of the shape-changers, did she describe how this compulsion manifests itself? Did she, for example, mention anything about over-protective tendencies… jealousy, that sort of thing? Or a constant need for closeness, or contact? And what about the mate? Would this phenomenon cause similar feelings in them? How do they typically respond? And have you ever heard it referred to as 'Imprinting'?" Her rambling was cut short when Prentiss spoke.

"Miss," He said in a low voice, "You're speaking as though these legends were real."

Renesmee stopped cold. How could she have been so careless? She'd gotten carried away, and he knew something was up. "I… that is, I meant hypothetically…"

"You're not writing a paper, are you?" Renesmee couldn't find an answer. "This has nothing to do with you being a grad student." Prentiss wasn't _asking_ her. He knew.

He _knew_. "I should really be going," she said quickly.

"Please don't hang up," Prentiss urgently cut her off again. "I promise I only wish to help you."

Renesmee was panicking. Her father would kill her if her knew she was talking to complete strangers about their world. Although technically, it was Jacob's world. So really, if anybody had a reason to kill her, it would be Jacob. She had to neutralize this nice old man, and she had to do it quickly. "I really am a student," she said truthfully. "I just—"

"You're one of them," He said, as if it was obvious. Renesmee was stunned, and jumped to her own defense.

"That's crazy… I'm not a shape-shifter…"

"No," Prentiss said seriously, "I meant one of the imprinted." At hearing the words spoken, Renesmee felt an unexpected thrill run from the soles of her feet to the crown of her head. _Imprinted_. It sounded crazy, it sounded ridiculous, and over dramatic, and… _right_.

"I…" She lost her voice for a moment, recovered it, and continued, "I think I might be."

"Ahh." Prentiss sounded almost reverent. "I knew. All these years… I was right."

Renesmee felt like weeping. The old man sounded so _happy_, and she couldn't tell if the joy she felt was related to the sound of his voice, or the thing he'd just confirmed for her. "Mr. Prentiss," She said quietly, "I think we should discuss this in person."

"I believe you're right, My Dear. Where are you calling from?"

"Manhattan. I can be at your door in forty minutes, if you're willing to meet me today." Prentiss gave a small, disbelieving _tsk_.

"At this time of day, with the traffic how it is? That's not possible," He said. Renesmee grinned.

"It is for me."

oooOOOooo

It hadn't been difficult to convince Jacob to stay behind while she went out. Not wanting to use Rideau as an excuse again, particularly given Jacob's misconceptions about their friendship, She had told him that Clara had invited her to her very elite social club. When he'd seen that she was dressed in leggings and an oversized sweater, he'd been suspicious, but Renesmee had told him Clara had an outfit set out for her at the hotel, and she was getting ready there, he'd bought it hook, line and sinker. Before rushing out the door, she'd stopped to look at her best friend, standing in the living room in his track pants and undershirt, bathed in light from the huge windows. She felt an incredible ache at leaving, now almost certain that she was right about the bond between them. But she had to know for sure. The risk was too great for her not to.

"Jacob," she said quietly, and when he turned around she saw a slightly less intense version of the look that had been in his eyes the night before. It was all she could do not to run at him and tell him everything and offer him every part of herself right then and there.

"Yeah, Nessie?" His voice was low, and sad. She ached all over to hear it.

"I'll see you soon," she almost whispered. He'd have been able to hear it, even if she had. "Be… be home later, okay?"

"I'll be here."

"Okay." She didn't trust herself to utter another word, and so she turned and sped from the apartment.

Getting out of the city had been a bit of an issue, but once she was out of the core it was smooth sailing. She'd mapped out the route quickly before leaving home, and found a large strip of forest that ran between the states, broken only every once and a while by strips of highway. She reached Stamford, somewhat rumpled and wind-blown, in under thirty minutes.

From there, it hadn't taken long to find Andrew Prentiss's house.

He answered the door almost immediately after she knocked, looked hopefully through large, round glasses at her. He was short, only a few inches taller than Renesmee's five-foot-two, and looked about seventy human years. He had a friendly, open face, and the eyes behind his thick lenses were a clear, sparkling green. Renesmee couldn't help but beam at him as he peered curiously at her. This was what Grandfathers usually looked like. If Carlisle was human, she could imagine her grandpa appearing very much like this man: Aged but dignified, and very, very wise.

"Mr. Prentiss?" She said, and extended her hand. "I'm Renesmee… uh, Nessie."

"Renesmee," He said, sounding as if her name delighted him (not the reaction she was accustomed to). "Pleased to meet you. I'm Andrew." And they shook hands.

They sat down at his kitchen table. It was a modest house, nothing like any of the places Renesmee had ever lived in. The closest comparison she could find was her grandfather Charlie's house, although the two places weren't really alike. Andrew made tea, and they drank it with a plate of biscuits as they spoke.

"So there's truth to the legends," He said when they were settled, sounding like he barely dared to believe it. "I wanted to believe. I did believe… but after so many years of people thinking you ridiculous for even writing about something as a hypothetical…"

"I understand," Renesmee said. "What I can't figure out is, how _did_ you know? Someone must have told you… but the Quileutes I know are bound, by some very strict laws, to secrecy. Did somebody break the rules to tell you?" She quickly added, "I won't tell, I promise. I just want to know."

"Nobody broke any rules," he said, and his face took on a reminiscent quality. "The woman I told you about before, who first inspired me to look into these legends… she was my grandmother." Renesmee had a tough time thinking about someone who looked so old having grandparents. But then, nobody in her family looked that old. "She told me these stories, the Quileute legends, when I was just a child, and then with more detail when I was a bit older."

"Your grandmother… was she Quileute?" Renesmee felt a small thread of concern… if this kind old man was part-Quileute, there was no telling how he might react to her, half vampire as she was.

"No," he said with a short shake of his head. "She was not. But her first husband… he was."

Renesmee put two and two together. "She was imprinted upon by a member of the pack."

"Pack?" Andrew looked confused, and then began to laugh joyfully. "Of course, they would refer to themselves as such! I can't believe it never occurred to me." He shook his head, still chuckling. "It makes perfect sense. To answer your question… yes. My grandmother was imprinted upon by one of the skin-walkers. She told me stories of him, of how he could change form at will, how he was impossibly large and strong, and how he loved her more than anything else, almost as if compelled by an outside force to protect and care for her. My brothers and sisters thought she was making up stories to amuse us… but I always secretly believed her. When I was older, I researched the tribal legends, and was surprised to learn how similar they were to the stories I'd heard as a child. That's when I went to her, and she told me the rest of the tales… the less child-friendly ones."

Renesmee was on the edge of her seat. "What happened to him," she asked, "Your grandmother's wolf?"

"He was killed," the old man said, looking grim, "By something stronger and more deadly than himself. My grandmother was far away at the time, which is the reason I'm alive today. In time, she was able to move on, marry somebody, and have a family of her own. But she never forgot him, and I think she always loved him best."

"How could she have moved on?" Renesmee asked, not out of judgment but because she simply could not fathom loving and being loved so deeply and ever finding a replacement or substitute. "I don't think I could."

Prentiss smiled at her indulgently. "You are very young, my dear," he said, "And for a woman growing up in the world you've been born into, the options are endless. You can choose to remain alone, or marry, as it suits you. But this was over a hundred years ago… things were not so simple for women back then. My grandmother had no choice but to allow herself to be supported by a man, and when the one she truly loved passed away, she had to find another, or starve. She was very lucky my grandfather was such an open-minded man… most men at that time would have turned their noses up at a woman who'd been previously married, especially if her first husband was of a different race."

Renesmee felt a deep and intense relief that she was a part of her own generation, as ageless and timeless as she sometimes felt, and she found herself wondering what further changes she would see in her lifetime. There was no telling how long she'd live… in a hundred years, would the life she was living at this moment seem as archaic and ridiculous as the one she'd just heard described? "That must have been difficult for her," she said, almost to herself.

"My grandfather was a good man, and he cared for her adequately. She didn't want for anything material, and she was appreciated and admired until the day she died. It could have been far worse. At any rate, I tried to find evidence, years after the fact, that the wolves still existed within the tribe, to no avail. All that was remained of my grandmother's life with the shape-changers were her stories." Prentiss shrugged. "But you didn't come here to talk about my grandmother."

"No," Renesmee admitted. Prentiss just smiled.

"You know, until we spoke, I had no idea there were still wolves in La Push. I thought they'd disappeared, the way the stuff of legends sometimes does, and that there would never be any sure answer to my questions."

Renesmee nodded. "You were right; they did disappear, for a time. I can't say why. But they returned, when there was a need." She leaned forward. "They're good… you should know that. They don't harm human beings… they're fundamentally human, they insist upon that point. They protect, they don't harm unless there's a real reason. They're not monsters."

A look of immense relief passed over the man's face, and for a moment Renesmee feared he might be overcome with emotion. Then, after a long moment, he looked to her and said, "You have done me a great service. I've always hoped, always believed that my grandmother was right. And now, at almost the end of a very long journey, you have confirmed for me what I knew all along. I'm not sure how to thank you."

Renesmee looked at this man, this human man, so glad to finally know his life's obsession had been more than just insanity. She had helped him, she had given him something that no other person could give. She had, she hoped, made his life a little bit brighter. He was not a threat to her wolves; she could see that now. He only wanted to know that he had been right, all along. They shared a small, quiet smile.

There was one more thing, Renesmee realized with a jolt, that she could give this man. It would make him happy. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her small, flat wallet. From within its folds, she drew two small, worn photographs. "I want to show you something," she said, leaning in again and holding out the pictures. The top one was of Jacob, a full-length shot of him standing at the edge of one of the cliffs in La Push. He had his arms spread wide, in a mocking sun-god type of pose, a goofy grin on his upturned face. The sun bathed his bronze skin in an almost otherworldly glow. She'd taken it herself, when they'd gone cliff diving the previous summer.

"That's Jacob," she said, pointing, "My wolf." Prentiss studied the picture with interest, but she knew it wasn't the thing he most wanted to see. So she turned to the next picture. "And here we are, together."

In the picture, a pale, copper-haired girl, Nessie, sat leaning casually against the flank of an enormous russet wolf, at rest with his head on his paws. Seth, who had been with them on the cliff diving trip, had taken the candid shot when neither of them were looking, and presented Renesmee with a print a few days later, having developed it in Alice's darkroom (the creative vampire had taken it upon herself to help Seth find and cultivate a hobby, which the youngest pack member ended up not only enjoying but actually being very proficient at).

"Ahh," Prentiss said in wonder as he looked at the shot. "Incredible…"

Renesmee smiled at him as he handed the pictures back. "I thought you'd like to see. Proof… that you were right."

"Thank you," he nodded. "It's very kind of you to share with me." Then he stopped, frowning. "But if you are with your wolf already, how come you needed to contact me? Couldn't you have asked him yourself, avoided the risk of potentially exposing the… pack… to an outsider?"

Renesmee sighed. "He's… resisting. He's trying to stop himself from giving into the imprint. I'm not sure why… he's known me my whole life, we're best friends, and we've always loved each other, just not… in that sort of way." Prentiss nodded, an impish smile on his face that made him look at least ten years younger.

"I wouldn't be concerned," He said knowingly, "Your wolf will come around. He won't be able to resist for long, particularly with such a lovely mate." Renesmee blushed, and the old man shrugged. "I'm ancient, not dead," he said by way of explanation. She laughed.

They spent a few more minutes before Renesmee stood and made to leave. She gave him the address of the graduate office at the school, where he could write to her if he liked, and told him she would send him a letter every now and then, too. Instinctively, she leaned in at the door and placed a kiss on his withered cheek. "Thank you," she said, "For being honest with me. You might just be the first person in my life who's told me the whole truth."

"Don't be too hard on your wolf," he replied, patting her hand twice and letting it drop. "Sometimes we foolishly think that we're protecting the ones we love by hiding them from the world. I'm sure he means only the best for you."

"I know," she said. And she meant it.

With a final goodbye, Renesmee waved, turned, and walked as quickly as she could towards the forest, where she tore off at top speed for home, and Jacob.

**In the next chapter:**

_Bella looked resigned and miserable. "What if she gets hurt? What if he breaks her heart?"_

_ Edward looked into her eyes and shook his head. "Renesmee is a strong, smart young woman," He said, and then, with a small smile, "Just like her mother was at her age." Bella looked far from comforted at that statement. _

"_That is exactly what I'm worried about." _


	15. Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch

**A/N:** I broke 100 000 words on this story tonight. I think that calls for a celebratory update! I know it's probably frustrating for all of you who want to see what's happening with Jake and Nessie… don't worry, next chapter will see them having a reunion of sorts after Nessie's day trip to Connecticut.

But for now… have some Edward and Bella. Crazy, crazy Bella. If any of you have an issue with how she's been acting (crazy), simply reread New Moon (Crazy), or watch the movie (CRAZY), and then remember that she's a vampire now, so everything is just a little bit exaggerated. Bella and Edward are like my favorite drama queens of all time. I am SO GLAD I don't have to live with them.

Thanks for all the reviews of the last chapter! Let's all do this every time, okay? It would make me really happy… and signed reviewers, I will reply to you! Scouts' Honor!

**Chapter 15: Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch…**

If Bella had been difficult to handle before, she was insufferable now.

Edward found himself pacing outside the door to Carlisle's office, waiting rather impatiently for his foster father and his wife to emerge. It took a great deal of turmoil to make Edward pace, but in this situation he found it was warranted.

He'd learned his lesson about keeping things from his wife, but that didn't necessarily mean he was happy about having to tell her everything. Full disclosure was great, in theory, but when Bella threatened to fly off the handle if she found out about anyone so much as looking at their daughter, Edward's vow to always tell her the whole truth suddenly became a major impediment to their living in peace.

At least, when the only threat had been Jacob, Bella could be rational and make an attempt to control her protective instincts. But now that there was apparently some stranger vying for Renesmee's attention, there was no telling how long it would take before the youngest vampire in their small family decided to break away from them, run all the way to Manhattan, find this boy and kill him swiftly and brutally. She needed a different perspective on the situation, and fast.

Not that Edward didn't have his own concerns regarding Renesmee's new suitor. And at the first opportunity, he would be speaking to her very seriously about exactly who this young man was. But that would actually require her returning his call, which hadn't happened as of yet. Granted, it had only been four hours since he'd spoken to Jacob, a miniscule drop in the bucket when one had eternity to waste… but Edward wasn't exactly the most patient immortal in the history of the world. His daughter would have to return his phone call, and sooner, rather than later.

The door to the office clicked open, and Edward looked up at the sound, expecting Bella. Instead, it was Carlisle who looked out into the hallway. When he caught sight of his adopted son, he came through the door, shutting it firmly behind himself, and walked over to where Edward had halted his pacing.

"I've managed to convince her to let Jasper in," he said, a worried expression on his face. Not half a moment later, the vampire in question appeared at the top of the stairs and strode towards the door to the office, stepping inside and closing the door once again. So the whole family was listening. Spectacular. Edward grimaced.

"No luck talking her through it, then?" He asked, but it wasn't really a question, seeing as he'd already seen the answer walk into the study. Carlisle made a motion that was part way between a nod and a shrug.

"She's thinking clearly enough to agree to let Jasper step in," he replied. "But that's about it." Edward shook his head.

"This is insane, Carlisle," He said in his lowest possible voice. He didn't want Bella to hear and feel embarrassed. "What are we going to do? If she can't adjust to the idea of Renesmee growing up and having relationships…"

_That, I can't tell you_, Carlisle thought. _But we'll work it through._ "I think we can probably go in and speak with her now," He said out loud. Edward was through the door in less than a second.

"Bella?" He said, slowing once he was inside of the room and looking searchingly at his wife. Her head was bowed towards the floor, and she was sitting rather gracelessly in Carlisle's desk chair. Her head came up in slow motion at the sound of her voice, and a lazy smile spread across her lips.

"Edward," she drawled, "You're here." She brought up a hand and stroked it through the air, as if grasping for him, despite the several feet of distance between them. Edward's gaze flashed to Jasper, who gave him the tiniest hint of a smile.

_I thought it was best to dose her heavily. Precaution,_ he thought. Edward narrowed his eyes.

"I think you can let up on the juice, Jasper," he hissed. His brother quirked an eyebrow.

"She's fine," he said, "She's great. Aren't you, Bella?"

"Great," Bella repeated, drawing the word out longer than was necessary. Then she chuckled. "I feel _excellent_."

"_Jasper._" Edward's expression left no room for interpretation. Jasper actually snorted, and then his eyes went slightly unfocused. Edward watched as Bella straightened up slightly in her seat, seeming to shake off a bit of the haze. Edward went to her side. "How do you feel?" He said quietly. Bella looked up at him with a somewhat bewildered expression.

"It's weird but… I think I'm tired?" Then she shook her head. "That's not possible."

Edward threaded his fingers through hers, trying his best to sooth her with his touch. "You're emotionally drained," he said softly. "You have to try to relax. Stay near to Jasper, and try not to think too hard about anything."

He could see the moment when she remembered. "Renesmee," she said shortly after. "I have to help her… she's in danger…"

"She's perfectly fine," Edward said, although he mentally added that he might pose a threat to her himself if she didn't return his call. "Bella, whoever this young man is, it isn't likely he is a danger to Renesmee. Even Jacob doesn't seem to be worried, with respect to her safety at least."

"Jacob." Bella said his name like she'd only just remembered he existed. "Oh… I acted so horribly to Jacob. And all along, he was just looking out for her. Like me." She looked slightly horrified, but in the manner of someone who found they'd stepped in another person's chewing gum, rather than that of someone who'd ranted for months about wanting to cause the death of a close friend. Edward was suddenly very glad Jasper had the ability to control the amount of emotional anesthesia he doled out. "He was never the one I should have worried about."

"You're not yourself when it comes to Renesmee," Edward said carefully. "Do you feel badly, now, over how you acted towards Jacob?"

"I was awful," Bella said abstractly. "Poor Jake. I wonder if he'll be able to move past it one day." She didn't really sound all that bothered by it. Edward knew that, had she not been brain-doped by Jasper, she'd either be in a murderous rage or totally devastated at the realization she'd just reached.

"Jacob has moved past a great many things where you are concerned," He said bluntly. Might as well… better she hear him say these things in her current state. "I'm sure that it will work out, in the end."

"I'd rather she was with him than this stranger," She said, and then at the remembrance of the current situation, she groaned slightly and said, "Edward, we have to help her. Our daughter _needs_ us."

"Bella," Edward thought carefully before continuing. "If what Jacob told me is correct, she is pursuing this man herself. Not the other way around." He sighed unnecessarily. "This is her choice. And she's a grown woman. We have to accept that, now or later… one day we'll be forced to."

Bella looked slightly cowed, and she looked up at him with wide eyes. "I kept it together all right, before," she said quietly. "Edward, I did try."

He felt his heart twist in response to his wife's forlorn voice. "I know, love," he said, cupping her smooth cheek with his hand. "You did so well, after they left. Everybody slips sometimes. But now that we've gotten you calmed down, you need to _stay_ that way. That means coming to terms with what's happening to our daughter." Bella shook her head.

"I can't, Edward. I'm supposed to protect her. She's _mine_."

"And she'd mine. And Carlisle's, and Esme's, and the rest of the family's. And Jacob's. But mostly, Bella, she's her own. We can't stand in the way of what she wants just because we love her." He caressed her cheek again and leaned in close. "I know it's your instinct to keep her safe from harm, but the only harm she faces in this situation is the type that comes from growing and living. And she needs that. Just as you needed it… just as I needed it."

_Edward._ Jasper's thoughts in his head. _She's starting to relax.I'm going to ease up a bit… be ready._ Edward gave the tiniest nod, really just a slight twitch, to acknowledge Jasper's warning.

"But she's mine," Bella repeated, this time sounding incredibly lost. "Edward… what will I do without her? What will we do?"

Edward placed his lips to his wife's forehead, and spoke quietly into her cool, smooth skin. "We'll never lose her," he said firmly. "She'll always be our daughter. Nothing can ever change that. And because she's our daughter and we love her, we have to allow her to grow up."

Bella was silent for a long moment, and then she said, "Do human parents feel this horrible when their children grow up?"

Edward had to chuckle at that, albeit humorlessly. "Yes, darling," he replied, "I'd imagine they do."

"Oh, Renesmee…" Edward was sure that, if she could have, Bella would be crying. "It's too soon."

"I know. It does feel that way." Edward smoothed her hair soothingly. "But really… she's dealt with boys before without any sort of disaster. It's no different this time, I'm sure." He wasn't sure he believed it, but it might be of some comfort. "Besides, is there any doubt in your mind that Renesmee and Jacob will end up together?" Bella shook her head 'no', and Edward gave her a small yet pained smile. "Then there'ss really nothing to worry about. This boy can't take her away from us… he's just there to pass the time, for now. Like I said, she's dated boys before, to test the waters, see what she was comfortable with… I'm sure this is no different."

"It is different." Bella sounded resigned and miserable. "She wasn't ready then, so there was never any danger of us really losing her. But she's ready now." She looked up at her husband. "I should have known. That phone call the other week… this must be what that was about. This boy. She was so upset, Edward… she actually said she didn't think anybody would ever love her. What if she gets hurt? What if he breaks her heart?"

Edward looked into her eyes and shook his head. "Renesmee is a strong, smart young woman," He said, and then, with a small smile, "Just like her mother was at her age."

Bella looked far from comforted at that statement. "That is exactly what I'm worried about."

oooOOOooo

It took a while, but Jasper was finally able to step aside and let Bella self-regulate her own emotions. She was, of course, extremely embarrassed by her behavior, and went around for most of the evening apologizing to the rest of the family for taking up their time and energy. Edward couldn't help but be reminded of the awkward, clumsy human girl he'd met, always blundering something and then worrying about how badly she'd put everyone out. It seemed like ages ago, even when considered next to his rather lengthy existence. It was hard, now, to imagine a time without her.

Everyone but Rosalie reassured Bella that they understood it was her maternal instincts, and not Bella herself, that caused her to act so crazy over Renesmee. Rose, of course, had simply removed herself to the garage when the drama started, according to her usual routine for what she called 'Bella-Time'. When Bella approached her sister-in-law, who was engaged in fixing something beneath the hood of Emmett's car, and apologized profusely for disrupting the peace, Rosalie simply shrugged.

"I've been working on the Jeep," She said a bit loftily. "Were you upset? Hadn't noticed."

Of course, the storm was far from over. Bella assured Edward that she could keep things under control for the time being, but she still wasn't happy. She told him she could only see one solution, and that was for them to go see their daughter and have a sit-down talk with her.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea, my love," Edward said slowly. "It's probably best if you're nowhere near this… situation." He wanted to avoid mentioning the boy, the stranger their daughter was apparently involved with, in case it set her off again. Although he had to admit, since reasoning with her, Bella seemed to have come around to the idea that this new boy wasn't 'The One', and it seemed to have calmed her down tremendously to think that their daughter wouldn't be taken away from them so soon. Edward figured that was the healthiest attitude any of them could hope for, and it comforted him to think that way as well.

"Well then, we'll just make her come back here."

Edward considered the idea. Renesmee certainly wouldn't be ready to come back home for good, but if they could convince her to come home for a visit… "That might be a better option," he admitted. Bella looked pleased. "But," he said quickly, "We have to be careful how we put it to her. You know her… if she suspects that we're attempting to run her life or make her decisions for her, she'll balk. It could make things worse."

"Good point." Bella paused. "Can't we just tell her the truth: that we miss her and we'd like to see her?"

"That's not the whole truth, Bella."

"No, it's part of the truth. But it's still the truth."

Edward put up his hands as if in surrender. "All right. I'll try calling her again, we'll see if we can't set this plan in motion." He picked up the house phone and hit his daughter's number on speed dial. After four rings, the answering machine came on again. Edward scowled… she still hadn't returned his earlier messages, and now he had to leave another. That girl needed a talking to. "Renesmee, it's your father," he said, his irritation clear in his tone. "Please call me back. I'd like to speak with you." He hung the phone back in its cradle, perhaps a bit more forcefully than was strictly necessary.

"She's not picking up?" Bella said, concerned. Edward did his best to smooth over his unpleasant expression.

"Not to worry, I'm sure she's just busy. Jacob mentioned she was at the library earlier, maybe her ringer is still off."

Bella actually smiled mockingly at this. "Library on a Saturday. She must get that from you."

"You read," Edward pointed out.

"Yeah, but reading and studying are two very different things."

Edward barely caught himself before he pointed out that there were worse things she could be doing.

He really didn't think Bella needed the reminder.

oooOOOooo

"I have a request." Alice was suddenly in front of Edward, bouncing ever-so-slightly on the balls of her feet with a wry smile on her face. He picked out of her mind what she was about to ask before she could say it, and he could easily pinpoint the exact moment when she saw the outcome of his decision. Her smile grew, and she gave him a light, affectionate bump on the shoulder with her tiny, white fist. "Thanks, Edward!" She said, turning on her heel and crossing the room to where Jasper sat. "We're going to town," she announced as she unceremoniously dropped into his lap.

Emmett was looking between Edward and Alice with a blank expression. "I hate it when they do that." Bella rolled her eyes.

"You're telling me," she said.

"I just asked Edward if Jazz and I could come with you to pick up Nessie," She explained. "I know how you feel about the… situation out there, Bella. So I thought maybe we could head in, do some _shopping_, get Nessie and Jacob from the loft, and then meet up with you two somewhere on the outskirts of town."

"The wolf is coming to visit?" Rosalie asked disdainfully.

"It's part of the pitch," Edward said, partly by way of explanation and partly to neutralize his sister's vitriol. "Jacob needs to see the pack, and he also need to spend some time around us. We're not sure how long it will take without our presence for him to stop phasing and start aging, and I don't think we should leave it long enough to find out."

"Speak for yourself," Rosalie scoffed. "Personally, I'd like nothing more than to see the puppy grow up and become all wrinkly and frail." Emmett chuckled at his wife's obvious pretense, and so did Edward. He knew that his sister cared for Jacob just as much as the rest of them did. Maybe even more… he knew from her thoughts that Rosalie keenly felt the absence of her verbal sparring partner. In Jacob, Rosalie had truly met her match… a kindred spirit, although she'd rather roll in dirt than admit it.

"Edward," Alice piped in, "Could you make up your mind to go next weekend?" Edward thought for a moment and nodded, only to see Alice shake her head fretfully. "Too sunny," she said with a frown. "The weekend after." Edward rolled his eyes, but concentrated on the following week anyhow. "Ah… snow," Alice said with a grin. "It's early, but it's pretty. And maybe… yes, Jasper and I will stay behind an extra night…"

And so it was decided: they would get Renesmee and Jacob in two weeks time and bring them home for a visit. When Bella pointed out that the date coincided with American Thanksgiving, Edward realized it would be all that much easier to convince his daughter. After all, most human students went home for the holidays. And she wanted to act human, didn't she?

Now all she had to do was call him back so that he could work on making her think the whole visit was her idea. Edward wasn't so sure about that part. His daughter was pretty perceptive.

But then again… he could read minds.

**In the Next Chapter:**

"_I can take care of myself, Jacob! Look… I'm fine. I'm not dead, or maimed, nor have I been recruited by the Volturi or taken apart by wolves."_

_Jacob's breath hitched involuntarily. "That isn't funny," he hissed. Renesmee ignored him completely…_


	16. ResistanceFutility

**A/N: **as promised, a third update this week. Yay!

A HUGE thank you to everybody who has reviewed this story over the last couple days. The number of reviews has more than doubled, and that's _great!_ An even bigger thank you to all those who've added this story to their favorites… I'm very flattered!

This marks the beginning of the FUN. It's not fun yet, exactly… but it sure was fun to write =) I hope you all like the next few chapters… I think they're pretty swell.

Thanks for reading… please review! And, as always, ENJOY!

~Crit.

**Chapter 16: Resistance = Futility**

_Be home later, okay?_

Jacob ran the words over again and again in his head. The way she'd said them, the way she'd looked at him, coupled with their nearly-something-moment the previous evening… Jacob couldn't let himself think about what all the clues were adding up to. If he thought about it, he'd want it, and if he wanted it and couldn't have it, he'd go crazy.

And he couldn't have it.

He had been sitting this way, alone, silent, on the couch where they'd almost… whatever they'd almost… for nearly three hours, waiting for Renesmee to return. He wanted to run, he wanted to explode, he wanted to break something or kill something or cry, maybe. But he didn't move, because he'd promised her, and he couldn't leave, not at the risk of breaking his promise.

And, if he was really honest, he was also hoping, somewhere deep inside, that his thoughts were on track. That something was happening inside Renesmee's head that matched the thoughts in his. Yesterday, he'd been so sure that she was hung up on that jerk she liked to hang out with. And then, out of the blue, she'd suddenly started acting like herself again, laughing, joking, dropping little touches to his arm or hand every now and then. And that moment on the couch…

… and he was thinking about it. Damn.

The phone rang, and Jacob leapt for it. If it was Nessie, good. If it was someone else, even better… a distraction would be more than welcome. "Hello?" he all but shouted.

"Hi, this is Clara DeWalt-Wilder. I'm calling for Ness… is she in?"

Jacob frowned, confused. "Clara? I thought she was…" He stopped, dread setting in. "Um, no. Sorry. She's out."

"Oh." There was a brief pause. "Well, could you please tell her I rang?"

"Sure. Sure. Yeah." Jacob wasn't really listening at this point. He faintly registered Clara saying goodbye and hanging up, but all he could do was sit there with the phone in his hand, stunned.

She'd lied to him. Renesmee had lied to him, Jacob Black, her best friend, partner in crime, and soul mate. Jacob couldn't believe it. Except that he'd seen her do it before, since they'd been here. Yesterday, when her father had called, she'd gotten him to lie _for_ her. And then she'd gone off to the library, late at night, without returning Edward's call…

Jacob shook his head, a sudden thought occurring to him. She hadn't gone to the library at all. He felt so stupid… after all, who the hell went to study at almost midnight on a Saturday? It was a weak excuse, at best. She was sneaking around, lying to her loved ones… Jacob felt himself growing angrier by the minute, accompanied by a mild sense of panic at having no idea where Renesmee was.

He couldn't figure out how long this had been going on. Maybe the entire time they were here. Had she even been going to class, or was that just another lie? Maybe she was off partying all day and all night. In a way, it would make sense… Renesmee had never had a big rebellion in her teenage years, like most kids did. Even Bella had rebelled as a teenager… of course, she'd done it along with him, so he hadn't really objected at the time.

Shit… Bella. She was going to kill him. Both she and Edward would be furious when they found out that Jacob had allowed their daughter to trick him. And now he'd lost track of her completely… who knew where she was, or when she'd come back? She could be in serious danger.

Jacob took a deep breath, and then another. He tried his old counting trick, going backward from one hundred. Nothing helped. He was panicking.

At the sound of a key sliding into the lock on the front door, he nearly jumped out of his skin. Renesmee appeared a second later, looking wind-blown and flushed. She looked up at him with an expression he'd never seen before, like she was somewhere between stunned, elated and afraid, but the last feeling seemed to take over when she caught sight of him.

"What's wrong?" She asked immediately, rushing over to where he stood. "Jake, what is it?" He still said nothing, and her eyes went wide and watery. "Is it my family?" She asked in a terrified tone.

"Everyone's fine," he said quietly. "Are you okay?" Now Renesmee just looked bewildered. She nodded.

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" Jacob felt his anger surge anew, and he had to tense his shoulders and clench his fists to stop from grabbing her by the shoulders.

"Where were you?" He asked in a low, lethal voice.

There it was: Renesmee's eyes shifted slightly to the side, away from him, before she answered. "I told you," she said, "I was—"

"Yeah, Clara's party. Would this be the same Clara who called for you while you were out, wondering if you were home?" Renesmee went beet red and looked horrified.

"Jake," she said slowly, "I can explain…"

"You'd better."

She took another step towards him. "I'm sorry I lied to you… I promise, no matter what you think it is, it's not that bad."

"Oh yeah?" Jacob said sarcastically. "Because I think betraying my trust and sneaking around and being dishonest is pretty bad, Renesmee."

She looked like she might cry, and she reached out to put a hand on his arm. Jacob flinched away from her touch. "Jacob, please," she said, a note of desperation entering her voice. "Just hear me out."

He didn't even trust himself to speak, so he made a motion with his hand that clearly indicated she should continue. Renesmee swallowed hard and began.

"I know you're not going to believe me, but I was doing research."

"Research." Jacob couldn't believe it… she was lying again. "Just like you were last night, I guess."

"Yes!" Renesmee looked up at him hopefully. "I found this book at the library that was exactly along the lines of something I've been trying to get information on. It was pretty good, but it didn't tell me everything I needed to know. So this morning, I called the guy who wrote it. He thought I was a crazy person at first, but after we talked for a bit he got that I just wanted to talk about the subject he'd devoted his life to. He invited me for tea, so I… ran to Connecticut." She winced and gave him an apologetic look. "That's why I didn't tell you… I was kind of on a mission, I had to get my answers right away, and I knew you'd never let me go if I told you."

Jacob watched her incredulously as she fidgeted her way through her story. It was ridiculous, and unbelievable… and that meant it was probably true. If she'd wanted to lie to him, she could have come up with something much more believable. "You ran to Connecticut?" he said skeptically. "All the way?"

She nodded, and then qualified, "Except for the subway ride to the outskirts of the city. There was enough tree cover and open, unmanned field for me to make a clean trip. Besides, we've run _way_ further than that before." She looked up at him an earnest, apologetic look. "I'm telling you the truth," she said firmly. "I promise."

Jacob shook his head. "Against all logic, I believe you." Her expression brightened, and then fell just as quickly when he added, "But that doesn't change the fact that you lied to me in the first place."

"Jake, I'm sorry… I just—"

Jacob cut her off. "No, let me finish. There's a reason we're supposed to be honest with each other, Renesmee, other than the fact that that's what friends _do_. We're not normal. We're not regular human beings, no matter how hard you try to fool yourself into believing it. And we're always in danger of coming across things that want to hurt us or destroy us. When you take off on your own like that, you're putting yourself in danger, with absolutely no consideration for the people who care about you. It's selfish, and it's hurtful." He knew his anger was getting the best of him, but he found he couldn't stop. "You parents put me in charge. And it shows just how little you respect them, and me, when you do something like this."

Renesmee looked like she might cry, but there was also a slow, steady rage building in her eyes. "You know I have nothing but respect for my parents," she said in a way that clearly underscored the fact she hadn't mentioned him. "But I can take care of myself, Jacob! Look… I'm fine. I'm not dead, or maimed, nor have I been recruited by the Volturi or taken apart by wolves."

Jacob's breath hitched involuntarily. "That isn't funny," he hissed. Renesmee ignored him completely.

"And as far as honesty goes… are you _sure_ you want to go making statements about friends being straight with each other? Think _really_ carefully about your answer, Jacob… you wouldn't want to lie, now." Her voice had taken on that cruel undercurrent that it sometimes did when she was upset. Most people, hearing her speak so harshly, would think she was just being mean and furious, but Jacob knew that when she sounded that way, it meant that she was feeling hurt, badly. He hated that, but he was still beyond upset with her, and he also had no idea what she was talking about.

"I'm always honest with you, Renesmee," he said sternly. "You know that."

"Are you?" She was looking at him as though there was a very important point that he was missing.

"Yes!" At the sound of his answer, shouted a bit too loudly out of sheer frustration, Renesmee's shoulders slumped, and she shook her head.

"Fine," she said, a look of surrender on her face. "That's fine, Jacob. Keep it up, why don't you… you've done a fantastic job so far." She dropped her hands to her sides and began to stalk towards the stairs. When she was almost there, she looked at him over her shoulder. "This can't last, you know," She said quietly. "I don't know why you're fighting so hard." She looked incredibly sad and hurt. Then, instead of climbing the stairs, she leapt into the air, grabbing the balcony railing and swinging herself over the top. The movement was sudden and tense and violent, and Jacob was surprised by her ferocity.

What in the world could she possibly be talking about? It sounded to Jacob's ears like Renesmee had just accused _him_ of being dishonest with _her._ He had never lied to Renesmee, not in her entire seventeen and a half years on the face of the planet, except for one very important piece of information that he'd been concealing for the very same amount of time. And he never would lie to her. He couldn't figure out what she thought he'd been dishonest about.

It hit Jacob full force, like a ton of bricks. He was glad he was near the couch, because it took the strength out of his legs and he collapsed, landing heavily on the cushions. Renesmee wouldn't ever accuse him of lying to her unless she knew for certain that he had. It just wasn't her style; too easy to be corrected and proven wrong. Renesmee hated being wrong, and so she almost never put herself in a position where she'd have to be. So, if she was accusing him of lying to her, and there was only one truth he'd ever concealed from her, then there was only one logical explanation.

She knew.

The second the thought entered his head, Jacob realized that it had to be true. It made everything so perfectly clear: her strange behavior towards him, her sneaking around, making excuses to get away from him. She had found out, some how, some way, about the imprinting. Jacob thought back to just moments before, when she'd looked at him with all the hurt and betrayal of someone who'd just lost their best friend. She probably thought she _had_. He groaned quietly into his hands. What was he going to do?

This wasn't a situation he could avoid. _This can't last, you know_… That was what she'd said. Well, Renesmee was right… it couldn't, especially now that she knew. And he knew that she knew. Jacob wasn't sure what that meant, exactly. Her behavior had run so hot and cold lately when it came to him that he couldn't be sure what she was thinking or feeling anymore. But she knew what she was to him, and she'd been expecting him to tell her, make some sort of grand confession or gesture. She'd been disappointed when he hadn't, although Jacob wasn't sure if it was _at_ him or _in_ him. He couldn't handle not finding out.

Jacob stood up, resolutely, and started for the second floor. He took the stairs, carefully and one at a time, feeling like he was climbing to his own doom.

When he reached her door, he stopped and took several shallow breaths before raising his hand and knocking. The resulting cracks of his hard knuckles on the wooden surface made him flinch. A moment later, Renesmee responded.

"What, Jacob?" Her voice was curt and angry. He squeezed his eyes shut and steeled his nerves.

"Can I come in, please? I have to talk to you."

There was no response, but a moment later Renesmee swung the door open and looked up at him. Her eyes were red. "Make it fast," she snapped, "I have to call my father."

"Please don't do that," Jacob said quickly. "That's really the worst thing you could do. Just… let me talk to you first."

"I didn't say you couldn't. I just said 'Make it quick'." She crossed her arms over her chest and looked up at him expectantly. Jacob hadn't gotten this far in his planning. This was not at all how he'd expected things to go. Plus, the mention of Edward had only served to remind him of the deal they'd made. He couldn't just come out and say it, not without very severe repercussions that he didn't even feel like contemplating. He took a deep breath.

"Nessie, whatever you think of me right now… please just know that I never wanted to be dishonest with you. Everything I've ever told you has been the truth. And as for the things I haven't told you… I'm sorry for that. But sometimes there are reasons for things, beyond what either one of us can control." He looked at her pitifully. "I'm so sorry. I didn't want it to be this way."

Renesmee looked confused and upset. "What way, Jacob? What is it, exactly, that you didn't want?" When he didn't have an answer, she shook her head and looked away. "You can't even say it. Even now, you can't bring yourself to tell me."

"No," he agreed miserably. "I can't."

She made a strangled, frustrated noise deep in her throat. "This isn't fair, Jacob."

"I know." He looked down at her face, overwhelmed even in the midst of his emotional turmoil by how beautiful she was. His hands reached for her of their own accord and clasped gently around her upper arms, encircling them easily. He could see all sorts of different feelings and thoughts swimming behind her eyes as he stepped forward, their bodies separated by the smallest possible distance. As he watched, her face softened, and an understanding dawned in her eyes. Their faces were being pulled towards each other, Renesmee rising on her toes and Jacob bending slowly to meet her. He could smell her breath, hot and sweet, like tea. He could feel the slight tremble of her muscles as she attempted to stay still while standing on her toes, and the heat that rolled off of her small body in waves, almost as warm as his own. This was going to happen.

This was _not_ going to happen.

Jacob gently and reluctantly stepped backwards and righted himself again, giving her arms a lingering squeeze before releasing them. He watched as Renesmee sank back onto her heels, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry, Nessie," He said, his voice coming out barely more than a strangled whisper. She shook her head.

"Why?" She looked like she might cry again. "I mean… why not?"

He almost choked on his own breath. What emerged from his throat was actually more of a sob than a sigh. "I have to do what's right," he said, in equal parts to her and to himself. "It's not that I don't…" He couldn't finish. It was too difficult to put into words. Renesmee nodded slowly. Her eyes were soft, but her face was hard.

"Okay," she said, her voice trembling. "All right, Jacob. All right." She went to close her door, slowly, and he put out his hand to stop it swinging shut.

"Nessie, I…"

She squeezed her eyes closed, as if in pain. "I know, Jake," she whispered. "Me too." She opened her eyes and looked at him, a loaded look, full of regret and longing. Her hand came forward and rested for the shortest of moments against his chest, where his heart was quickly thumping away, and then she backed off and closed the door, shutting him out.

Jacob stood outside her door, planted there like a silent mountain, for what felt like hours before he finally strode back to his own room. He closed the door, crossed the room and collapsed onto the bed, his stomach clenching painfully, his muscles tight and tense. It was killing him to stay away. He knew he was causing her pain, and his entire being was meant to protect her from harm and discomfort. It was like trying to move in the opposite direction of a powerful current; a horrible struggle that he knew he couldn't possibly win, yet he continued to fight. His head pounded and his joints ached. It was the most horrible feeling he'd ever experienced.

A few times, he got up and walked back into the hall, standing outside Renesmee's door with a forlorn expression, pressing his hands to the hard wooden surface as if she might be able to tell he was there. Maybe she could. If she did realize he was standing there, she didn't offer any sort of response. The door remained firmly closed, and after several minutes of debating whether or not to call out, he inevitably returned to his own domain.

He repeated this cycle for several hours after the sun went down, until finally his mental and emotional exhaustion were such that he could no longer pace back and forth, and he had to lie down. Jacob slowly pulled off his t-shirt and jeans, not bothering with pajamas, and collapsed onto the bed in his shorts, falling at last into a fitful yet dreamless sleep.

**In the Next Chapter:**

"_I tried to talk to him about it… but he got upset. And then we almost kissed, and then he…"_

"_Yeah?"_

_She sighed heavily. "He ran away." _

"_He what?" _

"_He chickened out. He acted like he really wanted to, but there was something huge stopping him."_

_Clara made an angry clicking noise with her tongue. "Is there?"_


	17. Pounce

**A/N: **Thanks for the awesome reviews! You guys have been so helpful and positive, and I really appreciate your feedback. Sorry I haven't responded to the reviews from the last chapter… I'll get on it, but I figured you'd appreciate an update more =)

For those of you who missed Clara… she's baa-aack =) Don't we all have a friend like that, one who gives us somewhat questionable advice that we secretly really want to follow? I know I have several.

Thanks for reading! Enjoy!

~Crit.

**Chapter 17: Pounce**

For a little while, Renesmee simply sat on her bed and stared at the closed door. She hadn't heard Jacob make his way back to his own room, so she had to assume he was still standing in place, waiting for something to move him, somehow. She felt very much the same.

It was as if she understood it all, suddenly and finally. Jacob had imprinted on her. He'd known about this, possibly for a very long stretch of time. He'd kept it from her. Her family had also known, if she'd understood him correctly. They had all kept it from her. They let her casually date as a young teenager, boys who meant less than nothing to her, knowing full well she had the potential to break somebody's heart if she got too close. Had her family been responsible for restraining Jacob? Or had he simply not been concerned by it, recognizing her half-hearted attempts at normal boy-girl relationships as just that?

She had so many questions, but the one she cared about most had already been answered: did Jacob care for her the way she cared for him? The answer, she now knew, was undoubtedly yes. And while she should have been rejoicing, Renesmee was sitting here in her room, alone, roiling with confusion and unresolved emotion. They had almost kissed, yet again, and she'd seen it clearly in his eyes this time: he loved her. He _wanted_ her. All the things she wanted him to feel for her, she could see that he felt. But he wouldn't act on it.

Why? Renesmee could only think of two reasons: either he thought she wasn't ready to take their relationship to that level, or there was some external force stopping him from moving forward. Since she'd basically offered him her lips, she figured it had to be the latter. And she thought she knew exactly what that external force might be.

Her father.

When she'd mentioned calling home, Jacob had said it was "the worst thing she could do". And the day before, when her father had spoken to Jacob, the enlightening conversation that had set her on the path to the truth… she'd figured Edward was calling to check up on her. But maybe that wasn't it at all. Maybe he was calling to check up on _Jacob_.

Renesmee felt a sudden release of tension as the last piece of the puzzle slid into place. It all made sense. When Jacob imprinted on her, her parents and the rest of her family likely disapproved. Maybe her father had made some sort of agreement with Jacob… he couldn't touch her or tell her about the imprinting or be anything more than friends with her until x-amount of time had gone by, or something in the same vein. It sounded just like something Edward might do.

That phone conversation yesterday… her father must have believed Jacob when he said that Renesmee had feelings for somebody. It had sounded like he'd almost been sympathetic towards Jacob, at least from the side of the conversation she was able to overhear. So, clearly, her father understood the strength of their bond, and accepted it… he just didn't want to allow them to act on it yet.

Well, so maybe he'd made a deal with Jacob. Renesmee had made no such agreement with anyone. Which meant she could do whatever she damn well pleased where Jacob was concerned. She'd just have to figure out a way to get around the rules without getting Jacob in trouble.

But first, she had to return her father's phone calls. Slowly and quietly, she grabbed the handset and walked into her closet, closing the door firmly and settling on the floor in the very back. Hopefully, at this distance and with two doors between them, Jacob wouldn't overhear her conversation, by accident or on purpose.

Edward answered on the first ring. "Renesmee," he said in a somewhat frosty tone. "I was beginning to think you'd lost our number."

She really wasn't in the mood to hear him berate her for being a day late calling him back, particularly after what she'd just figured out about him trying to run her life for her. But she remembered Jacob's words from earlier, and knew that the worst thing she could do for their situation was to tip him off. She put on a smile, hoping it would carry through her tone, and said, "Sorry, dad. I've been so busy with research and papers… I was actually at the library until after midnight yesterday."

His tone softened as he said, "I'm glad you're taking your studies so seriously, but I hope you're getting enough rest while you do so."

"I'm sleeping almost as much as a normal person," she said, although it was a bit of an exaggeration, and Edward was bound to know it. "So, what's up? You called like four times, but your messages didn't sound to urgent."

"Nothing drastic," he said easily. "Your mother and I have been missing you… the rest of the family too. We wanted to see how things were going out there."

"Great! Perfect, really." She waited a second before launching into her next sentence. "I've made a couple friends… they're _really_ great."

"Really?" Her father was acting like he had no idea. Renesmee almost laughed. Neither one of them was being particularly upfront with the other. "You'll have to tell me all about them sometime."

"Sure!" She knew what he actually wanted to know: the name, age, and current place of residence of the mystery boy he thought she was in love with. So that he could apprehend and probably kill him.

"Does your school have a break for Thanksgiving?" Edward asked, trying to sound conversational. Renesmee snorted.

"Well, yeah. But I doubt we'll be celebrating. As far as holidays go, I find that one a bit… problematic." Her father actually chuckled.

"Of course you won't. But… I'm not sure if you realize this, but most people travel to wherever home is on holidays like Thanksgiving. You might want to… at least tell people that's your plan, and then lay low. I know how concerned you are with blending in."

She smirked. It was actually kind of sweet how her father was trying to talk her around to his idea. "Dad, if you want me to come home for Thanksgiving weekend, all you have to do is ask." There was a stunned silence on the line; evidently, Edward was okay with stealing thoughts out of other people's heads, but not the other way around. "I _can_ come and go as I please, you know… it's New York, not the Isle of Elba."

After another moment of silence, her father said, in a voice much smaller than usual, "I wasn't sure you'd want to be away, so soon." She smiled to herself, genuinely this time.

"I don't mind," she said, "I'm having fun and everything, the city's great… but I still miss you guys." And it was true. She did miss her family, and now that she thought about going back soon and seeing them all, she found herself excited and enthusiastic.

"Well," said her father. "We miss you too, of course."

"I'm coming in to pick you up!" A high, faint voice said in the background. Renesmee laughed out loud: Alice. She would have to take the opportunity for a shopping trip.

"Tell Aunt Alice wwe're looking forward to it," she said, automatically answering for Jacob. And then s thought occurred to her. "Did you tell the pack?" She said, suddenly realizing how badly she missed the three wolves who ran with Jacob. They would know all about the imprinting, of course… maybe she would find more acceptance and understanding from them than from her own family.

"No," her father replied, "But if you think I should, I can go speak to Leah."

"That's okay," she said, brushing it off. "I'm sure Jacob will want to tell them himself. They'll be so excited to see him again."

Her father went quiet again, and then he said, "How is Jacob?"

Ah, there. He was fishing for information. Renesmee decided to give him exactly what he expected. "Weird. I think he might regret leaving the pack to come here. He's pretty mad at me right now… we've been fighting." She paused, for effect, and then clarified, "He doesn't really like my new friends."

Her father sighed, a human instinct that Rneesmee knew was unnecessary but sometimes cropped up anyway, involuntarily. "You should go easy on him, Renesmee," he admonished gently. "He's given up a great deal to be there with you, and without complaint. Try to listen to him, if you can."

"He'll be fine," she said flippantly. As long as she could, she intended to milk this little bit of deception. If she could deflect her father's suspicion of Jacob, it would only make her mission that much easier to accomplish. "He's just mad because I have other people to hang out with now."

"Even so." Edward sounded a little stressed. Renesmee couldn't help but feel a bit victorious at that. "Try to see it from his perspective." He was hinting broadly that she should look at Jacob's reactions and try to understand why he was having them. Interesting… her father would stop Jacob from following the instincts of his imprint to keep them apart, yet when he thought she might be involved with someone else, he suddenly wanted to push them together. Sometimes, even at her mere seventeen years of age, she felt ages older and wiser than her ancient father.

"Okay, dad," she said, placating him. "Don't worry. We'll work it out, we always do." She genuinely meant that, but in a much different way that Edward was bound to understand it. "I've gotta go now… more work than I can shake a stick at. Does mom want to talk before I get off the line?"

"Your mother's hunting," he replied, a bit regretfully. "But I think it's safe for me to send her love along with mine." Renesmee felt the soothing warmth she always did at her father's words, despite her current level of anger towards him and his machinations.

"I love you both, too," she said sincerely. "Call me tomorrow, if you want… I'll do my best to answer the phone this time." Her father chuckled again.

"Good night, sweetheart," he said softly.

"Good night dad." They hung up at the same time, and Renesmee put the phone down. Interesting… for such a short and casual conversation, she certainly had gained a fair bit of insight.

She still wasn't sure how to deal with Jacob, though. But she thought she might have some idea who could help her with that.

"Ness!" Clara answered after a nerve-wracking three rings. She always did that; she never picked up unless she could see who was phoning on the call display, and then she answered as if she was greeting them in person. Renesmee found it a bit off-putting, but she supposed it was more upfront than pretending you had no idea who was on the other end of the line.

"Hey, Clara," she said, trying to sound as cheerful as the other girl.

"I guess you got my message," she said, and Renesmee remembered suddenly how Jacob had mentioned Clara calling earlier. She'd forgotten completely.

"Yeah," she said. "What's up?"

"Oh, not much. I wanted to invite you to a brunch next weekend, if you feel like it. Should be a bunch of snooty, upper-crust types… we can drink mimosas and mock them discreetly from the sidelines." Renesmee chuckled in spite of herself. Clara's idea of fun was certainly interesting.

"I'd love to," she said.

"Good," Clara said in her chipper voice. "Sunday at one, wear something preppy and pricey. I'll pick you up." Renesmee looked up at the clothes surrounding her, dangling from their padded hangers. She could manage that. "So what else is new?" Clara asked, sounding like she _really_ wanted to know. "I spoke to your _chaperone_ earlier… he sounded flustered. Anything interesting happening?"

"Funny you should ask." At least it was going to be easy to get onto the subject, Renesmee reflected. "I need some advice."

"Oo-o-oh," Clara said, sounding almost scandalized. "Tell me everything."

"There's nothing to tell," Renesmee said quickly. "Not really. It's just… I found out today that he's definitely interested."

"Go on…"

"And I tried to talk to him about it… but he got upset. And then we almost kissed, and then he…"

"Yeah?"

She sighed heavily. "He ran away."

"He _what_?"

"He chickened out. He acted like he really wanted to, but there was something huge stopping him."

Clara made an angry clicking noise with her tongue. "Is there?"

"Um, maybe… I think he's afraid of my dad," Renesmee admitted sheepishly. "I get the impression that keeping his hands off me might have been part of the deal they made when my dad agreed to let him come out here with me."

"Okay, Ness. You've gotta tell me straight up… is your Dad a mob boss or something? Because seriously, if I was this chaperone of yours, and I had a pretty girl throwing herself right at me, no daddy in the world would be stopping me. Except maybe the Godfather.." Renesmee burst out laughing, quickly catching herself and lowering her voice. She didn't want Jacob to overhear and think that she was having a grand old time, locked away in her room.

"No," she said, still chuckling. "He's not a mob boss. But he can be kind of… intimidating when it comes to his loved ones. And the rest of my family's not exactly _under_protective, either." Clara made a low, humming noise, like she got it.

"Okay. I see what you're saying. But if I know boys –and I do—I know that paternal mandates on appropriate behavior where young, beautiful daughters are concerned can only carry so far before they become less of a hindrance and more of an incentive." When Renesmee said nothing in response, she continued, "In other words, the more he fights it, the sexier the idea becomes. The thing about forbidden fruit? It always, _always_ gets eaten. They can't resist. So prepare to be bitten, my dear."

Renesmee could have groaned at the unintentional double entendre. But then she started to wonder: was Clara right? And if so, what could she do to speed up the process? "So, what now? Am I just supposed to wait? I'm not sure I can do that… it's really killing me to stay away from him."

There was a pause. "You really like this guy, don't you?" Clara said, in a voice much softer and more sincere than before. "He's not just some hot conquest?"

"No," she replied, "He's not. He's… pretty much my whole world."

"Wow." Clara whistled softly into the receiver. "That's a big statement."

"It happens to be true. Inconvenient, but true." Renesmee exhaled slowly. "So… what should I do?"

"Ever seen 'Cabaret'?" Clara asked, in what seemed like a complete one-eighty.

"Sure."

"Okay, remember when that English student of Brian's falls in love with the pretty, rich Jewish girl?"

"Yeah…"

"And he goes to Brian and Sally, all forlorn, and asks them what to do about it, and Sally tells him to pounce?"

"Uh-huh…"

"Honey," Clara said frankly, "I think you need to pounce."

Renesmee felt herself flushing. "I'm… not sure if I can do that," she said, as embarrassed as she'd ever been. "I'm not really that aggressive." _Not unless I'm taking down wildlife, anyway._

"It doesn't have to be aggressive, although that works too," Clara said. "But you can do it in your own special way. I'm not suggesting you maul the poor guy… if you think subtle is better, go with that. But be frank, be clear, and above all else, be naked."

Renesmee almost choked on her own surprise. "Naked?" She spat out, horrified. "I can't… he'll think I'm… loose, or something."

Clara's husky laugh rang clearly through the phone. "Loose? Ness, honey, were you raised in the nineteen fifties by Irish nuns?" Renesmee blushed… she wasn't _that_ far off. Her father was particularly archaic in his views on marriage and physical love. "Look, just because you use your body to entice the man that you're clearly in love with, who obviously loves you back and is, by all accounts, quite physically attracted to you, doesn't make you some sort of scarlet woman. It makes you practical, and proactive. I mean, if you don't feel comfortable, by all means don't do it. But if you take a good hard look at your own feelings and find that you _do_ want to, then I think you really should. I mean… why not? If it's going to happen anyway, why not?"

Renesmee felt a jolt as Clara echoed her words from before. _Why not?_ She had felt it at that moment, when they'd stood so close together in her doorway. Their bodies had almost come up against each other. Their lips had almost met. Renesmee had physically felt her own body calling out for Jacob's. If he hadn't pushed her away, she most certainly would have kept going, until she'd touched every part of him with every part of herself. Did she want to?

Oh yeah. She wanted to.

"You might have a point there," she said slowly. Clara laughed again, that deep, almost suggestive chuckle.

"You're gonna do it, aren't you?"

Renesmee smiled and shook her head. "I have to go," she said firmly.

"Oh, now… that's just not fair! I want to hear the plan."

"Goodbye, Clara. I'm hanging up now."

"Tell me how it goes!" The other girl shouted as Renesmee prepared to hang up.

"Bye," she said one last time, before hitting the end button. She smirked. Self-assured Clara would simply relish in the suspense. And a little secrecy got her out of having to plot the gory details with someone else.

Of course, working it out on her own wasn't going to be easy, either. Renesmee sighed and rose slowly to her feet. She could do this… problem solving was one of her strengths. She emerged from the closet and began to brainstorm how best to pounce when your prey is a gigantic wolf. All that resulted from her planning was that she became more and more nervous.

A couple hours later, and she was a complete wreck. She'd decided to do it, and then decided to repeal her decision, at least five separate times. It just wasn't in her to be overtly seductive, no matter how much she wanted to be. And all she really wanted was to climb into Jacob's bed beside him, curl up next to him for safety like she had as a little girl, and tell him exactly how she felt.

And then it dawned on her: that was exactly what she needed to do. Clara had said to do things in her own way. So she would do just exactly that. She would follow her instincts, her emotions and insecurities, as well as Clara's advice. She would be frank, she would be clear.

And she would also be naked.

**In the Next Chapter:**

"_I'm sorry… I guess I just thought… I don't know what I thought, actually. Maybe I didn't. I just… It got kind of lonely in my room. I've been thinking about things all night, and I can't get my mind to stop. I was hoping you wouldn't mind. You never used to," she said, and then added, "When I was little."_

_Jacob could feel his skin burning a little hotter than usual. "You haven't been little for a very long time, Ness."_


	18. No Fair Using Nudity to Get Your Way

**A/N: **So here it is… the next chapter. It's one of my favorites so far… I have a feeling some of you might feel the same way!

Thanks again to everyone who reviewed… you guys are the best! Your input keeps me going… it's a struggle not to edit and post all the chapters at once, just to hear what you all have to say =) I'm anxious to hear what everyone thinks of this chapter… I'm sure there will be many points of view on what goes on! I'll do my best to explain myself to those who review, to the point that I can do so without ruining the story.

Enjoy!

~Crit.

**Chapter 18: No Fair Using Nudity to Get Your Way**

Jacob was startled out of his sleep by the feel of something warm resting against his body. It was such a soothing feeling. He embraced the sensation for only one quick moment before becoming fully conscious.

"Ness?" His voice was rough from sleep. "What are you doing in here?"

"Couldn't sleep," Renesmee replied, her voice very close in the darkness. She rolled away from him slightly. "I'm sorry… I guess I just thought… I don't know what I thought, actually. Maybe I didn't. I just… It got kind of lonely in my room. I've been thinking about things all night, and I can't get my brain to stop. I was hoping you wouldn't mind. You never used to," she said, and then added, "When I was little."

Jacob could feel his skin burning a little hotter than usual. Why was she doing this to him, after what they'd been through that afternoon? He'd been pretty clear. "You haven't been little for a very long time, Ness."

"No," she said quietly. "I'll go, I guess.' Jacob sighed and groped blindly in the pitch dark until his hand closed around her arm.

"Get back here," he said grudgingly, "You know I don't mind." And he didn't. He was the opposite of minding. He just _should_ have minded, and that was most of the trouble.

"I know." He could picture her tiny ghost of a smirk. Something soft and smooth brushed his leg. And again. And a third time, higher up. It took him a moment to realize that Renesmee was running one smooth leg over his, and that said leg was bare. He reached down reflexively, his huge paw of a hand coming to rest on a bare thigh. His other hand was still against her arm, and he moved it now, up to her shoulder and across... across to where her shirt should have been… but wasn't…

"Renesmee!" He choked out, pulling his hand away as id she was on fire, "You don't have any clothes on!"

Renesmee was silent for a long time, and then a quiet voice very near to him said, "I'm wearing shorts. I… couldn't take them off."

Jacob didn't even bother to analyze the last half of that statement. "You don't have anything on your top half?!" He was panicking. This was wrong, this was not how it was supposed to go! Wrong, wrong, wrong. He never should have let her see his interest earlier. Now she was here, acting on what she'd clearly realized were his fantasies. He couldn't move.

"Neither do you," Renesmee pointed out, putting a hand against his chest for emphasis. "I've seen you millions of times, when you've just phased. Why shouldn't we be even?"

"That's what you're doing, getting even?" Jacob was surprised he could even speak. He wanted to be out of that bed so badly, but he couldn't force himself to move an inch in either direction. She would have to leave, not the other way around, and Jacob couldn't even muster the strength to tell her to go.

"No, Jake…" her voice wasn't teasing anymore, or even unsure. She sounded… weary. Tired, stressed. "I'm not trying to get even. I just... Oh damnit, I'm not doing this right at all."

Jacob suddenly felt his desire pulling back in intensity. He was no less centered on Renesmee, but now his concern for her was beginning to take precedence. She sounded genuinely conflicted, confused. He shifted over a bit, propping himself up against his pillow in a sitting position. His eyes had adjusted now that he was more awake, and his senses kicked in more keenly, and he could see, very faintly, Renesmee laying beside him. She, too, propped herself up, laying on her front and leaning on her elbows. Jacob tried very hard not to look down between her arms at her naked cleavage, and he hoped she would keep her eyes on his face and away from his lower half, which was currently covered by a blanket that really wasn't concealing much.

"Nessie," he said simply, "Just take your time."

She was peering at him intently through the dark. "Jacob… I know what I am to you." He couldn't respond. He knew that she knew. They'd been over this, sort of, but he could tell from the note of determination in her voice that she wasn't going to let him get away with avoiding the discussion this time. "I figured it out the other day. It wasn't all that tough to piece together once the lightening bolt hit me, with the way it's always been between us, and how everybody in my family acts when our names are mentioned together. And you've never been away from me for more than a few days in my entire life. And you're always worried about me, when you're not busy teasing me or letting me get my way. My Dad trusted you to take care of me without any of our family around… and my Dad rarely ever trusts anyone, for any reason. But it was like, when we suggested you coming here with me, he knew there was a reason that you would be the best person to do it. He just had this look on his face, like it was inevitable." Renesmee paused. "It _was_ inevitable, wasn't it?" Jacob was still frozen, saying nothing. "I've read the legends, you know… about Werewolves. And I know that's not what you are, exactly, but it's the closest I could figure to describe you and the pack, at least where legends are concerned. Some of the books say that Werewolves do something, when they find a mate, that binds them to that person inextricably. From the moment they see that one person, they're tied to them, That's what I was looking into today, when I went to Stamford to talk to that writer… he told me everything he knew about the legends, and explained this… process to me. It's called imprinting." Renesmee paused, her eyebrows raised, giving him a pointed stare. "Would you happen to know anything about that?"

"Yes." Jacob just barely managed to get the word out. Renesmee did not look surprised. He was actually proud of her; she'd clearly worked out that he couldn't tell her himself, and so she had decided to tell him, getting him off the hook on a technicality. He wondered if she'd spoken to her mother on the phone, after they'd had their moment in the hall. It seemed like a very Bella way of dealing with the situation.

Renesmee was examining his face searchingly. "You imprinted on me. Didn't you?" she asked in the same matter-of-fact tone as before.

"Yes."

They were both silent for a moment, and then, much more quietly, Renesmee said, "When? That's one thing I couldn't pin down… when, and how, it happens."

"When you were born. About two minutes after. Rosalie was holding you, and I saw you for the first time, and…" Jacob shrugged helplessly. "I knew."

Renesmee _did _look shocked this time. "That early?" she whispered. Jacob didn't bother answering; it wasn't really a question. "But… I was a baby!"

"It's complicated," Jacob answered. This was so wrong; he shouldn't be having this conversation, not now, not like this. He still didn't move. "It's not how you might be thinking, not at all."

"Did you want to…" Renesmee was now looking very unsure, her shoulders rigid and up near her ears. She looking like a wary cat, crouching to protect itself. "Did you want to _have sex_ with me?" Her voice was shaking; she could barely even say it without sounding disgusted. Jacob recoiled slightly, both at her dismay and at the idea itself.

"No," he said firmly. "Of course not."

Her head came up a bit, and her shoulders lowered as she went out of her defensive stance. "Do you, I mean, um…" she cleared her throat and tried again. "Do you want to now?"

Jacob looked at her, luminous white skin all but glowing in the dark room, cloud of auburn curls falling softly on her shoulders and around her face, which was staring up at him openly. "Yes," he breathed, and in one short syllable managed to let slip a good portion of the desire he felt at that very moment. Renesmee breathed in slowly. Jacob couldn't tell if that was good or bad.

"Jacob?"

"Yes, Renesmee?"

"I want you to, too." She didn't move, didn't blink, just watched for his reaction. He was frozen too, and then it was as if somebody had released him like a bullet from a gun. His arms shot forward and he grabbed hers, pulling her half onto his chest urgently but not roughly. Screw it, he thought to himself. He'd given Edward's orders due diligence. He'd tried, damn it. And Renesmee had foiled him. She clearly wanted to be with him, wanted it enough to find a way around his obviously reluctant refusal. She knew he wanted it too, and she'd decided to put them in a position where neither one of them would be able to back out or retreat. In a way, that just made him love her even more. Especially seeing as she was mostly naked, and laying on top of him.

Jacob felt Renesmee relax against him as his arms snaked around her frame, warm and heavy, pinning her to him. She touched his face, not to show him memories or feelings but to caress, naturally and needfully. They stared at each other in open wonder for a single moment before their lips came together.

They kissed and kissed, barely coming up for air. Jacob felt as if each particle in the room was vibrating, emitting its own pitch that harmonized perfectly with every other particle. Renesmee was here, she was with him, and she was _with_ him, and there was nothing that could feel any better, anywhere in the entire world.

"Jake," she murmured against his lips. She sounded almost reverent. Jacob couldn't believe it. He kissed her again.

"Nessie," he said desperately as they both back off for a moment to take a breath, "I don't even… I have to tell you… I've loved you so long, I…" He couldn't even manage a proper sentence, overcome with emotion as he was. "I just love you. I love you _so_ much."

"Shh." She brushed her fingers across his lips. "I know, Jacob. I know." And then she brought her mouth down to meet his again and kissed him with renewed vigor, and he kissed her back, feeling like he'd never be able to stop.

They were both caught in the moment, moving and acting on sheer impulse. Her lips, her hands were everywhere all at once. She was kissing his mouth, his cheeks, his neck, stroking and scratching at his chest, his stomach, his… "Ness," he breathed in sharply, catching her hand. "Hold on."

Renesmee froze. "I'm sorry… should I…" she began to withdraw her hand. Jacob wouldn't allow that either. He just needed to stop her for one moment. He held her hand still.

"_Wait,_" he said more firmly. "I just… This is the most important thing I have ever done. I need to know that it's what you want, what you _actually_ want. Not just… the physical part. The rest of it, too. After this… I won't be able to go back, and I'll never be able to give you up. Do you understand? We can't undo this."

"Why would I want to?" Renesmee freed her hand and brought it up to his face again. "I love you, Jacob Black. Do I need to use pictures, or is that something you can understand?"

Jacob felt his heart soar out of his body, burst into a million pieces and gather back up inside of him. She loved him. She said it. He knew she was telling the truth. It was impossible, but it was true… she loved him. "No, No pictures necessary," he replied. Then, a slow smile began to spread over his face. "Unless you've been picturing some sort of game plan…" he hollered gleefully as her caress turned into a forceful but playful smack.

"I haven't," she said, trying her best to look taken aback and failing. "That will have to wait. But I wouldn't be too disappointed… I've got a vivid imaginaaAAAH! JAKE!" Renesmee giggled as Jacob flipped her onto her back and pinned her to the mattress,

"Stop. Talking." Jacob ran one hand down her side from armpit to thigh to emphasis his point.

"Okay." Hands were everywhere again: hair, chests, faces, thighs…

"Renesmee?"

"Yes?"

"I'm not going to hurt you."

"It's okay."

"You have to tell me if it—"

"I'm _okay._"

"Because I want you to—"

"_Jacob!"_

"Okay."

oooOOOooo

"Jacob?"

"Ness?"

Cool fingers were tracing over his chest in a back-and-forth motion. "I was just wondering about some things…"

"Okay." Jacob rubbed Renesmee's arm in an encouraging way. "Ask me anything you want."

"Well…" Renesmee was quiet for a moment, like she was trying to work something out in her head. "Have you ever… done that before?" Jacob was not expecting _that_ to be her first question, and he hesitated. "You have," Renesmee said, answering her own question. It sounded like she was trying her best to disguise her disappointment.

"Yeah." Jacob wound his arms further around her. "I'm sorry. I have."

"It's okay… I figured." Renesmee placed a subconscious kiss on the most easily accessible part of him, which happened to be his bicep. "Who was she? Was it anyone I know?"

"No." Jacob felt embarrassed now. "I… don't freak out, okay?"

"I won't."

He sighed heavily. "I paid for it."

"You _paid_ for it." Jacob grimaced, not even wanting to search the darkness and see what look she had on her face. All of a sudden, her felt Renesmee's back begin to shake, and then she began to chuckle. "Really?"

Jacob shook his head. She _would _laugh at him over this. "Yeah. I did. Don't worry… it was all very safe."

"I'm sure." He could imagine her sarcastic smile. He looked down at her face… there it was, that smirk. "Well? How was it?"

"Pretty terrible, actually. I did it a couple times… thought it would get better. But it never did. She was nice and everything, good looking too… but it just didn't feel right."

"Why did you do it?"

"It was Quil's idea." Jacob sighed. "We were really young, not that it's any excuse, and we were both getting a bit… restless. And there was no way either one of us was going to date, so… so that was it. I'm not proud of it… like I said, I was young, and really stupid. But I'm not going to pretend it didn't happen. You have a right to know."

Renesmee nodded. "Fair enough. Thanks." She paused. "Was she Native?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes."

Jacob bristled. "Fine. She was."

"Hm. Jake, do you ever wish I was Native?"

"What? No, of course I don't!" He finally understood where the line of questioning was going. "I don't wish you were anything other than what you are." He tightened his arms around her. "Do you wish I was white? Or a vampire?" He had a moment of doubt before Renesmee chuckled again and patted his chest reassuringly.

"I literally could not care less what race you are. And as for being a vampire… don't tell my family, but I'm glad you're not. I like that you're warm, I like that you have a heartbeat. I like the idea that, when I wake up next to you, you'll actually have been sleeping too." She kissed him briefly. "I just wanted to know if it mattered to you at all."

"Not only does it really NOT matter, I've never even thought about it before now. Although, now that I think of it, I'm kind of glad you're not Quileute."

"What?" Renesmee turned to squint at him through the dark. "Why?"

"Because, for one thing, I kind of like your family. And if you tell the bloodsuckers I said that, I _will_ have to kill you."

"Like you could."

Jacob rolled his eyes. "And secondly, you might have turned out like Leah." Renesmee made a small, doubtful noise. "I don't mean her personality. I mean, you might have turned out to be a wolf. And if you were, there's no way you wouldn't be in my pack. And no offense, but I don't think it would be a good idea for you to be in my head all the time. Having your father there is already bad enough."

"Point taken." Renesmee shook her head. "I don't think I want you in my head all the time either. Sorry."

Jacob felt a smile creeping onto his face. "Oh, sure. Keeping secrets from me already?"

"Not exactly…" Jacob massaged her scalp with one huge hand.

"Oh? So what have you got going on in there that you feel you need to keep from me?"

Renesmee didn't say anything; instead, she reached up and placed her fingertips against Jacob's cheek. Suddenly his head was full of images much more vivid and lively than the real world ever was. It had been so long since Renesmee had shared her gift with him, and he could tell it had gotten stronger. He wasn't just watching… he was _inside_ the moving pictures. Jacob and Renesmee on a huge bed, legs entwined, lips together, hands flying in every direction. Jacob and Renesmee underneath the spray of their shower, definitely completely naked, and definitely not washing each other's hair. Jacob and Renesmee in every room of the apartment, in positions _he_ hadn't even thought of… just as quickly as they'd appeared, the images vanished and the dark room came rushing back.

"Um." He cleared his throat, trying to focus on something, anything, other than the fact that all the blood in his body was pooling around his midsection. "That is… wow. Now I'm _really _glad you're not in my pack."

She chuckled softly. "Yeah. That would be awkward, I guess, having everyone see." And then her cheeks turned scarlet, and Jacob knew exactly what was going through her mind. "Um, Jake… the pack, are they going to…"

"Yeah," he said, cutting her off. "They're going to see… us. I'm sorry, Nessie, but there's really no way around it. But if it makes you feel better, everybody's used to it. It happens all the time… and you have nothing to be embarrassed about. You're beautiful." He stroked a finger down the curve of her jaw, as if to accentuate his point.

"I'm still going to be mortified next time I see them," She said, putting a hand over her eyes. "I'll never be able to look them in the eyes again. Can't you just… not phase for like forty or fifty years? By then, I'll be so old I probably won't care."

Jacob laughed and lifted her hand away gently. "One, you're going to look exactly the same in fifty years, and two, I could tell you things about every single wolf you've ever met that would make you much, much less embarrassed about what we just did."

"I'm not embarrassed by that," She said quickly. "Just at the fact that they're going to relive it."

"Well, for the record, they may relive it, but trust me when I say it will not be a sexy experience. They're probably going to try very hard to forget it as best they can."

Renesmee looked a bit more comfortable at that. And then another slightly concerned look crossed her face. "Um, Jake? Don't be upset, okay, but I think we might have a bigger problem than the pack mind." Again, he knew exactly what she was aiming for.

"Your father," he said, feeling his own creeping sense of dread. "Yeah, I know. And actually, it might be worse than you're thinking. I sort of… promised him that I wouldn't tell you about the imprinting until he gave me permission. He wanted to have you find out in a… safer setting, I guess. A family-type setting."

Renesmee shrugged. "I sort of figured. From the way you acted earlier, I knew there was something pretty scary holding you back. That pretty much had to be my dad."

"And your mom," he muttered, a bit tersely. Renesmee made an incredulous face.

"My mom? But she loves you!"

"Yeah, well… let's just say, not as much as she loves you."

"Fair enough." Renesmee shook her head a little, her hair brushing tantalizingly across his chest. "Anyway, I don't think that will be a problem… you didn't tell me. I found out. You can't be blamed for that… you kept your promise." She looked mightily pleased with herself. Jacob hated to burst her bubble, but he figured she might as well have the whole truth now, rather than later.

"He also made it very clear that I was not to touch you."

"Oh." Renesmee frowned. "Well, I guess that is a problem. What did he say he'd do to you if you did? Or was it sort of more of an abstract type of threat?"

"No, it was pretty specific." He sighed. "He said he would 'remove me from your life'. His exact words."

"Ha!" Renesmee snuggled into his chest and looked up at him through her eyelashes. "Is that all? I'd like to see him try."

"Nessie, I think you underestimate your father's determination."

"Jacob," she parroted, "I think you underestimate mine." He couldn't help it, he had to laugh at her stern, gutsy tone and the look of determination in her voice. She smiled too, and then said, "Don't worry about my parents… we'll handle them together, when we have to, and for now we'll just focus on not having them find out."

Jacob was touched at the idea that she was willing to take on Edward and Bella for him, and he relaxed a bit. "Good plan. Besides, it's not like we're anywhere near them, or likely to be for a while." Renesmee flinched, and Jacob had a sinking feeling. "What?"

"Well…" She shifted so that she was facing him, her arms resting on his chest. "Don't be mad, okay?"

"Okay…" Jacob knew that anything prefaced by that disclaimer usually wasn't a good thing.

"I talked to my dad earlier in the evening, when we… weren't really speaking to each other. And he sort of implied that we should go home for Thanksgiving weekend." Jacob gave a derisive snort, and Renesmee rolled her eyes. "Not for the holiday, obviously. But for appearances sake. And also I think they miss us pretty badly."

"You mean they miss you pretty badly."

"You too." She eyed him seriously. "You know they love you. And you love them." He groaned.

"I never should have admitted that." She grinned in response.

"But you did. Anyway, I already told him yes. It'll smell funny to them if we back out."

"Crap."

"Yeah." She pouted a little, and then appeared to grow resigned and accepting. "I guess we'll work it out. Can't be that bad. We'll manage, right?"

"Right." Jacob wasn't fully convinced… but what other choice did he have? He'd have to face the vamps sometime… might as well be in two weeks, rather than two months. There would at least be less for him to not think about that way. A sudden thought occurred to him. "The pack! Do they know yet? Leah's been hounding me to come back for a couple weeks now…" Renesmee shook her head.

"I figured you'd want to tell them yourself." Jacob broke into a real, honest, untroubled smile.

"Excellent! It's so weird being out here without them… not that I mind, you know… but I just—"

"You miss them," Renesmee finished for him with a wistful smile. "I know how you feel." She planted a quick kiss on his chest, just below where her chin rested. "Maybe, when they come back, they can come visit for a week or so. I bet they'd love New York… well, Seth and Embry would, and Leah would probably tolerate it pleasantly enough." Jacob's loud guffaws rang throughout the room.

"Harsh," he said, still laughing, "Harsh, but apt." He ran a hand absent-mindedly through her messy curls and she smiled at him. "You're not too embarrassed about the pack-mind thing to have them hanging around here?"

"Nah," Renesmee said, drawing lazy circles on his chest with one fingertip, "The way I see it, it's your job to control your thoughts around them. Just like it's my job to control mine around my dad."

Jacob nodded. "That's fair. And it's not like I don't have a vested interest in keeping my thoughts clean… I don't want to share you, with anybody." Just to add to his statement, he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed as hard as he could. It wouldn't do her any harm, of course, but he thought it proved his point pretty nicely. Renesmee giggled and wrestled her way out of his grip, only to press her body against his once again after she'd managed to get free.

"You'd better try your best to forget what's about to happen, then, if you don't want Leah, Embry and Seth to see…"

"What's about to—oh." Jacob let his head fall back. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

_**In the Next chapter:**_

_Rideau opened his notebook. "So what's new? Tell me the most exciting thing about your Sunday."_

_Renesmee had a momentary flash of images, all of them of her and Jacob and the things they'd been up to the past few hours. None of these images were entirely appropriate for sharing. "I just hung out around the house," she said lamely, "with Jacob." She couldn't avoid the fondness that crept into her tone when she mentioned his name. Jacob. She suddenly wanted to be home very badly. _

_Rideau's expression had turned stony. "Great," he said in a way that suggested it was anything but._


	19. In Which Jacob is Vindicated

**A/N:** Thanks for all your feedback from the last chapter… I gather you all like the new developments in the Jake/Nessie relationship! So, I know I told you this chapter would be up on Sunday… but I got called in to work, so I'm posting early! For all of you who are in the same boat as me (staying home Saturday night because you've got to get up early on Sunday), here, this present is for you!

**I have a very important question**: Would you, the readers, allow me to change the rating on this story to Mature in order to allow some slightly racier content? I don't intend for this story to ever get TOO explicit, but I think a little elaboration might be a good idea. So, I'd like to put it to a vote: tastefully-done "love scenes" and a higher rating, or leave the rating as-is and censor the content to fit? Please let me know via reviews… I need to make a decision before I post the next chapter.

I hope you all enjoy this one. I'm looking forward to your reactions… thanks for reading, and please review!

~Crit.

**Chapter 19: In which Jacob is Vindicated**

"Hi."

Renesmee jumped in her seat at the sound of Rideau's voice. She'd almost forgotten their Monday morning routine, but as he slid the enormous paper cup into her hand she thanked every god she could think of that he'd remembered. She took a long, leisurely sip of her Americano and then looked up at him with thankful eyes.

"Hi," she replied. "Oh, Jesus, thank god for coffee."

Rideau grinned at her as he settled into his chair. "Doesn't look like you got too much sleep last night," he remarked casually. "Homework?"

Renesmee tried to stop her cheeks from colouring. Actually, she hadn't gotten _any_ sleep at all. "Something like that," she said in her best imitation of a casual tone. "Anyway, this coffee is really saving me."

"I'm happy to be your savior." Rideau opened his notebook. "So what's new? Tell me the most exciting thing about your Sunday."

Renesmee had a momentary flash of images, all of them of her and Jacob and the things they'd been up to the past few hours. None of these images were entirely appropriate for sharing. "I just hung out around the house," she said lamely, "with Jacob." She couldn't avoid the fondness that crept into her tone when she mentioned his name. _Jacob._ She suddenly wanted to be home very badly.

Rideau's expression had suddenly turned stony. "Great," he said in a way that suggested it was anything but. He turned to his text book and started thumbing through it without really looking. Renesmee sighed quietly. There was nothing to do but confront the tension between Rideau and Jacob. She'd gone on deluding herself into thinking they were getting along fine for far too long now. This couldn't go on without being discussed.

"Reed," she said gently, trying to purge any impression of nervousness from her voice, "I know you and Jake aren't the best of friends, but he's a really big part of my life, and—"

"Look, I get it," Rideau said, closing the cover of his book with a little too much force. "Can we just change the subject?"

Renesmee shook her head. "I don't think we can," she said uncomfortably. "Look, you and I are friends, and I really value that. But in order for our friendship to work, you have to at least _try_ to get along with Jacob. I know you're not his biggest fan, but Jake is my…" she struggled to try and find the right word for their relationship. _Boyfriend_ sounded kind of juvenile, _Partner _was so sterile, and _Lover_ just sounded ridiculous. "I love him," she finally said, quietly and firmly. "I'm always going to, and I'm really going to have trouble holding a conversation with you if you go all cloudy day on me every time I mention his name."

Rideau was looking at her with a mixture of disappointment and sadness, two emotions that she'd never seen on his face before but that were nonetheless instantly recognizable. Then, without a single word to her, he swept his belongings off the desk and into his messenger bag and rose swiftly, heading for the back door.

"Reed!" She yelled after him, and then, louder, "Rideau, wait!" Those of their classmates who had already taken their seats were watching her with growing interest. Renesmee didn't care; she sat there, frozen, for a few minutes before she grabbing her bag and marching after him, carefully restraining herself from charging at full speed. Clara tried to grab her arm as she breezed past, but Renesmee looked down at her and shook her head, and her friend shrank back in her seat upon seeing the intensity of her expression.

She found him outside, on the path that lead in the direction of his building. He was about two hundred feet ahead of her, and she easily closed the distance at a light jog, barely exerting any energy whatsoever. He went rigid as she gripped his shoulder and spun him around with a fraction of her full strength. "Rideau Linley," she said in a stern voice, "What is _wrong_ with you?"

Rideau's lips were set in a hard, unyielding line. The brilliant light from the early morning sun glanced off of the lenses of his glasses, making it look as though his eyes were blazing down at her. "What's wrong with _me?"_ he said, almost mockingly. "What's wrong with _you_, Ness?" She hadn't let go of his shoulder, and now he grabbed both of hers. "What are you thinking? You're way, way too smart to follow this pattern."

Renesmee was keenly aware that she'd missed something. "What?" she said dumbly. "What pattern? I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You, Jacob… the whole thing, it's the classic pattern of an abusive relationship."

"Excuse me?" Renesmee was certain she must have misheard him. "I'm going to need you to repeat what you just said, because it couldn't _possibly_ have been what I thought I heard."

Rideau sighed heavily and shook his head. "Ness, you can stop pretending. I know exactly what's going on." The hands that had been gripping her shoulders moved to the sides of her arms, almost like a caress. Rideau's expression had softened, and he was looking deep into her eyes. "I've seen this happen before to people I… people I care about, and I can recognize the signs. He's a big guy with a short fuse, quick to go off on anyone who challenges him; you call him passionate. He's obsessed with you, always watching your every move; you call him protective. Every time he behaves angrily—or is it violently?—you brush it off by saying it's nothing you haven't been through before, and then you change the subject. You call me late at night on a Saturday when you two have been together, with little to no explanation, and ask me to come with you to the library, just so you can get out of your apartment and away from _him_." He squeezed her arms gently, in a way that Renesmee assumed was meant to be reassuring. "Ness, it's okay. You _do_ have a way out of this. I can help you. You don't have to go through this alone."

Renesmee stood there, stunned, for a few moments. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Only when Rideau hesitantly brushed one thumb across the tender skin on the inside of her arm did the world come back into focus. "Let go of me," she said slowly in a low, careful voice.

"Ness, let me help you." He didn't loosen his grip.

"Rideau, I'm warning you, let me go _now_." She could feel a small bubble of anger rising in her throat. With that anger came the heightened senses she'd worked so hard to repress over the past few months. She could hear every leaf in every tree along the path brushing against its neighbours. The scent of Rideau's blood, warm and wet and tantalizing, traveled towards her in swells as his heart pumped, faster and harder than usual.

A sudden look of bravery joined the determination in Rideau's face. "No," he said firmly. "I can't. I've got you now, Ness, and if you'll let me help you I promise you that I will never let you go."

"Get off of me!" The bubble burst and Renesmee ripped herself easily out of his grasp. Rideau stepped back suddenly, looking alternately at his hands and at her face. He looked terrified. Renesmee was keenly aware that she had used more strength than a normal human girl of her size and stature would usually be capable of, and she didn't care. Let him be frightened. "You listen to me," she said, her voice low. "First, let me make one thing clear: Nobody, not Jacob or you or anybody else, lays a hand on me if I don't want them to." She took a step towards him, and he leaned ever so slightly away from her. Renesmee thought fleetingly that she must look supernatural at the moment, with her vampiric qualities enhanced by her rage, her skin gleaming, faintly iridescent in the bright sun. Good. She had a point to make. "Second, and I hope you listen to me when I say this: Jacob would never, never hurt me. Not ever. I am the most important person in his world… I'm the centre of it. And he's the centre of mine. We were designed by nature and fate to be together, and nothing will ever change that." Her anger intensified as she raged at him. "How dare you even suggest that Jacob has anything but the utmost love and respect for me? You can't understand our relationship, and so you take it and create some sick, horrible story to turn yourself into a hero and me into a helpless victim? Well, I'm not a victim, and I'm far from helpless. And the only thing you are is a self-important egotist insulting the man I love."

"Ness, I—"

"I'm not finished." Renesmee wasn't about to let him talk his way out the argument without having said her peace. "I have to ask you one question, and I want you to tell me the truth. I have to know: is this about more than you being worried that I'm being mistreated at home?"

Rideau was refusing to look her in the eye. "I don't really know what you mean," he said, sounding thoroughly unconvincing.

"Yes you do. We both do. I've done everything I could to ignore the signs, even when they were obvious, even when Jacob warned me, because I wanted a friend _so badly_. I wanted someone I could trust, who wanted to spend time with me not because of any sort of drama or ulterior motive but just because he liked being around me. Human beings make friends; I just wanted to be human." Renesmee stopped herself, aware that she'd said too much.

"Ness, you are human," Rideau looked as though he were about to reach out for her, and then thought better of it. "And I am your friend. It's just that, after I became your friend, I liked you so much. And it hurt to see you with _him_, especially since I could tell that the two of you were hiding something." He shook his head. "I _know_ there's something tying you to him. I wish you'd at least try to get free."

Renesmee was flabbergasted. She'd basically told him that she wasn't a human being, and he'd completely missed it. Carlisle was right; given any sort of choice, people always believe what's easiest rather than what's really true. "Did you ever stop to think about the fact that what Jacob and I share might not be something I _want _to be free of?" She shook her head. "Here's the thing, Rideau: I _like_ being tied to Jacob. Sure, maybe we fight sometimes. Maybe we piss each other off and say stupid things to each other. But we've known each other forever; how could we not? Our relationship is changing, and working it out hasn't been easy, not all the time. But the fact is, he knows and loves me better than any person on the planet, and he understands everything about me, things you could never understand."

Rideau suddenly met her eyes, and Renesmee almost faltered under the depth of emotion in his gaze. "I could try." His voice was very soft, almost inaudible to the human ear, but Renesmee heard every nuance and fluctuation of tone in those three words. Her resolve melted away as suddenly as her rage had come on, and she understood at last what was happening. Rideau wasn't trying to be selfish or cruel or arrogant. This wasn't about his petty dislike of Jacob, or his desire to play a heroic part. She had done everything that could possibly repel a person, from throwing a tantrum to making scary, albeit half-veiled, threats to nearly breaking his wrists. And yet here he was, heart racing faster than she'd ever heard a human heart beat, offering to try to understand her deepest secrets.

He loved her.

"You _could_ try," she said in a much softer tone, trying to will some of the tension out of her body, "But, Reed… you'd only fail." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, but it's just not possible."

The hurt he was feeling swam in his eyes. She could almost smell it. "Why not?" he said, his voice cracking in a way that was so completely _mortal_. Renesmee felt the spreading ache of sympathy. "Ness, there isn't anything about you that I wouldn't—"

"Please!" She yelled the word just to stop him from finishing his sentence. "Please, just stop it. I don't want this. I don't want to hear any of this from you." He reached out tentatively for her arm. His fingertips brushed her skin.

"If you'd just give me a chance…" Renesmee grabbed his fingers and squeezed them in her fist, twisting his hand away from her forearm. She was dimly aware of him wincing, but in her anger she couldn't bring herself to really care.

"I told you to stop," she said lethally. "And I meant it. Seems to me, since you're the one putting your hands on me when I tell you not to, that _this_ relationship is the one that's no good for me." She released his hand—he clutched it with a pained expression— and then shot him a withering look of disapproval. "Guess I'm not smarter than that after all, am I?" Without waiting for his answer, she turned on her heel and began to walk away at a pace that was slow enough to look human but fast enough that it would get her out of reach as soon as possible. He called after her, but Renesmee didn't turn, letting his voice fade into the noise of the city as she got further away, breaking into a run and not stopping until she was home.

*~*~*~*

"I'll kill him."

"Jacob, come on…"

"No, I'll _kill_ him." Jacob looked like he was half a second away from that skin-quaking, fur-sprouting, snarling-growling-ball-of-claws-and-teeth thing that he did every so often, and Renesmee didn't exactly relish having to calm him down once he reached that state. Best to do it now, while there was less chance of him breaking her stuff. She placed a gentle hand on his arm.

"Just calm down, okay?" She looked up at him pleadingly. "I know this is upsetting for you, but right now _I_ am upset too, and I need to talk to my best friend." She moved a bit closer to him, knowing that her proximity would likely help set his head right. Or at least away from violence, which was the main objective. "Please, Jake."

He took a long, deep breath and then released it slowly, staring straight ahead the whole time. When he finally looked down at her, the hard lines in his face had dissolved into a soft, sympathetic expression. He placed his hand overtop of hers and pressed it gently. "Sorry," he said sincerely. "The idea of him going after you just kinda makes my blood boil."

"You should have seen my reaction," Renesmee replied, a bit shamefully. "There's a slight but very real possibility that I may have broken his hand." Jacob chuckled. "Jake! Not funny!"

"Sorry," Jacob said again. This time, Renesmee didn't believe him. She covered her face with her hands and shook her head.

"Oh God," she moaned, "I'm such a disaster! I make exactly two friends on my grand quest to discover my humanity, and all that results from it is that one of them ends up maimed and heartbroken."

"This is why you can't have nice things," Jacob quipped, rubbing her back soothingly. She lifted her face for a moment to glare at him before sinking it into the fabric of his shirt.

"He's never going to forgive me," She said, her voice muffled. Jacob's hand stilled.

"Whoa, mind repeating that last part? Because it's the craziest thing, but I could have sworn I heard you say you wanted him to forgive you." Renesmee looked up at him again and rolled her eyes.

"Oh, come on, Jake. Rideau's my friend. And as pissed off as I am right now for the things he said about you, about us, I still want to be friends with him."

Jacob was shaking his head vigorously. "No way," he said firmly. With a good measure of trouble, Renesmee stepped out of his embrace and took a few steps away from him.

"Excuse me? That's not your decision." She crossed her arms, and Jacob stood square to face her, mimicking her stance.

"I'm not going to let you be friends with someone who's trying to take you away from me," he said, maintaining a surprising amount of cool. Renesmee let out a short bark of laughter.

"It's not a matter of you _letting_ me do anything. And unless you're intent on proving Rideau right, I'd suggest you retract your previous statement." Jacob huffed sullenly.

"I don't like it, Nessie."

"That's too bad." Renesmee stared him down. Finally, Jacob's shoulders slumped, and he dropped his arms to his sides in defeat.

"You really want to be friends with him," he said, more a statement than a question. "If that's what you want… well then, I'm behind it." It looked like it took Jacob an awful amount of effort to say the words, and Renesmee felt instantly guilty. Was his compliance the work of his imprint, forcing him to be supportive because it was what she needed from him? Or was he doing this out of love for her, and out of respect for her feelings? Maybe it was a bit of both. Renesmee didn't want it to matter; she wanted him to really understand that this course of action was the right one.

"You're still upset that I want to stay friends with him," she said, leading him a few feet away to sit on the couch. "I want you to be okay with it, before I try to talk to him. I'm not going to be ready to do that for a while, anyway, but I need you to understand that it's going to happen eventually, and to be fine with that eventuality." Jacob sat down beside her.

"I just don't think you understand what's going on in his head," he said to her, frowning. "He's in love with you. You don't know what that's like, but I do, and I'm telling you right now that he's not going to give up that easily."

"It's a crush, Jacob, not an imprint."

Jacob met her eyes, one brow raised. "You know that half of your DNA is specially designed to attract and infatuate humans, right?"

Renesmee sighed. "Okay, so maybe it's a little more than a crush. But Rideau's a smart guy, and I know that we really_ are_ friends. I have to believe that, when all is said and done, that's what's going to remain: our friendship." Jacob was still sulking. "What?"

When he looked back up at her, his expression was pained. "Here's how it is: supposing he doesn't give up? He agrees to be your friend, but secretly he's still trying to win you over, dropping little hints here and there about how compatible the two of you are. You do all of your little academic study-buddy things, going to museums and lectures and poring over texts or dusting artifacts or whatever. And then one day it hits you: you and this guy have everything in common, and here you are, stuck with the Dog-Faced Boy while Clark Kent goes back to the fortress of Solitude every night by himself." Jacob shrugged. "That, of course, is just one of many ways I see it happening."

Renesmee regarded him incredulously. "You can't be serious," she said, and when Jacob nodded she squeezed her eyes shut as if her head hurt very badly. "Oh for the love of…" she scooted towards him on the couch and took one of his hands in both of hers, looking deep into his eyes. "Jacob Black," she said clearly and firmly, "That is never going to happen." She stroked the bronzed, callused skin of his palm. "Nor any other scenario which might bring about the same result." She grinned up at him. "I love my Dog-Faced Boy." This got a tiny smile out of Jacob, who curled his fingers around hers. "You know, you're really going to have to get over that. I intend to have friends for the rest of my life, and some of them might even be male. And since I'll probably live forever, there will likely be a lot of these friends. And none of them will ever, _ever_ change how I feel about you. So you might as well just get used to it."

Renesmee could tell she'd won him over by the look on Jacob's face, a mixture of relief and devotion that brought about a tight clenching sensation in her chest. He leaned forward slightly and planted a small, quick kiss on her nose.

"Okay," he said, smiling a little. "I'm sorry… again."

"Don't apologize, Jacob… just try to trust me a little in the future, okay?"

"I do trust you," he said earnestly. "I just worry."

"You never have to worry about that." She went to press a chaste kiss to his cheek, and was taken off-balance when Jacob suddenly turned his head and captured her lips with his own. They stayed like that for a few moments, until Jacob pulled back and gave a very theatrical yawn.

"Geez," he said loudly, "I'm _really_ tired." Renesmee narrowed his eyes at him.

"Uh-huh…" she said skeptically. Jacob flashed a mischievous look at her.

"You look pretty wiped too. We should probably go to bed early… I wouldn't want you to be too tired to focus in class tomorrow."

"Oh," She replied, putting on a concerned tone of voice. "Maybe you're right. That would be awful. Better safe than sorry, right?"

"Right." In one motion, Jacob had scooped her up from the couch, and in another he'd dashed up the stairs. "Your place or mine?"

"Jacob," she said, exasperated, "It's all our place. Just pick a room, already!"

She didn't need to tell him twice.

_**In the Next Chapter:**_

_Jacob felt his cruel sense of victory fading. Renesmee was clearly unhappy at the loss of her friendship, and as much as he didn't care whether he ever saw the little twerp again or not, he knew that she did. It made him feel bad to know that she was worried over the situation, while he was so consistently happy all the time. "You shouldn't beat yourself up over it, Nessie," He said in his most soothing voice. "He kinda had it coming, hitting on you like that when you'd already told him no." Something in his memory twigged at that, and he debated for a moment over whether or not to tell her_ that_ particular story…_


	20. A History Lesson

**A/N: **Chapter 20… whoa.

Thanks for your reviews, and for weighing in on the ratings issue. As you can see, I've changed the rating of this story to Mature. I tried to rework what I had written, and it just didn't feel right anymore. I think that the physical part of Jacob and Nessie's relationship is hugely important to the story, especially in future chapters, and I think it feels really inorganic to leave it out. So I'm changing the rating, and leaving the scenes in.

That said, THERE IS SEX IN THIS CHAPTER. It's not really graphic, and I personally think it's tasteful enough not to offend, but if that sort of thing bothers you, you may want to stop reading after Jacob and Nessie finish their conversation. But DO read the conversation… it's important!

Thanks for reading, as always! Please don't forget to review!

Enjoy!

~Crit.

**Chapter 20: A History Lesson**

Two weeks passed unbelievably quickly. Renesmee continued to go to class as usual, although her coffee runs with Rideau quickly morphed into lunches and shopping trips with Clara. At night, she returned home to Jacob, as she had before, except that now a certain amount of careless joy hung over her head as she walked to the loft, and her heart was light and unencumbered.

Their evenings were full of each other, and they were both surprised and delighted that, even having known each other so long, there were still things left to discover about one another. The ticklish spot on Jacob's side, for example, or the fact that Renesmee sometimes transmitted images of her dreams while she slept.

And Jacob was happy. He was almost crazy with his own happiness. Most of the time, he was able to keep it in check and act like a regular, sane person. But every so often, when Renesmee would look at him a certain way or do something to remind him that yes, this was all real, he would turn in to a complete lunatic, and his love for her would explode out of him in ways that usually resulted in him tackling her to the ground. He thought to himself that it was fortunate neither one of them minded staying in a lot, otherwise they might eventually run into some trouble with regards to public decency.

There was still the matter of the abrupt split of Renesmee and Rideau's friendship. Jacob kept expecting the usurper to show up and start harassing them again, but it didn't happen, and finally he had to ask Renesmee about it, unable to handle the suspense. He kept it pleasant, putting it forward as though he was concerned on her behalf over her friend disappearing, but she saw right through it.

"You don't have to worry about him anymore," she said rather sullenly, "We are no longer speaking."

Jacob tried not to look too pleased. "Aw, Nessie. Is he ignoring you?"

She nodded, her expression pretty dark. "Not even a phone call. And then on Monday, instead of sitting at our regular desk, he sat near the back, next to the girl with the terrible hair and eyeliner. They were chatting and _laughing_, like old buddies."

"What a jerk," Jacob said sympathetically, rubbing her back gently while dancing a mental jig. He knew that he'd long since won, but that didn't mean he'd stopped playing.

"Oh, and you'll be happy to know that I _did_ break his hand. He's got a cast that goes up past his wrist." She gave a small, joyless smile. "At least he hasn't tried to sue me yet… that would involve him actually contacting me, which he doesn't seem all that keen on doing."

Jacob felt his cruel sense of victory fading. Renesmee was clearly unhappy at the loss of her friendship, and as much as he didn't care whether he ever saw the little twerp again or not, he knew that she did. It made him feel bad to know that she was worried over the situation, while he was so consistently happy all the time. "You shouldn't beat yourself up over it, Nessie," He said in his most soothing voice. "He kinda had it coming, hitting on you like that when you'd already told him no." Something in his memory twigged at that, and he debated for a moment over whether or not to tell that particular story, before deciding that she could probably handle it. It might even make her laugh. "I'm gonna tell you something that happened a long time ago. It's a bit weird, but I think you should know." Her angry expression had turned to one of interest, and Jacob took that as an encouragement. "Okay, so you've hinted to me a couple of times that you might know about the history between me and your mom."

Renesmee made a face and drew back slightly. "I don't, not really. But I sort of pieced a potential history together from things you and her and the rest of the family have said over the years. It doesn't exactly fill me with joy, but I kind of figured you two were… involved? Somehow, at some point. I can't really figure out how it all fits together with dad and everything else, though."

So Jacob gave her a brief version of how it had happened, just the bare bones: Edward and Bella fell in love, Edward left Bella for her own good, Bella turned to Jacob in her time of need, Jacob fell for Bell –hard—and she didn't exactly discourage him, Edward came back, Bella went back to Edward. Wedding, pregnancy, baby, imprinting, the startling realization that his feelings for Bella had been due in large part to his future imprint on her daughter. Renesmee listened to him wide gradually widening eyes, until he reached the end of the tale.

"Whoa," she said softly. "You were right… that's pretty weird, Jake."

He shrugged. "I've come to embrace the weird in my life. I like the weird." She laughed at this, and Jacob felt a small sense of relief. She was taking it all in stride. He'd figured she would, but it was still a bit nerve-wracking. "Anyway, that wasn't really what I wanted to tell you, but it was important to set the scene first."

"Okay…" She was looking at him warily, like she wasn't sure how much more crazy she could handle. Jacob just shook his head.

"Don't worry. It all works out in the end." He gestured between them, and Renesmee chuckled and nodded. "Okay, so after your Dad came to his senses, your mom found herself with a big decision to make. Now, your dad figured he'd play it cool and let her make the choice for herself… although if she'd chosen differently, I'm not sure how long _that_ would have lasted. Anyway, I wasn't about to give up. And as it became more and more clear that she was gonna choose him, I got more and more clingy. I hadn't exactly figured out at that point how to take 'no' for an answer, and so I sort of… tricked her into thinking she was in love with me, too. I pushed pretty hard… I cared about her, and I also wanted to _win_. I tried to convince her to love me, confessed all my feelings for her, slandered your father left right and center… in other words, I acted pretty much exactly like Jerkbag did to you last week." Renesmee was just staring at him, slack-jawed. Jacob gave her a wry smile. "I was a total turd, and I way overstepped my boundaries. And it worked… for all of fifteen minutes. That was about how long it took for your mom to realize what was going on. And when she had it all sorted out, she chose your dad. And I was pretty upset. But it all worked out, right?"

Renesmee looked at him, incredulous. "I can't believe she just _let_ you get away with that!"

"Well, she didn't… not exactly. The first time I really put the moves on her, she yelled at me so loud it nearly took my head off, and then she punched me in the face."

"Oh my god! While you were in human form?" Renesmee's hand flew to her mouth. "That could have killed you!"

Jacob laughed. "No, sweetheart… not in a million years. Your mom was human then, remember?" Renesmee registered this information with a look of surprise.

"Right. I forget sometimes that she ever was." She shook her head. "Well, I hope she at least left a bruise."

"Actually," Jacob said sheepishly. "She broke her hand. BUT, isn't it the thought that counts? My point is, She was furious with me, and I was heart-broken and upset with her, and yet here we are, still friends, and everybody is where they should be." He gave Renesmee a meaningful look. "The universe has a way of shaking things down until they settle right. I guess that's what I'm trying to say."

"Wow, Jake," Renesmee said sarcastically, "You thought you make me feel better with a story about how you put seriously injured my mother with your hard head?" But there was an amused expression on her face, and Jacob knew his plan had worked. She was feeling better.

"Well, if she hadn't wanted to take the risk, she shouldn't have gone and attacked someone three times her size, with super-human DNA." He looked smugly at Renesmee as she tried not to crack up, and then snaked one arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him, sighing into her hair. "Anyway, I'm sorry it upsets you so much, but if that story tells you anything, it's that relationships can change, and sometimes something that hurts real badly can end up turning into something better than you thought it could be." Renesmee looked up at him.

"That was a pretty wise little monologue, Jake," she said, half-mocking and half-adoring. He laughed and kissed her on the forehead.

"Well, I'm a pretty wise guy." Now she laughed outright. "What?" he said, mock-offended.

"I love you, that's what," she replied, shaking her head. And just like that, Jacob knew he'd made it better, at least for the time being. Her grin only got wider as he grabbed both of her hands and pulled her up the stairs, walking backwards so that he didn't have to take his eyes off her. If things worked out in his favor, he was hoping he wouldn't have to look away, preferably not ever again.

He tried not to think, as they began to undress each other, about how this was their last night in the loft before they had to go back to the Cullen Compound and face their respective clans. The vamps would be harder than the wolves, since none of them were allowed to find out what was going on. The wolves already knew, of course, and aside from some bitter and biting comments from Leah, everyone was thrilled. But the vampires would be more difficult… and Edward would be next to impossible.

Of course, he didn't want to worry about that now. Not when his beautiful soulmate was naked in front of him and lowering herself seductively onto his bed.

"Jacob…" Renesmee muttered his name as Jacob ran his lips gently over her throat, ghosting from earlobe to clavicle. He knew that she was craving a firmer touch, but he wanted to provoke her, tease her to the point where she had to make him do it by force. She knew exactly what he was doing, too… they'd done this before, this test of wills. It always ended well, regardless of who finally gave in, but they still made it a virtual fight to the death every time.

They were both completely naked, Jacob holding his body so that it hovered ever-so-slightly above hers, every now and then making contact in strategic places. As she breathed in and out, heavily, her chest met his, her breasts brushing tantalizingly across his skin.

"Jacob… please… no teasing, not this time." He grinned down at her. A concession, already? She was looking up at him with the oddest expression, needful yet hesitant, unsure. She'd never been unsure with him when they were making love, and Jacob felt a surge of fear, which he did his best to push away.

"What is it?" He said, lowering himself onto the mattress beside her. He ran one hand up and down her side from armpit to hipbone and back again.

"I've been thinking of something I want to try, but…" she shuddered slightly. "I'm not sure how you'll feel about it." Jacob grinned as a thousand possible thoughts went through his mind.

"Show me," he said, taking her hand. Renesmee resisted.

"I don't kn—"

"No," Jacob said firmly. "Just show me."

Renesmee took a deep, uncertain breath before putting her hand to his cheek.

_ She was hovering over top of him, auburn curls falling down to fill the curve between his shoulder and chin. They were both writhing in the most sensual way, but there was something foreign about the motion, completely new and more than a little exciting. Jacob's face was contorted with a mixture of ecstasy and… something feral. Suddenly, Renesmee lifted her head and threw back her curls, revealing lips stained a brilliant, blood red._

Jacob's eyes flew open, and he was staring at a very different expression on Renesmee's face than the one he'd just seen. She looked unsure and more than a little nervous. He just stared back at her, dumbly. Her face fell even further.

"Oh God," she said, "I'm sorry. It's disgusting, I know… I don't even—"

"Do it," Jacob said suddenly.

"What?"

He grabbed her hand and brought it down to his mid-section, wrapping her fingers around himself. She let out a small, involuntary moan, and he knew she could feel exactly what he could: he was burning up, pulsing needfully, and so hard. "Do it," he said again, and this time it was clearly a command.

Renesmee sprang suddenly, flipping them over (Jacob went willingly) and landing on top of him with her knees on either side of his hips. She sat there for a moment before leaning forward and bring her hips further away from his and her shoulders closer. She looked into his eyes, and he saw something animalistic there, but he was not as frightened as he probably should have been. Their lips met, and then she broke away, kissing her way down to the soft flesh at the side of his neck.

"Jacob," She whispered desperately against his skin. He felt the beginnings of a growl deep in his chest.

"Ness," he breathed, suddenly _needing_ her to do it. "Please… I need… I want you to…" He broke off suddenly as a sharp, searing pain hit him, radiating outward from his neck.

And then she began to drink.

It was like nothing he had ever felt or imagined. He could feel each milliliter of blood as it left his body, the stream out of him and into her sending off tiny shocks to his system. He was completely without control of his own body, writhing helplessly. He wanted to cry out something: more, or harder, but he couldn't form the words. He was just barely aware of Renesmee's entire body shaking as she hovered over him, joined by the mouth to his neck. Then, without warning and with her teeth still embedded in his flesh, she sank down onto him, and he was buried in her. A moment later she raised her head and her bloodstained lips parted in a wide 'O' as both of them cried out their release, first Renesmee and then Jacob following closely behind.

They lay there afterwards, neither one wanting to move, in stunned silence. Jacob was completely mystified. It had been the most powerful sensation of his life, it was as if nothing could ever compare. It seemed to have taken hours, the endless pleasure stretching on and on, but when he looked at the clock, only a few brief minutes seemed to have elapsed.

Renesmee was almost completely still on top of him. It seemed like forever before she rolled off of him to lay beside him on the bed. He looked at her face, which looked about as dazed as he felt. She must have at some point licked her lips clean, but there remained a small trail of blood at the corner of her mouth; _his blood_. Jacob lifted his thumb and wiped it off, and then let his hand hover in front of her lips. Renesmee quickly enveloped his thumb with her mouth and then released it, clean, once again. She smiled sheepishly.

"Waste not want not," Jacob quipped. He'd meant to use his normal, joking tone, but his voice came out thin and wobbly. He felt a little giddy.

Renesmee slid over so that she was curled against his side, her face beside his. "Are you okay?" She asked, a tiny frown line appearing between her brows.

"_OH_ yeah," Jacob replied, kissing her lightly on the forehead. "I'm good."

"I didn't over-do it?" He shook his head.

"Nope. You could've kept going… I wouldn't have minded." It was true; he felt a little shaky from the slight blood-loss, but it had felt so good at the time that he would have risked going on for much longer, if either of the had possessed the will.

"That was the most incredible thing," Renesmee said, sounding no less unsteady than he did. "Jake, the way you _taste_…"

"Not like wet dog, then?" He said with a grin. Renesmee gave his shoulder a light swat, and then kissed the place where her hand had made impact.

"Not a bit," she replied, sounding and looking a little bit dizzy. Her cheeks were pinker than usual, and her eyes a bit darker, with a very slight reddish tint. Jacob tried not to feel too uneasy about that, hoping it would simply fade over the course of the next twenty-four hours, before Edward and Bella had a chance to notice. As if she'd read his mind, Renesmee groaned and said, "My Aunt and Uncle will be here tomorrow. I guess we'll have to get all of this—" she gestured at the bed, the tangled sheets, their naked bodies, "—out of our systems now."

"Yeah," Jacob said doubtfully, "That won't be a problem at all. Piece of cake, in fact."

Renesmee sighed, but he could tell she couldn't get far enough past her giddiness to be too upset. "It'll be tough. But Jake, we'll manage. We can sneak away from the big house, if we need to…"

"No," Jacob cut her off. "No way. I can't do anything even close to that on your parents' property. Not within a thousand feet of you father. Not a chance." Renesmee gave him a look that clearly spelled murder.

"You mean we're just going to… go cold turkey? For the _whole_ three-day weekend?"

"Well, it _is_ Thanksgiving." She smacked him, which he supposed he deserved, and he caught her wrist on the upswing and held it like some small, tender thing. "Believe me when I tell you that I hate this just as much as you do. Maybe more. Probably more, in fact. But I just can't, Nessie. Not unless you're really looking to get me killed."

She made a very unimpressed face, but nodded. "You're right, I guess. They'd be able to smell it, and I'm not sure I'd have any more control over my thoughts than you if we were doing _that_ right under their noses." Then she made a small, angry noise. "Ugh! How am I going to stand it?"

"It's only three days," Jacob reminded her. "Hardly much, next to the rest of eternity."

"Good point," she allowed. "But you have to promise me, if I give you these three days, that we get to do it at least twice a day until the end of time." Jacob just laughed and nodded.

He could certainly live with that.

**In the Next Chapter:**

"_Too bad," Renesmee said tersely, grabbing the fitted sheet on his bed and pulling it over the rest of the bedding, pulling the whole mess into a tight bundle. "I need you to throw these and the other sheets in the washer while I put new ones on the beds. Then you need to shower… thoroughly. With lye, if you have to." Jacob was on his feet by this point, and he stepped around the bed to hold her shoulders in his hands. _

_ "You need to calm down," He said, a hint of amusement in his voice. Renesmee glared up at him._

_ "Evidently, Jacob, you're new at this whole relationship thing, or you'd know that the worst thing you can possibly tell a girl when she's in a panic is to 'calm down'."_


	21. Born to Run

**A/N:** Hi guys! Sorry about the late update… I had the craziest weekend. On the plus side, this means you'll only have a day or two to wait until the next chapter is posted… So, a long wait on one end, and a short wait on the other. It balances out, right?

Anyway, we're back on track now =) I should be able to pull off regular Thursday/Sunday updates for the foreseeable future, at the very least.

I love this chapter, mostly because it brings us back into contact with Nessie's family. Expect to see all of the Cullen vamps in the next few chapters… and some pack-action too! If anybody seems like they're acting strangely in this chapter, just remember that you're reading a very LONG story, and all will be revealed in due time!

Also, I'm in a Springsteen phase at the moment. I'm actually listening to "Born in the USA" as I write this. I'm generally a strict red-and-white-blooded Canadian… but come on, who can resist The Boss?

Enjoy, and please REVIEW!

~Crit.

**Chapter 21: Born to Run**

Renesmee shook Jacob viciously out of his slumber the next day. "Get up, get up," She shouted nervously, trying her hardest to quell her panic. Jacob just mumbled something and rolled over. She looked at him with her hands on her hips for a moment, thoroughly unimpressed, before lifting one foot, placing it squarely on his broad back, and pushing forcefully. It had the desired effect: Jacob rolled like a sausage, twice, and toppled off the bed onto the floor.

"Ow! Fuck, Nessie!" He cried, and a moment later his disheveled head appeared over the mattress. "What the hell?"

"You need to wake up now," she said. "It's almost ten. Alice and Jasper will be here at two, and we need to wash or destroy the sheets on both of our beds, any clothes we've worn over the past two weeks, and our own bodies. I want any and all smells besides Lysol and soap gone from this loft by the time they get here. I've already mopped, steam cleaned the couch, and disinfected both bathrooms, and gathered up the laundry." Jacob just looked at her blearily.

"Give me a minute," he said, "My head is all foggy."

"Too bad," Renesmee said tersely, grabbing the fitted sheet on his bed and pulling it over the rest of the bedding, pulling the whole mess into a tight bundle. "I need you to throw these and the other sheets in the washer while I put the new ones on the beds. Then you need to shower… thoroughly. With lye, if you have to." Jacob was on his feet by this point, and he stepped around the bed to hold her shoulders in his hands.

"_You_ need to calm down," He said, a hint of amusement in his voice. Renesmee glared up at him.

"Evidently, Jacob, you're new at this whole relationship thing, or you'd know that the worst thing you can possibly tell a girl when she's in a panic is to 'calm down'," She said with a scowl. Jacob just shook his head fondly and kissed her on the top of her head. Renesmee swatted him away. "Cut it out. You're not making this any easier."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I can't help it," He said with a mischievous look, "You're just so cute when you're m—"

"Finish that sentence and I will personally hand you to my father, gift-wrapped, along with a written account of the last two weeks."

Jacob just chuckled and grabbed the bundle of sheets. "Point made, Mistress. Your wish is my command." He headed out the door towards the laundry room at the end of the hall, and Renesmee had to smother a reluctant laugh. Her wolf _was_ pretty charming, even when he was being a bit of a jackass.

After she had put fresh, clean-smelling sheets on both beds, Renesmee stripped off her pajamas and jumped into her huge shower. She'd just cleaned the bathroom, so there was no chance of picking up scents, and she knew she'd come out smelling perfectly clean and fresh. Even her family's discerning noses wouldn't be able to detect any hint of Jacob's odor on her skin.

She was mid-scrub when she heard the distinctive click of her bathroom door opening, and she froze. "Don't even think about it," She called out in warning. No response. She put down the soap and turned to face the sliding glass door, on the other side of which she could see a large brown blur, roughly the size and shape of Jacob. "Jacob Black, don't you dare open that—" The door opened, and she was faced with the sight of a very smug, very naked Jacob.

"What?" He said innocently as he took in her murderous expression, "You told me to shower!"

"On your own," she said, actually shrinking away from him, "Not with me." In spite of her own resolve, she felt a distinct rush of warmth at her core, and her knees felt like they might dissolve completely at any moment. Jacob just stepped into the shower and closed the door behind him. She could feel the heat of his skin, so very close to her own now, and it was everything she could do to resist the urge to crush her body against his and attack him beneath the spray of the shower.

"Come on, Nessie," Jacob said softly, reaching for her. "Three whole days… just one last time, before we can't anymore. We've got more than three hours before they get here. I'll clean the shower again, I'll even wash the towels."

"This is extremely counterproductive," she stuttered, one final, weak attempt to put a stop to what was happening before giving in.

"Come on," he said, "I just offered to do housework. If that doesn't get you hot, I figure I should just give up."

That did it; Renesmee burst out laughing and, shaking her head, stepped into Jacob's arms. "Will you wear a French maid ensemble?"

"For you? Absolutely." He bent to kiss her, and she smiled against his lips.

"Okay," She whispered, "It's a deal." And she kissed him.

oooOOOooo

True to his word, Jacob not only scrubbed the shower after they were both clean and dry, but he put the towels in the washer with their clothes while the sheets from earlier dried. Renesmee got dressed slowly and carefully, meticulously crafting an outfit her Aunt would approve of, and then she went into Jacob's closet and laid out something for him. When he came back into the room and saw it, he looked up at her with eyebrows raised.

"Gee, thanks mom. Now I'm ready for picture day."

Renesmee rolled her eyes. "Considering I'm letting you off the hook for the outfit you agreed to wear earlier, I'd think you'd be grateful." That shut him up pretty quickly; he picked up the pile of clothing and shooed her out of the room.

"Wouldn't want you to be tempted, now. We both know how weak your will power is." Jacob gave a short bark of laughter when she cheerfully flipped him off on her way out the door.

Finally, all of the laundry was done and put away, and both Jacob and Renesmee were dressed and presentable, with about fifteen minutes to spare before Alice and Jasper were due to arrive. They had come into town the day before for a day of shopping, and were staying at a hotel (owned by Clara's father, interestingly enough). The plan was for them to show up at the apartment in the early afternoon, drive Jacob and Nessie to the arranged meeting place, and then drive back for one more night of R&R in the big city, before going back upstate to join the family for the rest of the weekend. Alice had told her the day before that she'd seen her day disappearing at two, so Renesmee was pretty sure that was when they would arrive. Sure enough, at two o'clock on the dot, there was a knock on the door, and then a high, bell-like voice called, "Open up, Nessie and Jacob!" Renesmee exchanged a worried glance with Jacob before heading for the door.

"We're coming," She called, and moments later she undid the deadbolt to let in her Aunt and Uncle, who stood beside her in the hallway, looking just as young and beautiful as always.

Renesmee was sure that Alice would have sprung at her almost immediately, had Jasper not suddenly tightened his grip on her hand and frozen in place, a stunned and shocked expression on his usually passive face. Alice immediately turned to him with a concerned look on her face. "What is it, Jazz?"

Jasper seemed to snap out of it, and shook his head as if to clear it. "It's… nothing, Alice," He said. "I was just surprised by… Jacob and Nessie's outfits." He flashed them a dapper grin, fully recovered, and said, "You two look so sharp I barely recognized you."

Renesmee didn't believe it for one minute, and she could tell that Jacob and Alice didn't, either. But after giving her husband a long, hard look, Alice shrugged and stepped forward to embrace her. "Well, he's right," she said sagely. "What did I tell you? Couture is like magic." She released Renesmee and gave Jacob a light pound on the shoulder, their typical greeting. "My, my Jacob. Zippers and buttons, and authentic fibres! We'll have you in a tux before you know it!" She reached all the way up and flicked him lightly on the nose with her index finger. Jasper made a small, uncomfortable noise in the back of his throat, which Nessie heard clearly, seeing as he was hugging her at that moment. She backed up and saw that he was giving her an appraising look.

_What_? She mouthed. Almost imperceptibly, Jasper shook his head.

"So," Alice called behind her as she sailed past them and started to cruise around the room, exploring, "What have you two been up to this morning? I hope you weren't just sitting here, waiting for us to… oh, for the love of god, Jasper, _what_ is wrong with you?" Jacob and Renesmee both turned to look at Jasper, who appeared to be somewhat stricken. Alice had a hand on her hip, clearly waiting for an answer. "Well?" She demanded when there was none. It suddenly dawned on Renesmee exactly what was wrong with her uncle. She felt the blood drain from her cheeks, and she looked pleadingly at him.

"Please…" she mouthed. Jasper shook his head again.

"I'm sorry, Renesmee," he said sympathetically, although he still looked moderately disturbed, "But if the two of you can't control your emotions, I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to join you for the car ride upstate. I can't handle feeling _that_ way for my niece… or for you, Jacob." Now Renesmee was sure her cheeks were on fire. Oh good. She couldn't possibly have been more mortified.

Alice had the look of someone who was trying to work out a complex math problem in her head, and then, shortly after, the look of someone who'd just _solved_ said problem. "Oh," she said in the next moment. "_Oh._"

Jacob also appeared to have caught on. Renesmee noted that he at least had the decency to look abashed. He also looked terrified. "Hold on…" He said, putting his hands up in a gesture of surrender, "We can expl—"

"Oh, whatever," Alice said suddenly, waving their panic away with one flick of her slender wrist. "It's not like we didn't know this would happen eventually."

Renesmee had been wrong: she was definitely more mortified now. "Did you figure it out the second I opened the door?" She asked her uncle, a note of misery in her voice. He nodded and gave her a wry smile.

"Sorry, but you guys were pretty obvious. The… affection was fine. But please, for the love of all things good and clean, avoid focusing on whatever it was you were doing before we got here." His look then turned very serious. "I sincerely hope that your thoughts are in better order than your feelings," he said with a note of foreboding.

"We've been working on it," Jacob jumped in quickly. "But, since you two know already… mind helping out with Edward? Try to… I dunno, think really loudly when I'm around?"

Alice laughed merrily at that. "We'll do what we can," She assured him, and the she gave him a long look and shook her head. "You dog," she said, although it sounded more like a compliment than an insult. Jacob just shrugged, and Renesmee felt the sudden urge to smack him. This was beyond embarrassing. A sudden wash of peaceful numbness passed over her, and she turned to her uncle.

"You're scary-good at that," she said, half-irritated and half-grateful.

"Guess we didn't have to do all that laundry," Jacob muttered to himself. This time, Renesmee _did_ hit him. Not too hard, but it served its purpose.

The car ride was rather uneventful, by comparison, with Alice sending forth a barrage of questions about school, friends and activities. Renesmee felt like she was being quizzed, but at the same time it was really nice to be around her enthusiastic Aunt again. She'd missed Alice's energy, her vibrancy. Jasper was pretty quiet, interjecting a thought or question every now and then, but mostly just listening and keeping to himself. After a long while, Alice turned the wheel and they started to pull off into a carpool lot.

"All right, folks," She said in a chipper tone, "Edward brains, all of you." She winked at Renesmee in the rearview mirror. As they slowed to a stop, Renesmee caught sight of the silver Volvo, and her parents emerging from within. Her heart surged, and she flung open her door. _Mom and Dad_, _Mom and Dad_, her mind sang, and she didn't need to make an effort to hide it. Her father turned his head to look at her from across the wide parking lot, and his familiar, brilliant smile spread widely across his handsome face. Then Renesmee was hit by a force that took the wind out of her lungs.

"Mom," she gasped, "Mom… ow." Bella's grip around her shoulders loosened slightly, just enough for her to still be able to breath. Renesmee laughed, after catching her breath, and returned the embrace with close-to-equal vigor. "Hi," she said, her face buried in her mother's hair.

"Honey." Her mother's voice was so beautiful in person. Renesmee marveled at the fact that in less than three months, she'd managed to almost forget the real sound of it. Her mother pulled back and examined her carefully. "You look great," she said with a warm smile. Renesmee busied herself with listing her mother's beautiful features in her head as she breathed a sigh of relief. It was a strategy she'd planned ahead of time; focusing on her parents and how glad she was to see them wouldn't be difficult, and it would keep her from accidentally letting a stray thought about herself and Jacob slip through. Of course, her father would recognize the oddness of her thought pattern, but hopefully he'd be too pleased and flattered by her chosen method of distraction to really care.

Alice and Jasper were closely flanking Jacob, Renesmee noticed, but then she pushed the thought back as her father stepped forward to embrace her. His hug was almost as bruising as her mother's had been, and it made her smile. Her parents had missed her.

"Of course we did," Her father said, and Renesmee almost jumped. She'd forgotten how eerie it was to have someone respond directly to what you were thinking. Her father chuckled.

"I missed you too," she said sincerely.

"Your mother's right… you really do look beautiful." Renesmee felt a little odd at having everybody point it out. "Very grown up," her father added.

"Aw, thanks dad," she said, embarrassed, "But I'm pretty sure I'm exactly the same as the last time you saw me." He just gave her a small, odd little smile. She could tell he was trying to figure out what she was _really_ thinking.

_Mom and Dad, Mom and Dad,_ She thought as hard as she could. Her father's expression slipped for a moment and he turned away, presumably so she wouldn't see his consternation. Well good… let him wonder.

She looked to the side and saw Jacob and her mother locked in a staring contest. As she watched, mentally cataloguing her family members and thinking about how excited she would be to see them when she got home, her mother nodded almost shyly and took a step forward.

"Jake," She said in greeting.

"Bella." Jacob sounded almost wary, and that would have made Renesmee think, except that she was so focused on not thinking. Her mother nodded slowly, with an almost apologetic smile, and Jacob suddenly wore a wide grin. He bounded forward and caught her up in a hug that actually lifted her off the ground.

"Ugh, Jake!" He mother sounded miffed, but didn't really look it, as she swatted lightly at his arms to get him to release her. "Now I'll smell like you the whole way home!" Jacob, still grinning, lowered her gently to the ground.

"It might be the best you've ever smelled, Bells," he teased. Renesmee felt a weird surge of… was it jealousy? She quickly squashed it. Not now. Jacob was shaking hands with her father now, and her father was looking between them both, his frustration now clearly showing.

"So," Alice said loudly, clapping her hands together, "Change of plans! Jazz and I have decided to come straight home, instead of doubling back for a second night in the city. So we can take Jacob, you can take Nessie, and we'll all see each other back at the house."

Bella shrugged. "Sounds good to me," she said, and Renesmee could tell she was pleased at the idea of her having time alone with them, even if it was just driving time.

Renesmee looked over at his father. He didn't seem pleased. "Why did you change your plans?" He said suspiciously.

"We just figured it would be easier… more room in the cars that way. We don't really _need_ to shop…" It was here that Alice's façade wore thin, and Renesmee picked up on a mild but poignant note of regret in her voice.

"Don't be silly," Edward said in a low voice, "There's no reason to change your plans."

"It's no trouble, really, we'll just—"

"Alice," Her father said, and it was almost a growl. "You should enjoy your weekend. We'll take Nessie AND Jacob." Oh. So her father was hoping they'd crack during the ride. Nice.

"Okay," Alice said, looking like she was concentrating very hard. "Thanks, Edward. If you don't mind…"

"Of course not." Her father was all smiles all of a sudden, and Renesmee rolled her eyes. _What's up with YOU?_ She thought clearly, as if she really had no idea. He ignored her and turned to go back to the Volvo. "All right," he called behind him, "Let's get moving!" He and Bella started for the car, and Jacob and Renesmee lagged behind under the guise of saying goodbye to Alice and Jasper, and then started after her parents, walking at a somewhat slower pace. To any nearby onlookers, they would have looked as though they were simply dragging their feet. But Renesmee knew that Jacob had set this pace because he wanted to talk to her for a second before they were trapped in the car with her parents.

"Don't think about anything," Jacob subvocalised. Renesmee was just able to pick it up, so she knew her parents, who were already climbing into the car, wouldn't detect the sound of his voice. She glanced at him rapidly and then back to her feet again just as rapidly.

"I'm not. But if you keep bringing it up, I soon will be."

"Seriously, Nessie." He risked another long look in her direction. "If either one of us slips…"

"Well, you don't have to worry about _me_… I'm completely in control." Jacob still looked concerned. Renesmee let out a small sigh before riffling through her bag and coming out with a book. "Here, this should keep you busy," she said in the most platonic, friendly tone she could muster. "Read it in your head." As she watched, a small, reminiscent smile crawled onto Jacob's face and he took the book from her.

"I'd forgotten how you used to do that," he said fondly, turning the book over in his hands. "Edward knew exactly what you were doing, but you just kept denying it, telling him how much you loved to read."

"And you and I would spend entire afternoons finding books we knew would drive him crazy—"

"—Like Nancy Drew—"

"Or, oh man, do you remember his reaction to Ann Rice?"

Jacob screwed up his face into a scowl that was clearly meant to imitate Edward. " "You could at least make an attempt at subtlety"," he mugged. Renesmee cackled. "Or, how about that week you went through that e.e. cummings collection?"

" "Renesmee, for god's sake! It's not possible to think in lower case!"."

"What do we have today?" Jacob said, actually looking at the cover of the book for the first time. "_Cup of Gold._ Hey, Steinbeck… isn't that the guy who wrote the book about grapes?"

Renesmee gave him a withering look. "_The Grapes of Wrath_. It's not actually about grapes."

"Whatever," Jacob said, scrutinizing the cover of the slim volume. "This one's not on the high school reading list, is it?"

"Not usually," Renesmee said, trying to disguise her amusement, "and it's about pirates."

"Oh." Jacob sounded somewhat more optimistic. "Okay."

They reached the car, and Renesmee quickly organized her thoughts. Bella and Edward were already in the front seat. Renesmee climbed into the back seat and sighed. Yet another car trip with Jacob and her parents. She settled into her seat and began going over her essay topic for her North American Prehistory class, lining up points and arguments. Beside her, Jacob had opened her book and his nose was inches from the pages. He read with a deep furrow between his brows, and she presumed that he was concentrating as hard as possible on reading the words 'aloud' inside his head. Her eyes flitted to the rearview mirror, in which her father was watching Jacob with a look of irritation. He saw her looking and shot her a glance that clearly told her how unimpressed he was. Renesmee shrugged and smiled back at him sweetly. _Beats me_, she thought as clearly and innocently as she could. Edward shook his head and his eyes turned back towards the road.

About half way through the trip Renesmee began to notice that Jacob was looking strained. He kept rubbing his eyes and blinking, and he was slumped uncomfortably in his seat. He was going to lose his focus on the book any minute, she realized. Jacob just didn't have the attention span that she did when it came to quality fiction. _Should have gotten him a graphic novel,_ Renesmee thought, provoking a short bark of laughter from her father. A flash of green on the side of the highway caught her eye: a service station, two miles away.

"You need to pull in at that service station, Dad," she said with a certain level of authority.

"We've still got half a tank," Edward replied easily, gunning the engine as if to prove that he meant to breeze by the exit. Renesmee scowled internally.

"I need you to stop… _some_ of us need to void our bladders, you know." She cast a quick glace to the side. "Isn't that right, Jake?" Jacob looked up from the book for the briefest moment.

"Right. Gotta pee," he said, and then glued his eyes once more to the page. Edward caught his daughter's eye in the mirror, but said nothing and took the exit.

"We'll be back," Renesmee practically shouted as she pulled Jacob's arm and dragged him out her side of the backseat. As fast as she could without arousing suspicion from any watching humans, she tore off towards the dingy service centre building, Jacob dragging behind her like a lead weight. They crashed through the doors and she slumped against the wall, exhaling upwards so that the hair on her forehead fanned out and lifted away from her face for a moment.

"This isn't working," Jacob said, echoing her thoughts. "I'm trying really really hard to just focus on the book, but I've been reading for an hour and a half now, and my eyes are starting to go squirrelly…"

Renesmee squeezed her eyes shut. "This is so, so, SO not good." She looked back up at Jacob, who reached over and brushed her cheek with his fingers. Instinctively, she moved towards him, and their bodies were flush with each other. They stood that way for a moment before something snapped behind Jacob's eyes and he jumped back from her like she'd electrocuted him.

"Not helping!" He cried, running one huge hand through his hair. "Okay… I think I should probably remove myself from that car. I can slip off into the woods, phase, and run the rest of the way…"

"No good," Renesmee said, cutting him off mid-sentence. "If you do that, he'll know for sure that something's up. I mean, something more than he already knows, because clearly we're both playing keep-away with our thoughts. If you disappear, he's going to automatically assume the worst., and when he questions me about it I'm not sure that I'll be able to stop myself from thinking of you and me." She sighed heavily. "Okay, I'm actually going to go to the bathroom, and I'd suggest you do the same. Then go get us some sort of food to bring back to the car, so they'll think we had a reason to take so long. I'll… I'll think of something."

Jacob nodded, looking more than a little grim. Without thinking, Renesmee went up on her toes, and he met her halfway, joining their lips together briefly. This time, Jacob didn't jump back, but pulled away reluctantly, walking backwards toward the men's room so as not to take his eyes off of her. Renesmee felt the warm, pleasant rush of feeling that she always had when he looked at her that way, like she was the most important thing he'd ever seen. She had a moment of screw-you-Edward before coming back down to earth and focusing on the problem at hand.

Jacob obviously wasn't going to last much longer with the book. She'd take it over, since she was getting a bit tired herself, going over her thesis again and again. As she sat on the closed lid of the public toilet, she rummaged through her bag for something that might help. Make-up: No. Another book: No. Hairbrush: Hardly. iPod…

_iPod._ Renesmee felt a grin spreading over her face as she pulled the music player out of her purse by its tiny white headphones. That would do.

"Put this on when we get to the car and hit play," she said when she met Jacob in the line for the coffee place a few minutes later, handing him the iPod. "And just focus on the music." A look of intense relief crossed Jacob's face.

"I _love_ you," he said, grabbing her hard and kissing the top of her head. "Seriously."

"Seriously, you ought to. I just saved your ass. And I made you a playlist."

"The sacrifices you make for me are staggering, it's true." Jacob smirked down at her.

"Shut up. Bella-and-Edward Faces." She rearranged her expression as the carried their coffee away with them and exited the building. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jacob doing the same: His face was now neutral, calm and he was definitely not staring at her. Just before they reached the car, He popped the headphones in and hit play. Renesmee smiled ever-so-slightly to herself. She'd filled the playlist with songs about cars and driving, the one subject she knew would grab Jacob's full attention.

As she slid into her seat, she caught her father's eye again. He was now flat-out glaring at her. Obviously he knew she'd given Jacob the iPod on purpose, to distract his thoughts until they reached their destination. In her anxiety over her father's irritation at her, Renesmee felt her control beginning to slip.

"Jake," She said, looking at her wolf. His eyes were closed, and his head was bobbing ever-so-slightly to the beat. She pushed back the surge of fondness that threatened to make her think inappropriately, and reached over to poke him on the arm. "Jacob." He looked up and pulled out one earbud, and Renesmee put out her hand. "Share?" Jacob's mouth turned up at one corner, and he handed her the headphone. She quickly put it into her ear, and Bruce Springsteen was suddenly in her head. She felt like Jasper had just sat down beside her; a wave of relief broke over her, and she sank back into her seat, letting the music take over her mind. _Sprung from cages out on highway 9,Chrome wheeled, fuel injected and steppin' out over the line…_

"I'll never understand how people can appreciate that unintelligible mumbling, let alone call it 'music'," She heard her father mutter from the front seat. Her mother turned around to look at them over her headrest.

"What are you listening to?" She said, clearly curious at what her husband could possibly find so cringe-worthy.

"Springsteen," Renesmee said calmly, at the same moment Jacob replied, "_Born to Run_." Bella grinned.

"Edward…" She said slowly. Her husband took his eyes off the road momentarily to look at her.

"No," He said firmly. "We are not putting that tripe through my speakers."

"But it's a classic," she wheedled.

"Verdi is classic. Bach is classic. Bruce Springsteen is noise pollution."

"Oh, _fine,"_ Bella said, peevishly crossing her arms over her chest.

" Bach is Baroque," Renesmee piped up. Her father gave her a withering look, and she just smiled serenely. Her father having to listen to whatever music they were listening to by way of their thoughts wasn't something she'd thought of back at the rest stop, but the results were amusing, and effective. A thought occurred to her, and she quickly pushed it back, focusing on the lyrics and tune as she acted on it. She put her hand out to Jacob, who handed her the iPod with a skeptical look. She swirled the click wheel until she settled on what she was looking for. As she hit play, she saw her father's left eye twitch ever-so-slightly in the rearview mirror.

"Aw, what the heck?!" Jacob spat, pulling out his headphone and giving her an accusing look. Renesmee inclined her head ever-so-slightly towards the front seat, and Jacob looked at Edward, who looked very still and very disturbed. She just looked at Jacob and 'sang' along to the music in her headphone inside her head. He seemed to get it, and he put his headphone back in his ear, grudgingly.

Bella was watching the whole scene with a great deal of interest. "What are you doing to your poor father, Renesmee?" She asked, not really sounding like she was all that sympathetic towards her husband. Renesmee gave her mother an innocent look.

"Nothing," She replied sweetly. "I happen to like 'Never Gonna Give You Up'. Is there something wrong with listening to music that makes me happy?" Her mother looked stunned for one moment, before bursting into a loud peal of laughter.

"She mentally Rickrolled you, Edward!" She exclaimed, shaking her head. "That's a new tactic... How do you even _know_ about that, Renesmee? I'd think it was a bit before your time."

She just shrugged. "Some things are timeless, Mom." Renesmee snuck a look at Jacob; he was grooving out now, as hard as he could. He saw her watching and, with a huge grin, began to play air-synth. Renesmee giggled and rocked out along with him.

As the introduction to the song repeated for the fourth time in a row, Edward's eye twitched one final time, and he turned his head to look at his wife. "Bella," he ground out through clenched teeth. Bella shot her daughter a small, conspiratorial smile and Renesmee felt the gentle shimmer of her mother's shield falling over her and Jacob. She immediately relaxed against the back seat, and Jacob gave her a surreptitious, questioning look. She nodded, and he pulled out his headphone. She did the same. _Jacob, Jacob Jacob, _she thought freely, willing her mind to touch his, even though she knew it wasn't likely to happen, _I love you, Jacob. I need you and I want you and I love you._ It was like stretching after sitting in the same position for days. From the look on Jacob's face, he felt the same way.

Renesmee noted the sound of her father's teeth grinding, something he only did when he was really unhappy about something but exercising restraint nonetheless. Her mother turned briefly and looked at her, and then regarded her husband. "They've been working hard all afternoon," she said in a voice clearly meant to placate. "They deserve some reward, at least, for their determination."

Edward just shook his head and turned his eyes back to the road. "Enjoy it while you can," he said peevishly to his daughter, "We've got a whole weekend ahead of us."

**In the Next Chapter:**

_Jacob realized that nobody had mentioned where Edward was. "Where is your dad?" He asked Renesmee. _

_ "Sulking," Rosalie piped up before Renesmee could answer. A chuckle rippled through the room, although Esme and Carlisle made a good effort to look disapproving. Renesmee nodded to qualify her aunt's statement. _

_ "He's still pissy about the ride here. Mom's with him… I think they went for a run." _

_ "We all know what that means," Emmett said, making a lewd gesture. Renesmee groaned._

_ "Disgusting." _

_ "It's a fact of life, Nessie," Emmett said sagely. "One day, you'll understand." Renesmee flushed noticeably, but that could have just been attributed to her humiliation at discussing these things with half her family. Jacob was extremely thankful that his skin tone didn't allow for blushing; otherwise, there would have been trouble. _


	22. The Talk

**A/N: **Hi all!

Hope you like this chapter… I love writing the ensemble cast, and this time we've even got some wolves thrown in the mix. Oh how I love them.

Sorry I haven't responded to reviews from the last chapter yet… I will, but I figured you'd appreciate an update more than responses at this point. I promise to catch up tomorrow!

As always, please review. Especially if you're going to put this story on your favorites… I'd love to hear why!

Enjoy!

~Crit.

**Chapter 22: The Talk**

Jacob had figured the vamps would be the first to greet them, but he was wrong. As they pulled up to the gate of the Cullen Compound and Edward stopped the car so that he could reach through the window and key in the entry code, Jacob caught sight of three dark, hulking shapes on the other side of the fence, bounding gracefully across the even, green lawns.

"Let me out," He said, already pulling his shirt off, just as Edward drew to a full stop. Bella made a face, presumably related to the smell. The power locks buzzed, and Jacob nearly tore the door off the car as he jumped out.

"Alice will murder you if you shred those pants," Renesmee called after him before he shut the door. Jacob put a few feet between himself and the car, pulled off his pants and phased, tearing his boxers to shreds. He couldn't bring himself to care. He was vaguely aware of Renesmee laughing from inside the car as he gave a few gentle barks towards the gate. As soon as it slid open, he was through it and charging at the other wolves.

_"Jake!" _Embry.

_ "Jake, hey!" _Seth.

_ "It's about time, Jacob. What the hell took so long?" _Jacob smiled a huge, wolfish grin and bumped his flank against Leah's. She trotted backwards in a comical fashion, and he gave a friendly, overjoyed bark.

_"I think she missed me, guys!" _He said, trying his best to rile his beta up.

_"Get bent," _ Leah responded, although with considerably less malice than Jacob knew she was capable of. Jacob couldn't help himself… his mind immediately flew in the direction of the activity she'd just suggested, and several very graphic memories came flooding into his head. He shut them off as quickly as he could, but after the hours of mind-control in the car with Edward, he found he was too exhausted to do a really good job.

The other wolves reacted immediately to his train of thought, flinching and stepping off slightly. Seth actually whined. Leah's objections were, of course, the loudest, but not by much.

"_Oh FUCK no," _She screamed mentally_, "That is disgusting!" _

_ "Scarred… for… life," _Seth added with a small shake of his shoulders. He was thinking about his little Nessie, to whom he'd been as much like a beloved uncle as Jasper and Emmett. Only Embry seemed unperturbed by the visions of Jacob and Renesmee; ever the practical one, he was thinking of his Alpha's safety.

"_Stop thinking about it!"_ He called to all of them, "_Jacob, make them stop!"_

Jacob felt a sudden jolt of panic at that, before realizing that Bella was probably still shielding them. Her shield on him would extend to any thoughts he had in connection with the pack. They'd discovered long ago that if one pack member was shielded while in wolf form, all the other wolves would be as well, being that their minds functioned as one. "_Bella's got us covered,"_ He reassured them quickly, _"But just as a precaution, __**DO not think about what you just saw, or this conversation, around the vamps.**_" The double-timbre made them all stand very still for a moment. Leah made a low, growling noise in the back of her throat, and gave Jacob the stink-eye, but other than that gave no objection. Jacob knew she hated being forced to bow to the Alpha command, and he hated making her do it, but they had all agreed that protection from Edward was a situation in which the command was always necessary.

It had been Seth's idea to try the Alpha command on their thoughts, years ago after Leah had thrown a tantrum and threatened to break up the pack by moving away because she was "sick of having leeches in her head". When Seth had half-jokingly suggested that Jacob simply order them not to think when Edward was around, they'd all exchanged a loaded look before Jacob did just exactly that. Surprisingly, it had worked; if Jacob ordered them not to let a certain thought enter their minds in Edward's presence, the compulsion to obey was so strong that their minds simply glossed over said thought whenever the vampire was around.

Of course, Jacob's orders didn't work on himself. That would have been too easy.

Once the awkward moment had passed, the celebration began anew. Jacob, nearly overwhelmed by the natural beauty of his surroundings, tore off into the wooded area that existed within the compound enclosure, charging through the trees and dirt with all his senses pulsing joyfully. His pack got caught up in the enthusiasm, and they ran together for quite some time, letting their primal instincts take over.

Being the only member of the pack to have imprinted, Jacob tried to keep his thoughts about Renesmee to himself, knowing that the others couldn't really understand at this point in their lives. But after a while, it became unavoidable; his thoughts inevitably turned to her, and he knew he had to get back.

_"Guys, I need to make an appearance at the main house,"_ he said, not without a small amount of regret. _"The vamps will be wondering why I ran right off, and Nessie's probably pretty pissed that I ditched her before we even got through the gate._"

Embry chuckled mentally. "_Somebody's sleeping on the couch tonight_," He quipped, and then he yelped when Leah snapped her jaws in his direction.

_"Could we avoid any reference to the mating habits of Jacob and Junior Leech, please? I think I might puke."_

_ "You guys, come on. We all know Jacob's staying with us in the Wolf house, like usual. Cut him some slack." _Jacob sent his mental thanks to Seth, who just gave him a canine grin and replied, "_No problemo, Casanova_."

Jacob just huffed and started for the tree line. "_I'll catch up with you three later,_" He thought back at them. _"Behave yourselves, will you?" _Two mental chuckles and a scoffing sound were the only reply he had.

When he reached the edge of the wooded area, Jacob realized he had no clothing. He was absolutely certain that Renesmee had collected his pants and shoes from where he'd left them outside the front gate (at least he hoped so… his phone and his wallet were in the pockets), his shirt was in the car, and his underwear had been torn to shreds when he phased. It would be no good at all if he strode into the big house anything less than fully clothed: if Bella had dropped her shield, Renesmee's thoughts would give them away the second she saw him like that. Not that he wasn't thrilled to know what the sight of him could do to his imprint… he just didn't want _Edward_ to find out.

Just when he was about to turn back and head for the pack house (which was buried strategically in the woods, so that the pack could come and go as they pleased in various states of undress without offending sensitive vampire eyes), he noticed a small bundle of clothing folded on the ground at the tree line, a few feet away from where he stood. Jacob bounded over to it and sniffed. _Nessie_. He felt his heart swell at the thoughtful gesture. So she wasn't pissed. He caught the clothes delicately in his teeth, trying not to slobber and, leaving the shoes, retreated slightly into the forest to phase.

He dressed quickly and reemerged, pulled on the socks and shoes Renesmee had left him, and then took off at a run towards the big house. The overwhelming smell of vampire hit him full in the face about twenty feet off, and he pulled to a quick halt. He'd forgotten the intensity of the smell. Even in the car, it hadn't been so strong. This would take some readjusting. He took a shallow breath and held it, preparing to go into the house, when the door swung open and out came Carlisle and Esme.

"Jacob," Carlisle said with the same welcoming smile he always wore. Beside her husband, Esme beamed at him and held up the plate she was carrying. It was piled with cookies. "Welcome home."

Jacob felt a genuine surge of affection for the two senior members of the Cullen clan. "Hey," he said, grinning as he closed the distance between them. Carlisle put out his hand, and Jacob shook it firmly, making a conscious effort not to flinch at the chill of the vampire's skin against his own. "What's up, Doc?" From inside the house, he heard Emmett's bellowing laugh. Esme placed her free hand on Jacob's shoulder for a moment and squeezed lightly. Jake gave her his best 'flatter-the-grandmother' smile. "Esme… surely you didn't bake all those cookies for _me?" _He said, knowing for a fact she had. Esme just shook her head.

"I did, and there's more where they came from. You and Nessie are going to eat a proper, home-cooked meal tonight… god only knows what you've been feeding yourselves while you've been away."

"I am not," came Renesmee's voice from inside the house. "Emmett promised to take me hunting." Jacob laughed at that.

"Don't worry, Esme, I've been making sure she eats right." At the vampire's skeptical expression, Jacob rolled his eyes and conceded, "Most of the time."

Renesmee appeared in the doorway then, and Jacob couldn't stop himself—his heart did a little jig and a slow, silly grin spread across his lips. He caught himself quickly and shot her a horrified look, but she just smiled and shook her head very, very slightly. Jacob took that to mean that Edward was either still blocked out of their minds by Bella's shield, or nowhere nearby. He breathed an internal sigh of relief and moved past her into the house.

Rosalie and Emmett were lounging on the couches in the living room when Jacob entered the house, and Emmett got up almost immediately and came over to slug Jacob hard on the shoulder in greeting. Jacob returned the rather unorthodox greeting with equal vigor. "Game's on in an hour and a half," Emmett said enthusiastically. "You up for a viewing party? Junior's coming. " 'Junior' was what Emmett called Seth; as in, Jacob Junior. Jacob knew that Seth had become Emmett's new wolf buddy when he'd left town with Renesmee, and he was actually kind of glad. The more time the vampires and wolves spent together without killing each other, the happier his life would be in the long run. He nodded, actually excited at the idea. Watching football with Emmett was a no-holds-barred experience.

"Been stuck in a baseball town for almost three months," he replied, "I'd kill for some football right about now."

Rosalie looked up from the magazine she was pretending to read. "I hope you remembered to stock the pantry," she said to her husband. "Last I checked, we were all out of Scooby Snacks."

Jacob just grinned at his worthy adversary. "Hey Rose, what do you call a smart blonde?" When she completely ignored him, he continued, "A Golden Retriever!"

When Emmett howled with laughter, Rosalie chucked her magazine at his head. He caught it deftly, took a quick look at the cover, snorted, and folded it over, tucking it into the waistband of his jeans. " 'Your Man: Explained! 25 pages devoted to why he thinks, talks and acts the way he does.' You are _not_ reading this." Rosalie simply examined her nails with an unimpressed look.

"I read it for the pictures, not the articles. Besides, it would hardly take 25 pages to 'explain' you, Emmett. An index card would suffice."

Emmett looked utterly unperturbed. "She's got a point," he said to Jacob, shrugging. "I'm a simple man."

Renesmee had been moving around the room, and now she came to a stop next to Jacob. He could tell she was trying to look casual while still staying close to him, and it made him feel warm and happy to know she was just as anxious to be near him as he was to be near her. "So are we hunting after the game, Uncle Em?" She said, leaning her weight on the foot closest to Jacob so that their bodies were almost touching. If Emmett picked up on her stance, he didn't comment.

"Sure, Kiddo. Game should be done around 9:30, we can go after that. You'll have to sweet-talk your dad, though… that's your job."

Jacob realized that nobody had mentioned where Edward was. "Where _is _ your dad?" He asked Renesmee.

"Sulking," Rosalie piped up before Renesmee could answer. A chuckle rippled through the room, although Esme and Carlisle made a good effort to look disapproving. Renesmee nodded to qualify her aunt's statement.

"He's still pissy about the ride here. Mom's with him… I they went for a run."

"We all know what _that_ means," Emmett said, making a lewd gesture. Renesmee groaned.

"Disgusting."

"It's a fact of life, Nessie," Emmett said sagely. "One day, you'll understand." Renesmee flushed noticeably, but that could have just been attributed to her humiliation at discussing these things with half her family. Jacob was extremely thankful that his skin tone didn't allow for blushing; otherwise, there would have been trouble.

"All right," Carlisle interrupted the conversation before it had a chance to get even more uncomfortable. "I need to have a discussion with Jacob, to get an update on the pack, before you get entrenched in your game. Jacob," the Cullen patriarch had a way of drawing people's attention directly to himself, and he did so now with Jacob, "I think perhaps we should walk the perimeter, if you're not planning on doing anything else in the next little while." They had started the tradition of 'walking the perimeter' when they had lived in St. John's, in what Jacob referred to as Cullen Compound version 1.0. It was the first time, at least to Jacob's knowledge, that the family had lived on a property that was fully contained within a fenced perimeter. It helped to deter intruders and nosey neighbors, who generally assumed it was something more serious and official than a private residence, and the extra security measures added peace of mind, as they would likely alert the family to any and all intruders, supernatural or otherwise. The fence that surrounded the property had become a make-shift route map for conversations that needed to occur in private, being far enough away from the main house in all directions that the other members of the family, including Edward, couldn't overhear. It was a formal family rule: When somebody was walking the perimeter, they were not to be disturbed.

Jacob nodded. "Sure, Carlisle. I'm ready whenever you are."

Carlisle smiled at him. "Have a cookie first. Then we'll go."

oooOOOooo

Since it was a hassle to phase, Jacob ran alongside Carlisle in human form. It took them a couple minutes to reach the gate, considering that Jacob's human speed was a little bit slower than Carlisle could run. When they were at the fence, Jacob looked for as far as he could see in either direction, but all he saw was chain link and grass.

"I kind of assumed Edward and Bella were walking the perimeter, too," he said to Carlisle, who nodded.

"Your assumption was correct… they are, but they're on the other side of the property. No need to be concerned about running into each other."

"Oh." Jacob followed the vampire's lead and began to stroll at a very leisurely pace along the inside edge of the fence. Carlisle walked between him and the rest of the property.

"So," he said after they had travelled several feet in silence, "How long have you been having sex with my granddaughter?"

Jacob froze completely. How did Carlisle know? It wasn't possible, was it? They'd been so careful. Edward hadn't even figured it out.

Had he?

"Carlisle," Jacob said, immediately going into a defensive stance, "I… we… it's not…" The vampire put one hand up to silence him.

"Jacob, I'm not upset with you."

"You're not?" Jacob was thrown for a loop. He'd definitely expected eight sets of fangs pointed directly at him the moment any member of the Cullen clan figured out their secret. Well, not literally… they didn't have fangs. But the point remained the same; Jacob had expected to be gutted for touching their precious Renesmee.

Carlisle gave him a small, comforting smile. "No, I'm not." Then, to his surprise, the vampire patriarch put a cold, hard hand on Jacob's shoulder. "We've all been prepared for this to happen for a very long time. And, with the exception of Edward and Bella, we all accept your relationship with Renesmee. I'll admit, I wasn't anticipating things would develop so rapidly, but looking at the two of you it's obvious that this is the outcome you both desire. It is not my position to stand in the way of that." He began to walk again, and Jacob followed his lead. "I did not bring you out here to berate you, Jacob, nor to tell you what to do, but I do feel that you and Renesmee would both benefit from my having a frank and open dialogue with you."

Jacob, flabbergasted, eyed Carlisle carefully as they strolled. Indeed, the man seemed collected and content. There was no anger or hostility directed towards Jacob, whatsoever. He felt a smile tug at the corners of his mouth. "I… don't really know what to say, Carlisle, except thank you. I'm really glad to have you on my side. On _our_ side." It was true. He honestly felt a million times better just knowing he had the support of the eldest and wisest member of the Cullen family. Edward would be a lot easier to handle if Carlisle was willing to help.

"There aren't any sides in this, Jacob," Carlisle insisted firmly. "I know it might feel like Edward and Bella are your adversaries… but you have to understand, your situation is unprecedented. Nobody quite knows how to handle the situation."

"Tell me about it," Jacob said, shaking his head.

"With Bella's protective instincts as strong as they are, we all need to proceed with caution. I know it seems that the best way to operate is to keep the details of your relationship from Renesmee's parents, but I have a theory that hinges on the idea of being completely honest. I may be mistaken, but I believe that Bella and Edward are likely to come around rather quickly if we simply operate on a policy of full disclosure."

Jacob didn't like _that_ idea. "Listen, Carlisle… I understand what you're shooting at, but I don't think it'll work. For one thing, I know for a fact Edward and Bella aren't ready to let their daughter grow up just yet, regardless of the fact that she's basically been an adult for _years_ now. And for another thing… Edward already knows about my feelings for Renesmee. And he made it pretty clear before we moved into the loft exactly how he feels about the two of us being together. And I…" He sighed heavily. "I made a deal with him. I promised him I wouldn't do anything to change our relationship until we'd discussed things further."

"You broke that deal," Carlisle stated unnecessarily. Jacob shook his head, ashamed at having it laid out so plainly.

"Yeah, I did. I went back on my word. And I really hate that, Carlisle. Believe it or not, I don't _want_ to be at odds with Edward. I tried really, really hard to keep my promise. But I'm not the only one involved in this."

"Renesmee also has a say."

Jacob looked over at the vampire. "Yeah. Exactly. And it was hurting her. I really messed with her feelings when I tried to push her away. And as much as the promise I gave Edward matters to me… she matters more." He shrugged. Carlisle nodded sagely.

"I'm very glad to hear that, Jacob," he said. "Renesmee should be your top priority. I have no doubt that you have her best interests at heart. Which leads me to my next point, and the question you never answered: how long have you and Renesmee been sexually active with each other?"

Jacob tried really hard not to be completely mortified by the question. "Uh… about two weeks." Carlisle made a sound of confirmation and nodded.

"Have you been taking the appropriate precautions?" Jacob felt a surge of dread.

"Yeah… we're being careful. But… well, the first time, we didn't." Carlisle frowned.

"That was very careless, Jacob. I expect you to exercise better judgment in the future."

Jacob was quick to agree. "I know. It was just… it happened so fast. I'm not proud of how I handled myself. I've been really worried about it, actually, but Nessie said… something about her cycle, and there being a low probability of… well, anyway, she seemed pretty sure." Carlisle nodded again.

"That's good. I'll still have to give her a full physical exam, but that gives me reason to believe there will be few, if any, consequences for the two of you with regards to pregnancy. Now then… when was your last STI screening?"

Jacob said a silent prayer of thanks for his doctor back on the reservation, who had convinced him to get screened at his physical after he'd admitted to his few… dalliances. "It was years ago," he admitted, "But so was the last time I… you know… before… you know." It felt very odd to be having such a conversation with Carlisle… how many thirty-two year old men had the awkward sex chat with their girlfriends' grandfathers? But Jacob supposed Carlisle was more than just that… and these were strange and special circumstances.

Carlisle looked relieved. "I'm not certain whether you or Renesmee can even acquire those sorts of illnesses… but if we're going to be introducing the idea of you two as a couple to Bella and Edward, we need to be sure that everything is one hundred percent safe and above board. I don't want them to be able to pull out any excuses."

Jacob laughed at that. Evidently, Carlisle knew his kids.

They were back in time for kick-off. Seth had already taken his place on the sofa, and made a bowl of popcorn for each of them. "Hey, Jake!" He said with a grin as they came through the door. Jacob flopped down next to his pack mate.

"Where'd Nessie get off to?" Jacob asked, ignoring the slightly grossed-out look that flashed very briefly across Seth's face.

"She and Esme snuck away somewhere. They disappeared a while ago. Not sure where to."

Jacob met Carlisle's eye very briefly, and he swallowed a groan.

He had a pretty good idea what they were up to.

**In the next chapter:**

"_I understand how you feel," her Grandmother said in a quiet voice. "I'm sure we all could have handled things better than we did. You mustn't blame Jacob… he was under a great deal of pressure." That surprised her… Esme's first thought was to defend Jacob. "As for the rest of us… there has been a great deal going on back here, while you've been away, that you don't know about…"_


	23. Esme's Advice

**A/N: **Hi guys!

Thanks to everybody who read and reviewed the last chapter… you guys are awesome!

Here's the_ other_ side of the talk… everybody's getting schooled by the grandparents =D

I'm going to have to skip the mid-week update next week, seeing as I'll be on trains and buses, trying to get to the family in time for the holidays. I hope all of you have an excellent holiday season, complete with TIME OFF from whatever it is you work at. I'll be back in a week, and I'll try my best to post Sunday night as usual! I WILL still be responding to reviews, so please leave your feedback! Thanks in advance.

Enjoy this chapter, and happy holidays!

~Crit.

**Chapter 23: Esme's Advice**

Renesmee felt the sudden, stifling sensation of being trapped as soon as Jacob and her grandfather took off for the perimeter. Over the past three months, she'd gotten used to being able to walk out of her front door and be faced with a million places to go. She had options in New York, things she could do. Distractions, activities. On the compound, there was only family. And as thrilled as she was to see her aunt and uncle and her grandparents, her discomfort at having to police her thoughts around her parents was wearing on her. It wasn't the relaxing, carefree vacation with her family that she had tricked herself into looking forward to, not at all.

Most of her stress derived not from the act of hiding her thoughts, but from the fact that she had to hide them in the first place. Before she and Jacob had gotten together, she'd never really needed to hide anything from her parents. She'd wanted to sometimes, just to get a little privacy, but mostly she'd always been completely open and upfront with them. As much as she wanted to be free to live her own life, her parents were one of the most important parts of her heart. She was finding, to her extreme distress, that it actually _hurt_ her to deceive them, especially since they knew that she was doing it. They just didn't know why.

After some more joking around with Emmett and Rosalie, Renesmee excused herself for a moment, citing the need for fresh air (something her family always fell for hook, line and sinker, an excuse that only she could use) and stepped out onto the front porch of the house. She sat down slowly on the step and put her elbows on her knees, then rested her forehead on in her hands. How was she going to survive this weekend?

There was a soft padding sound of footsteps approaching, and Renesmee stiffened and sat up. _Dad_. But then the wind switched, and she was hit full-on by the scent of wolf. _Not Dad._ She looked up and smiled.

"Hi, Seth."

Seth smiled back at her. "Hey, Nessie," He said, a slightly awkward note in his voice. Renesmee wrinkled her nose in dismay as she realized what Seth must have seen earlier, when Jacob had phased and run to meet his pack.

"Um… So. How're you doing?" She asked lamely. Seth shifted his weight from foot to foot and avoided her eye.

"Good… you know, same as always. Nothing much changes around here." Renesmee knew her cheeks were on fire, and she was even more embarrassed at being embarrassed.

"Seth," she said in the lowest voice possible. "I'm sorry you had to see… whatever you saw." Seth's eyes shot up to look at her.

"It's okay," he said quickly. Then his expression softened as he looked at her face and saw her intense embarrassment. He moved forward to sit on the step beside her and put one warm arm around her shoulders. "Aw, Nessie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make things weird for you. It happens, you know? We're all used to it… just not with you. You're like… it's like watching your family." He made a face. "Well, not quite that bad. But almost. Don't worry… we'll get used to it. It's just going to take a while." He gave her shoulders a squeeze. Renesmee shrank herself into his side. Seth was warm and strong, just like Jacob, but he smelled different, like surf and maple. It was a comforting smell, the scent of the person who'd been uncle, brother and friend to her in equal parts. Jacob's pack brother, the one he looked out for and took care of the most, although neither of them would ever admit it. She'd missed Seth so much.

"I'm glad we can be honest with you, Seth," She said, returning his sideways-hug with vigor. "It's been… hard, with my family." She was speaking as low as she could, knowing that if she talked at normal volume the three remaining vampires in the house would most definitely overhear.

"You know you can always tell me anything." His raised an eyebrow. "So how're you guys dealing with you dad?"

"Basically, we're not." Renesmee sighed. "We've pretty much been doing anything we can to keep our brains full of other things when he's around, which as you well know has the exact same result as if we'd hired a skywriter to spell out 'We're Hiding Things From You'. I actually think my mom's finding it kind of funny… but Edward is _pissed_."

Seth was about to reply when the front door swung open and Emmett appeared behind them. "Oh, hey Junior," he said with a nod. Then he turned to Renesmee. "Esme wants you, kiddo. She's upstairs."

Renesmee gave Seth another quick hug and hopped to her feet. "Thanks, Uncle Em, she said before going back into the house and mounting the stairs.

She knocked on the door to her grandparents' room and, at the sound of Esme's gentle 'Come in', opened it and went inside. It was actually more of a suite of rooms, with a large, elegant sitting room in the front, two matching walk-in closets that doubled as dressing rooms, a bathroom and, separated by an ornate sliding wood door, a large, brightly lit bedroom. The elaborate design was, in Renesmee's opinion, a bit unnecessary, considering neither of her grandparents slept. But then again, she knew that their bedroom was more than just a place to put the bed, in her Grandmother's eyes. Esme's first marriage had been difficult. She'd never had the chance to live like a lady in her human life, and Renesmee knew that as long as her Grandfather walked the earth, he would spare no expense or trouble to make sure his wife had the best of everything. Not that her Grandmother would ever demand or expect it. But Carlisle would give it to her just the same.

It warmed Renesmee all over to think of how very much her grandparents cared for each other. She couldn't help but compare their enduring love to her blossoming romance with Jacob. Although they known each other their entire lives, she and Jacob were just starting to discover each other as romantic partners. It would take years, decades, maybe even more than a century before they would know and understand each other as well as Carlisle and Esme did. But, rather than being discouraged by that knowledge, Renesmee found that she was bolstered by it, and filled with excitement at the idea of passing those years with their lives joined together.

Renesmee could tell as soon as her Grandmother met her eye that Esme knew everything she was thinking. She was so empathic sometimes that Renesmee wondered if she might not have a latent gift, similar to Jasper's. She rose from where she was seated, in front of her vanity mirror, and crossed the room to embrace her granddaughter. Renesmee inhaled the familiar scent of her grandmother; she couldn't get enough of it. Esme was as beloved to her as her own mother. She sighed into her honey-colored locks as the firm, cool grip of Esme's arms surrounded her.

"My darling," Esme whispered against her cheek. "You must tell me everything."

Renesmee pulled back and gave her grandmother a rueful smile. "How did you know?" She said, shaking her head. "We were so sure we'd have everybody fooled…"

"Alice phoned while you were in the car attempting to pull the wool over your parents' eyes," Esme replied. She started for the bedroom, and motioned for Renesmee to follow. They sat on the bed, cross-legged and facing each other. "That was a very nasty trick you two played on your father, by the way. He seems thoroughly confused."

Renesmee shrugged. "If he'd stay out of my brain, he wouldn't have to be confused."

"Now stop that. You know he can't help it." Renesmee sighed and nodded.

"I know, I know. But mom can. It would have been nice of her to offer, without Jacob and I having to force her hand." She looked over at Esme with a pained expression. "I hate having to give them the work-around, but you _know_ we couldn't have told them. I don't have a Juliet complex… I have absolutely no desire for my relatives and the man I love to start going around killing each other."

"Certainly not." Esme gave her an encouraging smile. "Your parents aren't completely unaware, Renesmee. They knew this would happen eventually."

"Yes, apparently everybody did," She said with a hint of bitterness. "Oh, except for me, of course, but it's not like it has any bearing on my life."

It was funny to see her sincere, gentle Grandmother rolling her eyes, but that was exactly what she did. "Renesmee, most of us are willing to treat you like the grown woman you are, but if you insist on acting like a sullen teenager, we may have to rethink that strategy." Renesmee felt a flush of humiliation at her Grandmother's admonition.

"Sorry, Grandma," She muttered. "I'm just a bit irritated about nobody bringing this up to me. Do you have any idea the kind of detective work I had to do to figure this whole thing out? I spied on Jacob and Dad's phone conversations, I spent hours in the library, I did everything on my own while you all just _sat _there with the answers I needed and kept them to yourselves. And I'm trying not to be mad about that, but it kind of hurts that none of you, not even Jacob, trusted me enough to give me the whole story and let me decide things on my own."

Now it was Esme who looked ashamed. Renesmee couldn't stand it; everything she did just upset her family. "I understand how you feel," her Grandmother said in a quiet voice. "I'm sure we all could have handled things better than we did. You mustn't blame Jacob… he was under a great deal of pressure." That surprised her… Esme's first thought was to defend Jacob. "As for the rest of us… there has been a great deal going on back here, while you've been away, that you don't know about. And maybe we should have told you before now. Maybe we didn't act in the most prudent way. Perhaps it would have been best if we'd all been honest with you from the beginning… the only excuse I can offer you is that your parents are very young—"

"My dad is over a century old!"

"_Emotionally_,"Esme said, and Renesmee caught a twinkle in her eye, "You parents are _both_ very young. And as for the rest of us… we are inexperienced when it comes to a situation such as this. There has never _been_ a situation such as this. And we've made mistakes, errors in judgment. Your grandfather and I are responsible for the actions of every member of this family, and as such, we feel it's our job to correct the mistakes we've made. On behalf of Carlisle and myself, I apologize to you for not being completely honest with you before today. And, if you'll accept my apology, I'd like to tell you everything now."

Renesmee's jaw hung slack, and she just stared dumbly at her Grandmother until she could find her bearings. "Grandma," She said, frowning, "Of course I accept your apology. But I think you'd better tell me quickly what exactly is happening… you're kind of freaking me out."

Esme gave her a smile and placed one cool hand on her arm. "Not to worry. I don't think it's anything we can't handle… anything _you_ can't handle. I have incredible faith in your abilities, Renesmee."

Now she was truly confused. "What is it I'm supposed to be handling, then?" She said, trying to quell the rising panic. Speculations started to crop up in her head, and she pushed them back and waited for an answer.

"It's your mother." Renesmee started; whatever she'd expected, it hadn't been that.

"Mom?" Esme nodded, and the panic rushed back, stronger this time. "What's wrong with her? Is she okay?" She started to get up, but Esme held her in place.

"Yes, and no. Don't worry, she _will_ be fine, eventually. But she's been… troubled… since you left."

Renesmee couldn't understand. "But I've talked to her on the phone… we talked almost every day, she seemed fine. Normal. Maybe a bit distant sometimes, but I just figured she was missing me, or distracted by something." She tried very hard to keep the prickling feeling behind her eyes from turning into tears. "What do you mean, troubled?"

Esme sighed quietly and patted Renesmee's arm in what was supposed to be a comforting gesture. "Darling, your mother is the first vampire that we have ever known of with her own biological child. You two were always close, and nobody gave it a second thought… she's your mother, you're her child. What could be more normal or beautiful?" Renesmee nodded, and Esme continued. "It wasn't until very recently, just after the decision was made for you to go away with Jacob, that we began to notice certain things about her behavior. The way your father describes it, she began to have rather… violent thoughts and impulses, similar to those of a predatory animal protecting her young."

"Protecting me from…" Esme's point finally locked into place. "From Jacob?" She practically shouted, feeling shocked and horrified. "When you say 'violent', how violent do you mean?"

"It was enough for your father to insist that Jacob was removed from her presence. Edward was very concerned that he wouldn't be able to control Bella, should she lose control of herself. You can't tell me you weren't surprised that you and Jacob didn't meet more resistance over moving out to the city together."

Renesmee nodded slowly. "I did think it was kind of weird how he just changed tunes the way he did, objecting so hard one minute and then being pretty much fine with it the next. But I… I kind of just thought he wanted me to be happy." She shook her head. "Guess not."

"Of course you father wants you to be happy, Nessie." Her grandmother took her hands and looked into her eyes. "Don't ever doubt that. Your mother too. But they were both much less prepared than they thought they would be for the speed at which your relationship with Jacob progressed."

"But," Renesmee protested, "Nothing happened between us until just a few weeks ago!"

"No, but darling… your father can hear people's thoughts."

Renesmee squeezed her eyes shut. "Oh. Then, Jacob was… right, I get it. And Dad told Mom, and Mom got all… feral, or whatever."

Esme laugh a little, albeit humorlessly. "Feral is a fairly accurate description." She sighed again. "I won't lie to you, Nessie, it's been difficult. There have been times when we've all been terrified of her… and for her. Jasper has worked hard at keeping her subdued while your father and Carlisle help her work through things rationally. As long as we can neutralize her protective instincts, her rational side is strong enough to keep her in check. She knows that what she's feeling is irrational and out of line… but it's so much stronger than her. I can't imagine that any of us would be able to control ourselves any better than she has, in her situation."

Renesmee let that new information sink in. So her mother was acting like a homicidal maniac, and it was all because of her. She knew it wasn't her fault, or her mothers, but she felt awful nonetheless. Not to mention terrified for Jacob. "Wait," she said, "If it's been that bad, how come she was able to be in the car with me and Jacob for hours and not attack him? She was even pleasant to him. She seemed fine… she shielded us."

Esme gave a small, wry smile at that. "That may have something to do with the little bit of misdirection you and Jacob threw at your father the other week."

"Misdirection? What do you…" suddenly Renesmee recalled the conversation she'd spied on between her father and Jacob, when she'd realized Jacob thought she had feelings for Rideau. "OH no."

"After that, your mother calmed down. When she thought you would begin to develop feelings for Jacob, she panicked and her instincts kicked into high gear because she knew you two were meant to be together. We believe that, whether she is conscious of it or not, she instinctively knows that he's the only one who will ever be able to take you away from her."

"That's not what's happening—"

Esme cut her off. "I know, dear. You mother knows it too, when she's at her most reasonable. But her instincts react independently of her mind, and she can't control them. At any rate, when she thought you were falling for a normal human boy rather than your soulmate, her protective instincts flared up at first, but they were deflected from Jacob, and she began to be able to look at him through more rational eyes and see that he was not the threat she'd imagined, at least not _yet_. And then her violent tendencies ebbed, to the point where she relaxed somewhat about the whole situation. She knows that you're not meant for anyone other than Jacob, and she instinctively trusts you to make the proper decisions. She's still very distraught about the idea of you being involved with some stranger, but she no longer believes you've found the person in him that will take you away from her. You two bought yourselves some time to work things out by dropping that bit of false information on your father."

Renesmee felt simultaneously relieved and concerned, but she couldn't help laughing at the comedy of errors that was unfolding around her. "Well, I'm glad about that… but we didn't mislead him on purpose." At Esme's confused look, she explained, "Jacob actually believed everything he told my father. You know he's not that good of a liar. He picked up on the fact that I had feelings for someone… he was just way off base about _who._" She shook her head. "It wasn't exactly fun between the two of us for a little while there. That conversation between Jacob and my father was actually what tipped me off… I, um, listened in."

Esme smiled back at her. "In that case it's a good thing you're so sneaky." Renesmee laughed at that, but quickly sobered.

"What are we going to do about mom?" She said, knowing her grandmother already had a plan.

"You're going to talk with her. The only way she'll be even close to being able to accept it is if it comes from you. You're going to tell her the truth."

**From the Next Chapter:**

_Renesmee knelt in front of her seated mother, directly between her and the rest of the room. If Bella wanted to move, she'd have to throw her off first, and Renesmee wasn't going to let go easily. If all this was for her protection, her mother would have to decide what would hurt her more: a broken arm, or a boyfriend._

_ "Mom," she said quietly, "It's Jacob."_

_ Her mother's grip tightened on her hands, and her jaw locked and went rigid. Renesmee winced, but didn't draw her hands away. "No," her mother said harshly, "No."_


	24. The Lesser of Two Evils

**A/N: **Okay, so I know I said Sunday… but my train was delayed a whopping hour and a half on the way home from the mother's house, so it didn't happen. And then I was back to work with a vengeance, so I haven't been able to even scrape together the energy to edit and prep the cha[ter for posting. SO it's up today. I apologize profusely.

Thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter. I hope you enjoy this one.

Please review!

~Crit.

**Chapter 24: The Lesser of Two Evils**

Renesmee waited nervously in her parents' cottage, pacing the living room floor and worrying away at her bottom lip with her teeth. The house was almost an exact replica of every other one they'd had in her lifetime. Her parents had always preferred to style their private house on the Cullen property after the first one they'd had as a married couple. She should have felt comfortable in such familiar surroundings, but everything was just a little bit off from what she was used to, and it only added to her anxiety.

She was sure it was taking so long because Carlisle and Esme had to finagle her mother away from her father. Keeping Edward away from this conversation wouldn't be easy, but she was sure her grandparents would manage it, somehow.

The door opening caught her off-guard. She hadn't heard her mother approaching. She'd gotten so used to being surrounded by humans that she had almost forgotten how silently her family moved. She looked up almost guiltily as her mother came into the cottage.

"Hi mom," she said cautiously. Her mother gave her a look that seemed almost as wary.

"Hi Honey. Grandma said you needed to talk to me in private… what's up?"

Renesmee took a deep breath and moved towards the couches. "Maybe we should sit down," she suggested, even though her mother obviously had no need to. But she did as Renesmee asked anyhow, curling her feet under herself like she always did. Renesmee watched her mother with a mixture of fondness and dread. She had no idea what was going to happen, and it terrified her.

"Mom," she said after a long stretch of silence, "I have to tell you something." Her mother looked at her with a concerned expression.

"Honey, you look upset."

"I'm not… I'm just… it's a pretty serious thing, this thing I'm going to tell you, and well… I don't want you to get upset." Bella's shoulders slumped as she took in Renesmee's words.

"Did your grandparents tell you something about me being upset?" She asked slowly. She didn't seem irrational, or out of control. Renesmee took that as a sign that she should keep going as planned, with honesty and directness.

"Grandma mentioned you'd been concerned about some things that had to do with me. I want to tell you exactly what's going on in my life, and I want to… explain to you why you don't have to be concerned. But I'm worried you'll be upset."

Her mother nodded. "I'm in control, Renesmee," she said firmly. "I won't get upset with you."

_It's not myself I'm worried about,_ Renesmee thought. "I believe that… just… promise me you'll listen to the whole story before you make a judgment, okay?"

"Honey, you're not on trial!" He mother laughed and shook her head. At the look on Renesmee's face, she became serious again. "Okay. I promise. I'll do my best. All right?"

"All right." Renesmee took a deep breath. "First of all, you need to know that I'm happy. Really, really happy. And I've made some decisions lately that might change the way my life goes from now on. But they were _my_ decisions, and I made them with my eyes wide open, and I'm glad about the results. And one of those decisions is… I've become involved with someone." She winced, ever so slightly, expecting to have to brace herself against some sort of outpouring of emotion.

Bella just nodded. She looked tense and unhappy, but it wasn't the drama-filled reaction Renesmee had been expecting. "I know."

Renesmee sighed. "Mom, it's… it's not who you think." Now her mother gave her a sharp look.

"What do you mean?"

Renesmee suddenly realized that, if her mother reacted badly, she'd never be fast enough to stop her. She trusted that Carlisle and Esme would do their best to protect Jacob. She just didn't trust that their best would be good enough to stop her mother. If what Esme had hinted at was true, Bella became a nearly unstoppable force when her maternal instincts kicked in. She would do anything to protect her child.

To protect _her_.

Renesmee rose slowly, and put out her hands to indicate that her mother should stay where she was. "Mom," she said quietly, "Take my hands." Bella gave her a strange look, but did as she said. Renesmee knelt in front of her seated mother, directly between her and the rest of the room. If she wanted to move, she'd have to throw her off first, and Renesmee wasn't going to let go easily. If all this was for her protection, her mother would have to decide what would hurt her more: a broken arm, or a boyfriend.

"Mom," she said again, "It's Jacob."

Her mother's grip tightened on her hands, and her jaw locked and went rigid. Renesmee winced, but didn't draw her hands away. "No," her mother said harshly, "No."

Renesmee began to speak as rapidly as she could. "I wanted to tell you before. You have no idea how badly. Jacob was so worried. He knew how you felt about it. He tried everything to stop it from happening… he wanted to do right by you and dad, and by me. But he saw how much it hurt me when he pushed me away from him, and he didn't want me to be unhappy…"

"He… pushed you away?" Her mother didn't look any less upset, but she did look surprised. Renesmee nodded.

"He fought really hard against his instincts. It was hard for him, but he didn't tell me anything. I figured it out on my own. It was my decision, my _choice_." Her mother's grip loosened, and Renesmee stifled a moan of relief.

"Your choice…" she echoed, a distant look in her eyes.

"Mom," Renesmee said softly, "I need you to understand. Jacob is… everything to me… but right now I need my momma. I hate how this feels… I feel like I have to choose between you, and it's not a choice I can make."

The clouds in her mother's eyes disappeared, and her face crumpled. "Oh, Sweetheart…" and then Renesmee was in her mother's arms, crushed against her hard, cool breast, being jostled by heavy, tearless sobs that were not her own. She felt her own tears welling up in her eyes at her mother's obvious agony. She had instinctively released her mother's hands when she'd gone to hug her. Now she wasn't sure if she should let go of their embrace. Was Jacob still in danger?

As if inside her head, her mother whispered, "You can let go of me. I won't hurt him, I promise." After a moment of doubt, Renesmee released her grip around her mother's shoulders, and her mother did the same. She reached out and ran one hand gently over Renesmee's copper curls, a fond yet sad expression on her lovely face. "My baby," she said in what was barely a whisper. "I'm so sorry."

Renesmee wasn't sure exactly what her mother was apologizing for, but she'd take it over blind fury any day. "What happened, Mom? Can you tell me?"

Her mother shook her head. "I'm not sure, exactly. One day, everything was fine, and the next I was… just furious. And afraid. I couldn't think, I couldn't do anything except fight against my own mind to stop myself from doing something I knew I'd regret. I just wanted to keep you safe. Carlisle thinks it's the combination of my vampire nature with the protective instincts of a mother. The two aren't supposed to go together. We didn't even think about what might happen… until it did." Renesmee felt a pang of sympathy for her mother. She couldn't even imagine how it had felt. But she was still consumed with worry for Jacob's safety.

"What about now?" She asked carefully. "How do you feel?"

Her mother sighed gently. "Embarrassed. And concerned for your well-being. Over-protective, still, and a bit upset. But not… crazy. All my feelings right now are normal feelings, and normal I can handle." Renesmee felt the tension in her chest snap, and she dissolved into weak laughter.

"Thank god for that."

Her mother smiled back at her and touched her hair again. "Oh, Honey," she said, shaking her head, "I'm so sorry I couldn't be there for you, while you were figuring this all out. We all misinterpreted what was going on with you. Had I known…" she paused. "Scratch that. I probably would have done even more damage." She gave her a regretful look. "If I can make up for it now…?"

Relief surged through Renesmee, and she got up from the floor to sit next to her mother on the couch. She leaned her weight against her, enjoying the feeling of cool fingers winding through her hair. "There are so many things I want to talk to you about," she said quietly. "I don't know where to start." She twisted a bit so that she could look up into her mother's face. "I know about you and Jacob, about what happened when Dad left."

Bella's eyes widened. "He… told you that?" Renesmee nodded.

"I don't want to talk about it now. I just wanted you to know that I know. And it's gross, but I can handle it."

Her mother laughed, a most welcome sound. "Good. Because that's sort of how I feel at the moment." Renesmee joined her in her laughter.

"Mom?"

"Yeah, Honey?"

"I really, really love him." Bella's hand stilled, and when Renesmee looked up she saw the oddest look on her mother's face. It was both sad and joyful at the same time. She smiled tentatively. "You know?"

"Yes. I know." She smiled back at her daughter. "I know exactly how you feel." Then she shook her head. "The real question is, what do we do about your father?"

"Shit."

"Nessie!" Her mother shot her a look. Renesmee just rolled her eyes.

"Like you've never cursed."

Her mother gave her a tiny smile. "Never. But you've got a good point… it won't be easy."

"Harder than talking you down from… whatever it was you had going on?"

"Maybe." Bella frowned and looked thoughtful. "Okay… go find Emmett, get him to take you on that hunting trip. Take Jacob with you. I'll talk to your father."

Renesmee eyed her mother doubtfully. "Are you sure that's a good idea? Jacob was really worried… he said Dad threatened to take him out of my life if he even so much as touched me." She tried not to blush, but was unsuccessful. Her mother just smiled.

"Honey, you may not have noticed, but your father has a bit of a flare for the dramatic." Renesmee snorted. "Let me handle him… and prepare yourself and Jake."

"For our escape?" She was only half-joking.

"No… for a lecture."

oooOOOooo

Emmett teased them mercilessly the entire hunt. By the time they were done, Renesmee was about ready to ditch the prey and just tear a good-sized chunk out of her uncle. Jacob was edgy and off-kilter, and that in turn caused Renesmee to be anxious and upset. That feeling was only magnified once they got back inside the fence.

"Jake," Renesmee said, grabbing his arm to hold him back, "Walk the perimeter with me for a minute." Emmett gave them a lecherous look, which soon turned straight once he caught sight of his niece's face.

"I'll just… tell them we're back," He said uncomfortably. Renesmee nodded.

"That's probably a good idea. Tell them we'll be in soon."

Once Emmett was gone, Renesmee began to walk, and Jacob went alongside her. "I know you're not exactly thrilled with how the night has gone so far," she said, jumping right in, "But Jacob, it was really the only way."

He gave a heavy sigh. "I know that. Carlisle explained everything when he told me the plan. And believe me, I'm glad you were able to handle your mom so well." He gave her a fond look. "I'm proud of you… and surprised at the size of your balls." Renesmee rolled her eyes.

"Thanks. They're my best-kept secret."

Jacob chuckled, and then sobered again. "But as glad as I am that your mom's got our backs now, I'm still really worried about your dad."

That much had been obvious to Renesmee from the get-go. She took Jacob's hand as they strolled. "I know you are. I don't exactly feel at-ease about going back and facing things, either, but it has to happen." She gave him an apologetic look. "I'm so sorry, Jake. It's my family that's making this difficult… yours never would. And I wish I could just say 'fuck it' and ignore them, let them throw their tantrums on their own. But I can't do that. Being back here, even under these circumstances, has made me realize more than ever how much they matter to me. And I can't let that go… not even for you."

Jacob didn't look at her, and his face was a hard, impassive mask. "I'm not sure what you're saying," He said in an even tone.

"I'm saying that I need all of you… you, my parents, and the rest of my family. I'm not willing to give any of you up. So we're just going to have to work this out, one way or the other. I can't be divided up between you and them… I won't be."

Jacob looked relieved, and he squeezed her hand gently but firmly. "Is that all? We're _going_ to work it out. I thought that was a given."

"Then what did you _think_ I was saying?"

"I thought you were…" Jacob took a moment to take a breath. "I thought you were trying to tell me that, if push came to shove, you would choose them."

"What?" Renesmee's heart clenched painfully, and she stopped in her tracks. "Jacob Black, how could you even think that?" He looked a bit taken aback, which Renesmee figured was perfectly appropriate given the circumstances. "I would never do that! I'm saying that I can't choose between you or them… there's no way, it isn't possible. But you can't really have believed, even for a minute, that I would give you up for them!" Jacob just shrugged. Renesmee was sure she looked just as incredulous as she felt. She wasn't sure whether to be angry or devastated. "Would you give me up for your pack?" She demanded, although she wasn't sure now that she wanted to know the answer. Jacob gave her a look that made her feel very, very small.

"Never," he said, as if it was obvious.

"Okay. And could you give up the pack for me?"

"Yes." Renesmee felt the ground spin beneath her at the sound of Jacob's voice. It was thin, and tight, but still unwavering.

"No," she said in a harsh whisper. "Jacob, you can't just say something like that." Again, he shrugged, although this time it seemed more strained.

"I'm not just saying it, Nessie. I mean it."

"But, but…" She sputtered, "They're your family!"

"Yeah, and it would hurt. A lot. But they could live without me… and I can't live without you."

Renesmee just stared at him. He wasn't just posturing; he really believed what he was saying. To be able to state with such certainty that he would give up everything to be with her… it was unbelievable. "Jacob," she began, but he cut her off.

"It's okay, Nessie. I've always known where I stood on this point. I left my home a long time ago to be with you and I don't regret it. If I had to leave the pack, I would do that, too." He put both of his hands on her shoulders. "Listen, I know you can't say the same thing, and I understand. You don't have to feel bad. It's different for me than it is for you. I get that."

"But," she argued, "I feel like, if you're willing to make a sacrifice like that and I'm not, it means you love me more than I love you. And I just don't see how that can be possible, when I love you so much." She wished that she could stop feeling as thought she was a second away from bursting into tears. Jacob just gave her a soft smile.

"Sweetheart, don't worry about that. I'm not." He pulled her to his chest and wrapped his arms around her. "I know you love me. I also know how much you love your family. One doesn't cancel out the other." Renesmee pressed her cheek to his chest. She could feel the heat of his body through their clothes, and wished she could just melt into him and disappear from this horrible day.

"They're not going to go easy on us," she said into his t-shirt, "Even if my dad _is_ calm enough to have a discussion instead of a throw-down."

"Yeah… I know that, too." Jacob pulled back just enough to look into her eyes. "I think I'm ready. You?"

"As I'll ever be." She went up on her toes to kiss him, and he bent to meet her half way. Renesmee had to break away from him before it got too involved. "Enough," she said reluctantly, sinking back onto her heels and attempting to smooth her hair. Jacob ran his hands over his shirt as if to make himself presentable. It was a lost cause: they were both rumpled from the hunt, and looked like a couple of dirty, guilty kids. As they started across the lawn towards the big house, Renesmee reached over and took Jacob's hand in hers again.

"Okay," she said, "Let's get this over with."

**In the Next Chapter:**

"_Edward," Bella began, "Maybe you should let Jacob exp—"_

_ "This is between me and the wolf," Edward hissed at his wife. He was looking at her, but all the tension in his body was still pointed in Jacob's direction. He cast a glance around the room. "The rest of you can leave now."_


	25. Dealing With Dad

**AN:** This chapter closes out what I like to think of as the first "book" of this story. Yay! Part one is complete!

I'll begin posting part two mid-week next week, and update twice a week as usual (if I can maintain my lead). Part II is more exciting… while the first half of the story has been very emotion-bound, the second has much more action. I'm not nearly done writing it, but it's already a whole lot of fun.

Thanks for your patience with me as I get back on track after the holidays. I think I've got it down now.

Please review… I'd love your feedback/speculation on what is to come!

Thanks for reading! Enjoy!

~Crit.

**Chapter 25: Dealing With Dad**

The first thing Jacob noticed upon entering the house was the expression on Bella's face. Their eyes locked immediately and a look of pure remorse flooded across the features of the youngest Cullen vampire. Jacob managed a small, accepting smile, and he saw the relief in his old friend's eyes, and knew that there would be no difficulty dealing with her. The next thing he noticed was that Bella, Carlisle, and Emmett were positioned directly between Edward and the door. And Edward…

Jacob winced. Renesmee's father was standing with his back to them, his shoulders tense and square. Jacob knew that he was either listening to their heads, or stewing over the fact that Bella had blocked them out. He hoped it was the latter, but just in case, he decided to send a very clear mental message. _Edward, please just hear us out. Renesmee needs you to listen to her._

"Jacob!" Edward's voice was clear, and loud, and it made Jacob freeze in his tracks. He was immediately on the defensive, ready to bolt at the first sign of violence. "_Do not_ appeal to my fondness for my daughter in an attempt to make this easier on yourself." That cinched it; he was listening.

Renesmee started forward. "Dad, stop it," she said, sounding exasperated.

"Renesmee, stay out of this." Edward turned around as his daughter threw her hands up.

"How can I possibly do _that_? I'm the subject of all this drama, aren't I?" Edward didn't respond. Jacob figured it was probably because he knew his daughter had a point.

"You gave me your word, Jacob," the vampire said to him. Jacob examined his face. Edward looked horrible. "You and I had an agreement, which you broke."

"I know," Jacob tried his best to look submissive and non-threatening, not an easy feat for a giant man inches away from exploding into a cloud of teeth and claws. This was not the time for a display of machismo, and Jacob's rational side knew it. He needed to grovel, and he needed to do it fast. "I'm sorry about that, Edward. I never meant to break my promise."

"He's telling the truth, Dad," Renesmee added.

"I thought I told you to stay out of this, Renesmee!" His voice was almost a snarl.

"But I—" Jacob gave her a sharp look, and she fell back. Jacob was relieved… it wouldn't do the two of them any good to gang up on Edward.

"Edward," Bella began, "Maybe you should let Jacob exp—"

"This is between me and the wolf," Edward hissed at his wife. He was looking at her, but all the tension in his body was still pointed in Jacob's direction. He cast a glare around the room. "The rest of you can leave now."

"No way, man," Emmett piped up. "We're staying right here."

"Seriously. If you dismantle him inside the house, we'll _never_ get the smell out," Rosalie added.

"_Rosalie_!" Carlisle gave his adoptive daughter the most chastising look Jacob had ever seen. Rosalie practically shrank beneath it, but quickly recovered her cool with a trademark glower.

"Sorry," She muttered, "Now's the time when we _don't_ use our senses of humor. Got it."

"Fine," Edward said coldly. "Jacob, if you want them to hear what I have to say, then by all means, they can stay here." He took a step forward, and Bella and Emmett moved closer. Edward just shook his head at his wife and brother.

"Edward, if you could just let me talk for one minute…"

"After." Edward's gaze was full of anger and disappointment. "Your kind and mine are, by nature, enemies. You know that. Everybody here knows that. Over the years, I have gotten to know you, Jacob, and I've come to think of you as a part of my family. This has required an incredible amount of open-mindedness and trust on both my part and yours. I put my trust in you when it came to the most important thing in my life: my daughter. And as of today, that trust has been broken."

"Look, I never meant to take advantage of your trust in me…"

Again, Edward cut him off. "But you did. Nearly the minute my back was turned, you forgot your promise to me and did what was best for _you_. Not only does that display a serious lack of good judgment, but a serious lack of character as well." Jacob felt like a very small child being lectured by an angry parent, and he couldn't help but think back on his arguments with Renesmee. She obviously took after her father, at least when it came to fighting. Except Edward wasn't likely to forgive him for the same reasons she did. "No, I'm not," Edward said, responding directly to his thoughts. "Jacob, our lives are precarious enough without having to doubt those who we surround ourselves with. I asked you to do one thing, out of respect for myself and my family, and you gave me your word that you would do as I asked. I trusted you completely, and you made me look like a fool." He narrowed his eyes. "Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

Jacob nodded slowly. He felt _awful_. "I never meant to disrespect you," he said. His alpha instincts were screaming at him to fight back, assert his dominance, take control and stop letting a bloodsucker push him around, but Jacob fought against his impulses. His every nerve sang with discomfort, but he managed a good level of subservience. Edward noticed, and not only from what he could hear in Jacob's mind. Jacob met his eyes again, and then deliberately lowered his gaze and bowed his head. "I apologize for going against my word."

Everyone was silent for a moment. Jacob couldn't tell if all the others in the room understood exactly what it meant for the Alpha of a powerful pack to surrender complete control to a vampire, but he knew that Edward recognized the level of sacrifice and commitment involved.

"Well," said Edward in a low monotone, "Then I trust you won't do it again."

Jacob looked up to see that Edward's entire stance had changed. He still looked _extremely_ unimpressed, but most of the tension had gone out of his frame, and he was no longer poised as if to pounce on Jacob at the first opportunity. As Jacob watched, he thought he saw a hint of satisfaction glinting in the vampire's cool amber eyes, and his jaw nearly dropped. Was this all some bizarre vampire version of scaring your daughter's new boyfriend shitless?

"Possibly," Edward replied. Jacob shook his head with a low, humorless laugh.

"Oh, Goddamnit," he muttered under his breath. Edward's mouth actually turned up at one corner at that exclamation. The vampires seemed to pick up on the change in the air; they all stood down simultaneously, sensing the need for protection was over.

All heads turned suddenly towards Renesmee as she stamped one foot, a look of intense irritation on her face. There was a resounding _crack_ as the floorboard beneath her splintered. "Will somebody tell me what the _hell_ is going on here?" She pointed at her father. "First, you want to kill my… Um, Jacob. And then _you_," she rounded on Jacob himself, "You think it's a good time to chuckle and curse? If we could keep the majority of this conversation out of our heads and in the open, that'd be just _swell_." Edward gave his daughter a look that implied he had infinitely more patience than she could be bothered to test.

" 'Your… Jacob' needed a few things pointed out to him before the real discussion could take place," He said cryptically. "Namely, just exactly who he's dealing with." Renesmee's eyebrows flew up so high they were practically in her hairline.

"So that was just, what, some stupid pissing contest?" She darted forward before any of them could catch her and jabbed her finger into her father's chest. "You scared the _crap_ out of me!" Emmett was chuckling, and Jacob had the bizarre urge to join him… after all, it was pretty funny. Edward just stared calmly down at his daughter.

"Fair enough," he said, not even bothering to comment on her language. "Now, if you're quite finished, your mother and I would like to sit down with you and Jacob. Your mother seems to think it's possible for the four of us to discuss this like mature adults. Do you disagree?" Renesmee clamped her mouth shut and, eyes wide, shook her head. "Good," Edward said. "I think it's best if we go upstairs. Carlisle?"

"You may use my office," Carlisle replied. He gave his son a hard look. "We'll be just downstairs." Jacob thought it sounded just a little bit like a warning.

As they climbed the stairs, Jacob heard Rosalie saying, "How come Edward gets to be funny? Does that seem fair to anyone here?" followed by Esme bemoaning her granddaughter's destruction of her beautiful hardwood floor.

Bella and Edward settled on the business side of the doctor's massive desk, leaving Jacob and Renesmee no alternative but to sit in the two chairs on the other side. It was like being in the middle of the world's most intimidating job interview. Jacob squirmed under the cold gaze of the two vampires, neither of whom seemed to be very happy with him, and braced himself for another barrage of disappointment and anger.

"Renesmee," Edward began in a dark tone. Jacob's head snapped towards his imprint; both of her parents were staring her down with looks of extreme discontent. She looked surprised and uncomfortable. Edward shook his head. "We're extremely disappointed in you."

"Wait a minute," Jacob said, unable to help himself, "She didn't do anything wrong…"

"No, Jacob," Bella said, sounding almost as harsh as her husband, "Renesmee needs to hear this, and you need to be quiet and not interrupt." Jacob's mouth snapped shut.

"I don't understand," Renesmee replied, addressing her father. "I know you're not happy, but why…" she put her hands up, not really needing to finish her sentence. Edward frowned.

"You admitted to Esme that you listened in on private conversations between Jacob and myself. It was not your place to do that. And, as Jacob has clearly indicated to Carlisle, you were made fully aware that he and I had an agreement regarding his conduct towards you. Knowing full well that Jacob would face consequences that were at best unpleasant should you choose to act on your feelings, you still proceeded to put him in a position where he had very little control over himself. As far as I am concerned, part of the responsibility for Jacob going back on his word goes to you, Renesmee." He shook his head. "I would have expected much better from you."

Jacob risked a sideways look at Renesmee; she looked horrified at her father's reprimand. "Hold on, Edward," he said, "It's not Nessie's fault."

"It is," Bella replied softly. "Jacob, we know you love Renesmee very much. But you have to allow her to own when she's wrong." She gave her daughter a pointed look.

Renesmee looked like she might burst into tears any moment. "Mom, Dad," she said, and then sighed heavily. "You're right. I've been acting horribly this whole time. I was confused and upset, and I was mean to Jacob because I didn't understand my own feelings. I acted suspicious, and I was sneaky and dishonest." She turned to look at Jacob. "Jake, I'm sorry. I don't know what was wrong with me. It's not like me to act that way, and I hate that I was so focused on what I needed that I made you break your word."

Jacob shook his head, and then after a short moment's pause, reached over and took her hands in his. Edward and Bella could deal with it… Renesmee needed him. "Nessie, it's okay. Don't feel bad…"

"No," to his surprise, she pulled her hands away. Then she looked at her parents. "I get it now, what you're trying to tell me. Jake," she looked back towards him, "I know you're going to tell me it's okay, but it really isn't. I shouldn't have disregarded what you were trying to tell me the way I did. I should have listened to you. Just because you forgive me doesn't mean it wasn't wrong of me to do it."

Confused, Jacob placed his hands in his lap and tried not to feel rejected. "I'm always going to forgive you, Nessie."

"That's the whole point," she said, shaking her head. "I can't be exempt from the rules just because you care so much about me. _That_ is what my parents are trying to point out."

Jacob looked over at the two vampires. Bella was watching her daughter with an open display of pride. Edward was a bit more stoic, but Jacob could tell that he was also impressed by his daughter's words. "I think you've got the gist of it," he said in a voice that was much kinder than the one he'd been using before. Bella made a positive sound of agreement.

"I think we can all agree that people sometimes act a little crazy when they're in love," she said, looking pointedly at both Jacob and Edward in turn. "It's not an excuse," she was quick to add, "It's just a fact."

"Can I just say something?" Renesmee piped up. Edward motioned for her to continue. "I get that you guys are upset with us. But I'm also kind of upset with you. I can't _believe_ my whole family hid something so important from me. What you said earlier about being able to trust people? That works both ways. I never thought I'd have any reason to distrust any of you, and now I have to wonder what else you've kept secret from me for my entire life. And no," she said quickly at the sign that Edward was about to interrupt her, "I don't want to hear that it was for my own good. I'm old enough now to see what's good for me, and that's being with Jacob. The way we're supposed to be. So yeah, Dad, I can accept that I put Jacob in a horrible position with you. But you put him in a horrible position with _me_. I don't blame him for not telling me, not when you were all ready to take him to bits if he even so much as hinted at the infamous 'I-word'." Jacob could do nothing but watch, stunned, as Renesmee defended him. He wanted to tell her to stop, that she'd only make things worse with Edward and Bella, that it wasn't that bad… But to be honest, he kind of wanted them to hear it. She had a point.

Edward's eyes darted to Jacob, and her knew the vampire was listening to his head again. When he looked back at his daughter, his face was less pleased, yet settled into an expression of acceptance. "In the interest of fairness, I'll concede this point to you, Renesmee," he said graciously. "Your argument is valid. I compelled Jacob to act in a way that was contrary to all his natural instincts, and it included being secretive and dishonest towards you. I should have found some other way to handle the situation, and I apologize for not making an attempt at a better solution. Jacob, I'm sorry." He polished the whole speech off with a look that clearly said 'So There'. Jacob, for his part, was shocked beyond belief. Bella also looked pretty gobsmacked. Evidently, Edward didn't apologize much, although he was so good at it you'd think he never did anything but.

"That's… um, it's cool, Edward," Jacob said eloquently. He looked at Renesmee, expecting her to fall to pieces at her father's graceful admission of guilt.

She did not. As Jacob watched, her eyes narrowed and focused on her father, and she nodded. "I'm glad you feel that way, Dad," she said, and Jacob knew she meant it honestly. But something else was up. What was she doing? Clearly, Edward didn't know either. He watched his daughter with a mixture of sternness and foreboding. "Now that we know where everybody stands, we can make a new deal." She sat forward in her chair, leaning towards the desk and her parents. "Jacob told me everything, obviously, about how you threatened to remove him from my life if he broke the little deal you two made. Now, I know how you like to follow through on the things you say, dad, but that obviously isn't going to happen in this situation. If anything, my guilt and your guilt cancel each other out. So the way I see it, we're square now." She sat back and spread her hands, palms up. "Clean slate?"

It wasn't often that Jacob got to see Edward looking surprised, so he allowed himself to thoroughly enjoy it. The fact that it was his Imprint putting the vampire in such a state only made it that much more delightful. Edward scowled briefly before rearranging his face into its usual impassive mask. "Only if Jacob agrees to stop mentally celebrating at my discomfort," he said tightly. Jacob couldn't help but let out a short burst of laughter; he could see that Bella was having a hard time keeping it under wraps as well. "All right, Renesmee," Edward continued. "You've talked a good line. I accept your proposal. Consider your slate, and Jacob's, officially clean where I am concerned. Bella?" Bella nodded quickly and surely.

"But I think, for all our sakes, there need to be some ground rules," she was quick to qualify. Jacob nodded his agreement. Renesmee shrugged.

"Okay. Like what?" She said.

"Jacob stays in the pack house, and you stay in the cottage with us." Bella didn't look like she was willing to budge on that one. Renesmee made a face.

"Don't you think that's a little absurd?" She said flatly. Her mother just gave her a look that left no room for negotiation.

"For the sake of all of our sanity, and out of respect for your father and I, I think you can live separately for a couple days."

Renesmee clearly didn't like it, but she wasn't going to argue, Jacob noted with relief. "Well, we weren't planning on staying together anyway," she muttered.

"What else?" Jacob jumped in, eager to show Bella and Edward that he was on the same page as them. He knew Renesmee might not like it, but he figured it could only help the situation if he sucked up to her parents a little bit.

Edward pursed his lips. "I'd like for you both to meet separately with Carlisle, so he can give you a full physical examination. We need to know if there are any potential complications or difficulties with regards to your… physical relationship." He looked pained as he spat out the last couple words. In fact, none of them looked particularly comfortable to be discussing the subject. But Jacob knew Edward had a point, and he wanted to make sure Renesmee was healthy and safe as much as her father did.

"It's fine with me, as long as it's fine with Nessie," He said, casting her a quick look. She nodded pleasantly enough.

"It's probably a good idea. Awkward, but a good idea, still."

They spent a while longer hammering out the details of how Renesmee and Jacob were to conduct themselves during their visit. Renesmee was very adamant that she and Jacob would be returning to New York City as planned, and Bella and Edward accepted her demands as graciously as they could. They scheduled a weekly phone conference between all four parties, and agreed that Renesmee and Jacob would make the trip home for the weekend at least once every two months. It was decided that, from that point onward, they would all operate on a system of full disclosure, to help avoid any further emotional catastrophes. Outside of the details of their physical relationship, which would of course remain private.

When, at last, the atmosphere had cleared and everybody was beginning to relax, Edward stood, came around the desk, and opened his arms to his daughter. After a moment of hesitation, Renesmee leapt to her feet and flew into her father's embrace, burying her face in the pale skin between his neck and shoulder. Jacob averted his eyes to give them their private moment. "Thank you, Daddy," he heard Renesmee whisper before she let go of her father.

Edward turned to Jacob then, and Jacob extended his hand to the vampire. Edward took it, and to Jacob's surprise, pulled him into an embrace as well. Jacob just stood there for a moment before awkwardly patting the vampire on his hard back. "Um… thanks, Edward, for being cool. Eventually." Edward surprised him yet again by chuckling softly.

"Don't let us down," He said. It didn't sound as much like a threat as Jacob would have expected. He nodded soberly.

"I won't."

Jacob gave an internal sigh of relief as he and Renesmee started for the door. She moved as close to him as was appropriate and slid her hand discreetly into his. It hit Jacob suddenly that they were home-free: No more vampires to worry about, no angry dads or murderous moms. Their relationship was out in the open, and they were going to be okay. And, baring any disasters when they met with Carlisle, they'd be free to have a healthy physical relationship as well. Jacob made a mental note to ask Renesmee's grandfather about doctor-patient confidentiality… he didn't think it would be good if Bella and Edward found out about their little biting adventure, but it probably needed to be discussed.

"She did _WHAT?" _Edward shrieked from behind the closed office door. Jacob flinched. Renesmee's hand was now gripping his with a force that would have been painful, were he not a three-hundred pound shapeshifter.

"What did you think?" She hissed as they stopped in their tracks. Jacob gave her a sheepish smile.

"I love you?" Renesmee groaned.

"I could kill you, Jacob Black."

Edward was still raging on the other side of the door. "Renesmee Carlie Cullen, you get back in here _this minute_."

Jacob sighed as Renesmee glared accusingly at him before heading back into the office. It was going to be a _very_ long weekend.

**End Part I.**

**In Part II of "In Search of The Sun:**

_NYU'S newest student… dream interpretation… Imprinting… New friends & old enemies… and more!_

Thanks for reading! Please review!


	26. Give Thanks

**Author's Note: **This marks the start of Part II of 'In Search of the Sun'. This part will focus a lot more on the people around Jacob and Renesmee (particularly the Pack), as well as the growth of their relationship now that everything's out in the open. It's gonna be fun =D

And because everybody was nice and patient while I disappeared for a week and a half over the holidays, I'm posting this super-long chapter today. Thanks for bearing with me!

As always, I appreciate any and all feedback, and I will always respond to signed reviews. So please leave your comments using that little link at the bottom of the page! You can do it… I know you can.

Thanks so much for reading, and ENJOY!

~Crit.

**Part II**

**Chapter 26: Give Thanks**

Thanksgiving dinner in a household full of vampires and Quileute tribespeople who turn into giant wolves is an interesting affair. Interesting in that it doesn't really exist, not in the traditional way. When she and Jasper returned from their extended stay in the city on Sunday morning, Alice had tried to convince the 'eaters' to at least let her throw some sort of bash, at which they could have a nicely decorated tables and color-coordinated foodstuffs. But after Leah made some snide (yet well-deserved) comment about being thankful her entire race hadn't yet been extinguished, the vampiric party planner backed off and organized a family hunt instead.

For her part, Renesmee was happy to let her family go run in the woods for a while. She decided that, while they obviously would not be participating in the holiday, the pack still needed to eat, and she would eat with them. This was due, in part, to the fact that she wanted to prove to them that she had gotten better at eating human food. Leah in particular had always been very vocal about her disgust with Renesmee's typical liquid diet. She knew it was silly, but she wanted to show Leah that she could fit in with them in all aspects of life, not just some.

It was important to her that she win some more favor with Jacob's Beta. Since Jacob's declaration that he would give up the pack to be with her, Renesmee had been determined to integrate herself more fully into his wolf family. She hoped that, through her actions, he would see that she considered them as important to her as her own relatives, and that she would never expect him to make a choice between them and her. Seth was already like her own flesh and blood, and Embry had always been friendly and open with her as well. But Leah continued to be prickly. Renesmee knew that in reality, it was nothing to do with her, but she figured she would have to be the one to attempt to kindle a friendship with the other woman; Leah clearly wasn't interested in doing the work herself.

And that was how she ended up in the kitchen of the Pack house on Sunday afternoon, up to her elbows in steaks and marinade, meticulously following Esme's cooking instructions. She'd decided upon steak, figuring it was far enough away from the traditional Thanksgiving fare that nobody would think she was trying to celebrate a holiday they all objected to for very valid reasons. That, and it was something she could handle swallowing, and she had a bit of practice making it. Esme had included instructions for Garlic mashed potatoes, which Renesmee knew would make the wolves laugh. She had a premonition of Seth chasing Emmett around the yard, trying to ward him off with garlic breath. Combined with a gigantic salad, she figured the spread would impress.

She was turning the raw meat over in the shallow baking dish full of sauce and spices when she felt a familiar presence approaching her from behind. She couldn't explain how she always knew when Jacob was approaching; he could be perfectly silent when he wanted to. She just knew. As he got closer, she breathed in deeply and realized with a smile that she could smell him beneath the scent of the food all around her. She closed her eyes and inhaled. Jacob smelled like cedar wood and wet earth warming in the sun, as well as shampoo and detergent and something musky and masculine that Renesmee assumed was just _him_. All the wolves smelled strongly to her, but Jacob was by far the best.

She relaxed backwards into him as his arms snaked around her waist, pretending that she was still focusing on the food. This was one of her favorite games that they played at home: one of them would be cooking, and the other would sneak up from behind and see how long it took to distract them from their work. Jacob was easy to get. One light drag of her fingernails across his chest and he'd have her on the floor. She was a little bit more disciplined.

This time, she knew they couldn't play out the scene the usual way, so she simply pretended he wasn't there. Jacob knew what she was doing, and set about sliding his hands slowly upwards, until his palms were resting against her ribs, just below her breasts. Renesmee didn't give in; she grabbed another steak, plopped it into the marinade, turned it, placed it on the plate beside her. After a few repetitions of this process, Jacob tightened his grip slightly and growled in her ear. She couldn't help it… her resolve cracked, and she laughed and turned her head to look at him over her shoulder.

"Did you need something?" She asked, straightening her face into what she hoped was an impassive expression. Jacob leaned in again and nipped her earlobe lightly before pulling back. Renesmee chuckled. "Use your words, Jake."

"Why are you doing this to me?" He said in a low, seductive voice. "You know I can't resist you when you're making me food."

"Ha! That's _your_ problem, buddy," she said, turning back to the steaks. "I'm just trying to provide for the family. I assure you, the only person here who's attempting to be sexy is you."

"So I'm sexy, am I?" Renesmee had to laugh again at the note of satisfaction in his voice.

"I said you were trying to be sexy, not that you were succeeding." With another, more vehement growl, Jacob spun her around and pressed her back into the counter, bringing his face down to meet hers. Suddenly, she felt a lot less like teasing him. Giving in, she closed the distance between their lips, letting herself go limp in his arms. Jacob held her up as he kissed her thoroughly, and they stayed that way until his hands began to wander.

"Jake," she murmured against his mouth, "My parents…"

"Don't care," Jacob said briefly. "Want."

She groaned reluctantly. "We promised." Jacob's hands stilled, and he leaned his forehead against hers.

"Okay. I know. I'm stopping." He was breathing more heavily than usual. Renesmee couldn't help but be pleased by the effect she had on him, even in the midst of her own frustration.

"What's up with you?" She said, trying to sound light and care-free. "You've been fine the past few days, and now with less than a day left to go, you lose it?" She flicked a finger under his chin and gave him a brief kiss before unwinding herself from his grasp. "I thought you were more patient than that."

Jacob raked a hand through his hair, making it stick up on end. It had started to get shaggy while they'd been away, so Alice had given him a trim the day before. It was everything Renesmee could do not to swoon as he unintentionally messed it up. He looked good enough to eat. "So did I," Jacob admitted, looking irritated with himself. "I don't know, maybe it's because I've been in wolf form so much since we've been here. My instincts are closer to the surface or something." He shrugged and leaned back against the counter. "Sorry for attacking you. I didn't mean to when I came in here."

"Hey, I'm only sorry we had to stop," Renesmee said, going back to her cooking just so she'd have somewhere to put her hands other than on Jacob. "I hope you'll do it again, once we're back home."

Jacob wore a scowl on his face, which Renesmee couldn't think of a reason for until he said, "That might not be the best idea, considering we'll have Embry, Seth and Leah with us, and the kitchen is in the middle of the loft." She groaned loudly.

"How long are they staying again?" Jacob laughed humorlessly.

"Too long." Renesmee moved to the stove and took the lid off of the potatoes that she'd boiled earlier. She picked up the pot and carried it to where Jacob was standing, setting it down in front of him, and handed him the potato masher.

"Here," she said, "Vent some frustration."

As predicted, the garlic-and-vampire jokes were abundant at dinner. Between the five of them at the table, they managed to consume everything Renesmee had made: twelve good-sized steaks, two huge serving bowls of salad , and an entire sack of potatoes, mashed and blended with enough garlic to knock Dracula on his bottom. Jacob ate his food with the usual amount of gusto, and Embry and Seth spent most of the meal making noises that were borderline inappropriate. Even Leah complimented Renesmee on her cooking, and she seemed to be sincere. All in all, it was a success.

After dinner the boys, led by Jacob, got up and offered to clean the kitchen, leaving Renesmee and Leah to sit awkwardly with each other. Leah tried to get up and load this dishwasher, but her brother and Jacob simply pushed her back out of the kitchen and into the living room.

"We're taking care of the ladies," Seth declared proudly. "It's what we do."

Leah rolled her eyes. "Since when?" She muttered, flopping onto the couch with a frown. She wasn't the type who liked to be stuck without something to do, particularly in a situation where she had to be social.

"So," Renesmee said as she sat down opposite Leah in one of the oversized armchairs, "You all packed for New York yet?" Leah stared back at her with one eyebrow raised.

"What do I look like, one of your Aunts?" She replied. It wasn't malicious, exactly, but it wasn't friendly either. "No, I'm not packed. I'm planning on throwing my stuff in a bag later tonight, after my run."

Renesmee knew that Leah had taken up running a few years back. She didn't really understand why the other woman liked to run in human form, when she could go so much faster as a wolf, but then again she didn't understand most things about Leah. "How's the running going?" She asked, trying to sound upbeat without being perky. Leah _hated_ perky.

"Good," Leah said, nodded almost to herself. "I'm not as fast as I'd like to be yet. Still about half of my wolf-speed. I'd like to get up to two thirds, if not three quarters. But my endurance is better. Almost as good as when I go canine… I don't ever really _have_ to stop anymore. So that's something." She'd sort of zoned out while she was cataloguing her skills, and she snapped back to reality quickly with a shake of her head. "Anyway." Renesmee searched for something else to say.

"Um, if you want to, you can use my swipe card for the NYU gym while you're in town. I don't ever use it. They've got a good track." Leah fixed her with a look that was a little bit suspicious, and then her eyebrows returned to a normal, relaxed position.

"Thanks, Nessie," She said with what seemed like a bit of effort. "That's… thoughtful."

"Oh," Renesmee replied dumbly. "It's nothing."

"I mean, I'll probably just run in the park, but anyway."

Renesmee clenched her jaw and attempted a smile. Why was Leah so difficult? Did she have to be contrary to everything that was said? "Whatever you like," she said, trying to stay pleasant. She decided to change the subject. "So, I figured you'd stay in the extra bedroom. It's smaller, so I thought the boys could have Jake's room and you could have your own."

"And I guess Jacob stays with you?" Leah fixed her with an unreadable look. Renesmee suddenly felt very regretful that she'd chosen the subject of sleeping arrangements.

"Um, that's what we thought we'd do. Of course, if it makes anybody uncomfortable…" Leah rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry about that. We'll deal." she said, and then she brought a hand to the bridge of her nose and rubbed it as though she was experiencing a really bad headache. "Look, Nessie, I want you to know that I think it's good you and Jacob are finally together. If I act like I have a problem with it or… whatever… it's not because I don't like you, or anything like that. I can't really explain, just... try not to take it personally if I'm crusty about it, okay?" Aside from the awkward pauses, the entire speech was spat out at top speed.

"I never take it personally when you're crusty," Renesmee replied before she could stop herself. When she realized she'd said it out loud, she felt her eyes go round, and her hand flew up to her mouth. Leah also looked surprised, but then she did something unexpected: she laughed.

"That's the first really genuine thing you've said to me all night," she said flatly, still chuckling a bit. "Keep it up, okay?"

Renesmee could do nothing but chuckle herself and shake her head. "All right," she said, just as the boys bounded back into the room to attack them both with dishpan-hands.

They hung out for another couple hours before everybody began to go their separate ways for the night. Renesmee kissed Jacob goodnight on the porch, thinking it best to do so there, instead of letting him walk her to the cottage and having her parents witness the scene. She strolled back towards her mother and father's house at human speed, enjoying the chilly November air and the cool, clean light of the almost-full moon.

She was about halfway there when she heard a faint, far-off pounding noise to her left. It was familiar, non-threatening, and Renesmee was curious. She crouched low to the ground, allowing her senses to take over, and looked in the direction of the sound. Once her eyes adjusted, she found the source easily.

It was Leah, running along the perimeter. She was far enough off that she probably wouldn't sense Renesmee's presence, occupied as she was with her physical activity. Renesmee opened her ears to their fullest capability and realized that she could hear Leah's breaths, coming out in short, harsh bursts as her trainers pounded against the packed dirt pathway along the fence.

Renesmee followed her with her eyes. The cold didn't affect Leah; she was wearing black shorts and a light long-sleeved t-shirt. The bright white of her trainers stood out against the surrounding darkness of the grounds. Her long, slender legs scissored past each other in a sort of movement that was both graceful and vicious at the same time. Her face was a pained grimace, but there was a ghost of a smile laying beneath it, something Renesmee hadn't ever really seen before. Her expression was an equal combination of turmoil and peace, and Renesmee was struck suddenly by her furious and unexpected beauty.

Slowly, silently, she rose from her crouch and tore her eyes away from Leah, ashamed. She felt like she'd just witnessed something very private and very personal, and as she went back to her parents' house, her mind was full of questions yet to be answered.

oooOOOooo

The next day, Jacob brought Embry's car around to the cottage in the morning so that they could load Renesmee's suitcase in, as well as some extra things she wanted to bring back to the city. She and Jacob would be taking Embry's practical '21 Prius back to the city, while the rest of the pack drove in Leah's '19 Volkswagon Eos. Jacob had tried valiantly to commandeer his beta's convertible, but Leah insisted she'd rather die in a fire than have him and Renesmee infect her baby with their 'nauseating coupling'. Renesmee, as previously ordered, did not take it personally.

After bidding a prolonged and tearful goodbye to her parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, they packed themselves into the car and, followed by the rest of the pack, drove toward the compound gates and hit the road.

They lost Leah about forty minutes into the drive. The GPS in Embry's car was connected remotely to hers, and she buzzed in as she flew past them, saying they'd better take up the slack later in the journey, because she'd be pissed if she had to wait on the other end. Jacob told her which finger he was holding up and then informed her that he'd be turning off the two-way. The convertible whizzed out of sight after that, and Jacob and Renesmee were truly alone for the first time in three and a half days.

Renesmee wished her first impulse upon realizing they were by themselves again was to make Jacob pull the car over and have her way with him, but she was too distracted. She couldn't stop thinking about Leah. She'd never spent much time with the other woman, outside of when the entire pack was hanging out, and in those situations Leah usually removed herself either physically or mentally from the group, throwing in a general barb or sarcastic remark when appropriate. She knew there was more to her than that. She could see it, sometimes, but Leah never shared it with her.

And then, last night… Leah had almost been open with her, steps away from friendly, if only for half a second. Renesmee felt like something had changed in her relationship with Jacob's beta, but she was still so far away from understanding that she felt like she'd never get there.

It was clear that she was unhappy. What Renesmee couldn't figure out was, why? She was surrounded constantly by two (sometimes three) of the most wonderful people Renesmee knew. And despite the mild animosity between her and the Cullens, she could tell that Leah didn't actually mind being around the vampires. Was she still just resentful about being taken away from her home? The only thing she'd left back in Forks, as far as Renesmee knew, was her mother. Sue was happily married to her Grandpa Charlie, and they even visited the wolves and the Cullens on occasion. The only other family Leah had, her brother, was with her all the time. That couldn't possibly be it.

One thing was for sure: the boys loved her. Sure, they joked about her unfriendly personality, and sometimes acted like she was a total swamp-witch, but Renesmee could see the respect and affection they all carried for her. Especially Jacob. And, if she was honest, it bothered her. Not because she was jealous, but because she wanted to be in on the big mystery. There was something going on with Leah, and she wanted to know what it was.

Jacob had taken her hand, and she looked down at their joined fingers with a slight frown. "What is it?" He asked, his eyes very obviously not on the road. Renesmee gave him a slight smile and nodded her head towards the windshield. He took the hint and started watching where he was going again, but he didn't let up. "You've been sitting there with this not-exactly-happy look on your face, like you're thinking about that time you tried scrambled eggs again."

Renesmee shook her head, half laughing and half cringing at said memory. "No. Although it's sort of the same level of discomfort."

"Oh. Yikes." Jacob made a sympathetic face. "What?"

She sighed. "Jake, why is Leah so unpleasant all the time? I always thought she didn't like me because of the whole vampire thing, but I'm starting to think now that maybe I've got it wrong. I know there's something I'm not getting. And it's been bugging me."

Jacob kept his eyes on the road, although now Renesmee got the feeling it was because he didn't want top look her in the eye. "I'm not really sure it's a story I have the right to tell," he said quietly. Renesmee frowned.

"I don't want to butt in if it's none of my business. But maybe if I understood her better, I'd know what _not_ to do to keep her happy. Or at least, not so miserable with me all the time." She shook her head. "I mean, I know she has a good time with you guys, sometimes. But she just never wants to be around me."

"It's not you, Nessie." Jacob squeezed her hand. "It's really not."

"I know… she told me. But it only made me more confused." Jacob _did_ look at her, then.

"She told you? What did she tell you, exactly?" That answered that question… Renesmee had been wondering if Leah had said the things she did the previous night because Jacob had ordered her to be nice. She was actually really pleased that wasn't the case. She told him what Leah had said, verbatim, and Jacob shook his head. "Leah," he muttered fondly, a soft smile on his face. He shook it off and turned to her. "Nessie, you might not know how big of a deal it was for her to say those things, but trust me, it's big. She's a really proud person, and for her that sort of constitutes a grand gesture."

"So you really didn't tell her to make nice with me?"

"No." Jacob sounded surprised. "Go figure." He reached forward and switched off the radio. "Okay… I'm going to fill you in on something. Leah might have a bit of a problem with me telling you, but you're a part of this pack, and we all know everything about each other. Maybe if you know a bit about Leah's life, you'll be able to understand her better." He paused. "Do you remember Sam? Outside of us talking about him, I mean."

Renesmee nodded. Sam was the leader of the other pack, the one that stayed in La Push. The pack that stopped phasing when her family left. "Of course I do."

"Okay, and do you remember his wife, Emily?"

That was a bit harder, but after a few minutes of wracking her brain, Renesmee came up with a mental picture of the man she knew as Sam holding a beautiful woman with a scarred face. They were laughing at each other, both of their eyes crinkling at the corners, and it was obvious they were deeply in love. "Yeah, I remember her too."

Jacob nodded. "Well, Sam and Emily are imprinted."

"Oh." Renesmee was startled. She hadn't realized she knew any other imprinted couples. She knew about Jacob's friend Quil and his girlfriend Claire, but other than that the only thing she knew was that nobody else in Jacob's pack had imprinted. Now she thought back on all the memories she could rustle up of Sam and Emily, and found that in each one their love for each other seemed clear and strong and unbending. "That's… kind of nice," she said wistfully.

"Yeah, well… kind of nice if you're Sam and Emily, anyway," Jacob said. Renesmee examined him in profile as he watched the road studiously. He looked upset.

"What do you mean?" She asked cautiously.

"Well, the thing is… you can't control when you imprint. It happens the first time you lay eyes on your soulmate, and you can't avoid it, and you don't know who it is until you _know_. And even if you're with someone else at the time… it won't matter, because it's so much stronger than anything, any other kind of love."

"Jake, what does any of this have to do with Leah?" Renesmee asked, a bit impatiently.

"It has to do with Leah because Leah was dating Sam when he met Emily. They were in love… they really cared about each other, they had a whole future planned. And then she introduced Sam to her cousin—Emily—and he imprinted and… that was that." He glowered at the windshield as Renesmee sat there, gawking at him.

"So Sam just… left her?" She said when she finally found her voice again. Jacob shrugged.

"He didn't have a choice, Nessie. Emily is his imprint. She's his whole world. There was nothing he could do. He felt awful for hurting Leah, but really… he couldn't have done things any differently."

Renesmee was having trouble processing this information. Sam's imprint had done this horrible thing to Leah. All of the grief and misery she must have felt, brought on by imprinting. No wonder she acted like she hated Renesmee: Jacob had imprinted on her. Leah probably felt like she had taken away his freedom of choice, his independence, his liberty.

Maybe that was what she _had _done.

She felt sick. She wanted to lean towards Jacob for strength, but with a wave of horror she realized that it was possible he only wanted her because she was his imprint. Without that, maybe he'd be repulsed by her even trying to touch him. He might not even be willing to get in the same car as her. She leaned towards the window, putting her forehead against the cool glass. She had never vomited in her entire life, but she was beginning to think now might be the time to start.

Jacob was talking to her, she realized. "Nessie? Are you okay?" She couldn't answer him; she didn't trust her own voice. "Nessie?" Jacob cursed quietly and pulled the car off onto the shoulder of the road. He quickly undid his seatbelt and was leaning over her in record time. "Shit… sweetheart, you're _really_ pale… I'm calling Carlisle." She reached over and grabbed his cell phone from him before he could hit send.

"Don't do that," she said. He voice sounded tinny and detached in her own ears. "I'm not sick." Jacob was watching her with terrified eyes.

"What is it, then?"

She had two voices battling for dominance inside her head. One was saying that Leah was right: Jacob was brainwashed, he didn't really love her, didn't really care about her, it was all some zombie-imprint-voodoo. The other was screaming that she was making a huge mistake: this was Jacob, _her_ Jacob. She knew him, and she knew that if he said he loved her, he really did love her, and she was just being ridiculous if she thought otherwise.

Except that all those things, her history with Jacob, how he'd always been there for her, always taken care of her, how he seemed to know her better than anyone on the planet… it could all be explained by the zombie-voodoo that was imprinting. Another wave of nausea hit her, and she had to turn her head away. She couldn't look at Jacob right now.

"Nessie, please…" she was dimly aware of Jacob begging her. "Please let me call your family. I'm worried. This isn't normal…"

"J-Jake," she said, almost unable to get his name past the lump in her throat. "What if she's right?"

Jacob just stared at her, looking totally confused. Of course. Of course he wouldn't get it, Renesmee realized… he couldn't. His imprint wouldn't let him think of it that way. "What if who's right?" He asked, bewildered. Renesmee squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn't bear to see the realization come into his eyes.

"Leah. I know why she's always been so weird towards me. She thinks the imprint is a bad thing, that it's got total control over you. It ruined her life, and Sam's, and I'll bet she thinks it wrecked your chances of ever having any sort of freedom to live your own life." She took a breath that was more like a gasp. Hysteria was about to set in… she could feel it, and it didn't felt good. "She'd have a point, you know. You're supposed to destroy people like me and my family. And yet, for some reason, you love me unconditionally? Doesn't that seem a bit _odd_ to you?" She looked back over at Jacob. He looked horrified.

"You can't be serious," he said slowly. When Renesmee said nothing in response, his face crumpled into the saddest look she'd ever seen. "Oh, Nessie… no…" She didn't know how he managed it, but somehow he'd lifted her entire body up, and then he was in her seat with her in his lap. She squirmed slightly to try and get free, but his arms were locked around her, and even she didn't have the strength to break through their circle. "No, Sweetheart. That's not how it works…"

"How do you know?" She cried, pushing against his chest. She was trapped, trapped by someone who was trapped. The ugly voice was winning out. "You can't know… everything you've told me, it all makes it sound like you have no choice at all. If that's how it works, how do you know it's not just the imprint making you feel that way?"

Jacob sighed, and she felt his chest heave against her. She was sure it would break her heart. "I used to wonder about that, sometimes," he admitted after a long pause. Renesmee stilled. Was he coming around to seeing her point? The thought of it didn't exactly make her happy. "Even though everything the elders told us points to imprinting as a positive, it's impossible _not_ to wonder about it. Especially when the circumstances are as crazy as with you and me." Renesmee felt one of Jacob's hands snake its way into her hair. He gripped the base of her skull in one big palm and tilted her head gently upwards so that she was forced to look at him or close her eyes. She kept them open. "But that's not how it is, honey. I swear."

"How do you know?" she asked, her voice an unsteady whisper. Jacob gave her a small smile.

"Because when Sam stopped phasing, his imprint faded."

Renesmee was getting awfully tired of having the rug pulled out from under her. "What do you mean? Is that even possible?" Jacob nodded.

"We didn't know it, either. It happened a long time ago, after your family first moved away from Forks. All the wolves, both packs, stopped phasing. With the exception of me, obviously."

"Right… that's why your pack stays with my family," she said. That was obvious… she already knew that. "But Sam's imprint…"

"Gone." Jacob gave her a small smile. "As soon as he stopped being able to phase, his imprint on Emily just sort of… dissolved. The pull that we feel, the need… it was gone, he wasn't influenced by it anymore. It went away when the wolf did."

Renesmee shook her head. "That doesn't prove anything."

"Will you hold on? I'm not done." If she didn't know that he knew better, Renesmee would have sworn Jacob was trying not to smile. "What I'm trying to say is, it didn't matter. Sam didn't feel the pull of the imprint anymore, but he still felt every bit of his love for Emily. None of that changed. They're still together, and they're still just as in love with each other as they day they first accepted the imprint. And so are Quil and Claire, and Paul and my sister. None of the imprinted couples from the other pack stopped loving each other when their imprints disappeared."

"Oh." Renesmee had a sinking feeling that she was about to feel very foolish, very soon. Jacob, to his credit, didn't patronize her or laugh about it. He seemed to recognize the fragility of her current state, so he just leaned in a placed a lingering kiss on her forehead.

"Our imprints aren't an exact science… nobody can really say what exactly they do. But what I think, and what most of us think, in fact, is that they don't _create _a love for someone. That's not possible… you can't put love where it doesn't belong. You can try, but it'll never feel real. I think the imprint is meant to show us the person who we're _really_ supposed to be with. There's something connected with the wolf gene that acts like a magnet, guiding us to our mate, and it goes so far as to affect the world around us, shift and mold it so that the pathway to the person we're meant to be with is clear for us. I think that's why I cared so deeply for your mom, before you were even born. It's why my dad and your grandpa Charlie met and became friends, why your mother ever even met me. And, as much as it _sucks_ to think about, it's why Sam and Leah were involved in the first place… so that Sam would one day meet Emily and recognize his soulmate. The person that, even after his imprint has long since disappeared, he knows he's meant to be with."

"Oh, Jake…" Renesmee was suddenly aware that she was crying. "I'm sorry. I'm not used to this, all these feelings are so new, and I was too busy loving you to even think about… and when you told me Leah's story, my brain just went in a crazy direction, and I…" Jacob stopped her mad, incoherent rush of dialogue by bringing his face to hers and kissing her softly on the lips.

"Sweetheart, don't be sorry," he said, wiping gently at her damp cheeks. "And don't cry. It's my fault. I should have explained better. And I shouldn't have told you that story without being sure you got it. Look at me." She did as he asked willingly. Jacob's eyes were warm and reassuring. "Renesmee, I love you. _I_ love _you_. That's not an imprinting thing, it's just two people, one in love with the other. They also happen to be imprinted. But that isn't the point. I _love_ you. If I have to be away from your family starting today and never phase again in order to prove that to you, I will." He ran one finger all the way down the side of her face from her hairline to her chin. "Get it?"

"Got it." Renesmee sniffled, such a silly, human thing to do. She felt ridiculous and undignified. And Jacob loved her. And that was okay. "Please don't stop phasing. You don't have to prove a thing. I understand. I'll try to get my head around it."

Jacob took the aforementioned head between both his palms and shook it very gentle from side to side. "You'd better. It's pretty much my favorite head, but sometimes I think maybe it's a bit too hard."

Renesmee gave him a glare, but clearly Jacob recognized it as the type that didn't mean any real sort of trouble, because all he did in response was kiss her. "Jake," she said when he pulled back, "Think you can let me go now? We really need to not be on the shoulder of the highway." Jacob lifted her slightly and slid out from under her, climbing back into the driver's seat. Renesmee shook her head and smiled; for a big guy, he sure did move quickly. Wordlessly, he put the car back into gear and steering onto the road with his left hand on the wheel. He put his right hand, palm up, on the space between the seats. Renesmee took it in hers, and they spent the rest of the drive in exhausted but relieved silence, holding hands the entire way.

_**In the Next Chapter: **_

_Renesmee looked up at Jacob, her eyes pleading. "He probably just wants to talk, Jake," she said, trying to sooth him. She clearly intended to let the little twerp in. Jacob tried to keep his expression as neutral as possible. It didn't fool her. She took his hands in hers. "Please don't be upset, and don't do anything crazy, okay? He's my friend. We left things in an awful state… I owe him at least an explanation."_


	27. Leah Clearwater's Big Day

**Author's Note: **A big thank-you to everybody who reviewed the last chapter! From what I read, a couple of your are bound to be pleased with this one =)

I'm still planning to make good on my promise of updates twice a week, but I'm currently working close to a fifty-hour week, so if I miss one I apologize in advance. Right now, I still anticipate being able to make it, but the next couple weeks might prove to be a lot bigger than me. We'll see.

Enjoy!

~Crit.

**Chapter 27:** **Leah Clearwater's Big Day**

Sure enough, Leah was waiting for them when they pulled up to the building, arms crossed over her chest, perched rigidly on the edge of her suitcase. As Jacob pulled the Prius to a stop in front of the building, she began to tap her foot impatiently against the frosty pavement.

"This should be fun," he said to Renesmee. She shook her head.

"Be nice," she said firmly. Jacob laughed a bit at that… Renesmee was so determined that things would change now that she understood a bit about why Leah acted the way she did. He wondered how long that positive attitude would last. He was banking on 'not very'.

Jacob got out of the car and went around to open Renesmee's door. He heard Leah make a disdainful noise and mutter something about chivalry. Once they'd gotten their bags from the trunk, Jacob strolled over to his Beta at a leisurely pace and came to a stop in front of her. She glared up at him. "Hey Lee-Lee," He said, pulling out the old nickname just for the fun of annoying her, "Did you have a nice drive?"

"Evidently _you_ did," she huffed, getting to her feet and picking up her suitcase. "Took you long enough. I've been sitting here in the freezing cold waiting for you for almost forty-five minutes."

Jacob raised an eyebrow and looked pointedly at her light sweater. "I'm sure you're frostbitten the whole way through," he quipped, voice dripping with sarcasm. Renesmee came up to his side with her bags.

"Sorry, Leah," she said, punctuating it with a jab of her elbow into Jacob's ribcage. "We ran into a bit of traffic after you passed us."

"I'm sure," Leah said, shaking her head at Renesmee's obvious excuse. Jacob wondered how he could have ever suspected her of lying to him; she was really terrible at it.

"Why don't we go up with our things while Jake pulls the car around back?" She said to Leah, shifting her suitcase to her other hand and offering to take the other girl's for her. Leah clung to the handle of her own bag like it was her favorite toy and she didn't want to share, and after a moment Renesmee pulled her hand back and took one of Jacob's bags instead. "Where are the guys?" She asked suddenly, looking around. Leah rolled her eyes.

"They went for pizza."

"Oh. Well, I guess we can call them and let them know we're back," Renesmee said, starting for the door. "Jake? Help us into the elevator with the rest of these bags?"

Jacob loaded the elevator and then went to park the car. When he got back around the building, Embry and Seth were just rounding the corner, each munching on a huge slice of pizza.

"Jake!" Seth shouted in spite of his full mouth. "Where've you guys been?" He and Embry jogged quickly to meet him.

"Leah's _pissed_," Embry added. "She thinks you guys were getting it on at the side of the highway." He laughed, and then went serious. "You weren't were you? I just cleaned that car…"

"Enough, you guys," Jacob said, feeling a major headache coming on. He could handle the teasing, but he didn't know how much Renesmee was willing to put up with. "None of that stuff around Nessie, okay?"

"Nessie's not here," Seth pointed out, and Jacob gave him a hard look. The youngest member of the pack just laughed in response. "Aw, lighten up, Jake. You know we're not gonna bug her _too_ much."

"I think you and I have different definitions of 'too much', Seth," Jacob said. "Come on… let's go inside. I'm sure the girls could use a bit of a distraction from each other." Seth practically howled with laughter at that.

"I can't believe you left your imprint alone with my sister," he said as they went through the doors into the foyer. "What happened to your brain?"

"I do not know," Jacob said, shaking his head. The elevator arrived, and they rode up to the loft.

"This place is pretty swanky, huh?" Embry said, checking himself out in the mirrored walls.

"Do you really expect anything less from our wealthy benefactors?" Seth replied, leaning in to look at his reflection and picking at his hairstyle. In spite of his attempt to be serious, Jacob found himself chuckling along with them. It was good to have family around again.

Leah was already upstairs in the extra bedroom when they came in the front door, probably avoiding awkward conversation with Renesmee, who welcomed the wolves in with hugs and a big smile. The loft was inspected with typical noisiness and lack of tact. Jacob showed the two men to his room—which, for the next week, was to be _their_ room—and then took the opportunity to find Renesmee and get her alone for a few moments.

She was in her own bedroom, putting things away from her suitcase, and she looked up with a start as Jacob came in through the open door and shut it behind himself.

"Hey," she said, a bit sheepishly, looking down as she folded a soft-looking shirt. Jacob knew she was still feeling embarrassed about breaking down in the car, and he felt terrible about it. He crossed the room in three huge steps and put his arms all the way around her.

"Hey yourself," He said as he bent down and buried his face in her hair. "Oh man, am I glad we're home." Renesmee made an appreciative noise.

"Me too," she said, and Jacob felt her relax into his embrace. "It's weird, but it only took me three months to start thinking of this as home." She looked up at him. "You know what I mean?" Jacob nodded.

"Yeah, I get it." He squeezed her a bit harder. "You okay?"

Renesmee was silent for a moment before replying. "Yeah. I'm fine. I'm really sorry I flipped out, Jake."

He kissed her forehead and then looked straight into her eyes. "Don't be. I know why you did. When I think about it, I'm actually surprised it took as long as it did. All of that could have been avoided if I'd just used my brain and realized that you don't know everything I do about imprinting. I should have sat you down and talked it out with you right at the start. It's just that you're so smart, Nessie, and sometimes it's hard for me to remember that there are things you don't know."

She made a doubtful, chastising sound. "Jacob, there's plenty I don't know. This whole relationship thing, for example… even without the imprinting, it's pretty foreign territory to me. The closest I've ever come before now was going on a couple dates in college. And those guys held about as much interest for me as watching paint dry. Not the same thing at all." She pulled back a little and placed her hands on his chest, spreading her fingers wide as if to touch as much surface area as possible at one time. Jacob felt an irresistible ripple of heat run through him, starting from where her hands lay. "I have absolutely no frame of reference for the way I feel about you. It's like being on fire all the time, and yet never being able to get warm enough. Like my skin actually _itches_ when I'm not near you. And when I _am_ near you, I can't ever get close enough to you to feel like I've got enough of you. I never have enough of you. Even when I have all of you, I still want more."

Jacob was too stunned to do anything but stand there holding her until he found his voice again. It was easily the most passionate thing anyone had ever said about him, and the strength of her emotions knocked his breath out of his body. "I think that's supposed to be a good thing," He said when he'd recovered, accompanying the statement with a shaky sort of laugh. "I don't want to get enough of you. I want to keep wanting you. I love wanting you."

Renesmee's hands darted upwards and, hooking her fingers into his hair, she tugged his head down so that his face was at the same level as her own. "If you want me," she began, but Jacob didn't let her finish. He tackled her lips at the same time he tackled her body, taking them both down with a thud onto the carpet, where they stayed longer than was strictly polite for people with houseguests.

oooOOOooo

Leah and Seth had made themselves at home in the loft's main room. Seth was sprawled across one of the plush couches, flipping idly through the thousands of viewing options on the sleek flat screen, with Leah sitting cross-legged on the rug, thumbing through one of Renesmee's schoolbooks. Embry was nowhere to be seen; Jacob figured he was probably out exploring. He watched his two pack mates, brother and sister, as they spent a quiet moment. Seth was just the same as always, chipper and easy-going. Leah seemed surprisingly relaxed.

Renesmee came down the stairs then. She, too, was watching the pack, and Jacob in turn took in the sight of her looking fondly at his family. She must have felt his eyes on her, because she looked over in the direction of the kitchen, where he was standing, and their eyes locked. She beamed at him, and Jacob felt his chest constrict. Would he ever get used to this feeling? He hoped not.

"What're you cooking?" she said as she sidled over to him. Jacob shot her his best attempt at a mysterious look, standing in front of the counter to hide his workspace. She just laughed at him.

"Okay," he said, throwing his hands up in defeat, "It's frozen pizza."

Another laugh, coupled with a raised eyebrow. "My man, the gourmet chef." Jacob loved it when she was sarcastic. It made him want to tackle her to the ground, right there in the kitchen, and give a repeat performance of the scene they'd played out earlier, upstairs. If the Clearwaters hadn't been fifteen feet away, he would have. He settled for a quick peck on the lips.

There was a knock at the door. All four of them looked towards the sound. Embry had the spare key; they weren't expecting a visit from any of the Cullens, and it was broad daylight anyhow. Who could it possibly…

"Ness?" A familiar voice called out, muffled by the door. Jacob held back a snarl. It would have to be Rideau, wouldn't it? Renesmee had stiffened at the sound of his voice. "If you're in there, please open the door. I really would like to talk to you."

Renesmee looked up at Jacob, her eyes pleading. "He probably just wants to talk, Jake," she said, trying to sooth him. She clearly intended to let him in. Jacob tried to keep his expression as neutral as possible. It didn't fool her. She took his hands in hers. "Please don't be upset, and don't do anything crazy, okay? He's my friend. We left things in an awful state… I owe him at least an explanation." Jacob nodded. He didn't really trust himself around Rideau… he'd probably make some sort of regrettable mistake that would get them all into trouble. But there was no way he was leaving Nessie alone with him, not unless she specifically asked him to. He gestured at the door. Renesmee shot him a grateful look before rushing to open it.

Jacob went to stand over by Leah and Seth. Seth looked up at him warily, questioningly. Leah was watching the door with a focused, calculating look. At least he had his pack here to back him up and, if necessary, keep him in line. He heard Renesmee quietly inviting Rideau into the loft. Damn… no hope they'd get it over quickly, and in the hall, then. Jacob grimaced. He didn't like this. He kept his eyes glued to the pair by the door as Rideau entered the loft and Renesmee shut the door behind him.

There was a small but audible gasp. Jacob looked down at the spot where Leah was sitting. She had dropped the book she'd been reading into her lap, where it lay open. Her hands were stuck to the floor on both sides of her body, fingers splayed wide as if to hold her balance. She was staring at Renesmee and Rideau even more intently than Jacob had been. How completely weird, Jacob thought, looking to see if Seth had noticed his sister's behavior. He had. The younger Clearwater nudged his sister's shoulder with his toe, the only result being that Leah swayed slightly to one side and returned to her original position. No reaction. No _anything_. She just sat there, watching as Renesmee and Rideau held a quiet conversation on the other side of the room.

After a point, Rideau seemed to take notice of the three rather unmissable people, two of them complete strangers, who were currently staring at them, and he looked pointedly at Renesmee. "I'm sorry," he said in a louder tone than he'd been using (not that the wolves had had any trouble picking it up), "I didn't realize you had company."

"Oh!" Evidently, Renesmee had forgotten too. Jacob tried to ignore his irritation at that. She led the other man over to the sitting area. "I'm sorry… that was really rude of me. Rideau, these are some friends of mine and Jake's from back home. This is Seth Clearwater—"

"Hi," Seth said with a little wave.

"—and this is his sister Leah. Leah, Seth, this is Rideau Linley, a friend of mine from school."

If Leah stared any harder, she was likely to burn holes in the human, Jacob thought with no small amount of irritation. It was like she'd never seen a boy before. Rideau looked from Leah to Seth with a smile, which faltered momentarily when he took in Leah's intense expression. He recovered quickly, however. Jacob hated to admit it, but for a guy who came off so nerdy at first, Rideau was impossibly smooth. It only made him dislike the guy a little bit more.

"Nice to meet you both," he said. "I'm sorry for barging in on you… I'll just go," he turned to Renesmee. "We can talk some other time."

"No!" Everybody turned in surprise to look at Leah. Only when she realized that everybody was staring did she wipe the alarmed expression from her face. "I mean, no, don't be silly," she released a tense little laugh. "We'll just go up to Jacob's room… get out of your way. You really don't have to leave." Jacob had never heard Leah talk so fast, and she was a quick talker to begin with. He was sure his expression at the moment was very similar to Seth's. The youngest member of the pack was gaping at his sister, open-mouthed. Leah flew into a standing position and, grabbing her brother's arm in one hand and Jacob's in the other, started for the stairs, pulling them behind her.

"Wow," Jacob heard Rideau remark as they retreated, "She's a bit intense, isn't she?" Leah shoved them into Jacob's bedroom and slammed the door behind the three of them. She slumped over with her back against it, breathing heavily.

Seth was looking between Jacob and his sister, bewildered. "Leah, what the hell?" he said in a loud stage whisper. "Way to act normal around the skins!"

Leah just shook her head. She moved her lips, but no sound came out. Her skin had taken on an ashen quality, and there were tiny beads of sweat breaking out all over her brow. She was trembling, but not as though she was about to phase. This was… something else. Jacob tried to figure out why it looked so familiar. Sweating, shaking, staring, acting like a completely different person, not being able to put a sentence or even a thought together properly…

"No," he breathed, crossing the room in one step. "No way." He stared Leah dead in the eye, and she met his gaze. She looked frantic.

"Yeah way," she said quietly. "Jacob… oh my _God…_"

Jacob squeezed his eyes shut as hard as he could. This could not be happening. He hated this man, _hated_ him. Rideau had pursued _his_ Renesmee, even when she'd told him in no uncertain terms that she didn't want him to continue. Jacob had had fantasies about using the little twerp for a punching bag. And now Leah had… he groaned, unable to even finish the thought. All those times he'd selfishly wished Leah would imprint on someone, anyone, just so that he could get her bitter thoughts about Sam out of his head. Surely this was some sort of punishment for that.

Leah was still looking at him pleadingly. "I thought I understood it," she said in a voice that was almost reverent. "I thought I knew what you and all the others… but it's not that way at all. I can't believe I—I… I think I'm gonna be sick." She did look a little green.

Seth made a triumphant sort of crowing sound. "You _imprinted_?" he said gleefully, leaping onto the bed and bouncing on his knees a couple times before falling into a seated position. "Oh _man,_ this is too good! Wait until Embry gets back…"

"Shut up!" Leah waved her hands frantically at her brother. "Shut up, shut up! He'll hear you. Oh god, Jake…. What'll I do?" Jacob felt a sudden pang of sympathy as he remembered the sudden shock of first imprint. Leah, who so seldom dealt with her emotions at all, must be in utter agony. He led her to sit on the bed, beside her brother.

"Just try to relax," he said as calmly as he could. "Big deep breaths. That's good. Seth, go down and get her something to drink. Coke, Juice… anything with sugar." Seth leapt up and headed out the door. When it was closed, Leah turned her face up to Jacob's.

"I don't feel like myself anymore," she said, and then shook her head. "No, that's wrong… I feel completely myself. Like the person I'm used to being wasn't me all along." She stared longingly at the door, and then let her head fall into her hands. "How is this possible? I don't even know this person… I mean, _Reedo_? What kind of a name is Reedo?"

"R-I-D-E-A-U," Jacob recited blandly, "Like the canal."

"Oh." Leah paused thoughtfully. "That's actually kind of nice…" then she growled. "See? I would _never_ say something like that!" Jacob had to laugh.

"Evidently you would," he replied. Even if he was unimpressed with Leah's choice of imprintee, he had to admit that it was amusing to finally see the Great Leah Clearwater felled by what so many of the others had gone through.

Seth came back through the door with three glasses, a two-liter bottle of Coke and the frozen pizza, now cooked. "Here," he said, pouring a glass of soda and handing it to his sister. She took it and gulped it down gratefully.

"Thanks Seth," Leah said offhandedly. There wasn't a hint of sarcasm. Seth looked mischievously at Jacob.

"Whoa, it made her _nice_," he said. Apparently Leah could still manage her classic death glare. It only made Seth laugh more. "Don't worry, Lee… it's all good." He waggled his eyebrows at his sister. "They were _tallllllllking_ about you…" She gripped his arm.

"What do you mean? What were they saying? What did _he_ say?" Seth chuckled.

"Oh-ho, she's a goner! Relax, Lee… he asked me if you were okay. I told him that you were fine, and Renesmee said you probably just knew that they needed a little privacy to talk. I'm not sure if she's figured it out, but she might have. Then she mentioned that you and I used to live back in La Push with Jake, and he seemed really excited. He knows all about La Push and the tribe… and then Nessie asked if maybe he'd be able to have a chat with me, since Jake doesn't ever seem to want to talk to him. I told him I had plans all weekend, but that you might be able to, and that I'd ask you." Seth gave her a wide grin. "He's waiting for your annn-swer," he said in a sing-song voice. Jacob frowned. He couldn't believe Renesmee had suggested that. Or rather, he _could_ believe it… he just didn't like it. It made him feel like a grouch, his own imprint fully acknowledging that Seth was a better sport about things like that.

Leah looked confused. "What do you mean, he knows all about the tribe? Most people outside of the area don't even know we exist, with our population being so small…"

Just to show he was a good sport, Jacob piped up to explain. "Rideau's studying Anthropology, like Nessie. His specialty is Early North American History, so he knows a lot about First Nations people. When he met me it was like he'd unearthed an artifact or something. I've never felt so objectified." So much for keeping it positive.

"I'm sure that wasn't his intention," Leah said quickly. Jacob didn't like her defending him so easily, without even knowing him. "He was probably just excited at the opportunity to talk to one of us. You know how rare it is to find Quileute outside of La Push."

"Sorry Jake, but I'm with Leah on this one," Seth agreed with her. "He didn't seem to be objectifying _me_. Just seemed eager to pick my brain. That's not so bad." He clapped Leah on the back. "Have a slice, Lee, and then try to make yourself look a bit less… totally insane. You'll probably want to go down there and catch him before he leaves. Nessie said she'd let us know when they were done talking." Leah turned her nose up at the pizza, still looking a little green, and then turned to Jacob.

"You okay?" she said slowly. Jacob did a double take. Leah, asking after his well being? Impossible.

"I'm fine," he replied. She saw his confusion.

"You hate him," she clarified. "I've heard it in your mind… you hate him for trying to move in on Nessie." Jacob just shook his head.

"I'll be fine, Leah. I don't like the guy, but it's not about me. I've gotten over worse rivalries than this one." He thought of Edward, who still didn't know about the developments in his relationship with Renesmee. _And probably will have to get over some new, more intense ones._

Leah just looked relieved. "Okay… alright. I'm going to go to my room, get myself together." She got up and slunk from the room, looking almost sheepish. Jacob looked at Seth, and for a moment neither one of them could say anything. Then they both dissolved in to fits of laughter. They barely heard Embry come into the room.

"Oh man," said Seth when he regained control of his voice. "Do we have something to tell you!"

oooOOOooo

Leah tried to make herself as small behind Embry as possible, not an easy feat for a girl who stood five-foot-eleven in her socks. He'd been remarkably supportive, which surprised her to no end. He had even gone so far as to smack Seth upside the head for continuously mocking her as she tried to decide how to arrange her hair. He'd even kicked Jacob out of the spare bedroom and locked himself in with her, giving her advice on which sweater she should wear ("the chocolate one makes your eyes look really deep. Wear that one"). And now he was shielding her as they went down the hall. Bless that boy, she thought with a nervous smile."

Embry pulled up short at the top of the stairs. "Confidence, Lee," he whispered in her ear, shoving her in front of him. "You have nothing to worry about. He's a guy, you're a girl… just be charming, he'll be putty in your hands." Leah sniffed disdainfully. _Charming,_ she thought, _right_. Embry gave her a small shove and she started down the spiral staircase. She could hear Renesmee walking Rideau towards the door.

"Is your guest leaving?" She said in a loud, clear voice. Renesmee and Rideau both turned, and the half-vampire nodded slowly, looking unsure.

"I really should be going," Rideau said, addressing all of them but looking at Leah, "I've got so much work to do before class tomorrow. I'll see you on campus, Ness?" Renesmee nodded again. Leah noted that she seemed a whole lot more at ease than when Rideau had first entered the apartment. That was probably a good sign. And now Embry was poking her between her shoulderblades. She tossed him a whip-quick glare over her shoulder before turning back towards Rideau.

"Let me walk you down," she offered. "The boys wanted Chinese, and I offered to pick up."

"Didn't they just have pizza?" Rideau said with a half-amused, half-bewildered look. Leah rolled her eyes.

"They're big guys," she joked. She crossed the room, her feet feeling lighter than usual. "Anything for you, Nessie?"

"Um…" Renesmee was watching her strangely. So she hadn't figured it out yet. Leah felt a small pang of relief. "I'm okay… but maybe could you get some extra fortune cookies?"

"Of course," Leah said breezily. Renesmee was practically gaping. Embry grabbed her arm and pulled her to the side. Rideau had been distracted with gathering his bag and pulling on his jacket, only paying enough attention to the conversation to read the surface of it. Leah was at least thankful for his normal, human senses. He wouldn't be able to hear her heartbeat accelerating rapidly, or to smell the absolutely paralyzing fear she felt. Fear which Nessie had certainly gotten a whiff of as she strolled past. Thank whoever for Embry.

"Well, I don't mind being escorted, if you're going my way." Leah nearly swooned as he turned his gaze to her. Green. Behind the thick black frames of his glasses, his eyes were a pale, smooth green. Leah tried desperately to hold on to some sense of dignity. In order to do so, she had to turn away.

"I'll be back in a little while," She said to Renesmee and Embry. Nessie looked as though the other shoe was just about to drop. Leah shot her the briefest, most pleading glance, and Renesmee nodded.

"Ah, okay," she said in a voice that was almost too sweet. "Be careful."

"Don't worry about me," Leah said, "I can take care of myself." She tried to make her words sound as light as possible, but Renesmee clearly heard the old Leah shining through. She moved closer to them as they exited the loft, and Leah heard her slide the lock back into place behind them.

Leah tried to think of something, anything, to say as they rode the elevator down. It was hard to think, standing there in a tiny, enclosed box with the object of her affection standing not two feet away, completely oblivious to her blinding, aching need for him. She hated the loss of her own self-control. She wasn't supposed to let herself feel this way, not ever again, and certainly not for some man she didn't even know. She looked away from him, turning her head to stare at the wall beside her. Big mistake. The elevator walls were mirrored; when she looked to the side she was faced with endless, repeating images of herself and Rideau standing side by side in silence. His image repeated there a thousand times over, growing infinitely smaller and smaller. She turned her head again. Straight forward it was. The elevator door… no danger there.

"So," Rideau said, nearly making her jump. "Renesmee tells me that you and Seth grew up with Jacob in Washington." Leah nodded, not trusting her voice at the moment. "So, did you live with him on the reservation?" Another nod. "I hope you don't mind my asking this, but… could I talk to you about your experiences growing up there sometime? I don't mean to sound pushy, it's just that I'm writing my thesis on North American Indigenous Tribes right now, and I'd love to get some insight into what it's like to be a present-day member of such a small tribe." He paused a bit awkwardly. "I think I offended Jacob when I asked him… I hope I'm not offending you."

Leah was almost taken aback by his consideration. She lived among men all the time, she was in their heads more often than not, for crying out loud. Nobody ever bothered to ask if they were offending her. She responded quickly and distinctly. "I'm not offended. And I'd be glad to help you out if I can… although I'm not sure how insightful it'll prove to be." Rideau looked relieved.

"Oh, good. I was almost afraid to ask you, after how Jacob reacted, but you looked a whole lot more approachable than him, so I figured I'd try." Leah couldn't help it; she let out a dry, barking laugh.

"Me, more approachable than Jacob?" She laughed again. "You've got it backwards." They were stepping out of the elevator now, on the first floor. "I'd rather drink paint than admit this in front of him, but Jake's actually one of the nicest guys I know. You guys must have gotten off on the wrong foot."

Rideau looked like he was trying to hide a scowl. "I don't think he likes me hanging around Ness," he said sourly. Leah nodded.

"He's just protective of her. You'd better get used to it, if you're going to be her friend… Jake's always going to be just a bit crazy around her. He always has been. But give him a chance… you'll get to like him. I mean, hell, even _I_ got to like him, and we grew up loathing each other." She shot him a small smile. "Sometimes it can surprise you when you find out who your real friends are."

"Wow," said Rideau as they stepped out into the cool night air. "You really respect the guy, huh?"

Leah quirked an eyebrow at him. "Is it that obvious? And, if so, is it that surprising?"

Rideau considered. "Obvious, yeah… you just totally went to bat for him against a total stranger. As for surprising…" he smiled at her sheepishly. "No offense, I don't want to bash your friend, but he always seemed like a bit of a hothead to me." Leah laughed, delighted.

"That's because he _is_ a hothead," she replied. "He also happens to be a really good guy. You two just need to get used to each other." They were stopped outside the building. Leah realized that the conversation was going to end if she didn't do something to prolong it. And all they'd done so far was talk about Jacob. Unacceptable. "Anyhow, enough about Jake. I just realized I got sent on a Chinese take-out mission with no knowledge of where I might find a Chinese restaurant. Any ideas?"

Rideau brightened at the change of subject. "Actually I know a great place a few blocks away. It's on the way to my building, I can walk you there." _Yes,_ Leah cried internally. A few blocks… how slowly could she walk? She found herself wishing for shorter legs.

"Great… lead the way." She took the opportunity to examine him a little further as they started moving in the direction of the setting sun. He had white skin with just the faintest trace of a fading tan. His cheekbones were high on his narrow face, and covered over with a couple days' worth of stubble. His hair was dark, though not as dark as hers; in the red light of the dying day the short strands reflected a deep, translucent brown. And those green eyes, hidden behind his glasses… she doubted many people would have noticed them, concealed as they were. She selfishly thought that she liked that idea: if everybody knew just how arresting those eyes were, she'd be likely to have a whole lot more competition. As she watched, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his grey wool coat, inadvertently pulling at the fabric so that his lean, lanky physique was obvious. He was just as tall as her, probably an inch or two taller, and with an intelligent, bookish sort of grace. All in all, the whole package was quite appealing. Leah had to stop herself there… if she didn't, he was likely to notice her fixation. "You might as well ask me any questions you might have in relation to your paper, since we're here," she said, grateful for the built in topic of discussion.

"You're sure you don't mind?"

"Positive." Rideau glanced at her quickly, and then looked away.

"Okay. What's it like, being a part of a tribe that's so small in numbers? The Quileute have no close relations in other tribes, your language has all but disappeared, and you've been relegated to the tiniest portion of the land you once held. I mean… does it get to you? If it were me, I'd be thinking about it constantly."  
"Sounds like you've thought about it enough anyway," Leah said with a hint of humour in her voice. Rideau shrugged, then nodded.

"I know it might sound weird, but yeah, I have. It's just that the same thing has happened to so many tribes. It's hard not to think about it."

Leah smirked. "I hope you're not going to assail me with White Man's guilt," she said, and then laughed when she saw his horrified expression. "Oh, don't look like that, I'm just kidding. You have to joke about it, sometimes, or it'll eat you alive. But honestly… yeah, I used to think about it a lot. And it used to make me mad. When I was younger, I was really passionate about my heritage, and the way that I displayed that passion was to be completely indignant about what has happened to my people throughout the years. How our numbers have dwindled to practically nothing, how we've never been able to regain the things our ancestors lost: material things, like land and possessions. But then as I got older, I began to realize that there are things in the world that are so much bigger than all of that. I couldn't have seen it when I was a kid, but my ancestors gave me gifts that nobody can ever take away, because they're just a part of me, plain and simple. And yeah, I still get to thinking about how unfair it is from time to time. But mostly now I'm just glad to be a part of a family that is united by the gifts and wisdom of our ancestors." She froze in her tracks for just a moment. "Wow, sorry… didn't mean to monologue at you."

Rideau was fixing her with a calculating look. "No, that's okay," he said quickly. "I thought it was a really graceful way of describing the whole situation."

"Huh… graceful." Leah smiled impishly. "You may be the first person who's ever used that word in reference to me."

"Oh," Rideau said with a less enthusiastic tone. Leah looked over at him to see what had caused his shift in attitude; he was pointing up at a bright orange sign covered in Chinese characters, with the English word 'Restaurant' buried in the midst of them. "This is it… the best Chinese restaurant in town." She wondered why he seemed disappointed that he'd managed to guide them there successfully. Then she realized that she was disappointed, too. But for what she guessed were hugely different reasons.

"Well, I guess this is my stop, then," She said as lightly as she could. Rideau looked like he was mulling something over.

"I suppose I should have warned you before, but it usually takes about twenty minutes for them to get an order together… sometimes more for a big one. If you want the company, we could grab a coffee while you're waiting." He gestured across the street, where the green and white of a Starbucks sign glowed back at them.

"I thought you had to study," Leah said, and then mentally kicked herself. _Why are you trying to get rid of him?_ Her brain shouted at her. She had no answer, except for the idea that she was terrified she'd screw something up if this conversation went on any longer.

"I do," Rideau replied, "But I was kind of hoping you'd help me put it off just a bit longer."

"Oh. Well in that case," she gestured to the door of the restaurant (which was really just a take-out counter and a couple chairs for waiting), "You'd better come in with me. I wouldn't want to make any uninformed menu selections."

An hour later, Leah was walking back to the loft on her own, her arms laden with bags of Chinese food, a huge grin on her face and Rideau's number in her cell phone.

**In the Next Chapter:**

_Leah was still and quiet. She picked up her mug and drummed her fingers against the side of it, but didn't drink. "I'm making this really difficult, aren't I?" She said, sounding almost apologetic. Renesmee arched an eyebrow. _

_ "Well, you're not exactly making it easy."_

(Psst! You there… Review!)


	28. Girl Talk

**AN: **Hi guys!

First of all, a huge thank you to everybody who reviewed Chapter 27! I got some of the best feedback I've ever received from you guys over the whole imprinting incident… I'm really happy, because that scene was one of my favorites, and I was hoping you all would like it as much as I do. So thanks for the reinforcement… you guys are the best :)

The next several chapters will feature Leah as a fairly prominent character, but we'll still have lots of Jake and Nessie, and the others as well. For those of you missing the rest of the Cullen, don't worry… we're taking some time away from them, but they WILL be back later on! I promise.

Enjoy, and please let me know what you think!

Thanks for reading!

~Crit.

**Chapter 28: Girl Talk**

After Leah left the apartment, Renesmee turned to the room at large and crossed her arms over her chest. Jacob and Seth were just coming down the staircase, the former frowning thoughtfully, and the latter wearing a goofy grin. Embry was regarding her a bit guiltily.

"Okay," she said in a warning tone, "_What_ just happened?"

Jacob started towards her, but Seth beat him. He grabbed her arm forcefully and dragged her over towards the couches in his enthusiasm.

"You're gonna want to sit down for this, Nessie," He said, practically bubbling over. Renesmee was somewhere between irritated and amused by Seth's oddball behavior; she didn't know any other thirty-two year old men who acted the way he did when he was excited about something. She gave him a return shove as he pushed her into her seat, and he laughed as he went flying backwards. He had to leap over the coffee table to avoid crashing into it.

"You two, quit horsing around," Jacob said in his serious-Alpha voice. Renesmee raised an eyebrow and smirked at him.

"You're not the boss of me," She replied. Jacob pulled a face at her.

"No, but I'm the boss of _him_." He jerked his thumb at Seth, who just continued to laugh.

"Lighten up, Jake, we're just messing around. This is a time for celebration!" Renesmee remembered the reason for their scrapping in the first place.

"And that brings me to my next question, which is remarkably the same as my first, still unanswered, question: What the hell is going on?"

Jacob sighed as he dropped onto the couch beside her. "First thing's first… how's Rideau?"

Renesmee looked at him as if he'd grown an extra head. "This is something you care about?"

Jacob grimaced. "Yeah. We'll get into why in a minute. Did you guys make up? How's his hand?"

"Yes, we did. And it turns out it was just a hairline fracture… they took the cast off on Saturday. He's managed to convince himself that he must have hurt it beforehand, and I just exacerbated it… he wanted to be sure I knew it wasn't my fault." She sighed heavily, then remembered the topic at hand and fixed Jacob with a searching look. "What's happening, Jake?"

"You're not going to believe it," he warned.

"Try me."

"Try to keep an open mind," he said, and then, "Leah's found her imprint."

Everything fell into place, and Renesmee felt her jaw drop as her worst suspicions were confirmed. "You have _got_ to be kidding," she said. Jacob shook his head.

"Serious."

"As a greek tragedy," Seth added with a grin. Renesmee groaned.

"It never ends!" She buried her face in her hands. "It's just non-stop crazy with you wolves, isn't it? I mean, hell, Jacob… Rideau and _Leah_?" She looked up again. "I've never heard anything more preposterous or less likely in my entire life."

Embry put up one finger to indicate that he had something to add. "Unless, of course, you count the teenaged leader of a pack of shapeshifting wolves bonding with the infant offspring of a human and a vampire," he said, deadpan. Seth cackled with laughter. Renesmee took a deep breath to steady herself. She had to admit, Embry had a very valid point.

"Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating… but _really,_ you guys? Are you sure?"

All three men nodded. "Positive," Seth said.

"Well, I mean, how do you know?"

"Nessie," Jacob put a hand on her shoulder and looked her in the eye very seriously, "Trust us… it's pretty unmistakable. Once you've seen it happen, you know when it happens again." Renesmee figured that pretty much settled it: Jacob was sure, he was the alpha, he'd been through it before. It had to be true.

"Wow," She said quietly. "That's big news."

"Quite," Embry replied. He gave her a small, sympathetic smile, which she tried to return. "Don't worry… we're all taken a bit off guard."

Renesmee's head was whirring at a thousand miles a minute. "What does this mean?" She asked, automatically turning to Jacob. "They can't just go from zero to soulmates in a day, can they? I mean, what if he doesn't _want_ to… does he have a choice?" She hated this; she and Jacob had just gotten over their own imprinting drama, and now she had to deal with someone else's. It would undoubtedly bring up more questions about her own relationship, and she didn't know if she was ready for that.

"Of course he has a choice," Jacob said firmly. "It's entirely his decision. And… I'm not exactly sure what we do about it. Obviously, Rideau knows nothing about our world, so we can't just tell him. When we imprint within the tribe, the imprints have usually grown up hearing the wolf legends, so there's a sort of frame of reference, at least. And you obviously knew half the situation before you figured the rest of it out. Rideau has none of that. I'm not sure how we're supposed to proceed in a situation like this."

"We were hoping you could help us out with that," Embry added. "You're his friend, right? Maybe you know what he'd respond best to."

Renesmee furrowed her brow and tried her best to think logically about the situation. It was far, far beyond her problem-solving capabilities. Unbidden, her father's voice came into her head: "_Things won't always come to you just because you want them to, Renesmee. If you need something that lies beyond your reach, sometimes you just have to find a way to make your arms longer."_

"Any ideas?" Seth looked hopeful. Renesmee shook her head slowly.

"No. But that doesn't mean there isn't an appropriate way to approach this… just that we need to think of it still." She frowned. "Shouldn't Leah be in on this discussion? It seems to me she has a vested interest…"

"We have no idea what's going to happen when Leah gets back," Jacob said with a worried look. "It could go either way… and personally, I'm sort of concerned about how she's going to deal with this whole thing once it sinks in."

Seth nodded vehemently. "Yeah, I don't know if you've noticed, Nessie, but she's kind of scary sometimes."

Renesmee had to chuckle at that, but she accompanied wit with an admonition of, "Be nice."

"I don't know, you guys." Embry shrugged. "I think you're underestimating Leah. Maybe it'll be good for her… maybe she'll do just fine on her own. After all, she's dealt with worse… this is a _good_ thing, remember?"

"It's only a good thing if the guy doesn't run screaming from the giant slobbering canine," Seth said, for once not looking like he was joking. Renesmee had to agree.

"Okay, Seth's right… but Embry's right too. This is workable. We just need to proceed with caution, and make sure we have a really solid plan. Which we will work out, _with Leah_, when she gets back. For now, we need to stop discussing something that is entirely _her _business without her… something tells me she wouldn't really appreciate us doing that." Renesmee raised an eyebrow and looked at each one of them in turn. Seth even had the decency to look somewhat abashed.

Jacob nodded. "That sounds like a plan. You're absolutely right."

Renesmee fixed him with a cheeky grin. "Of course I am."

"Okay, this drama has gone on long enough. Can we please play Wii now?" Jacob lobbed a pillow at Seth.

"I'm sure your sister really appreciates your concern," he retorted, but Renesmee noticed he got up immediately and started to pull out the gaming system anyway. Seth practically jumped up to grab his controller.

"Amazing. I love this retro shit," He said, turning the white plastic rectangle over in his hands. "Leave it to Alice to think of buying this for you guys."

After that, it became a showdown between Jacob and Seth. Renesmee watched them mess around with the game and each other for a few minutes before she got bored and decided to catch up on some readings. Jacob and Seth were completely absorbed, and Embry was observing and giving commentary… they'd never miss her. She snuck upstairs unnoticed.

She tried to do some reading, but she was too antsy to work on school things. It only made her think about Rideau, which then made her think about the whole Leah situation, which put her right on edge. She picked out an outfit for the following day, which had pretty much the same effect. She knew she'd be seeing Rideau on the campus. They had made a tentative plan to meet up for coffee and talk about things a bit further. It made her nervous, and now it wasn't just due to the fact that they'd fought terribly and she'd practically maimed him… there was Leah to think about. Would she be upset? Jealous? Did Rideau still have feelings for her, and if so, how would she ever explain to Leah that she wasn't trying to encourage it? She purposely picked out a very modest sweater and pants combination. She wouldn't go so far as to make herself purposely unattractive, but she could at least look as unexceptional as possible.

She knew when Leah came in because Seth began to whistle suggestively. The sound was followed closely by a yelp of pain, and she figured Leah had given him a good smack. Good for her. Renesmee spent along moment trying to decide whether she should go downstairs and see what was going on or simply stay out of it before steeling herself and heading for the stairs.

When the living room came into view, she saw that Leah had, indeed, gone for Chinese food, and the boys were already into it. She couldn't suppress her grin at that. They were wrists deep in Lo Mein, while Leah munched on an Egg Roll and staunchly ignored their barrage of questions. Quietly, she slipped into the room and tried to sneak by to get a glass of juice from the kitchen. She was almost past them when Leah called out, stopping her.

"Nessie," she said in a loud, clear voice. Renesmee looked over, trying not to flinch as she anticipated some sort of angry tirade (she _had_ broken the woman's soulmate's wrist, after all). Leah chucked something at her head; Renesmee's hand shot up and caught it deftly. She looked at the brown paper bag in her hand, and then after a moment's confusion, tore it open and looked inside. It was full of fortune cookies, at least twenty. "You said you wanted extra," Leah said by way of explanation. Renesmee blinked a couple times.

"That's… a lot of cookies," she said. Leah smirked.

"Yeah, well… hopefully all the fortunes are good. Don't shoot the messenger if they're not, okay?" Renesmee just stared dumbly.

"Sure… I'll try not to."

"Try the Kung Pow Chicken," Seth said around a mouthful of the same. "It's _unreal_." Renesmee made a face.

"I think I'll pass, thanks," she said, settling onto the couch with her bag of cookies. She pulled one out and tore through the cellophane wrapper, cracking it in half delicately and pulling out the narrow strip of paper. She turned it over and looked at it, then burst out laughing.

"What does it say, Nessie?" Embry asked, leaning in to try and get a look.

She laughed again, cleared her throat, and read, "An unexpected meeting brings changes to your family circle." The boys howled with laughter, and Leah groaned loudly. Renesmee couldn't resist; with a sneaky smile, she shrugged and said, "Hey, don't shoot the messenger, remember?"

"Can I shoot _myself_?" Leah muttered under her breath. "Is that an option?"

oooOOOoo

After they were finished eating, Leah retreated up to her room. Seth and Embry wanted to explore the city some more, and Jacob decided he'd go with them. Renesmee politely declined the invitation to join up. It had been an emotionally exhausting day, and she just wanted to relax and recline for a bit. She called her parents to let them know she was back safe and sound, flipped on the television, watched a couple Seinfeld reruns on the retro channel, and then did some of her readings for school. Just as before, nothing held her interest for very long. Plus, she had an intense craving for coffee. She toyed with the idea of calling the guys and asking them to bring home Starbucks, and then decided to just leave them alone and brew a pot herself. As she was padding down the hallways towards the stairs, she heard the soft _click_ of a bedroom door opening, and she turned to see Leah's head peering around the doorframe.

"Nessie?" She called after her. Renesmee stopped and went towards the spare room.

"What's up? I was just about to put on a pot of coffee… you want some?"

Leah shook her head. "No thanks. But, uh… when you come back up, do you think I could talk to you?"

Renesmee raised her eyebrows in surprise, and then nodded. "Okay. Just give me a minute."

"Sure." Leah disappeared back into the room, leaving the door open. Renesmee puzzled over the other woman's odd behavior as she went down the stairs. Leah actually _wanted _to talk. That was headline-worthy news. She rushed her way through putting the coffee on, set it to brew, and went back upstairs.

"Hey," she said, poking her head around the doorway. "Can I come in?"

Leah was seated cross-legged on the bed, her laptop open and resting between her knees. Her fingers were flying over the keys, and at the sound of Renesmee's voice she stopped typing and looked up. "Sure," she said, shutting her computer.

"I just put on a pot and left it… I'm going to have to go back down in a couple minutes," Renesmee said awkwardly. Leah just shrugged.

"Fine." She swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up. "Listen, I wanted to say something now, while it's still relevant. I guess the boys told you what happened." Renesmee nodded. "Well, Embry came up and talked to me for a bit before they headed out, and he said that you offered to help, but that you wouldn't talk about it unless I was there." She raised an eyebrow, clearly expecting a response. Again, Renesmee nodded. She felt a little bit like she was on trial.

"That's right… that's pretty much how it went."

Leah took a deep breath and released it slowly. "Okay," she said when she was finished. She looked Renesmee in the eye. "Thanks. I appreciate you doing that. Jacob and Seth can sometimes get a little carried away with thinking my business is theirs to get involved in." Renesmee snorted involuntarily.

"Tell me about it!" When Leah gave her a funny look, she clarified, "I mean, you know I love Jake, but sometimes he can be a bit… domineering." Leah actually cracked a smile at that.

"I didn't think he got like that with you," she said thoughtfully. Renesmee just rolled her eyes.

"Are you kidding? All the time! You wouldn't believe the number of fights we've had because he's tried to make my decisions _for_ me."

Leah looked moderately surprised. "You guys fight a lot?"

Renesmee nodded vehemently. "All the time. We always make up pretty much right away, though. But yeah, we scrap it out pretty often."

"He must really try hard not to think about that when he's in the pack mind. I never knew." She had that thoughtful look again. "I always just figured he couldn't ever go against what you wanted. You know, because of the…" She let her sentence peter off. Renesmee smirked.

"The imprint, yeah. Well, I still don't know that much about it, to tell the truth… but one thing I know is it definitely doesn't work that way. And to tell you the truth, I'm sort of glad… I wouldn't want him to just be captive like that, to not be able to speak his mind or fight back. That would probably make me as miserable as it would make him."

Leah nodded slowly. "So… you're _not_ miserable, then. Even though you still fight, and he can be… difficult… sometimes, you're still pretty happy, right? You're okay with being tied to this person, even though you really had no say?" Renesmee fixed Leah with a searching look.

"Are we still talking about me and Jacob?" She asked quietly. Leah brought one hand up and raked it through her short hair, frowning.

"Look, I'm just… I don't know what I'm doing, okay?" She said it loudly, defensively, and Renesmee shrank back. "Sorry," Leah said, her voice loaded with frustration, "Sorry. Damn it!" She turned away and put a couple paces between them before turning back. "Look, forget it. Just… go back to whatever it was you were doing, forget I even brought it up. I'll work it out. It'll be fine." Renesmee felt a surge of pity for the other woman. If it had been anyone else there in the room with her—her mother, her aunts, Clara—she would have gathered them into a hug and whispered soothing things until they were calm. But she got the feeling Leah didn't do hugs. She'd have to try a different tactic.

"I'm going to go out there now and get my coffee. You can take a minute to get things laid out in your head, and then when I come back up we'll talk it over, and we'll figure out exactly what you need to do to be okay with all of this. All right?"

Leah looked a bit stunned. Renesmee had a moment of panic, thinking she'd insulted her beyond measure, before the other woman nodded and said. "Okay. Okay, that sounds good." Renesmee broke into a smile.

"You sure I can't get you a coffee too?" Leah sighed.

"Yeah, gimme one. Why not… it's not like I'm sleeping tonight anyway, right? So, black with sugar, if you've got it." Renesmee laughed a little as she headed out the door.

When she came back in, two steaming mugs in her hands, Leah was seated on the bed again, and she reached one long arm out to pat the mattress in front of her, indicating for her to sit. Renesmee handed Leah her coffee and then sat on the end of the bed, curling her legs under her. She thought to herself that this was akin to the most bizarre slumber party in the history of the world. Who would have ever thought she'd be having girl chat over coffee with Leah Clearwater?

Leah took a long sip of her coffee and made an appreciative noise. "You make a good cup," she said.

"Thanks." Renesmee drank some of her own coffee and then set the cup down, balancing it carefully on the mattress against her legs. "So," she said seriously, "Lay it on me. What's going on?"

Leah chuckled a little and shook her head. "You're funny, you know?" She said with a look that could have been admiration or pity. With Leah, it was sometimes hard to tell. "What makes you think you're going to be able to help at all?"

Renesmee's first impulse was to be polite, but she knew how Leah valued honesty over lip-service. "Look, Leah, I think you might be under the impression that I'm stupid just because I'm young. I'd really like to cure you of that misconception. The fact of the matter is, I have a little bit of experience with this. I haven't ever imprinted… but I've been imprinted upon, and I think that gives me a perspective that might be helpful, especially since I can tell you what _not_ to do if you want things to work out. So what you need to do, if you want any help from me at all, is get over any preconceived notions you might have about me and listen up. Okay?"

Leah's eyebrows were raised so high that they were almost in her hairline. "Yeah, I gotcha." She smirked and took another sip of coffee. "So, fine then, Oh Wise One… tell me all you know."

Renesmee gave her a wry smile. "Since you asked so nicely," she said sarcastically. She was starting to realize that Leah's prickly communication style was actually pretty fun once you got used to it. "First thing's first: You _can not_ keep this from him. He has to know, if you ever intend to act on it, and he has to know as soon as is possible without scaring him off. When I found out that Jacob and my family had been hiding our imprint from me for seventeen years, I was furious. Not at first; I was just so happy that Jacob and I were going to be together… but after, when I thought it through, I was really upset. And I took that out on my dad, because I knew it was mostly his fault that Jacob hadn't told me earlier. Nobody's holding _you_ back from telling Rideau except for yourself… which means that if you hide it and he finds out, he'll take it out on you."

"But I can't just tell him," Leah argued. "I mean, come on, what would I even say: 'I know we just met and all, and I'm the friend of some guy you can't stand, but I'm pretty sure I'm your soulmate. P.S., I turn into a giant dog at will'?" She shook her head. "I'm sure that'd go over well."

"That's not what I'm suggesting, and I'm pretty sure you know it." Leah's mouth snapped shut at that back-handed reprimand. "Obviously you'll have to ease him into it. Gain his trust, be his friend. I can help with that. He likes me a lot."

"Yeah, I _got_ that." And now Leah was glowering again. Great. Renesmee sighed.

"Look, Leah… I can't help how Rideau feels about me. I never did anything to encourage it, and I don't return his feelings at all. I know you're already aware and probably don't need to hear it, but I _love _Jacob. When Rideau refused to accept that and decided to pursue me in spite of that knowledge, it put a huge rift between us. And the only reason we were able to make up earlier is because he came to me and swore up and down that he'd thought it over and was content to just be my friend. I don't want him as anything more than that. What I _do_ want is for him to be happy." She looked Leah straight in the eyes. "I'm on your side. Get used to it."

Leah was still and quiet. She picked up her mug and drummed her fingers against the side of it, but didn't drink. "I'm making this really difficult, aren't I?" She said, sounding almost apologetic. Renesmee arched an eyebrow.

"Well, you're not exactly making it easy." Leah chuckled.

"You know, Nessie, I think I could actually stand being around you, eventually." Renesmee was, once again, confounded.

"Um, thanks, I think?"

"I mean, you're not at all the way Jacob thinks you are."

And now she was worried. "How is that?"

"Perfect." The way Leah said the word, it sounded like pretty much the opposite of how most people would have meant it. "Believe me, I get tired of hearing about it. But I guess that's not your fault."

Renesmee supposed she should be relieved. "Jake knows I'm not perfect," she argued. "Like I said, we fight all the time."

"Well, all I know is, I've never seen a bad thought about you in his head. And when you're someone like me, it's hard to cozy up to someone so _flawless_." She shrugged. "I'm just glad to know you're actually more of a real person than all that."

There were all kinds of things Renesmee could take the wrong way about that speech, so she decided to focus on the one that didn't center on herself. "What do you mean, someone like you?" Leah rolled her eyes.

"Don't pretend like you don't know. I'm sort of a disaster, Nessie. Everybody can see that. I'm mean, and I'm cranky, and I don't handle being around people very well. And it's not easy for me to be around people who have such an easy time socializing and making friends." She paused. "Did I say all that out loud?"

Renesmee just stared at her, stunned. "You think it's easy for me?" She said softly. "Leah, I know you've had it rough, but just because your life's been harder than mine doesn't mean I've had it easy. At least _you_ know what you _are._"

"What do you mean?" Leah asked, looking like she genuinely had no idea. Renesmee sighed.

"You're a wolf. You have a pack, a whole _set _of people who are just the same as you. Who do I have that's like me? Not my parents… Not the pack. I've only met one other person like me: some stranger from another continent who kills people for their blood. And I suppose I can count his equally murderous sisters, even though I've never met them. Is that where I belong, is that what I am?" She stopped suddenly, running completely out of steam.

"Wow," was all Leah could say. Renesmee laughed humourlessly.

"Gee, you really have a way of bringing out the buried stuff, don't you?" She felt exposed, and embarrassed. But there was a part of her, a small, rebellious part, that was thrilled at the freedom of saying exactly what she felt.

Leah groaned and closed her eyes. "I'm a bad influence. You should probably not be around me too much… the gloom is catching."

"I can handle it." They looked at each other for a long moment. "I meant what I said about being on your side, Leah," Renesmee said finally. "I want to help. Nobody's perfect… if you wait until you've reached perfection to let yourself be happy, you never will be."

Leah smirked. "How'd you get so smart, kid? Last I checked, I was more than twice your age… shouldn't I be schooling you in this stuff?"

"When you've got eternity, age is just a number, right? It doesn't really matter."

"Ha," said Leah, "That's sort of true."

"So," Renesmee said, clapping her hands together to shake off the seriousness, "Back to business: what do we do about your boy troubles?"

**In the Next Chapter:**

"_No," she muttered, "Please… Jacob, no."_

_ He started. What did that mean? Was he the subject of her bad dream? Jacob looked down the length of her body to where her hands lay, balled tightly in the blankets, and made a split second decision. He took her hand and twisted the sheet out of its grasp. Renesmee didn't wake up as he spread her fingers and bent his head, pressing her over-heated palm to his cheek. _

(This is your conscience, speaking to you through your computer screen. Critiquelle will be SO happy if you review her story. Don't you want to make somebody happy? Always let your conscience be your guide.)


	29. Attack of the Clones

**AN: **Goddamn Stomach Flu. What a miserable weekend.

Not sure when I'll be posting the next chapter… definitely within the next seven days, just maybe later in that timeline than sooner. But hopefully this one will be long enough to tide you guys over until then!

Things are starting to get a liiiitle weird. But not as weird as they're going to =D

Thanks, as always, for reading! And a huge thank you to everybody who reviewed the last chapter… I'm behind on my responses, but I will get around to it in the next couple days. Figured you'd prefer an update, for now.

Enjoy!

~Crit.

**Chapter 29: Attack of the Clones**

When Jacob, Embry and Seth got back to the apartment, the first thing Jacob noticed was the smell of coffee. He smiled to himself, thinking fondly that Renesmee was a little too addicted to the stuff. Not that she usually slept much anyway, so it didn't make that much of a difference. Seth threw himself down on one of the couches and started to channel surf, Embry went to get a glass of water, and Jacob looked around and wondered why Nessie hadn't come out to greet them. Maybe she was studying.

Embry spoke up as he came out of the kitchen, echoing Jacob's question. "It's quiet in here… wonder what they're up to?" Jacob shrugged, and then started for the stairs.

"One way to find out," he said, bounding lightly up the staircase. He peered into Renesmee's bedroom: empty. Leah's door was closed, which probably meant she was inside. Maybe Renesmee had gone out?

A sudden noise from Leah's room made him turn around with super-human speed. It sounded just like two girls laughing, but Jacob knew that wasn't possible… unless…

"Nessie?" He called out hesitantly. The laughter stopped abruptly, and then started again a moment later.

"Yeah," came the response. Jacob was so shocked that, for a moment, he simply assumed he was hearing things. "Jake? Did you need something?" Now there was no question: Renesmee was definitely in Leah's room, and from the sounds of things, they were _having fun_.

"Uh… no. I just wanted to tell you we're back."

"Yeah, we kind of figured." Leah's voice this time, clear and strong. Jacob shook his head in wonder. Embry had come up the stairs by this point, and when Jacob turned to him he had both eyebrows raised in an expression of pure surprise. Jacob shoved him backwards into his own bedroom and closed the door.

"Okay," Embry said, "_That's _weird."

"I know, right?" Jacob sat down and took a deep breath. "Has the entire world turned upside down or something? I mean, what the hell?"

Embry shrugged. "I don't know, Jake… in a weird way, it sort of makes sense. I mean, Nessie's so intuitive about people's feelings. She always knows the right thing to do, even when she's second guessing herself. And you of all people know how persistent she can be. Maybe she just didn't let Leah get away with being… Leah."

Jacob made a face. "That does sound like something she'd do. Especially after I told her about Sam."

"Leah's probably not going to be thrilled at you for spreading that little history lesson around." Embry looked almost worried. "The probability of you surviving the week just dropped by a few points. I hope you know that."

"It's just Nessie. She's practically pack."

Embry rolled his eyes. "Not sure Leah sees it that way. Although from the sounds of things, they seem to be getting along. So maybe I'm wrong."

Jacob sighed. "We'll see."

After a few more minutes of speculation as to what was going on in the spare room, they simply decided to join Seth downstairs for some television and distract themselves while they waited for the girls to emerge. About an hour of passive entertainment had elapsed before Leah appeared suddenly at the top of the stairs, carrying two mugs. Three sets of eyes fixed immediately on her. She stared, hard, at each of them in turn as she descended the staircase, and then breezed by them into the kitchen, presumably to place the mugs in the dishwasher.

"Hey, Lee," Seth called at her back as she passed. "What's happening?"

She shrugged as she emerged. "Nothing. Going to bed. It's late." Jacob and Embry exchanged a look.

"Everything good?" Embry asked cautiously. Leah gave him a look like he was nuts.

"Fine," she said. "Can I go sleep now? Is that okay with the three of you, or would you like to interrogate me further?"

"Are you actually giving us a choice?"

Leah smirked. "Nope." And she headed for the stairs again, mounting them without another word to her three flabbergasted pack-mates.

Jacob looked at Seth and Embry and shook his head in consternation. "I'll go find out from Nessie what the heck is going on," he said. They nodded in agreement.

When Jacob got upstairs, Renesmee was back in her room, changing into pajamas. "Hey!" She cried as he opened the door, "Ever hear of knocking?"

Jacob just rolled his eyes. "It's nothing I haven't seen, Ness," He said, and then he gave her a huge wink. Renesmee looked like she was trying hard not to laugh at him as she pulled on her top. Jacob crossed his arms as he watched her. "On the subject of things I haven't seen… were you and Leah just _getting along_?"

"If you must know, we were." Renesmee sat down on the bed and stared straight back at him. "It was her idea, actually. She called me in to thank me for offering to help with… the whole thing. And for not letting you guys go on and on about it behind her back." She gave him a pointed look. Jacob put his hands up.

"I'm not any more interested in gossiping than you are, Nessie… I just want to make sure she's okay."

Renesmee nodded, her expression softening. "I know you do. And that's the only reason I'm telling you anything about our conversation: I know you're only interested in helping Leah. But even so, I'm still not comfortable turning around and betraying her trust… she's so adamant about having her privacy respected."

Jacob felt a surge of affection for his Imprint. Very few people stopped to think about Leah's feelings, mostly because the majority of them were convinced she didn't have any to speak of. He reached over and closed his hands around her upper arms, smiling. "You're a good friend, sweetheart." Renesmee snorted doubtfully.

"I wouldn't call us friends, exactly. But I have a whole new respect for her, and I think maybe we have a bit of an understanding now. She's willing to let me help her. And she's going to be okay, and that's really all I can tell you now, without her here." Jacob nodded, and then pulled Renesmee to him, holding her tightly against his chest.

"Thanks for reaching out to her," he said quietly. "I'll drop it now."

"Good." Renesmee turned her face up to look at him. "I've had about as much of it as I can take. I think it's time to focus on _us_ for the rest of the night."

"I think that's a good idea." He kissed her, and then pulled away, putting a bit of distance between them. "Speaking of us, Nessie, I want to talk to you about something."

"O-kay…" She looked suddenly wary, so Jacob put a hand on each of her knees and smiled a little, just to let her know it wasn't anything too serious.

"It's a good thing," he said, "But I'm afraid you might take it the wrong way."

Renesmee raised one eyebrow. "Jacob. Spit it out already."

He chuckled. "All right. You know I've been having a great time with you since we've been in the city. Our time together has been really, really good, and I love living here with you."

"You're working your way up to a 'but', aren't you?"

"But," Jacob said, rolling his eyes. "You're not actually _with_ me most of the time. And, well… it gets kind of boring."

"You're bored?" Renesmee looked like she was trying not to seem too upset. Jacob was quick to correct her.

"Not with _you_. Just when you're not around. Which is a lot, actually, when you factor in school, and all the time you spend out with Clara." He gave her an apologetic smile. "I've tried to keep busy, but there's only so much I can do without draining my bank account. And to be honest, I feel like a bit of a slacker. You're out there bettering yourself, and I'm sitting at home watching infomercials."

Renesmee's eyes were wide. "Oh shit! Jake, I'm sorry… I never even thought about it like that!" She shook her head. "Why didn't you tell me before?" He shrugged.

"Well, for one thing, because I didn't want to bug you. And for another thing, I sort of had a plan. But I didn't want to say anything until I knew if it was gonna fly." He smiled at her. "So, you wanna hear it?"

Renesmee was watching him warily. "A plan, huh? Okay… let's have it."

Jacob took a breath. "Okay, so you know I had a meeting with Carlisle, just like you did. And I'm sure you know pretty much what we talked about. But, well, we also talked about some other things… not physical things. Mental things."

"_You're_ acting like a mental thing," Renesmee quipped, earning herself a light smack on the knee. "Get on with it!"

"Well, I basically told him that I wanted to do something with my time while I'm here. We talked about how one of the conditions of your being able to move out was to go to school. And we both agreed that it might be a good idea if I did something similar." He folded his hands in his lap and waited for a reaction.

"You want to go to school?" She asked, looking like she didn't really believe it. Jacob nodded, and a huge grin broke out across her face. "Jacob, that's fantastic!" She sprang forward and threw her arms around him. "We can study together! It'll be so much fun… what are you taking?"

Jacob actually felt a bit nervous about telling her. He'd never actually talked to Renesmee about what he'd like to do for a living… it hadn't come up, since the Cullens had been supporting him for most of his life. But he _did_ have goals and ideas. And he wanted her to know. He just worried she might think it was a bit silly. "Don't laugh, okay?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to make fun of your dreams, Jacob. Tell me."

"Environmental Studies. I figured I'd have more success helping to preserve and protect the wildlife that both of our families need to survive if I got some formal credentials behind me." He looked at her sideways. She was just smiling at him. "Okay, thanks for keeping it in. You can laugh now if you want to."

Renesmee just shook her head and kept beaming. "I don't think it's funny, Jake. I think it's perfect. And I know it's something you really care about." She leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss. "It's a really good idea."

Jacob felt a rush of pride at her approval. It was something he'd been playing with in his head for a long time, and it pleased him that Renesmee liked the idea. "Your Grandfather thought so too. He's helping me pull some strings so that I can start courses in Winter term. Good thing your family's so big on education… if your dad hadn't forced me to take the SATs years ago, it would have been a lot harder to get things going so quickly." Her grin was infectious; Jacob found himself beaming with equal ferocity, and he continued, "Carlisle offered to pay, of course… but I want to do this on my own. There's enough in the trust Billy set up with the money from my mom's life insurance policy to get me through the first year at least, and when next year rolls around there are a bunch of bursaries I can apply for. I'm a shoe-in for the one from the Res, and I can probably get some sort of government grant, particularly being from such a small tribe…" Renesmee cut him off by launching forward and pressing her lips to his. After a moment of surprise, Jacob wound his arms around her and let her tackle him down onto the mattress. He fought very hard to stop himself from laughing against her mouth… leave it to Renesmee to get all hot and bothered over education.

"I'm so proud of you, Jake," she said when she finally pulled away. "And I want you to know that I'm behind you."

"Actually, you're on top of me." She gave him a withering look.

"If you're going to be entering a serious course of study, the least you could do is make an attempt at maturity."

Jacob smirked. "Yeah, Ness, because college students always conduct themselves with dignity and class." That got her; she began to giggle, and then kissed him again before collapsing against his chest and sighing.

"This is so exciting! First thing tomorrow, we're going to the bookstore and finding all of your required texts. Then we'll go get you everything you need for school: pens, pencils, a bag, a laptop…" Jacob placed a hand on her back to quiet her.

"Whoa. Nerd alert. Settle down, Nessie."

"Sorry," she said sheepishly, "I just really like school."

"Yeah," Jacob said, laughing. "I know that about you." He raked a hand through her hair. "So, you don't think I'm some crazy granola hippie now, do you, what with majoring in Tree-Hugging and all that?"

"Of course not." She peered up at him through her lashes. "But if you start wearing socks and sandals, I _will_ insist you change your major."

"Duly noted."

oooOOOooo

Later, in the dark of their room, Jacob was awoken by movement from Renesmee's side of the bed. As he stirred into wakefulness, he realized that she was tossing and turning in her sleep, thrashing about in the twisted sheet as though trying to escape from beneath it. Her face was a terrified mask, her jaw clenched, and beads of sweat stood out along her hairline. Jacob sat up, immediately alert, and cast a quick look around the room. Nothing was out of place… she was clearly just having a nightmare. And then, as he watched, she spoke.

"No," she muttered, "Please… Jacob, no."

He started. What did _that_ mean? Was he the subject of her bad dream? Jacob looked down the length of her body to where her hands lay, balled tightly in the blankets, and made a split second decision. He took her hand and twisted the sheet out of its grasp. Renesmee didn't wake up as he spread her fingers and bent his head, pressing her over-heated palm to his cheek.

It was like being pulled out of the world and into another, completely different one. Jacob had been expecting to see pictures in his mind, like he usually did with Renesmee's gift, but this was something altogether new to him. He was not only seeing what Renesmee was dreaming; he was _living _it.

His arms and legs were held down by strong, warm fingers, and at first all he could see was a blinding white light. Then, as the world came into focus, he registered his captors' faces. The familiar pale, smooth skin, tiny frame and cascade of copper curls sent a jolt of shocked recognition through him. Renesmee was holding him down. More specifically, four Renesmees. Logically, Jacob knew it wasn't possible… there was only one Renesmee, nobody anywhere in the entire world was like her. But emotionally, he felt a horrible, icy terror gripping him by the spine. These four girls looked nothing like his imprint, in spite of the fact that their features were nearly identical to hers: The very things that made Renesmee herself— her wonder, her curiosity, her kind-heartedness—were absent in these four strange clones. Their faces were hard, cruel, mocking.

And his body didn't feel right. Beyond the obvious restraint, there was another strange feeling of constriction, as though he'd been shoved into a suit of full-body armor five sizes too small. Nothing felt right. And as he pushed against his captors' hands, he realized that his motions didn't correspond with the ways he was attempting to move. He looked down at his body.

At least, at what should have been his body. Jacob couldn't recall his skin ever being so pale, his bones so delicate, his chest so… and then he realized that he was looking not at himself, but at another Renesmee. Finally, something that made sense to him: he was in her dream, after all… why wouldn't he be seeing it from her perspective? It was so strange, like being trapped inside someone else's mind. He had no control, no will power of his own, he could only watch and observe according to Renesmee's actions.

"Let him go!" He felt his lips—Renesmee's lips—moving, the air leaving their shared lungs as she shouted. "Jacob… Jacob!" Renesmee moved her head, and Jacob's vision realigned to show the rest of the room. Directly opposite them, hanging from wrists chained high up on the stone wall, was a beaten and bloody man. Someone in a long, dark robe was standing in front of him, dragging a sharp metal blade back and forth over his bruised skin. Amid the cuts and bruises were a huge number of mirrored crescent shapes, and he instantly recognized them as bite marks. Jacob felt a bizarre twist of nausea as he recognized himself in the image of the tortured man. "No," The captive Renesmee said again, this time more a whimper than a scream. "Stop it. Please, I'll do anything."

The robed figure stopped suddenly and began a slow, deliberate turn to face them. This time, Jacob was not surprised to see the face of his imprint staring back at them from beneath the hood. "Anything?" She said in a voice that both was and was not Renesmee's. Then she smiled, a slow, horrible grin. "Oh Renesmee… you already know what you have to do…"

Jacob flew straight upright in bed with a gasp. Beside him, Renesmee had also risen, and she was clutching her chest and not breathing at all. He could hear her heart, pounding mercilessly in her chest in time with his own. Slowly, she turned her terrified eyes to him.

"Jake," She said, her voice weak and shaky. Jacob didn't want her to see how shaken he was, and so he leaned towards her and closed his arms around her tightly.

"It's okay," he said, burying his face in her hair. He could almost smell the terror rolling off of her. "You were having a nightmare, sweetheart. It isn't real."

She was still shaking. "I just… it was so vivid… They had us, Jacob, they… _I_…"

"I know," He kissed the top of her head. "But it wasn't real. We're at home, we're safe."

Renesmee relaxed into his arms, her heart rate beginning to slow. Then, after a moment, she twisted in his grasp and looked up at him through the dark. "Wait, what do you mean 'you know'?" Jacob tried to keep the guilty look off of his face.

"I… uh…" She narrowed her eyes.

"Were you _spying_ on my dreams, Jacob?"

He sighed. There was no point in denying it. "I took your hand because you were clearly having a nightmare. You were saying my name. I… couldn't help it."

Renesmee buried her face in her hands. "Isn't it bad enough I sometimes pass on my dreams by accident? You can't just _do_ that, Jacob… dreams are private!"

He tried to back away from her as he said, "I know, and I'm sorry. It sounded like you were… afraid of me… and I got worried, and I just needed to know." She pulled him back towards her.

"Don't you dare let me go right now," she said warningly, twisting his arms back around her. Jacob gladly closed them the rest of the way, until she was once again settled against his chest. She looked up at him. "I'm not angry at you," She continued, "But you still shouldn't have done it."

"You're right." He kissed her quickly. "Are you okay?" He said, looking carefully into her eyes. She still looked really shaken. Slowly, she shook her head.

"Not yet. It usually takes me a while to calm down afterwards."

"Usually?" Jacob's eyes went wide. "Nessie… how often do you have dreams like that?"

She shrugged, an uncomfortable expression on her face. "I don't know… not all the time. I used to have them maybe once every few months. Different every time, but really… real."

"You _used to_? What about now?" She bit her lip and looked at him.

"Um… more often than before. Maybe once a week?"

Jacob felt his chest constrict with the memory of the terror he'd felt witnessing the nightmare. Renesmee had been going through that once a week, with him right there, and she hadn't said anything? Worse, he hadn't even woken up? He frowned. "Honey… for how long?"

"Since around when we started living together." Her eyes flickered away from his as she gave her answer. "But I'm sure the two things aren't connected at all," she was quick to add when Jacob raised his eyebrows.

"I'm sure they _are_," he replied, stunned. "This has been going on since we left home? Why didn't you tell me?"

She shifted uncomfortably, and he realized that he was gripping her a bit too tightly. He loosened his grip and stroked her arm to show her that he wasn't angry, and she relaxed visibly. "I was afraid you'd worry," she replied, looking down. "I didn't want you to get upset."

Jacob's heart seized again at the thought of his imprint suffering in silence for his benefit. That was unacceptable; he couldn't let her do that to herself. "Honey, look at me." She did as he told her, and he gave her a small, sympathetic smile. "That's what I'm here for. If you're upset, it's my _job_ to listen to you and make you feel better."

"Because I'm your Imprint," she said dully. Jacob shook his head.

"No, because you're my girlfriend and I love you." To Jacob's surprise, Renesmee gave a quick burst of laughter. "What?" She laughed again, more softly this time.

"I'm sorry, it's just… girlfriend?" she shook her head. "After all of this epic imprint stuff, it just seems like such a… normal way of describing us. Like we're a couple of human college kids, instead of… what we are."

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "I thought you wanted to be normal. Isn't that what all this— " he gestured around the room "—is all about?"

Renesmee made a face. "I know, I know… but it's confusing. I mean, we're _not_ normal. For example, normal people don't have dreams like that."

"I'm pretty sure human beings have nightmares too, Nessie." She rolled her eyes.

"Jacob, you know what I mean. That was _me_ in that dream, beating you up. Stabbing you… _biting_ you. That isn't normal."

He gave her a hard look. "It wasn't you," he said firmly. "Those… things… in your dream, they might have looked like you, but they _weren't_ you." He reached up and touched her face gently. "I know you, and I know you'd never do anything to hurt me. It's just your brain doing crazy things. Everybody has weird dreams sometimes."

"I saw your face when we woke up," she said quietly. "You know it was more than just a dream."

Jacob couldn't deny that it had felt really real, moreso than a normal nightmare. But he'd chalked that up to the fact that Renesmee's gift had been so much stronger. Now, looking at Renesmee's face, he knew there was something more to it. "What do you think it was, then?"

Renesmee bit her lip once again. "Jake… I think I'm having premonitions."

He was sure his jaw must have dropped. "You mean like Alice?"

"No." She shook her head empathically. "It's not like Aunt Alice's visions at all. It only ever happens when I'm sleeping, in the form of dreams. And they're not always bad, just really realistic. It's never happened when I'm awake, and I don't think it will. I only had those kind of dreams very rarely before we moved here, but since we've been on our own I have them pretty regularly, like I said before."

Jacob took a deep breath, taking a moment to process that information. "Have any of them come true?" he asked slowly. Renesmee shook her head.

"Not yet."

"Then how do you know they're premonitions?" She shrugged.

"I don't… I just have this really strange feeling. It's… fatalistic, I guess. I have the dreams, and I just know they're something more. Not all of them are realistic enough for them to literally come true… but I think my brain is using symbolism and imagery to send me a message. Sometimes it feels almost like a warning." She shivered in his arms, and Jacob knew for a fact it wasn't because she was cold.

"Well, one thing's for sure: _that_ dream is never going to come true." She gave him a look that clearly said she wasn't convinced. "Nessie, come on. How could it? You'd never hurt me, we both know that."

Renesmee gave him a haunted look. "What if I do?" Jacob searched her face.

"Honey… this isn't the first time this has happened, is it? A dream like that?" She paused, and then shook her head.

"No. It's not the first time. But I've been able to brush it off before. This time… Well, you saw it. It was horrible. What are we supposed to do with that?"

Jacob didn't know. He knew Renesmee wanted him to believe her theory about premonitions, but she was upset, and besides, there was no proof. None of her dreams had come true. And just because Renesmee was usually right didn't mean she was right about this. Jacob ran a hand through her hair and smiled reassuringly. "We leave it alone, for now," he said softly. "Try not to let it get to us. We know we're both safe for now. We're in a loft full of sleeping wolves. Nobody's going to get us any time soon. And maybe we're extra careful from now on whenever we're separated, and we don't do anything crazy or reckless. Maybe it's just a warning, a sign that something bad _could_ happen if we're not cautious. Not a sure thing that's definitely going to play out like we saw it."

Renesmee looked doubtful, but she nodded. "Maybe. Okay." She turned her face into his chest and breathed in deeply. Jacob chuckled deeply. She was _smelling_ him. They really were just a pair of animals. He followed suit, leaning down and breathing in the scent of the skin where her jaw met her neck. This time it was Renesmee who laughed, a gentle little giggle that made Jacob's insides twist inside of his gut. Without realizing it, he began to growl low in his throat, which only made her giggle more. He gripped her to him with a sudden ferocity.

"I love you, Renesmee," he said, his lips moving against her neck. Each syllable was charged with the depth of his feelings for her, and she went very still at the sound of his voice. He wasn't sure exactly what had come over him, only that he was suddenly desperate for her to know the intensity of his love for her, an intensity he wasn't sure could be expressed within the pitiful boundaries of the English language. He felt one of her arms snaking up between their bodies (a small miracle, given how tightly he was gripping her) and her fingers crawled up towards his face until, suddenly, he felt a surge of powerful, all-encompassing emotion overtake his head and his heart. It was a gripping, immobilizing feeling, as though his heart was both exploding outwards and collapsing in upon itself at the same time. Jacob could do nothing but sit there and let the feeling wash over him in waves. It was so strong, so overwhelming, and yet so _familiar_ that he was not frightened by its intensity. When his brain adjusted to the point where he could have a clear thought again, he realized that he knew what it was: his love for Renesmee and her love for him, mirrored and multiplied and shot back at him through the magic of her gift.

When her hand dropped, he did nothing but sit there holding her for a long moment. When he found his voice, he said, "Exactly."

Renesmee turned her face up to his and offered her lips, which Jacob took enthusiastically. "I get it," she said when her mouth was free again, "I thought I'd try to show you."

"I'd call it a success, then," he said, and then he shook his head as if to clear it. "You know… we really need to talk about that."

"About what?" She said, and it was plain she had no idea what he was referring to. Jacob furrowed his brow.

"Your gift… how strong it's gotten. Have you told your father and Carlisle about the changes?"

"Changes?" She looked at him like he was crazy. "I'm not sure what you mean… I feel it the same way I always do: I think about something, or feel something, touch, transmit." She was starting to look worried. "You mean it's different than usual for you? How long? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you knew!" He frowned. "How could you not know?"

She pulled out of his grasp. "I'm not on the receiving end, Jacob… I can't tell what it's like for you, or anybody else. Tell me what you've noticed."

He reached out with a comforting touch. Things were spiraling beyond his control again, and Jacob didn't know if he could take another melt-down. Girls were _tough_ to handle. "Hang on," he said, "It's not that big a deal! It's just stronger. A lot stronger, mind you, but I'm sure it isn't anything to worry about. I mean, a lot about our relationship has changed in a really short period of time… living together, and then falling in love, and then there's the physical aspect, and the acknowledgement of my having imprinted on you. That's probably the reason your gift is so much stronger these days, when you use it on me."

Renesmee appeared to be considering it, and then she nodded slowly. "That makes a lot of sense," she admitted. "I still think you're right about mentioning it to Carlisle and my dad. But I guess it's probably not urgent. No need to get up and call them right now."

"Don't you dare." For what felt like the thousandth time in the past hour, he pulled her to him, and she went willingly. "If we're not going back to sleep, it sure as hell isn't going to be because you're talking to you _dad_."

"Oh yeah?" there was a hint of humour creeping into her voice, Jacob noted triumphantly. "And what do you suggest I do instead?"

Jacob looked down at her and smiled. "Well, since I don't have magic-telepathy-hands like you do, I guess I'm just going to have to show you for real."

Renesmee raised one doubtful eyebrow. "That so?"

She didn't have to ask again; Jacob wasted no time in proving to her that he had gifts of his own to share. Afterwards, Renesmee drifted off to sleep almost immediately, a peaceful smile on her face, and slept until morning with no sign of returning nightmares.

Jacob only wished, as he lay awake watching her, that he could say the same for himself.

**In the Next Chapter:**

"_Did I just get pulled into a romantic set-up plot? Tell me the truth, Ness," she whispered conspiratorially. Renesmee made a face._

_ "Okay, yes. But quiet about it…. Reed doesn't have a clue."_

_ Clara put her hands on her hips. "Ness, Ness, Ness. Don't you know that playing matchmaker with your friends never turns out the way you hope it will?"_


	30. Good

AN: Sorry (again) about the wait… whole world's against me, I swear. My poor little iBook finally died this week, after almost eight years of faithful service. RIP, iBook. Thankfully, I store my stories on external harddrives, so I didn't lose any of my work. But I've been without internet access for almost a week, so posting has been impossible.

The good news is, I'm now the proud owner of a new (used) MACBOOK! It's fast, it's pretty, and it makes writing much easier and much more fun! So I'll be cranking those chapters out double-time right quick, with any luck!

Thanks for your patience! Enjoy the new chapter, and please review! I'll get around to review responses over the next couple days.

**~Crit. **

**Chapter 30: Good**

Renesmee met Clara at Starbucks before their class on Monday morning. The young socialite had spent the weekend in London with her mother and stepfather, and was fresh from her chartered over-night flight, so she'd called Renesmee with instructions to meet her "where the caffeine lives". When she finally stumbled through the door, she gave Renesmee a bleary-eyed smile and held out a sleek box, wrapped in brown paper and tied with a ribbon.

"From Burberry," she said, the syllables slurring together, "Next season." Renesmee smiled and took the package, then placed a huge coffee cup in her friend's now-empty hand.

"From behind that counter back there," she quipped, "Mocha Red-Eye." Clara moaned gratefully and leaned forward to embrace her.

"Oh, you're the best friend anybody ever had," she said, not even sounding ironic. Renesmee placed the quote immediately.

"Alright, Dorothy, settle down and tell me all about your trip to Oz."

Clara quirked a smile as they sat down. "It was fun. The wicked witch was on her best behavior, for a change, and we actually had a nice visit. But there's no place like home. Mm," She took a huge swig of her coffee. "Thank you. This is perfect… I just need a minute and then we can go."

"Take your time," Renesmee insisted, focusing on her own coffee cup. The truth was, she didn't particularly relish the idea of going to class. Sure, she'd made up with Rideau the night before, but she was still a bit apprehensive about their friendship, and besides, there was Leah to consider. They still hadn't worked out a plan of action, and Renesmee was terrified that she'd give something away and mess things up. Or worse: Rideau's feelings for her could return, and then there'd really be trouble.

"So, what about you?" Clara said, effectively cutting off her train of thought. "Did you enjoy your non-Thanksgiving? Was your family just _ecstatic _to see you again after three whole months?" Clara's tone was gently mocking. Renesmee knew they had very different families, and that her friend found it both odd and endearing how close she was with hers. Clara's parents were divorced, she had no siblings, and now that she was grown the three of them were rarely even on the same continent. She didn't say it, but Renesmee guessed Clara was a bit envious of her large, close family.

"They were… but we also had a bit of a blow-out." At Clara's questioning look, Renesmee rolled her eyes and said, "I told them about Jacob. They were _not_ impressed."

"Holy cow." Clara took a swig of coffee and then looked at her wide-eyed. "Did your dad order a hit on him or something?" Renesmee chuckled and shook her head.

"How many times do I have to tell you: my dad is not involved with the mob. But seriously, there was almost some bloodshed. I had some doubt about whether or not I'd be making it to winter term. But here we are, back in town again, and everything's cool." She shrugged. Clara gave a low whistle.

"Sounds like a party. Okay… let's head, or we'll be late." They got up, pulled on their coats, Renesmee grabbed her parcel, and they headed for the door. As they strolled down the campus walk, Clara turned her head and fixed Renesmee with a long, hard look. "So, Ness, I've gotta ask: why haven't I met this guy of yours? You're apparently serious enough about him to jump his bones, live with him, and tell your whole family about your relationship at the risk of serious bodily harm to both of you, and yet you won't introduce him to your best girlfriend? What gives?"

Renesmee was startled to hear the word 'best' used in connection with their friendship. Did Clara really place her that high on the list of people in her life? Renesmee quickly thought over the details of their relationship. Since her break with Rideau, she and Clara had spent a lot of time together. She was the only female friend Renesmee had ever had who wasn't a member of her family or, for that matter, a supernatural being. They never failed to have a fantastic time when they were together, and conversation with Clara was almost like a really enjoyable game, one that Renesmee was never too tired or busy to play. Maybe that was what it was like to have a best friend, one who wasn't your predestined soulmate.

She purposefully ignored the comment, in case Clara had merely suffered a slip of the tongue and didn't really mean it. She'd file it away to examine later on. Instead, she took another sip of coffee. "You know, that's a really good question," she replied with a shrug. "It definitely wasn't on purpose! You guys have just been like trains passing in the night or something."

Clara snorted. "I swear to god, Ness, sometimes I think you're from a whole other era. 'Trains passing in the night'? Who says that?" She elbowed her playfully, and Renesmee bought a furious blush. "Anyway, I think it's about time, don't you? You can't keep him locked up forever."

"I'm not!" Renesmee protested a bit too vehemently. Clara looked at her from beneath raised eyebrows.

"Relax, Ness… I'm just joking."

"I knew that." She swiped her hair out of her eyes. "Anyway, you're right… it's about time I introduced you guys. He's just a bit busy right now… some of our friends from back home are staying with us, and they can be a bit of a handful."

Clara grinned, cat-like. "Perfect… I can meet them, too!" Renesmee just laughed.

When they walked into the lecture hall, she noticed with some surprise that Rideau was seated up front at their old desk, a pair of coffee cups in front of him. As they came through the door he turned around and shot her a sheepish smile accompanied by a little wave. She found herself yearning for their old, easy friendship all of a sudden, and when she looked over at Clara, the other girl just rolled her eyes and gestured towards the front of the lecture hall.

"Go, go!" She said in a hushed voice, urging her forward. Renesmee gave her a grateful look and started towards the front of the class.

"Hey, said Rideau as she sat down. "You already got coffee, I see." Renesmee looked down at the cup in her hand and made a face.

"What, this old thing?" She quickly downed the rest of the contents and tossed it in the direction of the wastebasket beside the professor's desk. "So unimportant. Bring it on!" Rideau chuckled and shook his head as she sat down.

"Here you go," he said with a small smile. "It's been a while coming."

"Yeah," Renesmee said, suddenly feeling a bit awkward. "Sorry about that."

"Don't," he said in an equally subdued tone. "If it's alright with you, I'd rather we just forget it and go back to normal."

"Okay," Renesmee said, unable to stop the smile that spread across her face at the idea of their friendship being the way it was before the fight, "Normal. Sounds good."

The lecture started, and they both listened and took notes with characteristic zeal. When the whole lesson was done and their notebooks were put away once more, Rideau turned to Renesmee and grinned.

"Don't suppose you want more coffee… how about we grab a bite?"

"Sounds great," she said, swinging her bag onto her shoulder and straightening her jacket. "What do you feel like?"

"Up to you," he said with a shrug. Renesmee had a sudden thought.

"I've actually got a whole bunch of food at home… the guys got hungry again and went late-night shopping. If it's all the same to you, why don't we take a walk over to my place and we can have something there? I've got nothing but time to kill… my afternoon class was cancelled."

Rideau looked thoughtful for a moment before nodding his agreement. "Okay, cool. Let's go."

They met up with Clara at the doorway to the lecture hall and Renesmee invited her as well, and she agreed enthusiastically. As they walked, Renesmee excused herself from the conversation for a moment in order to send off a quick text to Embry: _Reed coming home w me. Warn Leah, then clear out. _

Sure enough, when they arrived at the loft, things were quiet and peaceful, a sign that the three male wolves were nowhere to be found. Leah was on the couch with a book and a cup of tea, tranquilly turning pages. As they came through the door, the tendons on her neck stood out slightly, as if she was fighting very hard against some carnal impulse, but she didn't look up for at least a count of five, and when she did her face was a placid mask.

"Hey Nessie," she said just before she turned to face them, and then with a note of surprise, "Oh… Hi again." She nodded at Rideau. Renesmee turned to see his reaction; he was smiling back at her.

"Hey Leah. How was the food?"

"Just like you said… best Chinese food I've ever had." Rideau grinned even wider.

"Told you."

Clara cleared her throat and Renesmee realized she hadn't introduced her. "Sorry," she said quickly. "Leah, this is my friend Clara."

"DeWalt-Wilder," Clara added, stepping towards Leah with her hand extended. Renesmee fought a chuckle at that; she'd noticed how the socialite always seemed to announce her last name when meeting someone new. As if Leah would know or care about the meaning behind the names. There were no Wilders or DeWalts in her universe.

"Hi," Leah said, a little bit incredulously. Renesmee felt suddenly that it would be best to get the two girls in separate rooms as soon as she possibly could… she couldn't imagine two people less likely to get along.

"Clara, why don't you come into the kitchen with me and help me find something to eat," she said, pulling her friend by the arm. "Reed, make yourself at home."

"Are you sure? I can help…"

"No no. I insist. We'll be back in a bit." Renesmee managed to corral Clara into the kitchen. When she could hear the gentle hum of Leah and Rideau's resumed conversation, she turned to the other girl with an apologetic look. Clara, for her part, looked surprised and impressed in equal measure.

"Did I just get pulled into a romantic set-up plot? Tell me the truth, Ness," she whispered conspiratorially. Renesmee made a face.

"Okay, yes. But quiet about it…. Reed doesn't have a clue."

Clara put her hands on her hips. "Ness, Ness, Ness. Don't you know that playing matchmaker with your friends never turns out the way you hope it will?"

Renesmee shushed her, and then whispered in her lowest voice (that was audible to human ears, anyway), "So I've heard. But Leah really likes him…. And Leah doesn't like most people. And surprisingly, I can see how it might work. So I'm trying to help."

Clara shrugged. "Okay. Just don't come crying to me when they both end up with a huge grudge against you."

"I promise I won't." She opened the fridge. "Okay… what should I make?"

"I got this," Clara said, elbowing her gently out of the way. When Renesmee gave her a disbelieving look, Clara just raised an eyebrow. "What? I can cook." Renesmee smirked. "I can! My mother dated Gordon Ramsey for six months when I was eleven… he's much nicer in person. Likes kids."

Renesmee threw up he hands. "Fine… I defer to your mastery. Go nuts."

Several minutes later, they were carrying out trays full of grilled pesto chicken panini and salad greens. Clara nudged Renesmee as they walked in and saw Rideau and Leah, deep in conversation with each other.

"All right you two, break it up… soup's on. Well, technically, sandwiches. But you get my drift." Clara set down two plates in front of Leah and Rideau, and then turned back to Renesmee. "You know, Nessie, I just realized you haven't tried on your London souvenir yet. Why don't we take our lunch upstairs and we can see how it looks?" Renesmee hesitated for a moment before she caught on and nodded.

"I've actually been dying to see it. You two don't mind, do you?"

Rideau raised an eyebrow at her. "If you want to choose fashion over your friends, that's fine." When Renesmee looked horrified, he burst out laughing. "I'm kidding… go. We'll manage, right Leah?"

Leah nodded immediately, and then caught herself. "Somehow," she said in a voice that was positively thick with sarcasm. Renesmee rolled her eyes.

"Okay. We'll be right down." She grabbed her sandwich and her package and headed for the stairs with Clara on her heels.

"Once again, can I just tell you how much I adore your place?" Clara said as they headed down the hall towards the bedroom. "I want your mom and sister for my decorators when I finally move out of the hotel." Renesmee smirked. She was very used to hearing Esme and Alice referred to in that way. It had been her official cover story for most of her teenaged life.

"You'd keep Alice around for more than her decorating skills. She's also an incredible stylist… taught me everything I know." She didn't add that all of her clothing had actually been hand-picked by her aunt, and that she still couldn't find her way around a boutique by herself… what Clara didn't know wouldn't kill her. "I think you two would really get along, actually. I should introduce you next time she's in town." Clara closed the bedroom door behind them, and Renesmee interrupted her musing to look back at her. She found that her friend was standing with her arms crossed over her chest, looking at her skeptically. "What?' she asked warily.

"Okay, I get that you feel bad about rejecting Peter Parker down there. But seriously? Your friend is scary. She said exactly two words to me and still managed to fully convince me that she might want to eat my brain. Now, granted, I don't know her and you clearly do… but Ness, are you sure this is a good idea? I don't know Rideau very well either, but the few times we've hung out he's seemed like a pretty sweet guy. And from that meeting, I wouldn't guess that 'sweet' is a word many people use when describing your friend Leah."

Renesmee just stared at her, wide-eyed, for a moment. Then she frowned. "Look, I know she makes kind of a harsh first impression, but you don't know her. I barely know her, and I've been practically a part of her family for years."

Clara rolled her eyes. "Okay, I know some people take time to get. But I'm sticking to my guns on this one: she's scary."

"I'll give you that. But did Rideau look scared?"

That made Clara pause for a moment. "No," she said, sounding like her own answer had taken her by surprise. "He actually seemed perfectly comfortable. Huh." Renesmee nodded.

"You see? There's more to it than meets the eye. I know them both, and I'm telling you… it's weird, but it works." She smiled tentatively at her friend. "I'm sure Reed would appreciate your concern… but it's unfounded."

Clara shrugged it off. "Okay, whatever you say. I hope neither one of them ends up beating on you if it goes awry, that's all." She bounced to a seat on the bed. "Okay, open your parcel! I actually DO want to see how it looks!"

Renesmee laughed and put down her plate, then slid a finger under the brown paper and unwrapped the box. She lifted off the lid and pulled back the paper to reveal a classic Burberry trench in a dark chocolate brown. "Oh wow," she said, lifting it out of the box, "Clara… this is fabulous!" There would have been no way she'd have accepted such an obviously expensive gift from any other friend, but she knew that to Clara, the cost of the coat was a mere pittance. It was just like getting clothing from Alice; the cost was immaterial.

Clara looked pleased with herself. "Spring's only a few months off, and while I was buying one for myself I realized that my partner in crime needed to have one too. Mine's in the traditional tan, so we'll set each other off perfectly when we wear them together. Put it on!" Renesmee did as she was ordered; it fit like a glove. Clara clapped her hands together. "Aha! Now I know your size." She narrowed her eyes. "On a related note, I sort of hate you."

Renesmee rolled her eyes. "Oh, Whatever," she said, turning to her mirror and running her hands over the trench coat. It _was_ very flattering. She looked over her shoulder at Clara. "Thank you so much! I can't wait for us to take them out for a spin when it gets warmer."

"Don't even mention it."

When they made it back downstairs to Rideau and Leah, Renesmee was surprised to see that Embry had returned. They almost ran into him, in fact, as he was heading for the stairs as they were descending them.

"Don't mind me," he said as he skirted around them quickly, "I'm not even here… just forgot my wallet. I'll grab it and be out of your hair."

When he was the stairs and they were down, Clara grabbed Renesmee by the crook of her elbow and whispered in her ear, "Who was _that_?" Renesmee gathered by the look on her friend's face that she'd mistaken Embry for Jacob, and she rolled her eyes.

"That's Embry Call, Jake's best friend." Clara nodded.

"Oh. Okay. I thought he might be you-know-who," she said with a sneaky smile. "He's _cute_."

Renesmee snorted. "I guess. I never gave it any thought."

Rideau was looking towards them, and Leah was too, when her eyes weren't glued to _him_. Renesmee crossed the room and sat on the free couch, noting that Leah and Rideau were sharing the opposite one rather than sitting across from each other. In fact, they were leaning towards each other, even though she was fairly certain neither of them realized it. Their body language was clearly stating that they didn't mind being around each other in the slightest. Renesmee wondered suddenly if she and Jacob had looked the same way even before she'd realized her feelings for him.

"Ness," Rideau said, "This is your first winter in New York, right?" Renesmee nodded, and Rideau grinned and turned to Leah. "That settles it… she's never been, and you've never been, so we pretty much _have _to go." Leah groaned and squeezed her eyes shut, and Rideau laughed. Renesmee thought she might pass out from the combination of cute and weird.

"Where are we going?" She asked, dreading the answer.

"Rockefeller Centre," He replied as if it should have been obvious.

"Rideau seems to think it's a good idea for us to strap sharp things on our feet and then stick us on a slippery surface with hundreds of defenseless humans," Leah clarified. "I tried to convince him that he's making a grave error in judgment, but he wouldn't listen to me."

"She's never been skating in her life!" Rideau said. "It's criminal."

"Skating is for short girls and hockey players," Leah said, adding with a sarcastic half-smile, "And Canadians." Rideau didn't seem fazed by her dig.

"I'll take that as a compliment… my people consider skating to be a cherished national pasttime."

"Ha… your 'people'." Leah rolled her eyes at him, but there was a small smile on her face. "You mean Lumberjacks and Maple syrup farmers?"

Renesmee nearly choked on her own breath. Were they _flirting_ with each other? She glanced fleetingly at Clara, who was watching the scene in front of them with a mixture of confusion and admiration. The blonde noticed her looking and gave her a quick wink.

"Well I, for one, think it's a great plan," Clara piped up. Both Leah and Rideau looked rather surprised to hear from her, almost as if they'd forgotten she was in the room. "Not to mention an integral part of the New York holiday experience. I've been going since I could walk." Renesmee fought hard against the urge to laugh at the daggers Leah was shooting at Clara with her eyes. Rideau's grin was verging on goofy now.

"See? _Clara_ thinks it's a good idea. And she's a New Yorker… they know _everything_." Now Clara's look almost matched Leah's, and Renesmee actually _did_ laugh.

"Come on, Lee," They all turned to see Embry coming down the stairs, wallet in hand. "It kind of sounds like fun." Renesmee wondered if anybody else noticed the pointed look he shot his pack sister. "Why not make the most of your visit?"

The glare Leah gave him could have knocked out a man who wasn't used to being on the receiving end of such a look, but it melted away as she turned back to Rideau. "Okay… you win. I'll _try_ it. But I can't be blamed for the ensuing carnage."

Rideau waved her comment away. "It's an unwritten rule: Nobody can be held responsible for the destruction involved in first-time skating. The authorities almost always turn a blind eye."

Embry met Renesmee's eye as he passed, and he pulled a quick face that clearly showed he was as stunned by Leah and Rideau's flirting as she was. She put a hand over her mouth, trying to look casual as she hid her silent laughter. Embry turned and headed for the door; she was pretty sure he was laughing, too. Clara got up with a stretch.

"I've got to get back to campus… My 'Theory and Practice' seminar starts in twenty, and if I don't pick seats strategically, the Greasy kid is gonna try to sit next to me." She made a face at the thought.

Rideau looked down at his watch, startled. "I didn't realize we'd been here so long," he said, sounding a bit dazed. "I should get going too… I have a class to T.A." He got up from the couch as well; Renesmee noticed that Leah rose with him, almost like her actions were dictated by his. She kept a respectable distance as he pulled on his boots and coat, but Renesmee could almost see the magnetic pull between them. It was bizarre to witness, and again she found herself wondering if that was what it was like to watch her and Jacob interacting.

Clara had one foot out the door already, and Renesmee wondered absent-mindedly what the sudden hurry was. Maybe she just didn't want to be late for class. As Rideau joined her in the doorway, he turned and looked at both Renesmee and Leah in turn.

"Pick a day, you two, we _will_ go skating."

Leah rolled her eyes towards the ceiling as Renesmee shooed them out the door with a "Yeah, we'll be in touch."

"I'm serious!" Rideau's voice came from the other side of the closed door. "We're getting you on that ice, Leah." The soft _ping_ of the elevator door signaled their departure. Renesmee waited a few moments before turning to Leah with arms crossed over her chest and eyebrows raised.

"What?" Leah said defensively after realizing Renesmee didn't intend to start the conversation. "Stop… looking at me. It's creepy."

"What do you think you're doing?"

Now Leah was frowning actively. Good. Renesmee wanted her to get the point. "Oh, gee Nessie, I thought I was entertaining your guest, whom you so graciously abandoned to go play dress-up with your fashionista friend. What did it look like to you?"

Renesmee just stared her down. "You can't possibly be thick enough to think I did that by accident. Or to miss the fact that he was trying to ask you to go out with him. You may be lacking a number of social skills, Leah, but guile is not one of them." Leah at least had the decency to appear slightly cowed.

"All right, all right, fine." She exhaled slowly and walked back over to the couch, sitting down hard. "I know you were trying to give us a chance to talk. And we did, and it was good. But then he started talking about places in the city I hadn't seen and how I should go see them while I'm here, and he offered to go with me, and I got…"

"Scared?" Renesmee took a seat opposite the other woman and leaned forward, elbows on knees. Leah scowled back at her.

"Yes, okay? I got _scared_, I… chickened out." She heaved a tremendous sigh and fell back into the couch cushions. Renesmee felt her expression soften. She'd been trying to go with tough love, thinking it was probably her best shot at getting Leah to step up her game. But she couldn't help feeling a pang of sympathy for the poor girl.

"But why, Leah?" She asked. "You guys were clearly having a great conversation, you were even flirting with each other— " at that, Leah made a doubtful noise, "—and don't try to deny it… as weird as it is, I know what I saw. I would have thought you'd jump at the opportunity to spend some more time with him, and from the sounds of things it was even his idea."

Leah ran a hand through her short hair and frowned. "He was probably just being nice." Renesmee snorted.

"People don't usually offer to spend time showing almost-strangers around the town for the sake of just being nice. If Rideau was trying to suggest things for you to do in the city and offering to accompany you, it probably means he likes you, at the very least as a friend. So I repeat: What were you doing? This guy, who is very important to your health and happiness, is asking you on what is at best a date, at worst a pleasant outing with a new friend, and you're fighting him tooth and nail to get out of it?" She shook her head. "Not smart."

Leah was regarding her carefully, and Renesmee had to fight not to shrink under her intense gaze. "Wow. You've really taken this whole 'Brutal Honesty' thing and run with it, haven't you?" While her first instinct was to apologize immediately, Renesmee simply shrugged.

"Thought you'd prefer it over insincere simpering."

"So did I," Leah muttered, then she sighed again. "Okay, look, I know I screwed up. I just got freaked out and didn't know if I could handle it… I mean, do you have any idea when the last time somebody asked me out was? I'll give you a hint: you were still in diapers."

"That's probably because of the sign above your head reading: 'approach me and lose a limb'." Renesmee raised an eyebrow and stared, as did Leah. The shifter was the first to crack: first with a small upwards tilt at the corner of her mouth, then a chuckle, then a full-out guffaw. Renesmee laughed along with her, glad for the break in the tension. When their laughter eased up, Leah shook her head and settled back into the couch cushions, actually seeming much more relaxed.

"I guess you've got a good point there… I haven't been the most approachable person in the world."

"You don't say," Renesmee said with a sarcastic smile. "And yet, for some reason, Rideau doesn't seem fazed by it at all. I'd count that on your side, if I were you."

Leah had a contemplative look on her face. "It's so weird, but you're right on… he _isn't_ fazed by it. Did you know that yesterday, when we were talking, he actually said I seemed more approachable than Jacob?"

"Ouch… poor Jake." Renesmee was pleased to see that Leah was laughing again.

"I know… he must have made a _really_ bad impression." Laughter—even just honest smiling—changed Leah's face to the point where Renesmee almost didn't know if she was looking at the same person. Leah already looked far younger than her thirty-six years; when she laughed, not in sarcasm but in real, honest humour, she looked younger still. "But still, I can't believe he thought I was approachable at all."

Renesmee studied Leah's face. "You really don't realize how you are around him, do you?"

"What do you mean, 'How I am'?" She looked slightly affronted. Renesmee was quick to explain.

"Don't take this in a weird way, but you're… different when he's around. Not hugely, not so much that you're not _you_… but it's just that you seem more, I don't know… charming?" She winced. She wasn't sure exactly how Leah would react to being called "charming", and she wasn't sure she wanted to find out.

"What?" Leah looked genuinely shocked. "You've _got_ to be joking."

"Not really." Renesmee shrugged. "It's funny, given that I know you're totally on-edge about the whole thing, but you actually seem more comfortable in a way. It's like you settle into this… rhythm… when he's around. It's actually sort of fascinating to watch."

Leah seemed to consider the idea. "I think," she said slowly, "I know what you mean. I've just never thought of it as charming, given the circumstances under which I've observed it." She gave Renesmee a look that was inches away from sheepish. "You and Jacob, for example… I guess you know I haven't exactly been thrilled about the two of you. But when you were born, it was like he was suddenly… I dunno, there was just this sort of peace that settled over him, like he'd worked out some problem he'd always been trying to solve, and he was just _content_ to have the answer." She grinned then. "I was pretty disgusted by it."

"Oh, understandably." Renesmee smiled back. "I mean, I'm pretty gross."

"Nah, you're not so bad." Leah smirked at her. Then something changed behind her eyes. "Besides, it wasn't the first time I'd seen it. That was worse."

"Sam and Emily," Renesmee said before she could stop herself. Leah snapped to attention.

"You know about that?" Renesmee bit her lip and nodded, and Leah muttered a word Renesmee had heard before from the wolves but had never understood. "He _would_ tell you, wouldn't he?"

"I'm sorry… it's not his fault, I practically drew it out of him." Leah waved her off.

"You know what? Forget about it… it doesn't matter. You'd find out eventually anyhow. Everybody else knows. What's one more person?" She was trying her best to be dismissive, but Renesmee could see the old tension returning to her shoulders.

"Leah… don't be upset. I'm glad I know… I needed to hear it. It made me think a lot about Jacob and me, and I think because I know the story of what happened between you and Sam and Emily, I'm always going to be mindful of how I let our imprint affect our lives. There's more to the world than just me and Jake, even though sometimes it's easy to ignore that fact."

"Oh." Leah's expression was unreadable. Renesmee was beginning to feel horrible for bringing it up.

"I'm really sorry."

Leah looked at her as if she was startled by the sound of her voice. "What? Why are _you_ sorry? You didn't do anything to me."

"I know that," Renesmee admitted quietly, "But I'm sorry just the same."

Leah frowned. "Nessie, I know you're trying to be sympathetic, but the last thing I need is your pity. It doesn't help, and it doesn't make me feel better."

That was Leah, Renesmee reflected: honest to a fault. "I don't pity you. I just feel bad about being in your face about my imprint with Jacob all these years. Even if I didn't have any idea, I still feel a bit responsible… and you must have been _so_ sick of having me around."

Leah snorted. "Hah. Well in that case… thank you." She looked down at her hands, resting together in her lap, and then back up at Renesmee. Her eyes were narrowed slightly, and there was a vulnerability in them that Renesmee didn't think she'd ever seen there before. "Do I really seem different? Less… you know…"

"Yes," Renesmee said quietly, cutting her off, "But not less anything. _More_ something."

Leah let out a slow, deliberate breath. "I feel it. But I didn't know it was something anybody else could see."

"Leah… I promise you, everybody worth thinking about is glad to see it." She gave the other woman a tentative smile. "It's totally weird… but it's good."

Leah nodded slowly. "It's good," she repeated.

**In the Next Chapter:**

"_You," Jacob said, pointing his finger at Renesmee for emphasis, "Are deceitful."_

"_You," she said, imitating his tone of voice, "Are just sore 'cause you weren't in on the plan."_

"_I wasn't in on the plan," Seth interjected, "And for the record, I think it's hilarious."_


	31. Acting Up

**a/n:** Hi guys!

Here's the next one… it took a little longer than expected because I did a major rewrite. I received a lot of requess for more Jacob and Nessie, and while there's lots of that on the horizon, I figured I could give you guys a bit of the lovebirds now, as well!

WARNING: There is a non-explicit scene of a sexual nature at the end of this chapter. That means naked people, and some heavy innuendo, but no graphic stuff. Just in case you object, you might want to stop after Jake and Nessie make their retreat upstairs.

I'll be replying to reviews from the next chapter tomorrow or Tuesday. Stay tuned! A huge thank-you to all the reviewers… you guys are wicked, I love you!

Enjoy!

~Crit.

**Chapter 31: Acting Up**

The girls made plans to go skating with Rideau on Thursday afternoon, seeing as neither Renesmee or Rideau had classes that evening. Leah spent morning being poked and prodded by Renesmee and Embry, who seemed to have taken a vested interest in her wardrobe. Jacob listened to the turmoil on the other side of the guest room door with amusement, happy to hear his imprint and beta's friendly bickering. Embry emerged around noon with an announcement that Leah was suitably dressed.

"Your sister," he said to Seth as he joined the rest of his pack in Jacob's bedroom, "is quite possibly the most difficult woman I've ever met."

Seth didn't even bother to look away from the Xbox game he and Jacob were playing as he replied, "You're just now discovering this?" Jacob laughed as Embry sat down heavily on the bed and rubbed his eyes as if he had a headache.

"There are layers to her stubbornness, as it turns out," he said, sounding very put-upon. "Jacob, I would like to nominate your girlfriend for sainthood."

"Ha! Why's that?" Jacob tried to ignore the swell of pride he felt at hearing Renesmee praised.

"She has the bravery of heart to go near Leah with a makeup bag. And since she'll probably end up a martyr because if it, sainthood shouldn't be that much of a longshot." Seth was laughing so hard that Jacob was able to easily overpower and decapitate his pack-brother's character, ending the game. He turned to Embry and saw that the other man was now laying down with his hands over his face.

"Good thing you escaped when you did then, I guess," he said, not the slightest bit worried for Renesmee's well-being. The whole joke of the situation was that everybody thought Leah had the hardest head of any of them. Jacob knew the truth… in an all-out test of wills, Renesmee would bury his Beta, hands down.

Embry turned just his head to peer at Jacob through his fingers. "Seriously. If I didn't love that woman so much, I'd probably kill her."

"I know how you feel, my friend," Seth said, jumping up from his place on the floor and bouncing onto the bed to sit at Embry's feet. "You know what makes it better? Killin' stuff!" He tossed his Xbox controller at Embry's head; the other wolf caught it right before impact and sat up, turning towards the game. Jacob, in turn, lobbed his controller at Seth.

"You two duke it out," he said charitably. "I'm going to go get dressed."

By the time he'd showered and gotten his clothes on, Renesmee was back in their room, reclining on the bed in a very similar position to the one in which he'd just seen Embry. Jacob chuckled as he came out of the walk-in closet, and Renesmee lifted her hands and glowered at him.

"Until you've had a five-minute verbal sparring match with your dear Beta about the merits and perils of eyelash curlers, you have absolutely no place laughing at me." She replaced her hands with a slight groan.

Jacob sat down beside her and leaned into the pillows. "Tell me, did you and Embry plan to join the Drama Club on the same day, or did it just work out that way?" The glare he earned in reply would have felled a lesser man, but Jacob wasn't the least bit intimidated. "Honestly, Sweetheart… you could have just let her get ready on her own. She manages to dress herself on a daily basis without your help."

"Jacob, she _asked _for my opinion. She's insecure, she doesn't think she's the least bit socially acceptable the way she is on her own. And I'm happy to help her… I just wish she wouldn't balk at every suggestion I make."

"Well, your Aunts would be very proud of your persistence." He gave her a quick kiss on the forehead. "I'll let you get dressed."

Renesmee sighed. "Oh yeah… that. Okay, I'm up. I'll be downstairs in a few." She pulled his face back towards hers and kissed him back, this time on the lips, then got up and disappeared into the ensuite bathroom.

Jacob wandered downstairs to find that Leah was already there, sitting stalk-still at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee gripped tensely between her hands. He took a moment to survey his Beta before speaking up; distracted as she was, she hadn't noticed him coming down the stairs. He had to admit it… she looked _good_. It wasn't exactly the radical transformation Embry and Renesmee's behavior had suggested. Instead, there were a number of subtle differences that added up to a very pleasing total package. Leah was dressed casually, but it was a different casual than usual. Her old, faded jeans had been replaced with a much darker and more fitted pair, and she was wearing a soft-looking sweater in a deep forest green. Jacob didn't know anything about brands, but he could tell that Leah's clothes were high-quality, and probably very expensive. So Nessie had done some shopping, then. Her short hair didn't really require much styling, but it _did _look extra-shiny on this particular morning, and Renesmee had probably played some part in that, too. She was also wearing make-up, something that Jacob didn't know if he'd ever seen before. Again, nothing too obvious, and someone who didn't know Leah all that well might just think she looked especially nice, but to Jacob it was a surprising change. Leah had always been pretty, but now she looked polished, put-together. Like some graceful, strange, womanly creature. It was strange.

And now she was looking back at him with a note of irritation. Jacob quickly averted his eyes, but Leah had already seen him staring, and he could feel her glare without having to look over at her.

"I'll thank you not to gape at me, Jacob," She said testily. He gave her an apologetic smile and went to pour himself a coffee.

"Sorry, Lee. Couldn't help it… I'm not used to seeing you look so much like a _girl_." She groaned softly.

"It's too much, isn't it?" Jacob looked over and saw her fiddling with the shiny beaded chain around her neck. "I mean, look at me… I'm wearing _jewelry _for Christ's sake! What's wrong with me?" Jacob sat down across from her at the small table. He reached over and gently placed one hand over hers.

"Relax," he said softly, "It's perfect. You look nice… there's nothing wrong with that."

Leah stopped dead and regarded him for a long moment before smacking his hand lightly away. "Whatever," she said, burying her face in her coffee cup. Jacob wanted to laugh but fought against the urge, not wanting to set her any further on edge than she already was.

From the other room, Jacob heard the soft sound of Renesmee coming down the stairs, and he peered around the doorway. When he caught sight of her, he almost fell out of his chair. She looked terrible. She'd taken her hair out of its braid, and it lay in messy tangles over her shoulders. She was wearing pajamas and a robe, and had a blanket wrapped tightly around her body. Her normal pallor was accentuated by white lips and a red, irritated-looking nose. All in all, she looked like a very, very ill human being. Jacob was about to get to his feet when she caught his eye and shook her head furiously. At his look of confusion, she simply brought a finger to her bloodless lips and gave him a quick half-smile before disappearing from his line of sight.

Jacob glanced over at Leah. She was still in her own little world, staring into her coffee cup, and hadn't even noticed his exchange with Renesmee. He was about to open his mouth to say something, anything, to distract her, when a knock on the door cut him off. Leah immediately sat up straight as a pole and her head whipped towards the sound of the noise. Her entire body looked like it was subject to a magnetic pull, centered on the front door. Jacob wasn't sure whether he wanted to react with sympathy or humour. He decided on the former.

"I'll get it," he said graciously, rising to his feet. Leah gave him a grateful look. "Pull yourself together," he said quietly but kindly.

As he left the kitchen, he turned to look at Renesmee, who was now huddled on the couch, still wrapped in the blanket. There was a box of tissues tucked between the couch cushions and her side, with several used pieces wadded up and scattered around her. He stopped in his tracks for a moment. She shot him another warning look and motioned him towards the door. Jacob just shook his head and went. He had begun to understand exactly what she was trying to pull. Leah was not going to be impressed, but he had to admit that he was.

Rideau was waiting on the other side of the door, and his eyebrows raised in mild surprise as he saw Jacob framed by the doorway. "Oh, hey," he said a bit awkwardly. Jacob fought the urge to bare his teeth. He still didn't like the guy. But he clearly wasn't going anywhere, and it wouldn't make things easier on Leah for Jacob to antagonize the poor bastard.

"Hi," he said in the nicest tone he could manage, and then he stepped aside to let Rideau into the apartment. "Come on in."

"Hey Reed," came Renesmee's voice from the direction of the couch. It was weak and a bit coarser than usual. Jacob smirked, then quickly resolved his face into a neutral mask before anyone could see. He looked over at Rideau; the other man had caught sight of Renesmee, and had a sympathetic look on his face.

"Aw, Ness, are you sick?"

Renesmee nodded, a miserable expression on her face. Leah had appeared in the kitchen doorway, and was looking sharply in her direction, but Renesmee just ignored her. With a pathetic little sniffle, she said, "I think I've got the flu. I woke up this morning feeling just awful… I think you guys are going to have to go without me."

"_Nessie_," Leah began, her voice very low, "Are you _sure_ you're not feeling up to it?"

She shook her head. "I don't even know if I can stand right now, let alone skate. But you two should still go… I'll be even more miserable if I ruin everybody's day." Jacob was now trying very hard not to crack up. He knew that Leah would probably let Renesmee have it later for springing this plot on her at the last minute, that is if things didn't work out to her advantage.

Rideau just looked concerned as he regarded Renesmee. She saw him watching and gave him a weak smile. He smiled back, sympathetically, then turned to Leah. "You still feel like going? I mean, if you'd rather wait for Nessie, we could reschedule." He seemed to be under the impression that Renesmee and Leah were best buddies. As if Jacob needed another reason to fight back his laughter.

Leah looked quickly over at Renesmee, who gave another sniffle and said, "Please go, you guys. I'll feel terrible if you don't." Leah shrugged and turned to Rideau. Jacob was almost amazed at the level of calmness she exuded, considering he knew exactly how much anxiety she was experiencing. It seemed he was surrounded by brilliant actresses.

"I'm still up for it," she said easily, and then, with a self-effacing smile, "I actually got excited about making a fool of myself in front of half of New York City."

Rideau chuckled and shook his head. "You won't be the only one, I promise."

"Sure, sure." Leah rolled her eyes. "Just let me grab my coat and then we can get this horror show on the road."

Rideau gave a little wave toward Renesmee as Leah pulled on her coat and boots. "Feel better, Ness," he said.

"Yeah Nessie," Leah said, all sweetness. As Jacob watched, she shot them both another glare behind Rideau's back. "Drink lots of fluids."

"I will," she replied with a little cough. "Bye guys, have fun!"

"Jacob," Rideau said, nodding towards him. Jacob nodded back.

"Rideau." He followed them as they went through the door, closing it behind them.

When he heard the elevator arrive and the doors close, and he was sure they were out of earshot, he turned to Renesmee and crossed his arms over his chest. She was grinning at him sheepishly, already throwing off the blanket and untying her robe.

"Oh, now what was _that_?" He said, as if it wasn't abundantly clear. Renesmee began gathering up 'used' tissues from the couch cushions.

"Brilliant! Inspired! In_gen_ious!" answered Seth's disembodied voice, right before he bounded into view, barreling down the stairs at top speed. Embry was following him at a much more laid-back pace, and he too was grinning knowingly. Seth leapt onto the couch beside Renesmee and shook her enthusiastically by the shoulders. "What a performance! Call the Academy, Jacob, your woman's a star!" Renesmee pushed him away in mock irritation, looking quite proud of herself.

"Knock it off, Seth," She said, getting up from the couch. "You should be mad at me for deceiving your sister, and I should be mad at you for eavesdropping."

Embry moved to stand beside Jacob. He was watching Renesmee and Seth with a self-satisfied expression, and as Jacob examined his pack brother's face, a realization came to him.

"You were in on this, weren't you?" He accused. Embry looked over at him with a smirk.

"You could say that," he replied. Renesmee walked by and high-fived him.

"In on it?" She said, coming to a stop in front of Jacob, "It was his idea."

Jacob shook his head. How had the two of them managed to pull off this heist without him knowing they were up to something? Embry smacked him on the back. "Don't feel bad," he said, "We had to figure out some way to get the two of them alone, and we knew Leah would try to just back out if we told her ahead of time. We couldn't tell you… you'd've let something slip."

"You're damn right I would have!" Jacob looked between the two of them incredulously. "I like you both better alive than ground up in meat pies. Jesus… you know she's going to _kill_ you, right?"

"She'll forgive us… eventually." Embry and Renesmee exchanged an uncertain look.

"Hey Nessie, how'd you learn to fake sick like that?" Seth called from the couch.

"Yeah," Jacob said, fixing her with a hard look. "You've never even so much as had a hangnail, never mind the flu." Renesmee just rolled her eyes.

"I _have_ seen a sick person before, you know. Besides… Rideau thinks I'm human. It's winter. They're _all_ sick right now. A little make-up and some sniffing, and I fit right in."

"You," Jacob said, pointing his finger at her for emphasis, "Are deceitful."

"You," she said, imitating his tone of voice, "Are just sore 'cause you weren't in on the plan."

"I wasn't in on the plan," Seth interjected, "And for the record, I think it's hilarious."

Jacob snorted. "Yeah, Seth. We know."

Seth ignored him pointedly and flicked on the television. Jacob shook his head (albeit fondly). He became dimly aware that Renesmee was discreetly elbowing him in the side. When he looked down at her quizzically, she inclined her head slightly towards the stairs.

"I'm going to get out of this ridiculous disguise," she said to the room at large, "As impossible as it is, I'm actually starting to _feel_ like a sick person in this get-up." Embry and Seth both chuckled at that from the sofa, where both of them were now sitting. Jacob didn't even bother to excuse himself as he follwed behind her; unlike Renesmee, he was not under the impression that they would care or even notice if he disappeared for a little while. Not while there was TV on.

"So," he said to her when they were firmly behind closed doors, and Renesmee had finished giving her face a good scrub to remove the makeup, "I guess that means you've got yourself an afternoon off."

"Hmm," Renesmee said, trying to look as though she hadn't considered it, "I guess it does. I hadn't really thought about it."

"You know, despite what Seth says, you're not really that great of an actress."

"So mean!" Renesmee said, not really looking all that hurt. She undid the tie on her oversized bathrobe and let it fall to the floor, right there in the middle of the room. Jacob nearly choked. _That _was not the lingerie of a sick person. "And when all I'm doing is trying to be nice."

"Um. 'Nice' isn't exactly the word I would have chosen." Renesmee just grinned and took a couple steps towards him. Jacob's hands wrapped around her waist of their own accord, and her grin widened. "Not that I'm complaining, Nessie, but something strange has gotten into you today."

She gave a little shrug. "What can I say? All this matchmaking has put me in a really giving frame of mind. And I figured, since I've been spending all this time on Leah, the least I can do is spend a little on my own boyfriend."

"Oh," Jacob replied intelligently, the single syllable stretching out longer than usual as she closed the distance between their bodies. He was just about to give into her seduction and throw her on the bed when he remembered his two pack members downstairs. "Sweetheart," he said reluctantly, planting his face in the top of her head, "It's the middle of the day, and we're not alone."

"We will be," she said, pulling back a bit to give him another brilliant grin. "I slipped Embry a fifty and told him to grab Seth and clear out for a bit. If they're not gone by now, they should be leaving momentarily." They both stopped and listened, and Jacob turned his nose towards the door. Sure enough, no sounds from downstairs, and the scents of his pack members had faded to the point where Jacob was sure they'd left. He hadn't even noticed, distracted as he was by his almost-naked soulmate.

"You are far sneakier than I thought," Jacob told her, this time with a grin of his own. Again, she shrugged.

"Who's to say I can't have ulterior motives to my altruism?"

"God I love you," Jacob said, his voice almost a growl.

"Prove it," Renesmee said. So she was in _that_ kind of mood… Jacob raised an eyebrow at her, and they stared each other down for a moment in a sort of test of wills.

Then, in one sharp motion, he tore the two tiny pieces of lingerie from her body.

"That the kind of proof you were looking for?" He asked as she drew in a quick, surprised breath. To her credit, Renesmee recovered quickly.

"That just proves you don't care much for my underwear," she quipped, deadpan. She looked down at the lacy wreckage. "Alice will be so displeased."

"I don't give a flying fuck about Alice right now," Jacob said frankly. "I'm honestly more concerned about the fact that I went to all that trouble to help you undress and yet you still haven't lifted a finger to help me out of my clothes." He gave her a pointed look. "That's just lazy, honey."

"Lazy?" her eyes widened, and then narrowed almost immediately. "Jacob Black, I'm insulted." She deftly stepped around him and, to his surprise, dropped herself onto the bed, laying on her side with her head propped up on one hand. "And in return for that little comment, I'm just going to lay here and show you exactly how lazy I can be."

Jacob took a moment to survey her naked form, stretch out across the mattress. It was getting harder and harder to keep up the façade of nonchalance, but he managed to hold it in place as he said, "Fine. I hope you enjoy watching me do all the work."

He took his time as he pulled off his shirt. One of the many advantages of his special lineage was that he would always have perfectly flawless musculature, and he was definitely aware of how it affected Renesmee. Since they had been together romantically, she really hadn't made any secret of how much she enjoyed looking at him without a shirt on, in spite of the fact that it was a sight she'd been used to for her whole life. It was different now, she insisted, because she felt like she had some sort of claim on those muscles. Jacob was inclined to agree with her.

As he pulled his shirt over his head, he caught a glimpse of her face. Her eyes were smoldering, and her blasé mask was slipping just a little. With a small yet devious smile, he unbuttoned his jeans and moved to pull them down.

"Jacob," she said in a much less boisterous voice than she'd been using. "Stop."

He stopped immediately and met her eyes. She was still staring at him with open desire, but she was now sitting up, right on the edge of the bed, leaning slightly towards him. "What is it?" He asked, unsure.

"Come here," she said, reaching for him with one hand. He did, without hesitation. "I changed my mind," she said, putting her hands on the waistband of his pants, "I want to help you."

Jacob felt relieved, and he smiled down at her as he said quietly, "You know what this means, right?"

She rolled her eyes. "I caved first," she said, "You win."

"I _win_."

"Don't push it," she warned, and he laughed.

"Okay." He paused. "But seriously… can you take off my pants now?"

"I can," she said generously. And then she did.

Jacob let out a happy, relieved groan as she pulled him (now free of his pants) onto the bed beside her. "What a fucking _fantastic _idea," he said, running one hand up the entire length of her body.

"I know, right?" She mimicked his action, and he couldn't think of anything other than the feeling of her warm hand sliding over his skin. "A whole afternoon to ourselves." Her voice sounded absolutely blissful at the thought, and totally normal once again.

"Are we done being all weird and seductive? I only ask because I want to kiss you, and I need to know how to go about it so that I won't be mocked." He said jokingly. Renesmee snickered.

"I already got you naked and into bed. I think that about taps out my seduction bank. I'm afraid you'll have to make do with just regular me from here on out."

Jacob grinned and slid his arms right around her. "Good." And then he kissed her, slowly and soundly.

For Jacob, their mating was sometimes like a frenzy, brought on by animal instincts stronger than his human ones. He _needed_ her, needed to claim her fully and completely, to satisfy some base impulse at the centre of him. This was not one of those times. This was one of the times when it was just the two of them, animals for certain, but human too, and fully aware of that humanity. Every single touch between them brought his feelings for her so close to the surface that he felt he might explode. He knew it was the same for her, not because she transmitted it using her gift, but because he simply _knew_. In that moment, there was no other world except this one, in which their bodies were as close to being the same body as possible. This was no frenzy, this was a moment that could go on for days, for years.

Maybe forever.

**In the Next Chapter:**

"_You have to pull the laces really tight," Rideau told her as they sat down to change into their rented skates. "Let me know if you have trouble… sometimes it can be hard to get them tight enough, especially if the leather's cold." Leah rolled her eyes._

"_I'm pretty sure I can handle it," she said. It was kind of cute that he assumed he was stronger than her. In a totally ignorant way._

**Please Review!**


	32. Pairs Skate

**AN:** First of all, thanks to all of the readers for your patience in between updates. I know I've been saying that I'm aiming for two weekly updates, but as you can tell it's a struggle for me to even post once per week right now. Hopefully I'll eventually get back on course, but in the meantime it's going to have to be once per week. Sorry! I DO try to keep my chapter over 3000 words in length, which I hope makes up for the infrequency of the updates, at least in part.

So here it is, as a special post-valentine's day/winter olympics treat for all of you: Leah and Rideau's skating adventure! I hope you enjoy it… it was so much fun to write these two feeling their way through a not-quite-date!

Thanks to all of the reviewers… sorry it took me so long to respond to your wonderful comments! I really do appreciate every review I get, and I'd love to hear from each and every person who's reading this story. And I do respond personally to all of my reviewers. I guess my point is, you should review!

Thanks, as always, for reading! Enjoy!

~Crit.

**Chapter 32: Pairs Skate**

Rideau was shocked to discover that Leah had a car in the city. "Nobody drives here," he said by way of explanation as thy headed towards the parking garage. "Generally speaking, it's a bit too frustrating dealing with the traffic, and New Yorkers have short fuses to begin with. But if you think you can tough it out, why not?"

"I'm pretty sure I can handle it," Leah replied breezily, hitting the power locks. The convertible's lights flashed, and Rideau raised an eyebrow.

"Nice car. Volkswagons are the way to go. I had a Toureg when I lived up north… good on the icy roads." He climbed into the passenger side as Leah got behind the wheel.

"You should have seen Jake's old car," she said, smiling as she remembered. "He had this Rabbit that he restored as a teenager. It was a classic."

"Was?"

"Well… Seth and I sort of totaled it." She gave him a sideways look. Rideau had an amused expression on his face.

"Should I be worried about being in the car with you behind the wheel?"

Leah shrugged. "My driving hasn't killed anyone… yet."

Rideau laughed, clearly not taking her seriously. Leah turned on the car, and, remembering with a jolt that she was in the company of a man with normal human physiology, cranked the heat. Big mistake; the resulting blast of air from the vents hit Rideau's skin and filled the air with his scent. Leah quickly turned her face towards the driver's side window, under the guise of checking her mirrors, so that he wouldn't catch sight of the stricken expression on her face. There was a single, unbearable moment when she wasn't sure if she'd be able to stand it, but she managed to reign herself in and arrange her face into a neutral expression before turning forward again. She would simply have to breathe as little as possible throughout the drive.

They managed to make it to the center of the city with a minimum of road-rage induced swearing on Leah's part. The few times that she did succumb to the urge to curse the other drivers, she was hugely embarrassed. But Rideau seemed to simply find it amusing. "This is why people take subways," he said, gesturing to the gridlock in front of them.

"Point taken, smartass," she ground out as she tried to ignore the loud honking from the cabbie who'd just sideswiped her. Rideau just chuckled and leaned back in his seat.

"I'm just going to go ahead and get comfortable… this could take a while."

Finally, after what felt like several hours of tense driving, but was only in reality about thirty minutes, they found a lot that actually had spaces, parked, and strolled over to the rink. It was full of people in colorful coats, swirling around on the ice.

"See? Isn't it great?" Rideau had a huge grin on his face. Leah had to laugh.

"You Canadians really love your winter sports," she said, shaking her head. Rideau shrugged.

"We'll make a convert of you yet. C'mon… let's go." Leah took a deep breath and looked at him doubtfully.

"I don't know about this," she said, making a face. He just shook his head and pulled her towards the skate rental window.

"You have to pull the laces really tight," Rideau told her as they sat down to change into their rented skates. "Let me know if you have trouble… sometimes it can be hard to get them tight enough, especially if the leather's cold." Leah rolled her eyes.

"I'm pretty sure I can handle it," she said. It was kind of cute that he assumed he was stronger than her. In a totally ignorant way. As it turned out, her problem wasn't being able to get the laces tight enough, but accidentally pulling them _too_ tight; she actually had to backtrack and loosen them a bit when she realized she was about to lose circulation to her foot.

In her skates, Leah was easily over six feet tall. She stood carefully and focused hard on not letting her ankles turn as she made a feeble attempt to walk forward. The rink was only a few feet away… she might actually be able to make it there without falling over. She was mid-lurch when she suddenly felt a steadying grip on her shoulders. She turned her head in shock to find Rideau standing behind her, a tiny grin on his face.

"Don't be a hero," he said, linking his arm through hers. Leah dumbly went along with him, in shock over his very close proximity to her. "Let's save the falling over for when we get you on the ice."

"Ha ha," she said sarcastically, trying her best to sound as though she wasn't about to faint. Rideau didn't seem to have any trouble walking on his skates, and it actually _was_ easier to move with something to hold onto. They made it to the ice, and Leah placed a hand on the boards. Rideau unhooked his arm from hers; she managed not to look too disappointed at the loss of contact.

"Okay," he said, "This is how you do it," and then he leapt onto the ice. He took a couple long strides forward, then did a half turn so that he was facing her again, surged forward and came to a stop a few feet in front of where she stood, spraying the boards with snow from where his blades scraped the ice. Leah gaped at him. She hadn't expected that under his mild, bookish exterior lay such athletic prowess.

He glided over to her and leaned his elbows on the boards. "Come on," he said, "Let's go."

"You didn't mention you were such a pro," she said accusingly.

"I'm not. Ten years of house league Hockey does not a pro make." When she responded with a frown, he looked over his shoulder and pointed at a small child who was zipping past. "That kid is, what, five? Six?" he turned back to look at her. "You don't want to get your butt kicked by a six year old, do you?"

Leah scowled and walked over to the opening in the boards. "This is unfair coercion," she muttered. Rideau gave her a pointed look, and she sighed. "Fine… here goes."

She stepped onto the ice; Rideau grabbed her arm as she put her foot down to help steady her. It was way more slippery than she'd anticipated, and she wobbled for a bit before she was able to stand straight and still. When she'd regained some semblance of dignity, Leah stopped to take a look around the rink. There were some pretty unsteady looking patrons, but mostly the ice was occupied by smooth-gliding people who didn't seem to be having any trouble at all moving around. So it couldn't be _that_ hard.

_You are a supernatural being_, she told herself firmly. _You have unmatched physical instincts, and you're used to controlling a body that's much more ungainly than this one. Use your instincts._ She looked over at Rideau. "Okay," she said, "Show me again, slowly this time." After a doubtful moment, he let go of her arm and turned around.

"Watch me," He called over his shoulder, before pushing off and taking a few smooth strides. She narrowed her eyes and watched the way his body worked, examining the angle at which his knees bent, the way his weight was distributed, and the way his blades connected with and lifted away from the surface of the rink. She looked down at her own skates. The blades were a bit longer, so she'd have to correct for that, and they had those pointy things on the front, but other than that it would be the same.

"Just physics," she muttered to herself under her breath as she lifted one foot.

Rideau did a quick half turn and began to skate backwards. "Okay, so you just— " He stopped dead, his mouth hanging open, as she glided past him. A grin spread over Leah's face, but she didn't dare look back to gloat. As it turned out, she didn't have to: it took Rideau all of three seconds to catch up, whip around in front of her and turn so that he was skating backwards again. His shocked expression was hilarious, and Leah smirked back at him.

"I think I've got the hang of it," she said, deadpan. Rideau narrowed his eyes.

"You've done this before!" He said, pointing a finger at her feet for emphasis.

"Nope," she replied, "But I'm a fast learner."

"I don't believe you," Rideau said, shaking his head. Leah shrugged.

"You don't have to," she replied, "But you may want to watch where you're going."

"What—" Rideau slammed into the boards behind him. They had reached the end of the rink. Leah swerved slightly to the side, managing to put out her hands to absorb the impact, effectively stopping herself against the wall. It wasn't exactly comfortable, ramming herself into a solid surface like that, but it worked well enough in terms of stopping. She straightened up, caught her breath, and then grinned at him.

"Well, you win… this _is_ fun." Rideau just stared at her, bewildered.

"How did you do that?"

"I told you, I'm a fast learner. Besides, as you pointed out before, a six-year-old can do it. It's not exactly tough." She toed the ice beneath her with the spiky thing on the front of one of her blades. "But if it'll make you feel better about your own skills, I could pretend to fall down a couple times."

"Oh, very funny." Rideau zig-zagged backwards a few feet, then zoomed back towards her and skidded to a halt, spraying her with snow. Leah cried out and leapt backwards, forgetting for a split second that she was on the ice at all. A split second was all it took: her feet slipped out from under her, and she went down.

At least, she almost went down… instead of the hard impact she had braced herself for, she found herself cushioned in the soft yet strong sling of Rideau's arms. Leah hadn't thought average humans could possess such quick reflexes, yet there she was, saved from a particularly nasty wipe-out, and Rideau's arms were around her back. Their faces were inches apart; she could feel his warm breath on her cheeks as he gave a soft laugh at her shocked expression. Slowly, he eased her back into a standing position, grinning the entire time, and then let her go with a pat on the back.

"Easy there… remember, you're still a beginner. Best not to attempt the big jumps just yet." Leah's head was swirling dangerously, and not just from the adrenaline rush of her near-fall. Their faces had been so close, their bodies pressed together… how could he seem so completely unaffected by it, when she felt like her legs might give out completely? She needed to get a grip, fast.

She pulled herself together for what seemed like the thousandth time that afternoon, deciding to play off her shock as a result of the almost-wipeout. "Will you teach me to stop like that?" She asked, smoothing down her coat. Rideau eyed her suspiciously.

"Not if it's so that you can get back at me," He said, sliding backwards a bit.

Leah pushed off carefully and followed him. "Fine," she replied. "I'll just figure it out on my own." She glided forward a bit further and realized that it really _was_ quite simple now that she understood how to distribute her weight over top of her feet. She skated easily by Rideau, who laughed and pulled up alongside her.

"Has anybody ever told you you're sort of stubborn?" Leah looked at him for a moment before turning back to watch where she was going.

"Never," she replied sarcastically. "You're the very first person to ever make that observation."

He laughed again, and Leah could feel his eyes on her. She didn't dare look over at him, not trusting her feet or her nerves to behave if she broke her concentration.

"How fast can you go?" She asked, although she suddenly didn't care about skating in the slightest.

"Very," Rideau replied, "Why? You're not intending to race me, are you?"

"Maybe in a couple minutes," Leah said with a grin. "I might need another few laps of the rink before I'm up to your level." Now she did risk a look at him; he wore an expression of mock-irritation, which barely concealed his amusement.

"You think so, huh?" He looked down at her skates with a sly, knowing smile. "Tell me, Leah… how're your feet doing?"

There was a sudden baffled moment where Leah didn't get what he was talking about, and then she realized that a normal human would probably be experiencing some discomfort by now, what with the extremely chilly air and lack of circulation. Even with her super-human physiology, she was starting to feel pins and needles in her toes, probably a by-product of pulling her laces too tight. She winced, trying her best to make it look convincing.

"Um… they don't feel the greatest," she said, deciding that wasn't as bad as an outright lie. Rideau just nodded knowingly.

"Uh huh. I'd be willing to bet that by the time you _do_ get a few more laps under your belt, your feet will be so sore that you won't be racing anybody."

Leah rolled her eyes. "You're taking advantage of my status as a novice."

They did a few more rounds of the rink, talking about all manner of different things as they went, before Rideau started to genuinely worry that she was pushing her feet too much. Leah wasn't exactly concerned; there was no damage she could do to her feet that wouldn't heal in a couple minutes, and she didn't want to stop even though she could feel blisters starting to form on her heels from the cold leather. But for appearances' sake she agreed to quit for the day, after he assured her that they could go back anytime she wanted. Admittedly, once they sat down and pulled of their skates, Leah was more than ready to put her feet back into her comfortable boots. They grabbed watery hot chocolate from a rinkside vendor before heading back to the car.

Leah offered to drop Rideau at his building, even though it was out of the way and meant navigating more New York traffic. She was happy for any interference that prolonged their time together. While they drove, they talked about their families. Leah learned that Rideau was the middle child of three, and that he had grown up with hyper-intellectual biologist parents who had always assumed he'd pursue a career in science, as both his brother and sister had done.

"I was raised on a genius farm," he said with a hint of self-deprecation. "My brother went to school for Engineering, and now he works for NASA. My little sister is a first-year surgical resident, her specialty is Neurosurgery. So basically, there's the Rocket Scientist, the Brain Surgeon, and me, the perpetual student." He shrugged slightly. "I'm not sure they've ever once understood when I try to explain what it is I study."

"What's so difficult about it?" Leah looked over at him briefly before turning her eyes back to the traffic. "I mean, if you can build a spaceship, you should have the brain capacity to recognize the importance of studying culture and society." She swallowed back the building rant and added, "One would assume."

"Of course they know it's important. They just don't understand why I would want to study, write and teach when I could be making such good money in the sciences. My parents are better about it than my brother and sister; they're environmental biologists, so they're really well-versed in the world around them and how we impact it. But if it's not related directly to the environment, they sort of… tune it out."

"My brother's like that," Leah replied with a small smile, "If you replace 'The Environment' with 'Video Games and Food'."

Rideau laughed at that. "Come on," he said, "I met the guy… he seems pretty cool."

"Cool is a relative term," Leah said. "When you've lived with it for… as long as I have…. It gets a bit old." She couldn't believe she'd almost slipped and given Seth's age. It would have brought up all sorts of questions, considering they all looked about a decade younger than they actually were. Of course, Seth acted it, too. "Anyway, he's okay. He can even be fun to have around, when he's not actively trying to drive you nuts."

"That I can understand," Rideau said. "Sometimes I think my sister Margaret isn't half the know-it-all she makes herself out to be, and she just plays it up because she knows it irritates me."

"She must really work at it… you don't seem like a particularly irritable person to me. I mean, I've been bugging you all day, and you haven't snapped at me once." Leah wished she could stop her mouth from working against her. Making fun of her own prickly personality was a coping mechanism, and a bad habit. She didn't want to point out every one of her flaws to Rideau, but it was a reflex. She'd always felt it was better to acknowledge her downfalls then to have them announced by somebody else. Now, she wished she could just knock it off.

"You don't get on my nerves nearly as much as you try to, with all your teasing and sarcasm," Rideau replied. Leah turned to look at him; he was grinning back at her. "But it's cute how you keep trying. Oh, pull over here… this is my building."

Leah was sure she was gawking as she brought the car to a stop at the curb. _Cute_? She'd been called a lot of things in her lifetime, but _cute_ was not one of them. She swallowed around the lump in her throat and said, "Well, that being the case, I guess I'll just have to try harder." Rideau chuckled softly and shrugged.

"You can try if you want to." The car was stopped now, but he wasn't getting out. "But in all honesty, I'm pretty unflappable, so it might take a few attempts."

Leah wasn't sure how long she could keep up this routine without either passing out or attacking the poor boy, but she was damn well going to keep at it. "Well, I'm around all next week, if you feel like testing the limits of your patience."

"Sounds excruciating," he said, and his eyes locked on hers. "I'll give you a call tomorrow." There was a moment of loaded silence before he cleared his throat and looked away. Leah notice how he fumbled with his seatbelt, and then with the zipper on his jacket, looking everywhere but at her, and she wished she could think of something clever to say to keep him there a bit longer. But she couldn't. "Well, uh… I should get going before you get nailed for idling your car." He undid his seatbelt and turned to open the door. "Thanks for the ride home."

"No problem… thanks for convincing me to go skating. It was actually really fun… and you're not a terrible teacher." He laughed at that. She felt a small but acute ache building in her chest at the thought of him leaving. There was a rush of his scent as he turned and opened the door, and her eyes fluttered closed momentarily as her senses were flooded with it. She rearranged her face quickly as he turned around again and ducked his head into the car to say goodbye.

"Any time," he said, sounding casual. "I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Yeah," she said, unable to think of anything more intelligent. There was a moment's pause before Rideau straightened up to his full height and moved away from the car. If she hadn't fully convinced herself otherwise, she would have labeled his movements as 'Reluctant'.

"Bye, Leah," he said, and then he closed the door. She raised her hand in a little wave before he turned and walked away. She watched the back of his head as he walked towards the building; that is, until he turned as he reached the front door and looked back at her. Again, their eyes locked, and a small smile appeared on Rideau's face before he retreated through the doorway and disappeared from view. Leah sat in her car for another minute or so, glued in place, before pulling away from the curb and merging into traffic.

She cursed creatively at the other drivers the whole way back to the loft.

**From the next chapter:**

_A friendship with no secrets. It was something she wanted, more than anything. She couldn't have that with Clara, or with Rideau, or any human being she might meet. Her family was too close, and they all held her up as something perfect and pure. Jacob loved her too much. Seth and Embry would always see her as a kid. There was only Leah left._


	33. The Hall

**AN:** Sorry I didn't manage to get this chapter out on the weekend like I was planning to… I had to go out of town unexpectedly to visit a family member in the hospital, so I've basically been traveling for the last three days, stuck on buses and in cars and other places where I can't post.

Anyhow, here it is…the next chapter. Hope you like it! Review responses from last chapter are forthcoming… probably tonight, when I get back from work.

Please review… I love your feedback!

Enjoy!

~Crit.

**Chapter 33: The Hall**

To Renesmee's utter chagrin, Leah refused to talk about what had happened during her outing with Rideau. In fact, she refused to say anything to her at all, opting instead for a frosty silence that rivaled their old interactions in terms of discomfort. After several attempts to communicate, Renesmee finally threw her hands up and stormed off to her room, where Jacob found her several minutes later, sitting on the bed not reading the open book in her lap.

"I could be wrong," he said tentatively, "But I think in order to gain knowledge from a book, you actually have to _look_ at it. I don't think glaring at the bedpost is going to help you much." Renesmee decided to scowl at him instead.

"Oh, shut up," she said irritably, and then she slammed the book shut. "Who does she think she is, shutting me out like that?" She leapt up from the bed and stood in front of Jacob, tilting her head all the way back so she could look him in the face. "I mean, I've done nothing but help her, and she's, what, _punishing _me for getting her some alone-time with her imprint? So much for gratitude!" Renesmee could easily acknowledge that she was a bit over the top, but she felt unexpectedly and irrationally angry at Leah's silent treatment. And it didn't help that Jacob, who was supposed to be on her side, was just staring down at her with that irritatingly amused expression.

"Whoa, Nessie," He said reaching out for her shoulders. She twisted away from his hands with a glare, and he actually had the nerve to chuckle at her. "Don't you think you're overreacting just a bit? I mean, you _did_ sort of pull a trick on her, and it's Leah… did you expect her to just laugh and pat you on the back?"

"I expected her to have such a good time that she wouldn't care about my backing out at the last minute. I _expected_ her to at least tell me what happened!" She shook her head in frustration. "And… I thought she would _want_ to tell me." She could feel her mask of rage slipping into one of disappointment, and she quickly turned her back on him. It was stupid, she knew, but she didn't want Jacob to see how upset she was that Leah had cast their fledgling friendship aside.

"Uh-huh," Jacob said softly from behind her back, and the next thing she knew he was standing directly behind her, his arms winding carefully around her shoulders so that she was pinning against him. She didn't even try to pull away this time; it would have been pointless anyway. "Nessie, I know you're upset because you and Leah were starting to be friendly with each other… but honey, you _did_ act behind her back and send her out there with him alone. She has every right to be pissed off at you right now, especially if things didn't go well."

"I know," Renesmee admitted grudgingly. "It wasn't the best way to do things… but how else were we going to get them alone? If I'd gone, they wouldn't have a real chance to talk or get to know each other. Plus, I'm the last person who Leah should want around while she's trying to get close to Rideau." She pushed slightly against Jacob's arms, and he got the hint and eased up on his grip so that she could turn around to face him. "Oh god," she said, letting her forehead drop against his chest, "Do you really think it went badly? I mean, she looks pretty mad…" The deep vibrations of Jacob's soft laughter shook her body, pressed against him as she was, and he rubbed one large hand over her back.

"Settle down," he said, not unkindly. "She's not your biggest fan right now, but I can tell you one thing for sure: whatever happened, it wasn't a total disaster."

Renesmee looked up at him warily. "How do you know?" Jacob rolled his eyes.

"Honey, Leah is like my family. I've known her for a very, very long time, and she's not nearly as hard to read as she thinks. After all these years, I can tell pretty easily when she's actually upset, and when she's pretty pleased with herself and just pretending to be pissed off to make a point." Jacob gave her a small, encouraging smile. "I could be wrong, but I'm thinking things probably went pretty well."

"Really?" Renesmee felt relieved. "Well, that's good, at least."

Jacob placed a kiss on her forehead. "It's really cool of you to care so much about what happens to her," He said, and she could see the pride in his eyes. She could read between the lines and understand what he was actually saying: he was thanking her for making his pack as important to her as they were to him. A big part of Renesmee was really glad she'd never thought much about Leah and Jacob's friendship before she had discovered the truth about the imprint. It would have been easy to be extremely jealous of how much her boyfriend cared for the other woman. But at this point, it just made her happy to see Jacob's devotion to his packmate.

But it was more than that. Renesmee realized with a sudden jolt of feeling that she _didn't_ just care about Leah because she was important to Jacob. Maybe it had started that way, when they were back at the compound: a feeble attempt to befriend the older woman as a sort of peace offering, to show that she didn't intend to take Jacob away from his pack. But in the few days since the imprinting, she'd spent more time with Leah than she had in her entire life beforehand, and she'd gotten to know her a lot better than either of them had expected. Nobody could call them best friends, but Renesmee had felt a sort of kinship with the other woman since their first real conversation. It was like the potential for a great friendship hung in the air between them, and they were working towards the place where they could both accept it comfortably. Renesmee knew that when they finally could, it would be something big.

A friendship with no secrets. It was something she wanted, more than anything. She couldn't have that with Clara, or with Rideau, or any human being she might meet. Her family was too close, and they all held her up as something perfect and pure. Jacob loved her too much. Seth and Embry would always see her as a kid. There was only Leah left. Leah, who wouldn't hesitate to call her bluff or tell her she was being stupid. She'd never pretend to be something she wasn't just to make somebody else comfortable… Renesmee wasn't sure she _could_. Behind her cranky exterior, Leah was one of the most honest people Renesmee had ever met, and she could be surprisingly open and insightful. She was also very, very sad. And Renesmee found it mattered to her the Leah was unhappy, and she wanted to change it.

"I do care," she told Jacob earnestly. "I care a lot. I know it sounds really weird, but… I think we're going to be friends one day."

Jacob gave her a searching look, and then his face was split by an enormous grin. "I wouldn't exactly be shocked by that," he said, giving her another kiss on the forehead. "She's not going to stay mad forever, either… so just let her work it out of her system. Trust me… I'm an expert when it comes to the moods of Leah Clearwater." Renesmee laughed quietly as Jacob released her and they sat down on the bed, facing each other.

"Jake, can I ask you something?"

"Anything, Sweetheart."

"When I was little, too little to really be your friend… you were really close with Leah, weren't you?" Jacob raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"I'm still really close with Leah," he replied. "Maybe we spent more time together back then, but we still have the same friendship."

Renesmee frowned. "Okay… but there's something that's been bugging me, just a bit." She looked up at him warily. "A couple days ago, Leah mentioned that you never tell her when you and I fight. And the way she said it, it sounded like she expected you would have told her, as if you tell her pretty much everything. And that's fine," Renesmee was quick to add, "Except I was wondering why you wouldn't tell her when you're mad at me. If you guys are good friends… why would you hide that?"

Jacob was looking at her like she was a little bit nuts. "Don't take this the wrong way, but… I'm not sure what you're trying to get at. Are you suggesting that I should have been sharing the details of our fights with my friends? I would have figured you'd want that stuff to stay between us."

"I do, I guess." Renesmee wasn't exactly sure how to get her point across without sounding like a crazy person. "It's just something Leah said that stuck with me… she said I'm nothing like how you see me."

"I beg your pardon?" Jacob did not look impressed.

"She said… she said that you've never said or thought anything bad about me when she could hear it. And that you think I'm perfect."

Jacob snorted. "Honey," he said in a very even tone, "I _know_ you're not perfect."

"Well thanks," Renesmee said, rolling her eyes. "That wasn't my point, though… I know that you know that I…" she stopped, took a breath, and started again. "I know that you love me, in spite of… or maybe in part _because_ of the less-than-perfect things about me. And what I just don't get is, why would you want to hide the fact that I can sometimes act crazy and annoy the heck out of you from your friends?"

Jacob shook his head. "I'm confused, Nessie. It kind of seems like you're chewing me out for _not_ badmouthing you to my buddies."

"I'm not trying to chew you out," she said, offering a small smile as evidence. "See? Not pissed off! Just sort of perplexed."

Jacob heaved a sigh, as if she was trying his patience tremendously. "Okay, see… I've always avoided sharing our disagreements with Leah because, number one, I figured you'd be even madder at me if I went and ranted to someone else while we were in a fight. And number two, as I'm sure you've figured out, Leah can be a bit hyper-critical. And since she's never been a huge fan of the idea of us being imprinted, I didn't want to give her anything as fodder for a rant about how toxic our relationship is. Because honestly? She would have gone there. And if she'd said anything bad about you, I would have had to go up against her. That would put me in a fight with _both_ of you at the same time. And I'm a pretty tough guy, Nessie, but I don't think I could handle both your wrath and Leah's at the same time."

"Oh." Renesmee's eyes were wide as she contemplated what Jacob would have had to deal with in that situation. "Yeah, that probably wouldn't be too much fun for you."

"You think?" Jacob's voice was extremely sarcastic, but he had a tiny grin on his face. Renesmee couldn't help herself; she started to laugh. Jacob waited patiently while she got herself back under control.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I know I'm probably just irritating you with this discussion. I do have a point, I promise."

"I'm sure you do," Jacob quipped. "Care to make it any time soon?"

Renesmee nodded, though not before rolling he eyes. "I just wanted to say that Leah actually seemed glad to find out I wasn't some flawless thing. And I think it's safe to say that her views on imprinting have changed a bit. So from now on, I think you can stop censoring what you say about me. I don't really mind Leah or anybody else knowing that I'm a regular person, with issues and quirks like everybody else. Perfection is kind of a hard standard to live up to. Plus, you need to be able to talk to someone who isn't me sometimes. I would be okay with it if you want to talk to Leah."

Jacob nodded, looking amused. "Fair enough," he said. "I'll badmouth you every chance I get."

"Jacob, that's not what I…" He cut her off.

"Kidding, kidding!" He placed his hands on her shoulders. "Nessie, I get it. And I'm really glad you and Leah had that conversation. I didn't realize that I was building you a reputation that's next to impossible to live up to. I just didn't want any extra conflict. That, and I really do like you, so it's not exactly hard for me to go on about how great you are." He gave her a pointed look, and she laughed again.

"I guess you do." She gave him an apologetic look. "Can we hug it out?" Jacob chuckled and then nodded and spread his arms. Renesmee lunged forward and fell against his chest, feeling a rush of affection as he closed his heavy arms around her. She squeezed him back, hard. "So," she said when they separated, "How long do you think Leah's going to give me the silent treatment for?" Jacob winced. "Right. A long time, then." Renesmee sighed. "Fine. I'll just have to find out from Rideau tomorrow at school."

"Um… she's not going to like that." Renesmee shrugged.

"Well, if she wants to order me not to talk to him, she'll have to talk to me, won't she?"

oooOOOooo

_Renesmee was standing in a large, dark room. It was nighttime, and through the high, beveled windows that lined one wall she could see the small, sharp sliver of the crescent moon. Its weak light spilled in through the glass and onto the gleaming wood floor at her feet. This wasn't a place she recognized, and she knew instinctively that she was trapped there, alone. _

_She did a full turn, looking all around her at her surroundings. The room was completely empty, but it still managed to be lavish and beautiful through embellishments on the walls and fine detailing around the windows and closed doorways. The ceiling was vaulted, with carved moldings running across its width. It was obviously some sort of hall or ballroom, although now it was deserted and dark. _

_Renesmee took a couple steps toward the wall with the windows. Her shoes made a loud clicking noise that echoed throughout the empty space, and she went up on her toes and walked that way to lessen the sound. She wasn't sure why she needed to be quiet, only that it was absolutely imperative that she was as silent as possible. Somebody was looking for her. _

_She reached the window and pressed her palms to the glass, looking out onto a short stretch of lawn bordered by a garden, which in turn was bordered by a high brick wall. The grass was green, the plants blooming and leafy. Where was she, and when? _

_There was a sudden crashing noise, like shattering glass, and a loud thud not a second later. Renesmee looked up in alarm, expecting to see broken window panes, but the windows were still intact, and she was still alone. At least, it looked like she was. It was hard to believe that, though, when it sounded like at least ten people had begun to shout at once from all over the room. She looked all around her; still nobody there, despite the din. What was happening?_

"_Get down! Get back," a familiar female voice called out. "Stay by Nessie! Seth, Embry, on my word! Stay low to the ground." Leah. Several voices called out in response, some in a language she couldn't understand. Then came a voice she _did_ recognize._

"—_if I can just get close enough for them to hear me clearly I think I can—" It was Clara! Why in the world would Clara be there, with the wolves, in the middle of what was evidently a battle?_

"—_my hand, if I can make contact then maybe—" Renesmee recognized her own voice, although it sounded strange in her ears._

"_Wait, Leah—" Rideau. Renesmee's heart sank as she realized in horror that yes, her human friends were in fact present._

"_NOW!" There was the distinctive sound of one—or possibly all three— or the wolves shifting, and then the room fell silent again, as suddenly as the noise had begun, and Renesmee was once again standing in a completely silent, empty hall.. Disoriented, she spun around to do another sweep of her surroundings—_

_--and found herself face-to-face with a pair of narrow green eyes, set in a pale face that was both familiar and strange at the same time. The woman was short and pretty, with sandy brown hair that hung around her face in gentle waves. Renesmee had just one moment to regard her before the stranger lurched forward and clasped her thin fingers around her arms._

"_You're being followed," she said in a low whisper._

Renesmee's eyes flew open. The sounds and scents of home were all around her: Jacob's soft breathing beside her head, the soft smell of fabric softener, the much more distinctive scent of all four sleeping wolves. She took a single gasping breath and held it, determined not to wake Jacob. It was another of _those_ dreams. She clenched her jaw and willed her heart rate to slow down.

She went over it all in her head, once she trusted herself to think and breathe normally. The abandoned ballroom, the sounds of the erupting battle, apparently involving her human friends. Leah, Seth and Embry were there, too, with Leah acting as the leader of the three. That would make sense, with Jacob absent, but where _was_ Jacob? Renesmee looked at the sleeping form of the man she loved. She had the same feeling about this dream that she had with the ones before: that it was a sign of things to come. A premonition. She already knew that Jacob didn't believe there was anything to the dreams but her subconscious acting overtime. There was no sense in even discussing it with him further: he'd only attempt to placate her and shut her down. She had to keep it to herself, until she could talk to somebody who would listen. Jacob was too close to take her seriously.

She turned onto her side. Jacob was facing her, one arm cradling his head and the other over top of the blankets. Slowly, and very carefully, she moved over so that she was pressed against his bare chest, and then reached up and gently pulled his arm around her. He made a soft, content noise in his sleep, and pulled her even closer, subconsciously tightening his grip. Renesmee closed her eyes tight as she felt the tell-tale prickle of tears beginning behind her eyelids. She wouldn't cry. She would just lie there, surrounded by Jacob, until she forgot about the dream.

At least, she would try her best.

**In the Next Chapter:**

_Alice leaned in a bit, her elbows on her knees, and continued, "Maybe she wants to tell you, maybe she's planning to, but she's worried you'll overreact." At Edward's dubious expression, she rolled her eyes "Well, you _do_ overreact on occasion, you know."_

**Please Review!**


	34. Relax

**A/N: **Okay… chapter 33. Sorry it took so long. I can only say that I've had a very good reason for being too busy and frazzled to even think about posting before now, and I hope you'll all forgive me. I'm still aiming to get chapters posted on a semi-consistent basis, with the ideal goal being weekly posts. So, count on another chapter by this time next week. Let's see if I can stick to that deadline.

Thanks, as always, to everybody who reviewed the last chapters. Thanks as well for your patience with me while I took my time responding to those reviews. I really do value every scrap of input I get. Thanks for taking the time to let me know how you like the chapters.

Enjoy a visit with the rest of the Cullen family. And please do give your feedback… I'd love to hear it!

~Crit.

**Chapter 34: Relax**

Edward could tell the moment he saw Alice that something strange had happened. She had that look, the look she sometimes got when she had a particularly perplexing vision. Not exactly disturbed or upset, more like she'd been thrown off balance and couldn't decide whether to be amused or concerned. He didn't bother asking, knowing she'd get to it on her own.

"So… I think Rosalie is going to be making a fairly important purchase in the very near future."

Bella, Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie all looked towards Alice; Edward was clearly already paying attention. Rosalie quirked one eyebrow at their sister and, without moving from her reclining position on the couch, replied, "Is that so?"

Alice shrugged, and Edward suddenly got the full picture from her mind. Standing up suddenly, he crossed the room to where she stood and stared down at her.

"Did you see anything else?" he demanded urgently. Alice shook her head, frowning slightly.

"Nope. Just that. I'm not even sure it means anything. Just… calm down."

"I will not calm down," Edward replied, fully aware that the volume of his voice was getting slightly out of control, but that wasn't really his primary concern at the moment.

"Edward!" Bella was frowning at him from her seat across the room, arms crossed over her chest. "Calm. Down."

The irony of the situation did not escape him. Weeks ago, it was Bella who needed calming at every turn of events. Now, it seemed that he was the one who flew off the handle at the slightest inkling of trouble. He took a moment to collect himself, turned to Alice and said, "Sorry. Would you mind elaborating on what you saw?"

"Yes," Rosalie piped up, "Do tell. Seeing as none of the rest of us can _read your mind_."

Alice waved her hand. "I'm sure it's nothing very important. I just saw all of us flying in a helicopter… well, actually, I saw _you_, Rose, but I think the rest of us were there. And you looked kind of tense, but that's probably just because you were concentrating on flying. I didn't get a good feeling for any of the rest of us. Anyway," She turned to Edward, "It couldn't have been anything to do with Nessie and Jacob, right? Because I wouldn't've seen it if it was. But I _do_ think we were approaching the New York Skyline. So I guess maybe we'll be taking your new ride to town at some point."

Rosalie _did_ look interested by that. "I haven't flown in a long time," she mused. "But come to think of it… it would be useful to have maybe just a _little_ chopper. Not to mention fun." A slow, cat-like grin had begun to spread across her face at the idea. From the other end of her couch, where he sat with her feet in his lap, Emmett nodded approvingly.

"_So_ hot," he said, earning himself a snicker from Alice and a mildly disgusted look from Jasper. "Well, it is!" Emmett defended with a shrug.

"Well," Said Rosalie, swinging her legs over the edge of the couch and standing up. "Guess I'd better line up some appointments."

Sure enough, three days later a sleek black chopper was landing on the back lot of the compound. Between Alice seeing it, and Rosalie deciding she wanted it, there was really no doubt as to whether or not it would happen.

oooOOOooo

"Your daughter called me today."

Edward looked up at Alice. She'd snuck up on him, as usual, while he was reading in Carlisle's study, and was standing directly over his left shoulder, arms crossed over her chest in a stance that clearly read "Serious business". He raised an eyebrow as he looked at the clock… it was early for Renesmee to be calling.

"Did she?"

"She did." Alice sat down on the arm of his chair; Edward shifted a bit so she could rest her feet on the cushion. "She had some interesting questions. I'm not sure what I should think about them, really."

Now Edward was completely on alert. Alice couldn't see anything to do with Renesmee's future, it was true, but if she deemed something important or significant it was usually best to trust her instincts, even where her gift was blind. "I think you should probably fill me in on what they were," he said seriously. Alice nodded.

"I figured you'd say that. Thing is, I'm pretty sure Nessie wanted our conversation to be private."

Edward shook his head. "Renesmee's lived in this family her whole life, Alice. In what world would she imagine that she could keep a conversation with any one of you from me?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "I didn't say she thought it would actually _stay_ private… just that she probably wanted it to be. Which is why I think she only told me half the story."

Edward felt a slight headache coming on. "Alice," he said as patiently as he could, "Enough exposition. Would you _please_ either get to the point or start thinking clearly?"

"Gladly," she said, sounding anything but. "First I thought it was just a normal chat… she talked a bit about school, her friends, Jacob… and then she started asking me all these things about my visions. How I started having them, what it felt like, and if I'd ever had a dream that turned out to be a vision." She gave him a meaningful look. "She wouldn't let that one go easily, either, when I told her I hadn't."

Edward had already put it together, but he really wished he hadn't. "Are you trying to tell me you think she's… seeing things?"

"Like I see things?" Alice replied, then shook her head. "No. I don't think so. But the dreaming thing… I think there's something more to it. I tried to ask her why she wanted to know… I hoped she'd just come out and tell me, but she just brushed it off and started talking about something else." She sighed. "Something's going on, Edward."

Edward was inclined to agree with her. He massaged the bridge of his nose, one of those tiny stress habits from his human life that had never quite disappeared. "We were supposed to have had an agreement," he muttered to himself, and then he looked up at his sister. "She's supposed to tell me when anything out of the ordinary happens!"

Alice quickly held up one finger. "Wait a minute, before you freak out," she said in a quiet voice. Edward realized that he was starting to raise his voice again, and he certainly didn't want everyone in the house to be privy to this conversation. Bella was at the cottage, but the others were probably somewhere in the main house with them, and Edward had a sudden desire to keep this conversation completely private. Alice leaned in a bit, her elbows on her knees, and continued, "Maybe she wants to tell you, maybe she's planning to, but she's worried you'll overreact." At Edward's dubious expression, she rolled her eyes "Well, you _do_ overreact on occasion, you know."

"You're not exactly perfect yourself, you know," he said, a bit bitterly. Alice just laughed.

"Just nearly." Then her face went serious again. "Anyway, I say give her the benefit of the doubt, and give her a couple days. Maybe she just wanted to line up a theory before she said anything to you about… whatever's going on." Alice gave him a very pointed look. "She's a grown-up woman now, Edward… you have to give her a little space to figure things out sometimes… and _trust_ her."

Edward was about to reply when the house phone rang. He and Alice exchanged a quick look before she reached for the extension and picked it up.

"Cullen Residence, Alice speaking!"

Edward could hear the other end of the line as clearly as if he was the one holding it. "Aunt Alice… hi. Is my dad around?"

"Oh hi, Nessie," Alice said, raising an eyebrow at Edward. "You're dad's right here, actually. Your mom's at the cottage… want me to go get her?"

"No… just my dad is fine." Alice smiled knowingly, and Edward avoided meeting her eye. He _hated_ I-told-you-so's.

"All right then. Here he is," Alice chirped into the receiver, then handed it to Edward. He took it and motioned her out of the room, trying to ignore her knowing grin as she left the office and shut the door.

"Hi sweetie," he said. "Everything all right?"

"Um." That wasn't exactly a good start. "I'm not sure." Edward sat forward in the chair.

"Renesmee, what's going on?"

"I guess you already talked to Aunt Alice," she said.

"As a matter of fact, I did. She told me about your phone call." He paused. "What's happening?" He repeated.

There was a long, loud sigh. "Okay… don't freak out. It's probably nothing. But, just in case it's _not…_" She cleared her throat. "I've been having dreams. Really… vivid dreams. And something about them feels strange, like maybe they're not just dreams."

Edward put it together easily. "And you think they might be premonitions."

"Yes!" Renesmee sounded relieved just to have somebody else suggest it. "But I'm not sure. Do you think that's even possible?"

Edward frowned. "Anything's possible, Renesmee. It's whether or not it's _probable_ that we should be concerned with." He paused. "I think we should bring your grandfather in on this discussion," he said.

"I really don't want this to become a whole-family thing," She replied, sounding a bit frustrated. "I mean, if it's really nothing, then I feel like I should be allowed to keep it private, you know?" Edward could understand her hesitance. He tried to channel some fatherly sympathy through his intense concern.

"Darling, I know this is a very personal situation, but your grandfather should really hear what's happening. And I _will _be telling your mother, unless you choose to tell her yourself. Nobody else needs to be involved, for the time being."

"I guess that's okay," she said after a moment. "Is Grandpa around? Can we talk to him now?"

Edward moved the receiver away from his mouth. "Carlisle," he said at a little bit louder than normal speaking volume. "Could you pick up a handset and come into the office, please?" A moment later, Carlisle strode through the door. Edward nodded to him. "Your granddaughter has something to discuss."

They quickly filled Carlisle in on the situation. He listened carefully, nodding where appropriate. When Renesmee was through describing the situation, he spoke.

"The dreams that you speak of… are they normal dreams about everyday things, or very good, or very bad things?"

"Usually bad," Renesmee replied, "Sometimes—rarely—good, but never just normal."

"Have any of these dreams come true?" He asked.

There was a long pause, and then a quiet, "No."

"Are they about things that could conceivably, realistically come true?"

Another long silence. "Not always," Renesmee said, sounding doubtful. "Sometimes they're really realistic, and sometimes they make no sense at all."

Carlisle nodded again. "And when you have these dreams, is it usually following a stressful situation or a particularly emotional event?"

"Well… yeah, actually. I hadn't thought of it, but I think that's the case most of the time. Maybe all the time."

Carlisle made an affirmative noise. "Well, Renesmee, I certainly believe these dreams are of some significance. However, I do not think what you're experiencing are premonitions."

"You don't?" Edward heard the relief in his daughter's voice as clearly as he felt it himself.

"No," Carlisle said kindly, "I don't. I've seen this phenomenon before, in completely normal, human individuals… I think that your dreams are a result of a high degree of stress."

"Stress?" Edward and Renesmee responded at the same time. Carlisle chuckled softly at their tandem reactions.

"Are you really so surprised, Edward? Since Renesmee moved away, we've done nothing but warn her to be careful and vigilant, effectively placing the idea of constant, looming danger firmly into her head. That, coupled with the complications surrounding her emerging relationship with Jacob, and now this imprinting situation with Leah, all adds up to a great deal of pressure for one person to handle. And that is not even taking into account the regular, everyday things like school and social situations." Carlisle gave Edward a small smile. "Sometimes, in our eagerness to ensure our children are safe and successful, we can lose sight of just how much strain we are putting on them."

Edward felt sufficiently cowed by his adoptive father's backhanded reprimand. He had to admit, it made perfect sense. His concept of dreaming was rather hazy, having not done it himself in many years, but he did know that dreams were the mind's way of allowing subconscious thoughts and feelings to surface. It was only logical that, being under such pressure from so many directions, Renesmee might experience some irregularly vivid and troubling dreams. And, being a primary source of a great deal of that pressure, Edward suddenly felt like a horrible, brutish person for causing his own daughter such distress.

"Darling," he said softly, "Does that seem right to you? Are you feeling a great deal of stress?"

Renesmee was quiet for a moment before responding. "I don't know," she finally replied. "I hadn't really thought about it… but I guess I have been sort of anxious for a while now. I mean, things just keep piling up that I have to deal with… and I'm worried because you guys are worried all the time about _me_. Our last visit wasn't exactly relaxing, I guess. And then Jacob and I have been trying to figure out all these changes in our relationship, and you're all involved in that too, and…" She broke off there, and Edward knew it was because she didn't want to become too emotional. He'd noticed that it had become a habit of Renesmee's to not allow her family to witness displays of emotion, if she could help it. It seemed to have taken hold since she'd left home, as if she was making a huge effort to prove her maturity to them. Before, Edward had been proud of her self-control; now, he just saw it as another way he'd inadvertently inflicted stress upon his daughter.

"I'm very sorry, Renesmee," he said quietly. "Neither your mother nor I ever intended to make you this uncomfortable."

"Oh, Dad…" The way she said it, Edward could just picture her shoulders slumping, her face falling. "It's not your fault… it's like Grandpa said…"

"Renesmee's right," Carlisle said, with a pointed look at Edward, "Nobody is to blame. But Nessie, I do believe you should attempt to relax a little. Have a bit of fun, don't worry so much. And we'll try to lighten up on you from this end as well. And perhaps the pack—Jacob excluded, of course—might consider coming home, giving you some peace and quiet…"

"No!" Renesmee was adamant. "They don't have to go… I know it doesn't seem relaxing to either of you, but I actually like having them around... And besides which, Leah needs to be here right now." She paused. "But… maybe I can get Clara to let them use a suite at one of her dad's hotels. It _is_ getting a bit cramped in here."

"I'll be happy to pay for them to stay wherever they'd like," Carlisle said. "At any rate, I think if you take some steps towards relaxation, you'll find that the worst of the dreams will simply disappear. Of course, you should keep an eye on the situation, and be mindful of any new developments… but I truly don't believe there's any need for concern." He stopped, as if considering something, then said, "You're doing a remarkable job of taking care of yourself, Renesmee. We're all very proud of you. Try to _enjoy_ yourself."

"Thanks, Grandpa. I will."

Edward gave his adoptive father a grateful look as the older vampire clicked off his handset and slipped quietly from the room. Moments like this one made it very clear to Edward that, even after seventeen years of fatherhood, there were still things he could learn from his own father. There probably always would be.

"Darling?"

"Yeah dad?"

"Is everything else all right?"

"Yeah," She replied, actually sounding mildly surprised. "I've been pretty worried about the dreams… but I feel a lot better about that now. And everything else is really good. I mean, besides all the stuff I listed a minute ago." Edward had to laugh at that.

"One day at a time, Darling. You can't fix everybody's problems in one fell swoop."

"Well… they're mostly _my_ problems. But I get your point." Edward laughed again, fondly.

"Your Grandfather is right, Renesmee: We're all very proud of you. I hope you know that."

"Okay, enough, Dad," Renesmee groaned, sounding distinctly uncomfortable. "I get it; you're proud. And it's nice. And right now it's making me feel just a bit awkward."

Edward had a sudden memory from the past, of a human Bella swatting away her father's clumsy attempts at affection, and he smiled to himself. "You sound just like your mother," he replied.

"I'm not sure how to take that."

Edward chuckled. "All right, Renesmee. Go have fun… and remember what your grandfather said: relax."

"I will, Dad." She paused. "I love you guys."

"We love you too."

"Okay. 'Bye. And… thanks a lot."

Edward shook his head slightly. "Don't mention it. Goodbye, Darling." As Edward hung up the phone, he heaved a quiet sigh of relief. It had been a difficult conversation, but it had gone well.

Besides, it was nothing compared to the conversation he was about to have with his wife.

In the Next Chapter:

_Clara gave her best attempt at a sober expression. "So what do you think happened between Little Miss Sunshine and our Downtown Romeo? Disaster?"_

_She shook her head. "I'm not sure. Jacob says he thinks it went well, and that Leah's just pissed because I tried to trick her."_

"_I guess that's possible." Clara looked down at her hands, examining her fingernail polish with a pleased expression. She turned back to Renesmee. "I've gotta ask: Why do you even care? I mean, it all seems pretty random, this set-up, and if it's just not working… well, why do you want to push it so hard?"_

Please Review! Thanks for reading!


	35. On the Top of the World

**AN:** Hi guys! How's it going?

To those of you who I mentioned the additional chapter/preview mistake to in my review replies… disregard! I've decided to combine the two into one MEGACHAPTER… this one right here!

And on that note, this chapter is huge. I've decided to post it as one big chunk because a) I couldn't find an appropriate place to split it up without major rewrites, and b) I wanted to find a way to say thank you all for being so patient with me while I try to keep writing and posting through some pretty tough RL stuff. I figured you might appreciate an extra- long chapter. I try to keep my regular chapters between 3000 and 4000 words… just to give you an idea, this one is over 6000. So yeah… um, have fun.

Oh, and there is SEX SCENE in the first 1000 words of this chapter. Those of you who want to avoid that stuff might want to avert your eyes =)

Thanks for reading, everyone! And especially to my reviewers… you guys are seriously the most awesome!

Enjoy!

~Crit.

**Chapter 35: On the Top of the World**

Renesmee hung up the phone and placed it gently on the kitchen table, where she was seated. The sun was just barely up now, she could see the rays shining in through the tall windows in the living room, slanting across the dark wood floors. She hadn't been able to get back to sleep following the dream, and after laying wide awake in Jacob's arms for several hours she'd finally caved and called the one person she thought might be able to help: her aunt Alice. There was nobody else she could think of who might be able to provide better insight on a dream that might be a vision.

But Alice hadn't known, and after almost an hour of fretful contemplation, Renesmee had decided to do what her family would have expected her to all along, and she called her father.

It was remarkable how much better she felt now, after hearing both her father and her grandfather say there was no immediate cause for alarm. It all made so much sense. She was still highly disturbed by the idea that her brain was producing such horrible images, but her father and grandfather had managed to sooth away most of the fear and worry. The sun was rising on a new day, and Renesmee vowed to make it a good one.

She was just starting towards the stairs when she heard soft footsteps in the upstairs hallway. It could only be Leah; the boys' footfalls were heavier, louder. Sure enough, the other woman appeared at the top of the stairs a moment later, clad in form-fitting running gear and trainers. Renesmee stepped slightly to the side to let her pass, and as Leah brushed by her, she offered a small smile. Her efforts were in vain, however… Leah ignored her completely, making a beeline straight for the door. Renesmee frowned slightly to herself before shaking it off and going up the stairs. She was not going to let Leah's attitude ruin her day.

Jacob was still comatose when she snuck into her room, and she took a moment to look him over. The covers had slipped down around his waist, so that his chest and arms were completely exposed. His muscles were relaxed, yet still clearly visible beneath the perfect bronze of his skin. One heavy arm was splayed across her side of the bed, and Renesmee wondered if it was because he'd tried to reach for her in his sleep after she'd crept out of bed. His face was worked into a slight frown, the heavy, dark eyebrows knitted together in the middle of his forehead. Was that also because she wasn't there?

Renesmee moved quietly and swiftly, pulling off her robe as she approached the bed. She went around to the other side, so that Jacob was laying with his back to her, and very carefully slid her own body in behind his. The contact with his hot skin immediately made her entire body flush with warmth. She slipped one arm over his waist, her hand coming to rest beneath the covers on his stomach. With the other hand, she smoothed down the hair on the back of his head, and then placed a gentle kiss to the nape of his neck. No response. She kissed him again, in the crook between his neck and shoulder. Still nothing. Smiling to herself, she leaned upwards again and gave him a small nip just behind his earlobe, while at the same time moving the hand on his stomach down a couple inches.

That did it. There was a low rumble in Jacob's chest, which Renesmee could feel vibrating through his broad back. She moved her hand lower still and nipped his neck again, a bit harder this time. The rumbling turned into a soft growl, and her smile grew wider. She plunged her hand towards its goal and gripped firmly. Jacob's growl was cut off by a sudden intake of breath. She pressed herself against his back as hard as she could, winding one leg over his, and moved her hand as slowly as she possibly could.

"Where did you… Mmm… go?" Jacob managed to get out. Renesmee placed her lips against his neck again, still stroking him slowly.

"Doesn't matter," she murmured against his skin. She noted with satisfaction that his breathing was becoming a bit shallower and faster. She was clearly getting good at this.

"I woke up and you… _ahh_… weren't in bed," he persisted. Renesmee stilled her hand.

"Are you serious?" She asked disbelievingly. "You actually want to _talk_ right now?"

"No, no! I— " She pulled her hand away, noting with amusement how Jacob's own hands dove into the sheets to try and find her and hold it in place.

"Fine. We can talk," she said, backing away. It took about a quarter of a second before Jacob had her pinned beneath him, hands planted firmly on either side of her head.

"Do you ever get tired of being difficult?" He growled down at her, their face inches apart. With a mischievous smile, Renesmee shook her head. "Yeah. I didn't think so," Jacob said before crushing his lips against hers. Renesmee groaned every ounce of her relief into his mouth. It felt so good to just be with Jacob, and to not be consumed by worry. His hands slid down her sides, and she reveled in the feeling of them burning across her body.

They took their time. It was still early, and Renesmee had a couple hours before she had to start her day. She wanted as much of that time as possible to be filled with Jacob. She paid close attention to every detail, so that she could keep the morning with her throughout the day: the way he buried his face in her hair, the smooth hardness of his chest against the softness of her own, his weight, his heat. And in the final moments, she brought her hands to his face and held them there, and thought _I love you, I love you, I love you _as hard as she could. She knew he heard and understood from the way he held her hands and kissed her palms over and over after he fell down beside her on the bed, stated.

After they showered, while they were getting dressed, she told him about her conversation with her father. Jacob was glad to hear that Carlisle and Edward both agreed with him on the fact that her dreams probably weren't premonitions, not to mention a bit stunned to hear that her father had actually apologized for adding to her stress-load. She _didn't_ tell him about the most recent dream, since the problem appeared to be solved, and also because she didn't really want to think about it herself. Jacob kissed her soundly and then kneaded her shoulders a couple times.

"We'll get you all relaxed," he said reassuringly. "Don't you worry."

"I'm not," She replied, and she meant it. She went to school with a smile on her face and a spring in her step. Things were starting to feel right again.

oooOOOooo

"What are you doing after the lecture?" Clara asked Renesmee and Rideau as she crouched down behind their chairs, one arm over each of their shoulders. All three of them were attending a special guest lecture at the school that afternoon, and had automatically fallen into their Monday class formation, with Rideau and Renesmee sitting together at the front of the hall and Clara sitting on her own, behind them. Renesmee narrowly avoided cracking up as she and Rideau exchanged a rather dubious look.

"Why do I get the feeling you have the answer to that question already?" Rideau said to Clara with a charming smile. She gave him a light smack.

"Smartass. I only ask because I want to show you guys something." She grinned widely. "Well, actually I wanted to show Ness. But you can tag along if you want."

"Gee thanks."

Renesmee snickered quietly at them. It surprised her how Clara and Rideau had begun to get along… they were so different. Her two friends had begun to develop an easy sort of banter in the time since she and Rideau had made up. He'd begun hanging out with her and Clara more often in between classes, and the three of them had turned into a sort of trio. It was strange; Renesmee had never really had a close human friend at all, and now she was officially part of a _group_. When she thought back to her days in high school, when she'd fit in with her classmates physically but not emotionally, she could remember how the others used to travel in packs, like wolves. They moved together as one, anticipated each others' movements, they had each others' backs. She'd always felt like a lone nomadic vampire next to them, devoid of the sort of camaraderie they enjoyed. Now she was part of a small yet similar group… and it was _nice_.

"I'm free," she said casually. "Coffee on the way to wherever it is?"

"Absolutely. My treat… call it a fair trade for monopolizing your Friday afternoon." Clara stood up. "Put on your listening caps, kiddies… lecture's starting." She turned on her heel and ducked quickly under the railing that separated the rows, popping up behind her own desk a moment later and settling back into her own seat with a satisfied smile, leaving Rideau and Renesmee snickering in front of her.

After class (and after they'd gotten their mid-afternoon Starbucks), Clara lead them just off campus to a waiting towncar. It immediately stated uptown. Rideau teased Clara a bit about their extravagant transportation, while Renesmee reclined against the soft leather seat and watched them tease each other, amused by their banter. Finally they pulled up in front of a tall skyscraper, and Clara ushered them all out of the car. As they approached the huge building she looked up, shading her eyes against the glare of the sun.

"Well, here it is," she said proudly. "Sixty-one stories, nearly a thousand rooms, Swimming pool, ballroom, five-star restaurant and ten separate bars… Welcome, lady and gentleman, to the new Wilder Luxury Suites, the newest jewel in the family fleet." She clapped her gloved hands together and grinned at them. "There's no place like home."

Renesmee was sure her facial expression matched Rideau's rather closely. "You're moving… here?" She asked incredulously. Clara's grin was almost blinding.

"I've been playing it close to the chest until I knew it was for certain, but now that building is complete and the doors are just about ready to open, it's safe to come out with it. It's still a couple weeks until Christmas, but my father apparently couldn't wait to give me my present." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a key on an expensive-looking ring emblazoned with the word "Penthouse". Rideau nearly choked on his coffee.

"You're going to live on the top of that thing?" He asked doubtfully, looking up into the sky. Clara nodded gleefully.

"But that's not the best part," she said conspiratorially.

"I can't even begin to imagine what is."

She shot Rideau a withering look. "Listen, Greenwich, if you're bored with this you can just skedaddle. I'm sure there's a poetry reading somewhere that you can attend." Rideau just laughed in response.

"The Mean-Girl act doesn't really scare me, Clara," he said lightly. Clara rolled her eyes.

"So I've heard." She turned to Renesmee. "What I'm _trying_ to tell you guys is that, until the new flagship hotel officially opens in the spring, this place will be completely vacant. With the exception of security and the staff who come and go during business hours, I'll be the sole inhabitant of this little nest."

"Wow," was all Renesmee could say. Rideau's jaw was practically on the ground.

"It's good to be you, isn't it?" he said when he'd recovered. Clara flashed that same mischievous grin.

"It's good to be me." She rattled her keys on the chain. "It's also good to be _you_, right now, because you happen to be on my good side. So… you two ever been inside an empty hotel before?"

Renesmee shook her head, while Rideau said, "Nope."

"Well, come on. It's an experience." She headed for the doors. Before they even got within five feet of the building, a security guard had emerged through the revolving doorway.

"Afternoon, Miss DeWalt-Wilder," the hulking giant of a man said, nodding his head. Then he looked searchingly from Rideau to Renesmee.

"Roscoe, I really must insist that you call me Clara. Listen, I need a favor," She said lowering her sunglasses charmingly to peer over the tops of them at the guard. "These are my very dear friends, Rideau Linley and Ness Cullen. I want you to put the word out that they are to be admitted to the building whenever they wish. And I do mean whenever, whether I'm in or not. They're to have full access to the gyms, the pools, whatever they like."

Roscoe the guard looked a bit conflicted. "You know I'm not supposed let anyone in without Mr. Wilder's permission, Clara." He leaned in towards her. "I don't want to get canned."

"You won't," Clara said with absolute certainty. "Don't worry about my father… I'll handle him. You just take care of letting the other guys know, and leave the rest to me." She winked, and Renesmee was surprised to see the enormous man blush. She just barely managed to swallow her laughter by biting the insides of her cheeks.

"Well, all right then," said Roscoe the guard, stepping ever-so-slightly to the side and gesturing towards the doors. "Welcome to the Wilder."

"Uh, thanks," Rideau said as he sidestepped the other friend and stepped into the revolving doors. He looked like a child next to the guard, who Renesmee guessed was probably about half a foot taller than her Uncle Emmett, until now the largest man she'd ever seen in person. Herself, she was a little more than half his size.

"Nice to meet you, Roscoe," she said as she passed him.

"Miss," Roscoe replied with a smile and a nod.

"Isn't he a dear?" Clara whispered to them as they approached the elevator. Renesmee didn't answer; she was too absorbed by her surroundings. It was surreal to see such a beautiful and ornate hotel lobby, completely empty of patrons and staff. There were a couple more security personnel stationed throughout the room, but beyond that the lobby was empty and silent.

"This is weird," Rideau said, voicing her thoughts. Clara laughed, the sound slicing through the silence and echoing through the room.

"I know… but then you get used to it and it's actually _really_ nice. Like the whole world exists just for you, kind of." She shrugged. "I mean, there's no housekeeping staff or room service yet, obviously. But my suite has a kitchen, and I bring in a lady to do all the tidy-up, so really it's just the way it'll be once we open up, minus all the people. It's great: it feels completely private, like having just the most massive house you can imagine all to yourself."

Rideau had barely stopped shaking his head from the moment they walked up to the building. "I repeat: It's good to be you."

"It's good to be me."

The elevator doors opened right into the penthouse, and Clara strolled right into the room and spread her arms wide. "Welcome to my humble abode," she said, spinning around. "Come in, make yourselves at home!" They did, with Rideau moving straight to the windows to check out the view.

"Wo-o-ow," was all he said.

"That's nothing," Clara said with a wave of her hand. "You might want to keep your coat on… and follow me."

A minute later, they were stepping onto the open terrace that surrounded the penthouse suite. Rideau pulled his coat further around himself as the wind buffeted them from all directions; Renesmee made a bit of a show of doing the same, although the cold barely registered against her impermeable skin.

"Check it out," Clara said, gesturing over the railing. They stepped forward, and Renesmee looked out over the edge. The city spread before them, loud and bright and vibrant. She could see the water, gleaming between the tall, beautiful buildings, and thousands of people milling around on the sidewalks and in the parks, their different colored coats and scarves making them appear as a small rainbow of moving dots.

"Incredible," Renesmee said, taking a breath of cool air into her lungs. She had certainly seen things in her short lifetime that were perhaps more strange and wonderful, but looking at the normal human activity of this beautiful city from such a height, in the open air, was an unexpected thrill. Leaning over the railing to look straight down, she felt Rideau and Clara do the same on either side of her. It was a startling realization that she felt just as safe here, with these two humans, as she did with her strong, immortal family, or with Jacob. As if her love for her friends could knock down any adversary. It was an odd, heady feeling. She laughed, suddenly and loudly.

"What?" Clara said, giving her a look that was both curious and amused. Renesmee shook her head, feeling the strong wind toss her curls away from her face.

"Nothing. I just… like it up here." Clara grinned.

"Well, now that I'm going to be living here full time, you'll have to make yourself at home. And often." She peered around Renesmee to look at Rideau. "You too, Greenwich."

"Thanks." He said it sarcastically, but Renesmee could tell by his look that Rideau was impressed by Clara's offer, and flattered.

They took a tour around the hotel, and Clara showed them several of the more impressive features: the beautiful indoor swimming pool, the gym, a couple of the bars and the lounge. Renesmee couldn't understand why the hotel couldn't open, if all of the rooms were finished and everything was ready for guests to start checking in. When she asked, Clara's response was a scowl.

"Insurance," she said, sounding like she thought it was ridiculous. "There was some sort of snag with our coverage… some miniscule building code thing that apparently is going to take a couple months to iron out. Something to do with wires or pipes or… well, I really don't know, but it's silly, and it's being fixed. My father's not exactly thrilled about it… but these things happen. He'll make up the lost profits eventually." She gave a quick snort of laughter. "I actually had to sign a waiver saying I wouldn't sue if anything happens, since we're not insured and I'm going to be moving in before everything's all set. I mean, did you ever?"

Rideau looked at her askance. "Does your father actually think you'd sue him?" He asked, incredulous. Clara shrugged.

"Dunno. He has a lot of lawyers… generally speaking, they tell him what to think. It really doesn't bother me."

"So, if you're moving in here, what's happening to your rooms at the old hotel?" Renesmee asked, an idea forming in her head.

As she spoke, Clara ushered them toward the elevator, and she hit the button for the foyer. "For now, I've got both places, but I guess once I'm all settled here, it'll be vacant for a while. They'll probably do some renos, match the décor of the rest of the place and make it into another luxury suite for the flagship. It's all business, you know. But I don't think my father's in any real rush… he seems to be fine with me taking my time moving."

Renesmee nodded slowly. It could work, if she was able to convince everybody involved that her idea was a good one.

"Um," Rideau piped up, checking his phone, "I've gotta head out… it's almost 4:30."

Clara raised an eyebrow at him. "Somewhere you need to be?"

"I have a… uh, a thing." He fiddled with the zipper of his coat, pulled out his phone again, looked at it, put it back. "This hotel is amazing. Thanks for inviting me to hang out. I'll definitely take you up on that soon."

Clara looked amused. Renesmee was just bewildered. "My driver should be hanging around out front, if you need a lift back downtown," Clara offered, a tiny ghost of a smile on her face. Rideau nodded quickly.

"Thanks, Clara… I'll probably do that."

"Let us walk you out," Clara said, taking Renesmee's arm and guiding them out of the elevator. When they reached the entrance, she leaned out the door and waved at the driver, then pointed to Rideau, before ducking back inside. Roscoe watched them silently from across the foyer.

"Huh," Renesmee said, watching through the door as Rideau climbed into the towncar.

"Well," said Clara, "_That_ was weird."

"Extremely." Renesmee puzzled it over. It wasn't like Rideau to be strange or secretive with her… or with anyone, for that matter. She couldn't help but feel a little bit hurt.

"Don't think about it," Clara ordered, and Renesmee decided her friend was right. Dwelling on Rideau's strange behavior would only lead to her feeling upset and paranoid. And she'd been experiencing too much of both of those things lately.

"Okay, then… I won't!" She smiled over at her friend. "So, I've got this mission, and I was wondering if you'd be willing to help me out with it?"

"Ooh, a mission!" Clara gave her a conspiratorial look. "Top-secret mafia business on behalf of your Papa, the Godfather?"

"My father is not in the mafia." Renesmee couldn't help but chuckle at her friend's commitment to the running gag. If only Clara knew the truth… she couldn't even begin to imagine how the other girl would react. "But actually, it is something to do with him, I guess." It was strange… when she talked to Clara about her father, she had a sort of hybrid construct of her actual father and Carlisle on which she based her stories. It didn't really matter how she portrayed her family, since the likelihood of any of her human friends actually meeting them was slim to nil, but she thought it was a good idea to at least partially stick to the cover story in which Carlisle and Esme were her adoptive parents, just in case.

"Do tell," Clara said, taking her arm again as they went back into the elevator.

"Well, you remember how I told you my father is a doctor?" And then she launch into a highly edited version of the conversation she'd had with her father and grandfather (or brother and father, as far as Clara was concerned) about her horribly vivid dreams, and how she'd been handed a prescription for relaxation. Clara listened intently, without making any off-the-cuff remarks. When Renesmee had finished, she gave her friend a doubtful look. "Do you think I'm nuts now?"

"Oh, Honey… I grew up with a bunch of debutantes. I'd say you're probably the _least_ crazy person I've ever had the privilege of calling a friend." Clara gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "It makes total sense, though, what your father said… You've got school, a new relationship that your family's being weird about, that big blow-out with Rideau and the subsequent make-up, and on top of that you've got houseguests. No wonder you're stressed out… I'd have hulked out by now, for sure."

Renesmee laughed, relieved. She should have expected Clara would be easy-going about the whole thing. "Come on… I'm sure you'd handle it much more gracefully than I do."

"Well, maybe… but that's probably because I'd end up paying people to handle it for me."

"Touche. So I was wondering if maybe you wanted to help me find something fun and low-key to do?"

"Oh, absolutely!" Clara clapped her hands together, a scheming look on her face. "Maybe a spa trip? No, _definitely_ a spa trip."

"I'm going to tell you something a bit shocking… promise not to freak out."

Clara narrowed her eyes. "I'll try."

Renesmee took a deep breath. "I've never been to a spa."

"_WHAT_?" Clara's mouth hung open, her jaw slack. "You have _got_ to be kidding me. What kind of rich girl _are_ you?"

"The reclusive kind?" Renesmee shrugged. "I've got very aesthetically-gifted sisters… with the amount of attention they've paid to my hair, nails and skin, I don't think I could have even managed to fit a spa visit into my schedule."

Clara just shook her head. "This is a travesty. You give me ten minutes, I'll set us up right away."

"Today?" Renesmee took out her phone and looked at the time. "I should call Jacob… he's probably expecting me to come home…"

"Give me your phone." Clara put out her hand, a very firm look on her face.

"Why?" Renesmee asked slowly. Clara raised one eyebrow, otherwise staying perfectly still.

"Just give it." After a moment's deliberation, she handed it over. Whatever Clara was planning to do, it couldn't be that bad, and it was likely to be amusing.

Clara touched the screen a few times, then held the phone up to her ear. Renesmee could hear the ringing very clearly, and she could hear when it stopped and a very familiar voice said, "Hey!"

"Is this Jacob?" Clara asked, giving her a wink. Renesmee winced.

"Who is this?" Jacob's voice said from the other end of the line. He sounded worried. Maybe she should take her phone back, Renesmee thought.

"This is Clara DeWalt-Wilder… you know, Ness's friend who you for some reason still have not met." She gave Renesmee a pointed look. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be kidnapping your girlfriend for the rest of the afternoon. Don't you worry… she's in good hands, and I promise to return her in better condition than she was in when you last saw her."

"Um… okay?" Renesmee stifled a chuckle at Jacob's confusion, evident even through the tinny sound of the phone. She put her hand out for the phone, at the same time that Jacob said, "Can I talk to her? Is she there?"

"You have thirty seconds," Clara said firmly before handing her the phone.

"Hi, Jake," Renesmee said, narrowing her eyes at her friend. "Sorry about that."

"No she's not," Clara piped up, loudly enough for Jacob to hear. Renesmee swatted her away and turned her back, shielding the phone from her friend's reach.

"I'm starting to think we may have a crazy person on our hands," Jacob said. Renesmee chuckled.

"You may be on to something there," she admitted, "Anyway, we're just going to do some stuff… I'll be home later, okay?"

"Okay, Sweetheart… have a good time." It sounded suspiciously like Jacob was humoring her. She didn't really care, as long as he didn't get freaked out about her going missing for a few hours.

"I will. Love you."

"Love you too." She hung up before Clara could tell her that she'd used up her thirty seconds. The blonde girl already had her own phone out and was booking a spa appointment.

A little over an hour later, they were seated side-by-side in a private room at the back of the very expensive-looking spa, their feet submerged in the miniature whirlpools attached to their giant armchairs, while two very friendly manicurists sat at their sides, polishing their nails. Clara rolled her head across the headrest, the rest of her body completely still, and grinned over at Renesmee.

"You see?" She said loftily, "Relaxation."

Renesmee felt a bit awkward carrying on a conversation while completely ignoring the manicurists' presence in the room, but Clara didn't seem bothered by it at all. A woman in a crisp black and white uniform entered the room with a tray, bringing to them the beverages they'd ordered off a menu with no prices. She hadn't known what to get, so Clara had ordered on her behalf, and from the looks of things she'd ended up with something tall, frosty and probably alcoholic. She smiled in spite of herself.

"I'm beginning to get it," she said, a bit sarcastically. With her free hand, she picked up her drink and took a long sip through the straw. It tasted like a tropical vacation.

"So," Clara said casually, swirling her own drink in its glass, "How much longer do you have to play hostess to your boyfriend's buddies?"

"It's not like that," Renesmee said quickly. "They're my friends too! They've just known Jacob a lot longer. And I like having them around, really…"

"…But you want your place back. Right?"

She hesitated, then decided if she was going to vent to anybody, it might as well be Clara. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't. It was just so perfect when it was just me and Jake. And like I said, I love having Leah and the guys around… but it's kind of close quarters, and they're… well, they're really _big_ people." Clara chuckled and took another sip of her drink. Renesmee continued. "Embry's not really any trouble, aside from the fact that he eats all the food in the fridge before I can get to it. Seth is… okay, I _love_ Seth, but he's so _loud_. And Leah…" She gave a heavy sigh. "Leah's a bit more drama than I can handle sometimes. And she's not exactly speaking to me right now, which you might think would help with the drama thing… but trust me, it doesn't." She exhaled slowly, and then gave Clara a small, apologetic smile. "Sorry, didn't mean to rant."

Clara shook her head. "Rant away, my friend. That's what I'm here for." She took another sip of her drink and said, "So the scary girl's mad at you? Let me guess: a snag in the romantic set-up plot?"

"I don't know!" Renesmee narrowly resisted throwing her hands in the air, remembering at the last moment that somebody was currently applying polish to her nails. "She won't tell me what happened when they went out, and Rideau's no help at all… I tried to ask him, but he just mumbled and then changed the subject." She scowled. "Leah's punishing me because I tricked her." Clara obviously knew about the plan to back out of the skating date; Renesmee had gotten her approval before she'd done it.

"I hate to say 'I told you so'," Clara said, and then abruptly stopped for a moment. "Well, no, actually… I _love_ to say 'I told you so'."

Renesmee gave her a withering look, hard to do when her feet were currently being massaged with some sort of peppermint-scented lotion. "Oh, shut up."

Clara gave her best attempt at a sober expression. "So what do you think happened between Little Miss Sunshine and our Downtown Romeo? Disaster?"

She shook her head. "I'm not sure. Jacob says he thinks it went well, and that Leah's just pissed because I tried to trick her."

"I guess that's possible." Clara looked down at her hands, examining her fingernail polish with a pleased expression. She turned back to Renesmee. "I've gotta ask: Why do you even care? I mean, it all seems pretty random, this set-up, and if it's just not working… well, why do you want to push it so hard?"

How was she supposed to explain the situation to Clara without giving too much away, Renesmee wondered with a frown. She realized how it must look to her friend, like she was trying to shove two very mismatched people together for her own bizarre interests. "It's hard to explain," was what she finally settled on. Clara nodded knowingly.

"Okay… honesty time, Ness," She said, looking Renesmee straight in the eye. "Tell me, seriously: are you just doing this to make up for breaking poor Rideau's little heart?"

Renesmee was taken aback. "What? No!" She shook her head vehemently. "Not at all!"

Clara looked at her searchingly, a fleeting look of confusion crossing her face. Renesmee couldn't help but compare Clara's searching look to the one her father got when she was scrambling her thoughts and he was trying to interpret them. It was a strange association to make. Then, suddenly, Clara's normal, pleasant expression had returned. "Okay. I just wanted to make sure. Because as much as I rag on him, I think Reed's a good guy, and I wouldn't want him to get too much more messed up over you." She winced. "Ouch, that sounded really harsh. I didn't mean it like that."

"I know what you meant," Renesmee said quietly. It was harsh… but she actually felt good about the fact that Clara had said it. It meant that she, too, had their friend's best interests at heart. "I _did_ hurt him. And I do want to make things right, make up for that. But that's _not_ why I'm hoping he and Leah hit it off. Not even close."

Clara had a rather apologetic look on her face. "I'm sorry, Ness… I didn't mean to reprimand you. I'm supposed to be helping you relax, and here I am grilling you about you intentions! I think I'm failing at my mission." She looked genuinely disturbed at the idea, and Renesmee had to laugh at her look of utter distress.

"Don't worry about it. You're just looking out for a friend." She smiled a little. "I'm sure Reed would appreciate it, if he knew."

Clara rolled her eyes. "I can't help it… I like that little nerd." And then she changed the subject completely.

Renesmee insisted on paying for their spa visit, despite Clara's insistence that she should be the one to foot the bill. After everything was settled, they stepped outside and into Clara's waiting towncar. Renesmee assumed that her friend would offer to take her back downtown, but to her surprise Clara turned to her and placed a hand on her arm.

"Ness, do you think you might be able to come back to the penthouse for a bit? I… want to talk to you about something."

There was a look on Clara's face that Renesmee had never seen there before: doubt. It threw her completely off balance, and she just nodded dumbly, patting her friend's manicured hand with her own. "Sure. Just let me call Jacob." She pulled out her cell phone, then paused. "Are you okay?"

"Mmhm." The answer was fully unconvincing, and Renesmee began to worry as she punched in Jacob's speed dial number and waited for him to answer.

"Hey," she said softly when he picked up, "I'm going over to Clara's for a bit… I might be a bit later than I said earlier."

"Is everything alright?" Jacob said, sounding really concerned. "You've been weird all day."

"I haven't," Renesmee said automatically, even though she knew it was probably true. Running out of bed early in the morning to call her family, and then jumping him immediately when she was done, the strange phone call earlier, and now this… Jacob was probably freaking out. She cast a sideways glance at Clara; her friend was oddly withdrawn, staring out the tinted window at the now-dark streets. "Look, Jake, I'll be home later and I promise I will explain everything. I just need a couple hours." She paused. "Okay?"

There was a long pause from the other end of the line. "Okay." Another pause. "Let me know when you're on your way home."

"I will. I love you."

"You too."

It was a fairly silent ride back to the hotel, and Renesmee's sense of creeping dread only grew. It wasn't like Clara to be so silent, or so secretive. And no matter how pleasantly her friend smiled at Roscoe the security guard as they went into the huge, empty building, it never reached her eyes. They rode the elevator up to the penthouse in dreadful silence.

"Do you want a drink?" Clara said as soon as they reached the penthouse. "I would like a drink."

"Clara," Renesmee said firmly, "What's going on?"

"Just give me a minute." Clara wouldn't look at her as she bustled about getting glasses and ice. After a moment, she crossed the room, two glasses of clear, fizzing liquid in her hands. "Here… Gin and tonic." Renesmee took the glass she offered and sat down. Clara knocked half of her own drink back immediately, then sat across from her.

"Okay. I didn't want to do this now, when I'm supposed to be all about helping you. But I just… I have to tell you, before this goes any further, before I…" She took a deep breath. "You just have to know."

Renesmee took in the torrent of words that came flooding from Clara's lips with a modicum of shock. "Clara," She said softly, "What the heck are you talking about?"

It was there again, that unfamiliar expression of doubt. It looked so strange on the other girl's normally confident face that Renesmee almost felt she was looking at another person. "I've been keeping a secret from you, Ness," Clara said, looking over at her, her gray eyes wide and watery. "And I can't do it anymore."

"A secret?" Renesmee's thoughts immediately flew to her own secrets, the many, many huge details of her life that she'd been keeping from her friend. She tried her best to laugh it off, but all that came out was a sort of hoarse burst of sound. Even her laughter sounded guilty. "How bad could it be?"

Clara pursed her lips. "Well, it's a big enough thing that I've never told anybody else, not in my whole life."

"Oh." What could it be, she wondered? Clara was human; what could she possibly be hiding that would surprise a half-vampire? She almost wished she _could_ tell Clara all about herself, just to remove that weird look of anxiety from the other girl's face and bring back her carefree, easy-going friend. It had to be bad… she knew Clara, and she knew that only something major could possibly cause her this much anxiety. In a split second, she made her decision: Clara was her friend. It didn't matter what her secret was… she would stand by her, no matter what.

"Tell me," she said finally. And then she braced herself for the impact of whatever the answer might be.

**In the Next Chapter:**

_And there it was again, that line that Renesmee didn't know if she should cross. Clara had just laid bare her innermost secret. Could Renesmee really lie to her, tell her she was just an accepting person, and that it wasn't a big deal? Could she keep her own secret, after Clara had risked so much to be honest with her?_

_ No, she decided. She couldn't._

Questions? Comments? Review! I'll answer!


	36. Stranger Things

**AN: **Thanks to all the reviewers… I'm sorry I left you with such a cliff hanger. Thanks for being patient =)

So here it is… Clara's secret. If anybody has any questions, you know how to get them answered… review! I know this chapter is a bit shorter than the others… but I hope you'll think it's worth it anyway!

Not much else to add… thanks for reading, everyone, and have a great week!

Enjoy!

~crit.

**Chapter 36: Stranger Things**

Clara breathed deeply, one hand clutching her drink as if her life depended on it. Renesmee could hear the human girl's heart beating rapidly. She managed a small, encouraging smile.

"You're not going to believe me," Clara said as a warning.

"Try me."

"Okay…" Clara shook her head. "I know exactly how this is going to sound to you… but I promise you it's true."

"Clara!" The other girl almost jumped as Renesmee raised her voice. "Please just spit it out!"

The old Clara shone through for a moment as she broke out in a short burst of laughter. "Sorry. Okay. Okay. I'm just going to say it." She paused, and then her eyes met Renesmee's. "I always get what I want."

There was an expectant sort of silence between them as Renesmee waited for her to continue. When it became evident that Clara wasn't going to say anything further, Renesmee gave her a dubious look. "And?"

"That's… that's my secret."

Renesmee narrowly avoided the urge to laugh. "That's not exactly a secret, Clara."

"No, you don't understand!" Clara set down her drink. It hit the table with such a clatter that Renesmee almost thought the glass had broken. "I _always_ get whatever I ask for." She gave her a loaded look. "Always."

The thought of her family, with their special abilities, came the Renesmee's mind, but she pushed the idea away. That was impossible. "You're rich," she said, "People tend to give rich people whatever they want."

Clara closed her eyes, a pained expression on her face. "Would you just…" Then she stopped, suddenly, opening her eyes. "Okay… Let me put it another way. I can… _make_ people do things. Things they wouldn't have otherwise done. Just by telling them to. I don't know how, I don't know why… but I've always been able to, and since I met you it's gotten stronger. A whole lot stronger."

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Maybe it _was_ possible… "Are you saying," Renesmee asked slowly, "That you can control people with your mind?"

"Oh god," Clara moaned, burying her face in one hand. "Don't say it like that! It makes me sound like a supervillain."

"There's no such thing as a supervillain," Renesmee said numbly. Clara raised her eyes to look at her.

"What if there is?" She asked, her voice quiet. "What if I'm it?"

Renesmee got up from her chair and moved to crouch in front of where her friend sat. "Don't even," she said firmly. "You are NOT a supervillian. You're not even a remotely bad person." She took the other girl's hands. "You can't let yourself think like that."

Clara's eyes widened. "You believe me," she almost whispered, "Don't you?" Renesmee didn't answer, knowing that Clara already knew anyway. "_Why_ would you believe me?"

"Stranger things exist in the world," she replied. "At least… one would assume."

Clara pulled back a bit. "Ness… why are you taking this so calmly? Why do you even believe me?"

Renesmee was torn. Could she risk telling Clara about herself? Was that something she could even think of doing? "Have you ever lied to me before?" She asked, avoiding her own moral question for the moment. Clara shook her head.

"Never. You're the first person I've ever been completely honest with, Ness… and I knew I had to tell you, because I don't _want_ to lie to you. And the more time we spend together, the more I'm going to slip up and use this… thing… on you." She stopped for a moment, pulling further back, a guilty look in her eyes. "I did it today. I didn't mean to… it's a habit, and sometimes I forget…"

"When we were talking about Rideau," Renesmee said, half to herself. She felt the shock of it physically. Someone had used a power on her, someone outside of her family, and she hadn't even known. She'd actually convinced herself that the strange feeling was due to her own paranoia, a product of years spent in conversation with her mid-reading father. "You told me to tell you the truth, and you got this _look…_ and I did, right away." She looked at Clara in wonder. "I didn't even notice… I thought I was doing it on my own."

"It's not the first time," Clara said heavily. "I never meant to… with you, but like I said, it's a habit, and it's so much stronger now, sometimes it just happens before I can catch myself."

"When?" Renesmee felt her blood go cold as she anticipated the answer. How much of their friendship had been compulsion? Just the thought of it made her feel a bit ill.

"Not very often!" Clara was quick to answer. "Mostly just when you've been hesitating about giving me an answer to things… I've caught myself asking you to tell me stuff when you're being cagey… which you are, by the way. A lot." Renesmee said nothing; it was true, she _was_ cagey. "I also did it earlier today, when Rideau was acting weird and you were about to start freaking out about it… I got you off the idea. And, well… when you were waffling over whether or not to tell Jacob how you felt about him, and I told you to just do it? That was a bit of compulsion, too. I just couldn't stand to see you torture yourself like that any longer. And before I could think about it, the words just slipped from my mouth."

As shocked as she was, Renesmee felt a bit of relief. If Clara was telling her the truth, then she hadn't ever used her ability on her in any sort of really horrible way. And all she could think about were the technical aspects of the situation. "That was a phone call. We weren't even in the same place… how does _that_ work?"

Clara shrugged. "I'm pretty sure it's a verbal thing… proximity doesn't seem to make a difference. As far as I can figure, it's something to do with the sound of my voice, or the way I say it or something like that." She eyed Renesmee a bit warily. "Are you absolutely furious with me?"

Renesmee thought about it. She _could_ be, easily. A normal human being probably would be… that is, assuming they didn't just write her off as crazy. But what right did _she_, Renesmee Cullen, daughter of the things that go bump in the night, have to judge Clara for her ability?

"No," she said, "I'm not mad."

A look of intense relief came onto Clara's face, and she shook her head as if in disbelief. "I'm a bit freaked out by how well you're taking this."

And there it was again, that line that Renesmee didn't know if she should cross. Clara had just laid bare her innermost secret. Could Renesmee really lie to her, tell her she was just an accepting person, and that it wasn't a big deal? Could she keep her own secret, after Clara had risked so much to be honest with her?

No, she decided. She couldn't.

"There's a reason for that," she said. This time, she was the one who had to take a deep breath. A little voice that sounded suspiciously like her father shouted at her from inside her head to keep her mouth shut. She ignored it. "I _am_ surprised… very. But… I think it's my turn to make a confession."

Now Clara looked truly baffled. "What could you possibly say to follow up what I just told you?" She said, raising an eyebrow. "Don't tell me you think you can out-crazy me."

"And then some," she said, not without a hint of humour. Clara's face went dead serious.

"What'dyou mean?" She asked. Renesmee took another breath.

"Stay still… and trust me," she said. And then she raised her hand to Clara's cheek.

She thought of a series of pictures: The first time she'd seen Clara in their Monday morning lecture, Clara sitting across the table from her at their very first lunch outing, trying on her new Burberry trenchcoat in her room at the loft, the moment on the balcony of the penthouse earlier that afternoon. She followed it all up with a thought: _You're not the only one who can get inside peoples' heads._

"Whoa!" Clara jumped out of her seat, away from Renesmee's touch, effectively breaking their mental connection. "What the hell was that?"

Renesmee stood as well, dropping her hands flat against her sides. "I told you it was crazy." Clara was gaping at her in open wonder.

"That's… unbelievable! As in, I actually can't believe it just happened." Clara brought a hand to her face, where Renesmee had touched her, and then moved her fingers slowly to her temple. "That's… wait a minute, do I have a brain tumour? I'm imagining this, aren't I?"

She was joking about it, Renesmee thought with surprise. She felt herself grin, in spite of the utter seriousness of what was happening. "Nope," she said, holding up her hand and wiggling her fingers. "I make pictures. It's… _my_ thing."

"Oh wow. Oh _wow._" Clara shook her head again. "Those weren't exactly pictures, Ness. It's like I was really there!"

"You were," Renesmee reminded her. Clara rolled her eyes.

"I meant 'again', obviously!" She took a tentative step forward. "Will you… can you do it again?" Renesmee grinned.

"I'm a bit freaked out by how well you're taking this," she said with a hint of irony. Clara laughed.

"Guess that makes us both freaks." Now they were both laughing. "Seriously," Clara said, pointing to her own cheek, "Do it again. That was so cool!"

Renesmee shrugged. Why not? "Something else you've already seen, or something new?"

"Ooh, new! Of course."

"Okay, check it out…" She brought her hand up and touched her fingertips to Clara's face. She thought hard about her aunts (or, as Clara knew them, her sisters). _Alice,_ she thought clearly as she visualized her aunt, and then, _Rosalie_. She followed with more family members. _Emmett… Jasper. _She didn't dare picture her parents, lest she think of them as "mom and dad", and she didn't want to risk her grandparents either, for basically the same reason. One secret at a time. Finally, she thought of her favorite face in the whole world, and projected it with all her might. _Jacob._

"Okay," Clara said when she pulled her hand away, "_Now _I get why you haven't introduced us… if I had one like him, I'd keep him to myself, too."

Renesmee burst out laughing. "Seriously, Clara… is now really the time?"

"I only speak the truth," Clara said with a shrug. "He's hot." Then, much more earnestly, "You have a beautiful family."

"Thanks," She replied, feeling pretty proud of herself.

"Don't you have two other siblings?"

Renesmee shrugged it off. "Yeah… but there are so many of them I figured you'd get bored." Clara chuckled at that.

"Touche. Hey, you want another drink?" Renesmee was startled by the change in subject, but she realized as soon as Clara mentioned it that she _did_ want another drink—badly. She nodded emphatically, grabbed their glasses and started towards the kitchen.

"I do, in fact. I'll get it," she said, reaching for the ice bucket. As her hand closed around the cool metal of the tongs, she stopped suddenly and turned to see her friend watching her with an amused smirk.

"I was wondering how long it would take for you to catch it," Clara said, sounding pretty satisfied with herself. Renesmee's eyes went wide.

"Did you just…" Clara nodded. "Huh. It's so subtle… I wouldn't have even noticed if it hadn't already been on my mind!" She poured them both another drink anyway, in spite of the fact that the request had been a ruse. They could probably use it, regardless.

Clara accepted her drink gratefully. "It's less subtle when it's something more questionable than a second Gin and Tonic. Some people take a bit of convincing… but I can generally get them to cave. Roscoe, down there, is a good example… when I tried to get him to let you and Reed into the building without question, he was pretty hesitant. He's fiercely loyal to my dad, and he doesn't like to go against orders, so I had to work on him a bit. Actually, he went quite a bit faster than he usually does. Once I convinced him that he wouldn't lose his job, it was a piece of cake. He won't by the way," she added quickly. "On the off chance that my father objects, I can talk him down. The old fashioned way… I don't compel my parents, if I can help it."

They spent the next hour or so sprawled out on the couches, swapping various stories about their abilities. Clara told Renesmee about using her powers of persuasion to talk her way into clubs and parties as a teenager. Renesmee told Clara about using her ability to talk to her family before she'd learned how to speak, and about how sometimes she transferred images to Jacob in their sleep without meaning to.

"I can't believe your family knows," Clara mused thoughtfully. "I'm pretty sure my parents would have had me locked up long ago if they knew."

Renesmee raised an eyebrow. "Come on. Not really?"

"Okay, well maybe it would be a bit less severe than that… but I think it would freak them out some. I mean, your power is totally innocent, but mine… I think people would probably react badly if they knew what I can do." She looked pointedly at Renesmee. "Most people don't like the idea that somebody else might be able to control their mind without them even realizing it."

"That's true." An idea formed in Renesmee's mind. "Is there, like, a cap on your ability or something?"

"What'dyou mean?" Clara asked, chewing absent-mindedly on a cocktail straw. Renesmee tried to think of the right way to word her question.

"If you tried to convince somebody to do something they… really didn't want to do… could you?" She looked at her friend sideways, afraid to ask the question too directly. "I mean, where does it stop? _Does _it even stop?"

Clara sighed, and Renesmee could tell this was something she'd thought of before, at the very least. "I don't exactly know for sure. I've never tried to get someone to do something really… questionable. Of course, I've always wondered… but not enough to actually try doing it."

This answer should have relieved Renesmee greatly, but to her mild horror she found herself wishing she could take Clara's powers for a spin, see how far her influence could stretch. She shoved the feeling back, smiling and nodding. "That makes sense," she said, trying to sound normal. _Everybody has impulses that are wrong from time to time,_ she told herself firmly. _Temptation is a part of being alive_.

"It's a moral question, really," Clara continued. "I mean, I'm certainly no angel, but there are lines that even _I_ won't cross. And I guess making somebody do something that's against their beliefs, something they'd consider harmful or wrong, is one of those lines. But sometimes… well, I still wonder sometimes what I could do, if I tried." Her brows drew together, and she looked questioningly at Renesmee. "Is that really bad?"

Renesmee shook her head. "I don't think so. You'd have to wonder, wouldn't you? How could you not?"

Clara shrugged. "I'm sure there are some people in the world who'd be good enough not to think about something like that."

"I doubt that." She gave Clara a pointed look. "I think you're giving the rest of the human race a little too much credit." Clara laughed.

"If you say so." She took a sip of her drink. "Seriously, though… I think it's great that your family knows about you. I can't believe they're so cool about it. I mean, do you know if they freaked out initially, or what?"

Renesmee shook her head. "No. I mean, it's not like they were expecting it, but I think they got used to it pretty quickly." She looked over at Clara to find the other girl watching her appraisingly. "What?"

Clara narrowed her eyes. "It all makes sense," She said, sounding like she was almost talking to herself. "Everything from your reaction onwards… You know more about this than you've told me, don't you?" Renesmee paused for a moment before nodding. Clara blinked, then shook her head. "Holy cow. There's more, isn't there? More weird stuff… more people like us."

Again, Renesmee nodded. The conversation had taken a turn that would again result in her having to make a decision between hiding the truth and revealing it. Another half truth would have to do. "There's more," she confirmed quietly. A look of understanding dawned on Clara's face.

"You can't tell me, can you?" She didn't sound upset, just a bit disappointed… and curious.

"I'm sorry. Maybe someday. But for now… I just can't."

"Okay." Clara exhaled slowly through her teeth. "Wow. This has been a night, hasn't it?"

Renesmee chuckled softly. "It sure has."

Shortly after, Clara walked her down to the lobby and ushered her into her waiting car, giving her driver instructions to take her friend back downtown. Renesmee sank into the darkness and silence of the car's backseat, watching as the New York scenery moved slowly past her window as they wound their way through the traffic. She knew it probably hadn't been the wisest idea, telling Clara what she could do, letting her know that there were other instances of the supernatural out there in the world. She knew her family would be furious. She knew Jacob would probably shout at her. Everybody would think she was stupid, completely incapable of being responsible for herself. And as she got closer and closer to home, drawing nearer to the moment in time when she'd have to admit to Jacob just what she'd done, a smile spread slowly across her face, and she realized that she didn't care.

Somebody was like her. Somebody _human_ was like her. And at that moment, nothing beyond that really seemed to matter.

**In the Next Chapter:**

"_It's pretty amazing, eh?"_

_ "Yeah," Leah said, unable to meet his eye. She felt like such a coward. "It really is."_

_ Rideau shrugged. "I thought you should see it. You know… before you go home."_

_ His words hit her like a lead weight. Of course he would assume she'd be leaving soon. After all, they had originally been coming to visit for a week or two. And while she felt absolutely frantic at the idea of leaving him behind, he was mentioning as casually as possible, as though it didn't make a difference to him at all. All of a sudden, she felt like her heart was sitting on the ground, a thousand feet below her. He didn't care if she went away. He didn't care about her._

(And before you tell me that Canadians don't actually say "eh", I'll have you all know that I am a born and raised Northern girl who says it _all_ the time. Not on purpose. There just happens to be truth to the stereotype. So there)


	37. When Rideau Met Leah

**A/N: **Oh god… so busy…

First of all, I am SO SORRY for the wait. I won't offer excuses— of which there are many—just apologize profusely for how late this chapter is. It won't happen again (knock on wood).

Second of all, a HUGE thanks to everybody who reviewed the last chapter! There were a bunch of you, and I've had absolutely zero time to respond to reviews, but I'll finally be getting around to it as soon as this is posted. I wanted to get chapter 37 up first, though, because I know if I don't do it now it'll probably never get done. So, so busy.

Not much left to say, other than I love a good romantic moment! Hope you all agree with that sentiment… you'll see why

Thanks for reading! Enjoy!

~Crit.

**Chapter 37: When Rideau Met Leah**

Leah was panicking.

Twenty-three hours. That was how long it had been since she'd left Rideau on the curb in front of his building, after their outing to the ice rink. Twenty-three hours of nail-biting, sleepless anxiety. Twenty-three hours of her own private _hell_.

" "I'll give you a call tomorrow"," she muttered to herself under her breath as she paced the floor of Renesmee and Jacob's guest room. "Likely fucking story."

A shuffling outside the door made her turn suddenly. Somebody was _lurking_, and she wasn't about to let them get away with it. Stealthily, she crossed the floor, grabbed the door handle, and whipped the door open to reveal a guilty-looking Embry, his balled fist raised in mid-air. She raised and eyebrow, crossed her arms, and waited.

"Hi," he said uneasily, "I was just going to knock… were you talking to yourself?"

Leah rolled her eyes. "Or something at least equally lame," she replied, not bothering to explain. "What do you want?"

Embry took that as an invitation to enter, moving past her and sitting down on the bed. That irritated Leah, particularly since she was still trying to be mad at him and Renesmee. "I just thought I'd come up and check on you. You've been holed up in here since you came back from your run, and that was at the asscrack of dawn."

"Your point?" Leah really wasn't in the mood to have this particular discussion. In fact, she wasn't in the mood to have any discussion, with the possible exception of the one she had been hoping to have with Rideau. As the hours went slowly by, she was beginning to doubt the likelihood of that conversation ever taking place.

Embry was looking at her with that knowing expression he so often got, the one that sometimes made her want to kick him. "I'm worried that you're wallowing," he said bluntly. "I wanted to check on you and make sure that wasn't the case."

"I don't wallow," Leah said disgustedly. When Embry's only response was a short burst of laughter, she glared at him and said, "Sam doesn't count."

Embry's eyebrows raised so far they were almost in his hairline. "Wow. I'm not sure if you realize what you just said, but I think your subconscious is trying to make a point… Sam's old news." He nodded approvingly. "It's about time you figured that out."

"I didn't exactly mean it in the way you're taking it," Leah pointed out, fully aware that she was being stubborn. Embry chuckled.

"I know… but it's true all the same. He _doesn't_ count, Lee… Sam really doesn't matter, he's got no bearing on your life anymore. He hasn't in a long time." He gave her a small, tentative smile. "I know you'll probably hit me for saying it, but I'm really happy for you."

Leah didn't know exactly how to deal with that little speech. She almost felt embarrassed by it, as though Embry's pride in her ability to move on was too much for her to handle. She brushed it off with a little frown. "Yeah, well don't start celebrating yet," she muttered. "He hasn't called me. He said he would… but he hasn't."

Embry rolled his eyes at her. "Are you fifteen? That's what brought on your hibernation? Please." He stood up and moved to where she stood, gripping her by the shoulders. "I say this for your own good: You need to get a grip. He's just a normal _guy_, Leah. He doesn't get it yet. And I'm sure he likes you just fine… but seriously, you have to give him more than a day to call you. And until he does, do yourself a favor and _do_ something other than waiting. No guy wants a girl who has nothing better to do but hang around waiting for him."

Leah looked at her packmate in shock for a moment before twisting out of his grip. "Wow," she said when she had managed to free herself, "Thanks for the advice, girlfriend." Embry just laughed.

"You can make fun of me all you want, but I'm right and you know it."

Leah shrugged reluctantly. "Maybe," she allowed, and then she shook her head. "No, wait. I'm mad at you."

Again, Embry just chuckled. "Yeah. You look real mad."

She was about to answer, but at that precise moment her phone buzzed on the nightstand. It took a moment before she realized what the noise was, and when she did she practically dove past Embry to get at the cellphone. Not fast enough, apparently… he beat her to it, holding it just out of her reach as he took a peek at the display. She could tell from the look on his face that it was definitely Rideau calling.

"Wait," he said. Leah tried in vain to get at the ringing phone.

"Embry, give it back!"

"_Wait_," he said, more emphatically this time. Then he nodded and lowered the phone. "Now. Calmly."

With a snarl, Leah snatched the phone back and took a breath before answering. "Hello?" She said as nonchalantly as she could. There was a pause, and then she heard his voice.

"Hi, Leah?"

"Yeah… it's me." She tried to make her voice sound as normal as possible, but it came out sort of high and shaky anyhow. She winced.

"Hey. It's Rideau."

"Oh," She said, as if she wasn't already completely aware. "Hi!"

"How're you?"

"Good… good. You?"

"I'm great. Just on my way back downtown from hanging out with Ness and Clara." Leah felt a large twinge of irritation at the idea that Renesmee had been taking up Rideau's time when he could have been calling _her_. She pushed the uncharitable thought back, not wanting her grouchiness to come through in her tone when she spoke.

"Oh. That sounds nice."

Rideau chuckled softly. "It was, actually. I mean, it was basically a bragging mission, but if you ignore that it was pretty fun. Clara's got this new hotel…" He trailed off. "You know what? It's actually not a very interesting story. And I _do_ have a point in calling you."

"You do?" Leah felt as though she sounded like an utter moron, but she didn't dare say anything else.

"Yeah, I do. Are you busy right now?"

Leah's heart did a funny little flip. "Not especially."

"Good. I was just thinking about yesterday, and how you never would have taken part in that essential part of New York tourism if we hadn't twisted your arm. And it made me think about what else you could potentially be planning to miss out on. And since you seemed so determined to try and get on my nerves, I thought I'd give you the opportunity to try again, at twelve hundred feet. "

Leah didn't get it. "What do you mean?" she asked cautiously.

"How soon can you be ready?" He said, completely ignoring her question. Leah was startled. Was he asking her to go out right that minute?

"Um…" She looked around the room for Embry in a panic, only to find that he was already rummaging through her closet, pulling out clothing. He turned and held up a hand, showing first three fingers and then a closed fist. "Half an hour?"

"Sounds good. I'll pick you up in front of the loft, then."

"Oh—okay." Leah tried in vain to think of something clever to say before Rideau hung up, but it was a bust; he said goodbye and the line went dead before she could come up with anything. She dropped her cell phone onto the bed, staring at it dumbly.

"See?" Embry piped up, coming towards her with an arm-load of clothing. "No need to worry. He's a man of his word. Now get out of those track pants, for the love of god." He shoved the clothes at her. "Put these on."

Leah stared at him incredulously. "Since when are you my stylist?"

"Since Nessie's not here and you're extremely likely to do something _stupid_ like pair black with brown," he replied. "I'm serious… off with the sweats. I'm going to go find you some of Nessie's makeup."

"I'm not wearing makeup," Leah said, making a split-second decision. Embry looked at her, aghast.

"Why not?"

Leah sighed heavily. "Because I don't feel like it. Because it makes my skin feel funny, and because I wouldn't wear makeup if I was going out with any other friend."

"Okay, but Leah… this isn't any other friend, this is your _imprint_. Don't you think he's… kind of like a special occasion?"

Leah sat down on the bed, still holding the clothes he'd given her. "I get what you're trying to say, and I know I was all set on the makeover thing for yesterday... but I've been thinking about it all day, and even though it was nice to feel like I looked good, I just didn't feel like myself." She gave Embry a meaningful look. "I didn't mind getting some new clothes… my old ones were falling apart. But all of this primping just seems… disingenuous. I want him to like _me_, not my eyeliner. And I want him to know who I really am, not some weird fancy girl who wears blush and accessorizes."

Embry looked at her for an extended moment before his face broke out into a smile. "Okay," he said, easing himself down onto the bed beside her. Leah squirmed a bit as he threw an arm over her shoulders, but he didn't let her escape, and finally she just sank into his embrace. "If that's how you want it. But can I just say something, for the record?"

"Yeah?"

He gave her a small, genuine smile. "You've always looked nice, even without makeup, and in your old, ratty jeans. You're one of the prettiest girls I know… and definitely the most beautiful of all the wolves."

Leah felt an unexpected lump rising in her throat. She wanted to cry, suddenly. Instead, she shrugged beneath the weight of Embry's arm and said, "Thanks for the love-in… can I get dressed now please? I've been ordered to remove my pants, and I'm not going to do it with you in the room." Embry nodded knowingly.

"Sure thing, Lee," he said as he got to his feet. She fought the urge to scowl; she hated that look, the one that clearly said he saw through her attempt at humour and knew that she was touched by his heartfelt compliments. Before he left the room, he checked his watch. "You've got twenty minutes… move fast."

"I'll only need ten," she replied as the door clicked shut. And it was true; it took her less than five minutes to change into the black jeans and sapphire blue sweater Embry had chosen out for her, and just a few more to run her fingers through her hair and smooth on some plain lip balm. When she looked in the mirror and saw the old, familiar Leah in slightly better clothes, she found she didn't miss yesterday's glamorous stranger one bit.

Embry was waiting for her when she came down the stairs, holding her charcoal gray peacoat expectantly. It was the one item of clothing that hadn't needed replacing, since it was a classic style and she only ever had to wear it for show. To her surprise, he held the coat up as though to help her into it.

"I can put on my own jacket, weirdo," she said, eyebrows raised. Embry shrugged.

"I'm just trying to prep you, in case this guy of yours decides to treat you like a lady. It won't do to have you calling _him_ a weirdo, after all."

Leah stuck out her tongue and turned around, letting him help her. "Maybe he'd _like_ it if I called him a weirdo," she retorted. Embry chuckled as he slid the coat over her shoulders.

"Something tells me he'll have to get used to it, either way." She stepped away, buttoning her coat, and turned to face him.

"This is good, right?" She asked, suddenly feeling really shaky. "It's good that he wants to see me again?"

Embry gave her a leveling stare. "Are you serious?" When all she could do in response was shrug, he shook his head. "Of course it's good! He barely managed to stay away an entire day before showing up at your doorstep. I don't know what you did to him yesterday, but he must've been pretty impressed."

"I didn't do anything!"

"Well," said Embry with a grin, "Maybe you didn't _have_ to." He gave her a pat on the shoulder. "Go on… you don't want to be late."

Leah thought to herself that the elevator ride down to the lobby seemed about eight times longer than usual that particular day. All around her, the mirrored walls reflected a worried girl, fidgeting nervously with the buttons of her jacket. She frowned at her reflection, dropped her hands to her sides and straightened up. _You're being ridiculous_, she told herself. _Get a grip, Leah._

The elevator doors opened, and she spotted him right away, standing outside the building with his hands in his pockets, leaning against the waist-high brick wall that surrounded the property. He looked just like he had the night they first met, when they had taken a walk to the Chinese restaurant and then gone for coffee, with his hands in his pockets and the light of the sunset shining red through the dark strands of his hair. She felt like somebody had punched her in the chest, it was so hard to breathe.

"Hey," He said as she came through the doors. In spite of the fact that her insides seemed to be doing backflips, Leah felt a smile growing on her face.

"Hi," She said, coming to a stop in front of where he stood. There was an awkward moment where he took his hands out of his pockets and she thought he might try to hug her, but then he shoved them back in again and shrugged a bit.

"So… how's it going?"

"No complaints." She tried to look anywhere other than his eyes, but it was useless… she couldn't avoid stealing a glance. When she did, she got stuck there, and couldn't look away for a very long moment. She was dimly aware that he was smiling as they stared at each other; that was probably a good sign. Finally, she managed to get a hold of herself and she looked away first. "So, what's the big plan?" She asked, trying to look and sound casual. Rideau just grinned.

"You'll see. Come on… we're going for a walk." He turned towards the wall and picked something up; when he turned back to her, Leah realized he had two paper cups. "I thought I'd try to make up for that horrible hot chocolate they had at the rink yesterday. This is from the bakery next to my building… best in town."

Leah took one cup, surprised. "Thanks." He nodded towards the sidewalk and started walked. She followed him. "So, I take it from your wanting to travel on foot that you're not willing to take a risk on my driving again." Rideau laughed.

"I was more thinking of the fact that it's a really nice evening… but now that you mention it…"

"Yeah, yeah. Shut up." She gave him a tiny smile, to show she was kidding.

"Don't get me wrong, I think your road rage is charming. But it's also just a little bit terrifying."

"I'm going to pretend that's the first time anybody's every used the word 'terrifying' to describe me."

"I'm going to pretend I believe you."

Leah snickered into her hot chocolate cup. "That's very decent of you."

He pointed at her shoes. "How're your feet today? Blisters?"

She shook her head. "Nope. Totally fine. Guess I'm tougher than you thought."

He looked pleasantly surprised. "Guess so. I have to admit, I kind of figured you'd be paying for it… you really went all out there, for a first timer."

Leah looked at him sideways. "Admit it: your ego's just the tiniest bit bruised from not being able to show me up."

He laughed loudly at that. "I'll admit that freely. I don't get to show off very often, and you completely robbed me of the opportunity."

"Poor you."

They bantered back and forth as they walked through the darkening streets. Leah let Rideau navigate the twists and turns of their route, still not sure where he was taking them. She didn't really care, truth be told... to her, it would have been the perfect evening if they ended up going nowhere at all.

"Okay," he said finally, coming to a stop. "So I know this is your first time visiting New York, and you probably want to see as much of the city as you can. And I also know how impossible it can be to see everything you want to in one trip. And I was somewhere today that reminded me of how there's really only one way to see the entire city all at once, and that's to come here." He gestured to the building in front of them, and then said, "You might want to look up."

Leah did, and the sight almost took her breath away. Of course, she recognized the beautiful art deco spire immediately, but it was so _huge_ up close that it was hard to think of it as the same building she'd seen in countless movies and television shows. "Wow," was all she could managed. Beside her, Rideau was also looking straight up, and she peered over at him. He wore a look of appreciation that she could definitely identify with at that moment. She'd never seen such an impressive piece of architecture that close up.

"If we're lucky, there won't be much of a line. Evenings are usually less busy than during the day, and it's a Friday, so…" He nodded towards the building. "You want to go up?"

"Yeah!" Leah found, with some surprise, that she really _did_ want to go up. Mere minutes ago, if she'd been asked, she probably would have written the Empire State Building off as a silly tourist thing, but seeing it right in front of her, she found it almost impossible to resist the draw of being that far up in the sky. It didn't hurt that Rideau had wrapped his fingers gently around her arm and was guiding her towards the building.

The line wasn't actually that bad at all, just a few people waiting in front of the ticket window. They all fit into the first elevator that came. Rideau informed her that sometimes the line was so long it took hours just to get to the lobby. Leah was surprised to learn that Rideau had purchased their passes ahead of time, so they didn't have to wait for tickets, just for the elevator. Several lift rides later, they arrived at the 86th floor observation deck, although not without having to go through what Rideau referred to as the "Hall of Gift Shops". Leah felt a moment of apprehension as she looked through the doors and saw nothing but sky, but it was just a moment, and then they were outside.

The sky was now completely dark, and as they approached the railing Leah could see the whole city laid out beneath them, shining in clusters of bright, multi-colored lights. Even the traffic looked stunning. Leah grabbed the railing and leaned against it, looking down at the city. The wind was strong and cold, and she closed her eyes as it whipped over her skin.

A voice, very close to her ear, said quietly, "I think you're supposed to actually _look _at it." Leah felt a smile growing across her face, but she didn't open her eyes. She didn't dare.

"In a minute," she all-but-whispered. She could feel that Rideau was standing right behind her. They weren't touching, but there was a slight warmth where his body was shielding hers from the wind. She knew that if she just leaned backwards, their bodies would be resting against each other, and his reaction would surely tell her if he felt the same way for her as she did for him. Either way, she would know.

But she couldn't do it. She couldn't bear to find out. Instead, she leaned further into the railing and opened her eyes. The sight of the beautiful city, all lit up, greeted her. Rideau stepped around her and gripped the railing next to her.

"It's pretty amazing, eh?"

"Yeah," Leah said, unable to meet his eye. She felt like such a coward. "It really is."

He shrugged. "I thought you should see it. You know… before you go home."

His words hit her like a lead weight. Of course he would assume she'd be leaving soon. After all, they had originally been coming to visit for a week or two. And while she felt absolutely frantic at the idea of leaving him behind, he was mentioning as casually as possible, as though it didn't make a difference to him at all. All of a sudden, she felt like her heart was sitting on the ground, a thousand feet below her. He didn't care if she went away. He didn't care about her.

"It's too bad you have to leave," he continued, completely oblivious to her inner drama, "I could get used to showing you around." And just like that, her heart was back in her chest, thudding so loudly that she was sure the whole city could hear it. She made the mistake of looking over at him when he said that, and their eyes locked yet again. Rideau had a small, sort of sheepish smile on his face. "You know what I mean?"

Leah nodded slowly. "I think I do." Her hand was still gripping the railing, so tightly that her knuckles were beginning to turn white. Rideau moved over until the sides of their hands were touching, and then lifted his little finger and placed it over top of hers. She looked down at their hands, resting together on the cool brass of the railing.

"Rideau…" She began hesitantly.

"I know…. I just met you, and you're going away. I just… I like you." He slowly drew his hand away. "I don't know what I was thinking."

Leah was frozen in place. She didn't know what to think or how to react. He liked her. He _liked_ her. He'd touched her hand, and then he'd told her he liked her. She could barely feel the impossibly strong wind that whipped against her face anymore. She couldn't feel anything except the feelings that were directed towards him. He'd said he liked her.

And she'd said… nothing.

The look in his eyes as he turned away was one Leah had seen before. She'd seen it every day for years, in her own eyes, whenever she looked in the mirror. Wounded pride. The look of somebody who badly needed to slink away and lick their wounds. He'd taken her lack of response as a rejection. She couldn't believe it… how, in any universe, could he believe that she might reject him? Clearly it could only ever be the other way around. But there he was, looking well and fully rejected.

Desperately, she reached out and took the hand he'd pulled away. She held it in both of hers and turned to face him. He looked over at her, eyebrows raised, and they both began to smile at the same time.

"I might stay a little bit longer," She said, looking down at their hands and then back up to his eyes. Rideau's small smile grew into a grin.

"Yeah?"

"I've been thinking about it." They stood there, grinning and staring at each other, hands clasped together, for what felt like an hour before Rideau cleared his throat and spoke up.

"Um… okay, this is a really un-manly thing to have to say, but one of us has to… can we go back inside? It's _really_ cold up here." Leah laughed loudly.

"You're wimping out? Really?"

"I'm really wimping out." He shrugged. "Admit it… you're freezing too." He released his grip on her hand, only to offer her the crook of his arm.

"Am not." Leah denied, happily threading her own arm through his and let him lead her towards the entrance to the building.

oooOOOooo

Leah knew she'd have to answer some questions when she got back to the loft. Rideau had dropped her off at the front door with a long embrace and a promise to call the next day, and she'd had to spend the entire elevator ride staring at herself in the mirror walls, trying to arrange her face into some expression other than a goofy grin.

They had spent the previous two hours holed up in a corner booth in a small pub nearby, just talking over pints of stout, getting to know more about each other. Everything she learned about him made her like him more, and she found herself wanting desperately to visit his home up north and meet his brainy siblings and his off-beat environmentalist parents. She told him about her mother, happily remarried to Charlie Swan, and he squeezed her hand gently as she recounted her father's untimely death. She couldn't tell him the one thing she really wanted to… the time wasn't right. But it felt like they had discussed pretty much everything else.

She tried to unlock and open the door silently, but it was no use; Seth and Embry were waiting for her, and they sprang to their feet when she came in.

"How'd it go?" Embry blurted out, starting towards her.

"Yeah, how was your _date_?" Seth wheedled, coming to stand beside her. Embry flanked her on the other side, and she scowled at them, first one then the other.

"Can I take of my coat, please?" She said, already finding it easier to maintain her regular expression of mild irritation.

"No," Seth replied, grinning. "Not before we get some details!"

"Fine, I'll just keep it on." She pushed past them and started towards the stairs. They kept right on her, following at her heels.

"Aw, come on Lee!" Embry whined, "After I gave you that pep talk, don't you think I deserve at least _some _information on how it went?"

"Not really."

Seth was in the process of grabbing her arm to slow her down when a loud voice made all three of them freeze. "GUYS!" They looked up to see Jacob leaning over the railing at the top of the stairs. "Cut it out!" Seth dropped Leah's arm like it was on fire. Jacob looked sternly between Seth and Embry; Leah fought the urge to cackle gleefully at their discomfort. "You two need to take a step back and leave Leah alone. I mean it—quit hassling her."

Seth actually took a physical lunge backwards, while Embry scowled a little and said, "Yeah, all right _dad_." Leah chuckled quietly and started up the stairs towards Jacob as the boy went back to whatever silly game they were playing.

Jacob followed her to her room, stopping in the doorway. After a moment of ignoring him, she turned with her hands on her hips and said, "Are you coming in or not?" Jacob smirked and took a step forward, closing the door behind him.

"I'm not gonna bug you," he said quickly, as though he expected her to blow up at him, "I just wanted to check in, see how you're doing. Embry told me you were kind of nervous."

Leah shrugged defensively. "I don't know about _that_…"

"Leah." Jacob's tone told her that there was no way he would buy her feigned nonchalance. "Please remember who you're talking to. I lived with those same nerves for over a decade. You're not fooling me."

She rolled her eyes and sat down on the bed. Jacob did the same. It was just like when she and Nessie had sat there, talking. They faced each other, legs crossed, and Jacob waited patiently for her to say something.

"So… he likes me," was what she finally came up with. Jacob immediately broke into a huge grin.

"That's really, really great." Leah couldn't help it, she just had to match his grin. Before she realized it, she had told him the whole story. Jacob beamed back at her the whole time.

"He's supposed to call me again tomorrow… Jake, I'm just so…" She tossed her hands up, lost for words.

"Overwhelmed?" Leah nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean." He patted her on the knee. "You'll get used to it… well, sort of."

"What does _that_ mean?" Leah asked, slightly terrified of the answer.

Jacob looked thoughtful. "It does get easier, after you've figured things out together. But then it becomes a whole different kind of overwhelming. A… good kind of overwhelming."

Leah looked at him doubtfully. "Not that I don't believe you, Jake, but right now I constantly feel like my chest is going to explode, and I fail to see how that could ever be a good thing."

"Just trust me on this one." He smiled knowingly at her, and she shrugged.

"Oh fine. You're the expert." Her voice was heavy with sarcasm. Jacob chose to ignore it.

"So, now that things seem to be working out, do you think you might be able to consider cutting Nessie a break? She's sort of been flipping out over you giving her the silent treatment, and honestly it's not making _my _life any easier."

Leah chuckled. "She's upset, is she?" Jacob just glared in response. "Fine… I guess I've made my point."

Jacob sighed heavily. "Thank you. I know it takes an enormous effort on your part to be nice, but I really do appreciate it." Leah narrowed her eyes.

"Watch it." Jacob laughed and stood up.

"And on that note, I'm going to get out of the line of fire." Leah fought to keep a straight face.

"You'd better." As Jacob headed for the door, Leah tilted her head slightly, and then said in a much louder voice, "And Embry and Seth, you have exactly ten seconds from the time that door opens to run for your lives. I know you're listening, and I _will_ make you pay for it."

There was a loud and sudden scattering noise in the hallway, followed by heavy footsteps on the stairs and, finally, the slamming of the front door. Jacob turned to Leah, eyebrows raised.

"You're getting scary-good at that."

She shrugged. "One of these days they'll catch onto the fact that I have absolutely no intention of chasing them down, but until then… let them run."

Jacob shook his head fondly. "Enjoy the peace and quiet, for as long as it lasts," he said as he stepped out into the hallway. Leah nodded in response.

"You too." Jacob closed the door behind himself, and Leah relaxed against the headboard of her bed. It had been a long, exhausting day. She looked at the clock… it was barely ten, but she was ready to collapse. Slowly, she got up and changed into her pajamas, then headed for the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth.

There was just one thing left to do before she could go to bed. Leah found the linen closet without much trouble, and was relieved to see that there were a couple plain white pillowcases (with Alice Cullen as a decorator, nothing was ever certain) . She grabbed one and took it back to her room, tucking the corners into her doorframe before closing herself in for the night. Then she climbed into bed and, smiling to herself, fell immediately into a deep, restful sleep.

**In the Next Chapter:**

_He was watching her closely, a wary look in his eyes. "Nessie, what did you do?"_


	38. White Flag

**Author's Note: Oh hi.**

**So, we're back. I don't really know what to say to you all, after years (Years!) of absence. I can only tell you that I experienced a life-alerting occurrence around the time that I stopped posting, and for a while writing was the last thing from my mind. However, I always had an ending in mind for this story, and with the final movie being released in a few months I thought I should see if I could get the ball rolling again and actually get to that point. If anyone is still receiving chapter alerts on this story, I hope you'll pick it up again. If not, I hope that anyone new who finds this will enjoy it. I'm going to try my best to finish. The second half of the story is about 75% finished, so I should be able to make it happen. I hope so, anyway.**

**If anyone, anyone at all, is still with this from before, thank you so much for coming back. I'm so sorry for making you wait, and I will do my level best to never do it again.**

**Thanks all,**

**Critiquelle**

**Chapter 38: White Flag**

Renesmee was surprised to find the loft so quiet when she got in the door. The main room was completely deserted, and the lights were off on the lower floor. Curious, Renesmee started up the stairs. There was light shining from beneath the door to her bedroom, which was closed. The door to Jacob's room was open, but there was nobody in there, as far as she could tell. She moved a bit further down the hallway to scope out the guest room. Leah's door was closed and the lights were off, and Renesmee immediately noticed that there was a white pillowcase hanging from the doorframe. It took her a moment to figure out what was going on, and when she did she covered her mouth to avoid laughing out loud. Leah had put up a white flag.

Quietly, she crept back towards her room and opened the door, stepping inside. Jacob was sitting on the bed, and he looked up when he heard her come in. The sight of him gave her heart a funny little twist: he was seated on the mattress in his track pants and an undershirt, surrounded by what appeared to be textbooks, one of which he had open in his lap.

She grinned at him as she crossed the room. "You're studying?" She asked, amused. "Your classes don't even start until the new year!"

Jacob shrugged. "I know, but I registered for my courses today, and then I looked up the syllabi and figured I should probably pick up some of the books early, before they sell out in January."

"Mmm… I love it when you use words like 'Syllabi'," Renesmee joked, sitting down beside him on the bed and giving him a seductive look. Jacob laughed.

"You would." He closed the book in his lap and began to gather up the others into a neat stack.

"Don't stop on my account!" Renesmee said. "If you still want to read…" She was actually kind of anxious to put off the conversation they were about to have.

"Naw, I'm done for tonight." He put the stack of text books on the bedside table and then leaned and kissed her. "Hi. How were your adventures in Claraland?"

Renesmee laughed, hoping she didn't sound as nervous as she felt. "Pretty good. Um… enlightening."

"Yeah?" Jacob turned to face her fully. "That sounds like it has a story attached."

She nodded slowly. "You could say that. So… you might want to get comfortable. This could take a while."

Jacob ran a hand through his hair and gave her a wary look. "Why do I get the feeling I'm about to get caught up in an exhausting and drawn out conversation?"

Renesmee sighed. "Because you know me too well?" Jacob smiled at that and nudged her shoulder with his own.

"Okay," he said in an exaggerated voice. "Bring it on."

She took a deep breath. "I… did something tonight, Jake, something you're probably not going to be too happy about. And I don't know how exactly to tell you, except to just explain it the best I can and hope that you understand."

He was watching her closely, a searching look in his eyes. "Nessie, what did you do?" She knew from his voice that he was taking her completely seriously.

"I… I told Clara about my ability." Jacob got very still, very suddenly. Renesmee was silent, not knowing how to continue. After a few moments of tense silence, she decided to attempt to explain further. "I can ex—"

"You did _WHAT_?" Jacob roared, grabbing her shoulders. This time, it was Renesmee who was paralyzed, in shock at his sudden outburst. She sat there, immobilized, as he shouted. "Are you _INSANE_?" She could feel his hands trembling where they gripped her arms. Vibrating.

"Jacob, calm down."

He didn't. "Do you have any idea what you've _done?_" He cried. "Maybe you've forgotten what happened to the _last_ human who got pulled into your family's world…"

That did it. She tore herself out of his grasp and leapt up from the mattress, putting a safe distance between them. "Yeah," she retorted angrily, "As I recall, she got married to the love of her life and gave birth to _me_! What a horrible thing to have happened… I can see why you'd be upset!"

Jacob at least had the decency to look a bit taken aback at that. "That isn't what I meant," he said lamely. She could see that her anger was already beginning to take the bite out of his.

"It's exactly what you meant," she replied almost instantly, and then, with less malice, "but I know you didn't mean it in that way." Jacob took a deep breath; Renesmee did too. Their eyes met, and Jacob gave her a loaded look.

"How much did you tell her, Renesmee?"

She was surprised that her own name could sound so hostile. Jacob only ever called her by her full name when he was being very serious. "Just what I can do. Nothing about my family, or yours." She paused. "Jake, she has an ability too."

"What?" Now it was Jacob's turn to look shocked. Renesmee nodded slowly.

"She told me… she wanted to come clean, she felt guilty for keeping secrets from me." She gave him a pointed look. "She was so worried I'd hate her for it, or think she was a freak, and she was so honest with me… I just couldn't listen to her bare her soul like that and not tell her that I know how she feels. So I told her. Well, actually, I showed her. And it was _fine_, Jacob… she was fine with it! She understands."

Jacob squeezed his eyes shut, as if thinking about the situation was giving him a massive headache. "Your father is going to fillet me," he said slowly. "I'm supposed to be making sure you stay safe, and you're putting yourself _directly_ in the line of danger."

"Clara isn't dangerous," Renesmee protested vehemently, "She just has a power. And she's worried and a bit freaked out. She needs advice, and somebody who understands. I know you can understand how that feels."

Jacob opened his eyes and looked at her dubiously. "You seriously think it's a coincidence that there just happens to be a super-powered human in your classes at school, who just happens to have befriended you?" He shook his head. "Wake up, Renesmee."

She found it hard not to be offended by that. "Is it so unbelievable that someone might want to be my friend for normal, innocent reasons?"

"Of course not. But let's think about this for a minute… how many normal, innocent humans have you known who just happen to have supernatural abilities?"

"My mom did," Renesmee said triumphantly. "She didn't know it at the time… but she always had it. It just didn't get strong enough for her to really use it fully until she was changed. So who knows… maybe more people have abilities than you think, and they just don't realize it. Maybe everyone has an ability."

"Do you have any idea how crazy that sounds?"

"I've heard crazier. I don't really care if it _does_ sound nuts… what matters is that I _know_ there's nothing dangerous about Clara. I know it, Jake. And it makes me _so angry_ that you don't trust my judgment enough to believe it." They stood there, glaring at each other, until finally Jacob's shoulders fell and he looked away.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," he said in a small voice.

"And grabbed me," Renesmee added.

"And grabbed you. I didn't mean to lose control like that… I just got freaked out."

She just shook her head. "'Freaked out' is no excuse for flying off the handle," she pointed out. "You're just like my father… you don't trust me to handle anything on my own, and you get mad at me when I try."

"That's not fair," Jacob said, getting to his feet. "This isn't some stupid, trivial thing. I know you think I'm being patronizing, but I really don't think you understand. The last time a human got mixed up with your family, it started a war. People died, Renesmee. Your family was almost _wiped out_."

"I know what happened, Jacob," Renesmee said quietly. "And I know it was my fault, mine and my mother's. I don't need you to point that out to me."

"That's not what I—"

"This isn't the same. Clara doesn't know anything about vampires, or werewolves, or any of that. She just knows that she has an ability, and that there's someone like her. Maybe you don't know how it feels to think that there's nobody else like you in the entire world, and that you're completely alone… but I do. And I won't let somebody else feel that way." She squared her jaw and added a mental _so there_.

Jacob came towards her slowly, cautiously. She stayed very still, regarding him sternly as he approached, until finally he came to a stop in front of her. He brought his hands up and took her once more by the shoulders, this time very, very gently. "You've never been alone. How can you possibly think that, when there are so many people who love you?" He actually looked hurt by the idea. Renesmee relaxed into his touch. The last thing she wanted was to fight with Jacob right now.

"I know how much my family loves me… how much _you_ love me. That's not the point. I'm still always going to be alone in a way. I'm not a vampire, I'm not a human, and I'm definitely not a wolf… I'm the only one there is of me."

"There are other half-human, half-vampires out there…"

Renesmee shook her head. "Hybrids who drink the blood of humans, who produce venom, who kill by _choice_. I'm not one of them, either." She felt tears prickling behind her eyes. "I don't know _what_ I am, Jacob."

Jacob drew her closer. "I know what you are," he said, his hands moving from her shoulders so that his arms encircled her completely.

"What am I?" She muttered into his chest. Jacob paused.

"I don't have a word for it," he said a bit awkwardly. Renesmee surprised herself with a hoarse burst of laughter; there was an answering rumble deep in Jacob's chest. "But I know it just the same."

"That's really reassuring, Jake," she said sarcastically. But they both knew she really meant it. Jacob sighed heavily into her hair.

"Nessie, what are we going to do now? This is a very big deal."

"I know." She pulled back a bit so that she could look at him. "But nothing is going to happen tonight. Clara's not going to tell anybody, we can trust her. Tomorrow, if you want, I can call her and you two can meet. I promise that once you talk to her you won't have any doubts. She's a bit spoiled and a bit crazy… but she's a good person, Jacob. You'll see."

Jacob still looked doubtful, but at least he didn't look panicked anymore. "Are you going to tell your father?" He asked. It sounded more like a suggestion that a question.

"Yes," She replied, "But not yet. I have to figure out how… and besides, it isn't really my secret to tell. I shouldn't even have told you about Clara… but this isn't something I want to hide, Jacob. The ability to be at least partially honest with one of my friends shouldn't come with the handicap of having to be dishonest with you."

"Plus, you're a pretty terrible liar."

"And there's that." They smiled at each other, and Renesmee knew that Jacob was going to reluctantly let her win this one. Thank god. "I know you're not happy with me… that you think what I've done is stupid. But Clara's my friend, and I want to help her. I had a decision to make… and I think I made the right choice."

Jacob took a moment before saying, "All right, Nessie. I'll trust your judgement."

She felt her eyebrows creeping upwards. "Seriously?" Jacob shrugged.

"What choice do I have?"

"Good point."

"I do want to meet her, though. That's going to have to happen as soon as possible."

She nodded quickly. "Like I said… I'll call her, I'm sure she can get together with us tomorrow." Jacob went back to the bed and sat down, patting the mattress beside him. Renesmee joined him, leaning against his side, her cheek against his shoulder. They sat there silently for a while, Jacob's hand resting on her knee, his thumb brushing back and forth over the stiff denim of her jeans.

"Nessie?" He asked, finally breaking the silence.

"Yeah?"

"What can she do?" Jacob sounded genuinely curious, so she figured it would be no harm to answer.

"I think I'd call it persuasion," She replied carefully. "She can get people to do or say pretty much whatever she wants them to. The way she put it is, she gets whatever she wants."

Jacob looked thoughtful. "I met a vamp like that once… actually, you did too. One of your family's friends… Carlisle always said she had the 'remarkable gift' of influencing the outcome of things so that they turned out the way she wanted. She kept denying it was an actual ability."

Renesmee nodded. "Siobhan. I barely remember her, but I've heard stories about most of my family's acquaintances. I think Grandpa was pretty intrigued by her particular gift… but Clara's isn't the same. Similar… but not the same."

"How do you mean?"

"As far as I understand it, Siobhan's gift was centered around the idea of her visualizing an outcome, or hoping for a particular thing. Clara's ability applies to individuals and specifics. And it's verbal… she has to actually give the instruction for her influence to have an effect. At least, that's how she seems to think it works."

Jacob let out a long breath. "That's a pretty heavy ability."

"She's in control of it," Renesmee added quickly. "I asked her if she'd ever tried to make somebody do something they really didn't want to, and just the idea of it seemed to make her uneasy. She said she's not willing to cross that line. She throws it around a bunch, just to amuse herself, I think. But where it really matters, she seems like she's got pretty good discretion."

"Hm. Well I guess that's reassuring, at least." He patted her knee softly where his hand was still resting. "How did she react to your ability?"

"She asked if she had a brain tumor." Jacob burst out in unexpected laughter. "When I told her she wasn't hallucinating, she made me do it again."

"What did you show her?"

Renesmee felt herself blush. "Well, I showed her some of the things she and I have done together since becoming friends, and I showed her my aunts and uncles and, well… you."

"Me?" Jacob sounded surprised.

"Well, yeah. I wanted her to see… what's important to me."

"Oh." Jacob raised his arm over her shoulders and gave her a little squeeze. "Now I feel _really_ bad about shouting at you."

She shrugged and burrowed further into his side. "It's okay. I knew you'd be upset. I just wish we didn't have to be so… so _mean_ to each other when we fight."

"You're not mean, Ness."

She turned her head and gave him a look. "Are you being serious?"

"I… thought so…" He looked at her cautiously. "Wrong answer?"

She sighed. "Jake, you know how we had that discussion about how you think I am versus how I really am? This is a good example. When we fight, you get loud and angry. I'd describe that as mean. I, on the other hand, get sarcastic and stubborn. I also know exactly how to hit you where it hurts, and I do, frequently. That could also be described, in what I think is a pretty huge understatement, as mean."

"Huh." Jacob was clearly considering it. "Okay, that's fair. You're mean." He looked her in the eye, and they stared each other down for a minute before he finally burst into laughter. "Geez, Nessie, you're so hard on yourself!"

"Jacob! I'm trying to be serious!"

"I know. But seriously? I can take it."

She shook her head. "That's the thing… I don't want you to have to 'take it'. We have to be nicer to each other!"

He chuckled again, this time more softly. "Okay, sweetheart. I promise I'll try."

"Me too." She closed her eyes as he kissed her on the forehead. "No more fighting, okay?"

"Oh, I'm not sure about that." She opened one eye to peer at him warily. "No fighting means no making up," he explained casually. And then he tackled her to the mattress.

Renesmee made a mental note to amend her "No Fighting" rule, just as soon as she could think straight again.

oooOOOooo

Clara came over late on Saturday morning, after an early phone call from Renesmee. She insisted on bringing breakfast, which Renesmee figured would only help her case with Jacob. She showed up on the doorstep promptly at eleven, armed with a bag of flakey croissants and a giant container of fruit salad. Renesmee poured her a coffee from the pot she'd just brewed and they went into the living room to sit down.

"Jacob and the others are out," she began. "He's coming back in a bit, but I wanted to talk to you alone before you guys meet."

Clara gave her a sly grin over the top of her coffee mug. "Is this where you warn me to keep my hands off your man? You don't have to worry… I don't want any mob hits out on my head."

Renesmee rolled her eyes. "I'm not involved with the mafia," she reiterated for what felt like the thousandth time. "No, I just wanted to tell you something privately, without him being around."

"Okay…" Clara said warily, looking at her like she might be crazy, "Go for it."

With a deep breath, Renesmee began. "I told Jacob that I let you know about my ability. He was pretty freaked out… worried we wouldn't be able to trust you. I told him that wasn't true, but he can get… carried away sometimes. He's just always really concerned that something bad will happen if people find out what I… can do. And to stop him from getting overly paranoid I… had to tell him about you." She cringed a bit as the words left her lips. "I'm so sorry… I know it wasn't my secret to tell… but Jacob is somebody who understands people like us, and I promise you he's on your side. Or will be."

Clara looked stunned. "You told your boyfriend about me?"

Renesmee's heart was thumping hard in her chest. This was not going well. "He had to know that we can trust you. Believe me, it won't make any difference to him, what you can do."

Clara was silent for a moment. Whenever Clara got quiet, Renesmee got nervous. It just seemed unnatural. Finally, she looked over at Renesmee, a calculating expression in her eyes. "Just tell me one thing, Ness: does the reason you had to tell Jacob about me have anything to do with the other stuff you so neatly avoided talking about last night? The 'more'?"

Now that she knew how it felt, Renesmee recognized Clara's persuasive influence as it washed over her. Looking into Clara's eyes, she realized that the other girl _meant_ for her to recognize it. "Yes," she answered promptly, and then added, "But you really didn't have to compel me to answer… I would have told you the truth anyway."

Clara nodded. "Okay. One more question, then… Will you ever tell me what the 'more' consists of? Some day?"

Renesmee couldn't answer that as easily. "I hope so," she said honestly.

With a sigh and a wave of her hand, Clara's demeanor returned to her regular standard. "That'll have to do for now, then," she said breezily. "Don't worry about telling the boy… I sort of figured you might anyway."  
Renesmee blinked in surprise. "You did?"

"Sure. You tell him entirely too many details of your life to begin with. How you keep him interested is beyond me, but hey… whatever works for you." She got to her feet. "Do you have a big bowl? I want to put out the fruit…"

Renesmee followed her friend into the kitchen, directing her as the blonde girl flitted around, rifling through her cupboards for plates and serving pieces. She wondered if she could ever learn to be as miraculously unconcerned by the troubling things in her life as Clara seemed to be. The other girl could give lessons in taking things in stride.

They were still in the kitchen when Jacob came through the door. Renesmee turned and gave him a wave, and then went to meet him by the door. Clara followed behind at a distance, a basket of croissants in her hands. Renesmee looked quickly between the two of them.

"Clara, this is Jacob," she said, gesturing. "Jacob… Clara." Clara started forward, standing in front of them.

"Hi," Jacob said.

"Pastry?" Clara responded, holding up the bread basket. Jacob was looking at her like she'd sprouted a third ear. Renesmee elbowed him.

"Uh… thanks," he said, reaching forward and gingerly picking up one of the flakey rolls between his thumb and index finger. The croissant was dwarfed by his mammoth hand, and Renesmee had to fight with herself to avoid laughing. It was by far the most awkward meeting she'd ever witnessed.

"Well, this is awkward," Clara said, mirroring her thoughts exactly. Jacob gave a loud snort of laughter, effectively breaking the ice. "Ness told me everything, about how she told you everything," she explained, crossing the room to place the basket on the coffee table.

"She would," Jacob said, earning himself a hard look from Renesmee. Clara just cracked up.

"I like him, Ness," she said, "He's funny."

Renesmee rolled her eyes. "Yeah… you're both hilarious." She went and sat down at the coffee table. Jacob went and retrieved a cup of coffee from the kitchen and then sat down beside her. Clara sat across from them on the other couch, leaning back against the cushions with her arms crossed.

"So…" Renesmee said, looking between her boyfriend and her best female friend. Jacob promptly shoved the remainder of his croissant into his mouth, effectively allowing him to avoid being the one to talk. Clara wore a tiny smirk as she looked back over at them.

"So, about the elephant in the room," she said casually. "Yes, I can get people to do pretty much anything I tell them to. Yes, I've always been able to, although it's gotten way stronger lately. No, I don't plan on using my powers for evil." She clapped her hands together. "Questions? Comments?"

Jacob was staring at her openly in disbelief. Renesmee smothered a giggle… Clara could be a bit of a shock to the system, and Jacob clearly hadn't anticipated it. He cleared his throat.

"Um, no," he said, "I think you've basically covered the important bases there."

Clara smiled brilliantly. "Good. I'm glad that's out of the way. Not that I wasn't looking forward to a good old fashioned Saturday morning interrogation…"

Renesmee looked sideways at Jacob; with everything that came out of Clara's mouth he appeared to be more amused and less concerned. She smiled to herself. Leave it to Clara to disarm a territorial wolf in less than ten minutes.

"What I can't figure out," Clara continued, popping a melon ball in her mouth and talking around it, "Is how Ness and I came to meet each other. I mean, what are the odds? It's pretty freaky, don't you think?" Her voice was casual, but she finished the sentence with a searching look that moved between both of them.

"It is a pretty strange coincidence," Renesmee said tentatively.

"If it is a coincidence," Clara said, and then she turned her gaze fully onto Jacob. "Is it a coincidence, Jacob? Maybe you can tell me."

Renesmee saw Jacob go rigid beside her. "Clara…" she began warningly, but Jacob cut her off.

"Are you trying to imply something?" He ground out with some effort. Clara laughed suddenly and shook her head.

"Of course not… tell me, what could I possibly be implying?"

"If you think that by being charming you can distract me from the fact that you're trying to play with my mind, think again," Jacob said, leaning forward in his seat. "I'm used to having scarier people than you in there… it's not gonna work." Renesmee drew in a sharp breath, and Jacob turned suddenly to her, realizing his mistake. Clara's eyes narrowed as she looked between them.

" 'Scary'… now _that's_ an interesting word," she said, watching them carefully. "I think you'd better tell me what Jacob meant by that, Ness."

"He means you're not nearly as intimidating as— " Renesmee's hands flew to her mouth as she nearly blurted out an answer without thinking. Jacob rose to his feet; Clara did too. Renesmee focused as hard as she could and then dropped her hands again. "Stop it," she said to Clara. "I've already told you I can't tell you anything else!"

Clara shook her head. "That was before your boyfriend started using words like scary."

Jacob leaned forward, just a bit menacingly. "You're not going to make me less suspicious of you by acting like you're suspicious of us," he all-but-spat.

"Suspicious of _me_?" Clara snorted. "You two are the ones who won't tell _me_ what's going on! There's clearly something you're trying to keep from me, and it's enough that Ness has to cover her mouth to keep from saying it out loud. And _you're_ suspicious of _me._"

"You just tried to use your power on both of us, without permission!" Jacob pointed out. And fairly, too, Renesmee thought… Clara was being reckless, probably figuring neither one of them would have a huge problem with it now that they knew. She was wrong, though, because there was no way Jacob was going to take that lying down, already on-edge as he was.

"Well, I happen to think just maybe it's justified, if both of you are being dishonest!" Clara said. They were both leaning over the coffee table now, and the short piece of furniture was the only thing stopping them from being right in each others' faces.

"Let me guess: _you're_ the one who decides when it's justified to use your _mind-control_ on another person? Sounds really well-regulated to me."

"Back off," Clara said warningly. Jacob immediately took a step backwards, sitting down with a _thud_ as the back of his legs hit the couch. "That time was justified because you're like eight feet of muscle, shouting directly into the face of five and a half feet of little girl. Seeing as we're talking boundaries, let's discuss the appropriateness of you being physically threatening towards me."

"Don't worry… I'm sure if you felt you were in danger you could just _talk me out of it_."

Renesmee had had enough. Finally over her shock at the deterioration of their meeting, she stood up and spoke. "Guys… stop it! Both of you… this isn't helping anything!"

Clara shot her a dirty look. "I hate to tell you this, Ness, but your boyfriend's a jerk." She shook her head. "I am so out of here."

"Clara, wait…" Renesmee moved to grab her friend's arm to stop her from leaving, but Clara turned on her with a furious look.

"Don't touch me," she ordered in a low, firm voice. Renesmee froze in place; she literally couldn't continue towards the other girl. Clara's eyes softened slightly before she turned on her heel. "Sorry, Ness," she said over her shoulder as she headed for the door, "This is too much, even for me."

Renesmee looked helplessly between the doorway and Jacob, who was glowering over at her from his spot on the couch, arms crossed. Renesmee made a split-second decision and started for the door. She was going after Clara. Jacob would forgive her… her friend might not.

"Where are you going?" he asked as she paused to slide her boots on.

"I'm going to go after her… make her understand why we can't tell her everything just yet." Jacob rose to his feet.

"Why would you want to do that?" He looked at her like she was nuts. "I agree with you about one thing: she's not working on anybody's behalf but her own. But did you see her throwing her ability around like it was a party trick?" He shook his head. "She's obviously crazy. And you're not spending time with her anymore."

Renesmee wished she was surprised to hear Jacob ordering her around, but the truth was it didn't shock her in the slightest. "Just stop it, Jacob," She said wearily. "You can be as mad as you want… I'm still going after her."

"Renesmee, don't walk out that door," Jacob said icily. She sighed.

"You know what? When you're done being difficult, let me know. I'll be busy making peace on behalf of both of us. Until then… have a _great_ morning. Enjoy the fruit salad."

She didn't wait for a reply, tearing through the door and slamming it shut behind her. She took the stairs; waiting for the elevator was a waste of time. She found Clara in front of the building, angrily punching numbers into her phone and glowering at the curb, where her towncar obviously _wasn't_ waiting for her.

"Clara."

"Oh hi." Clara gave her a lofty, unimpressed look and then turned back to her phone.

"Your car left?" Renesmee asked, for lack of anything better to say. Clara kept fiddling with her phone.

"Yes. Evidently you can't count on anybody these days." Renesmee felt Clara's not-so-subtle dig like a punch in the gut.

"Look, I'm _sorry_," she said, moving to stand in front of the other girl in hopes she'd look up at her, "I know how it must seem to you, with Jacob acting the way he acts, but there's more to it, and I just—"

"I'm tired of hearing about this infamous "more"," Clara said, dropping her hands to her sides and looking Renesmee square in the eyes. "I'm not an idiot, Ness, and I've spent my whole life around people who keep a lot of secrets. There are only two reasons for you acting the way you do about whatever it is you're not supposed to tell me: either you're keeping it from me to protect me, or you're keeping it from me to protect yourselves. If it's the former, then let me make things easy for you: it's not your job to protect me. I can take care of myself… have been for a long time, in fact. And if it's the latter, well… if you can't trust me to be on your side, then maybe we're not the sort of friends I thought we were. Which is really too bad, but if that's how it is then that's how it is."

Renesmee was brought up short by the brusque, unattached tone Clara's voice had taken on. It sounded like she didn't care either way whether they remained friends or not. She was putting on the personality so many people assumed was hers by nature, and Renesmee wasn't fooled at all.

"Clara, come on." She stared her down, crossing her arms. "You know that's not the case… not at all." Clara simply raised an eyebrow.

"Which is it, Ness? Who are you protecting: me, or you?"

"Both of us."

In the long pause that followed her quiet statement, Clara's car finally pulled up, coming to a smooth and almost silent stop behind Renesmee's back. They stared at each other for another moment before Clara rolled her eyes and gestured to the door that her driver was now hurrying to open.

"Well? Are you going to get in, or not?" Then she breezed past her and gracefully slid across the leather upholstery to the far corner or the back seat. Renesmee stared for a moment, caught off guard, and then followed her friend into the car, trying not to flinch as the chauffer closed the door and sealed her into what was bound to be a very uncomfortable commute.

_ oooOOOooo  
_

_In the next chapter:_

_She leaned forward, staring him in the face. "You may belong to her, Jake, but she doesn't belong to you. And maybe you think you can live with her as the only person in your world, but she'll never be that way. You can't make her that way. And if you try… you'll lose her." Leah backed off slightly and shrugged. "You just will."_

_**Thanks (seriously) for reading. Please review... I will always respond!**  
_


	39. Alpha and Beta

**Author's Note:** Thought I owed you a quick update, considering the length of time you had to wait for he last one. I know it's not the solution to the cliffhanger that you wanted, but that's coming in the next chapter. For now, I hope you enjoy some time with Leah, who's still my favorite, as she lays down some old-school wisdom for her stubborn Alpha.

Next chapter is a doozy, friends. I'm looking forward to posting it and seeing your reactions. Thanks, as always, for reading!

Crit.

**Chapter 39: Alpha and Beta**

Jacob stood in front of the closed front door for several minutes, shaking with rage, before he was able to move. When he finally did, it was simply to pace a few steps back towards the living room and back again. He couldn't believe what had just happened. Renesmee had defied him. Completely. He had told her not to leave, and she had left without so much as batting an eyelash. His warnings, his _feelings_… nothing had mattered to her except for her need to make _friends_ again with that freaky little telepath.

"_Fuck_," he said, as loudly as he could.

"Well," came a voice from the second floor. Jacob whirled around to see Leah leaning over the balcony, a sarcastic smirk on her face. "I was going to wish you a good morning, but I see now how futile the sentiment would be." She started for the stairs, keeping her eyes on him as she went. Her tone was joking, but Jacob could see the wariness in her face; she knew what it would take to talk him down from something drastic, and she was clearly ready for it if push came to shove.

And it might. Jacob tried his best to unclench his fists, but was unsuccessful. "Don't start with me today, Leah," he warned. "You have no idea."

"I wasn't planning on it," she replied as though it mattered less to her than anything else in the world. "I was just going to steal some of your breakfast leftovers and get out of the line of fire. Mm, fruit salad!" Jacob growled in the back of his throat, which caused Leah to turn and look at him in surprise. "Or I won't. Geez, Jake… what the hell is going on with you?"

So he told her. All of it, from Renesmee's dreams to Clara's ability to the fights they'd been having and the fact that she'd walked out on him. Leah, to her credit, sat and listened closely, barely reacting, until he was completely finished.

"Well," she said when he had fallen silent, "You sure are being a baby about this, aren't you?"

Jacob was flabbergasted. "I… _what_?"

Leah shrugged. "Well you are. You decided right away that you weren't going to trust this friend of Nessie's, and that was that. And in spite of the fact that she fought with you and eventually even begged you to try to get along and be civil, you just jumped right into an interrogation, which you followed up with a series of orders. And now you're standing here all wounded because she didn't listen?" She blew her short bangs out of her face with a quick, exasperated breath. "Gimme a break."

Jacob's jaw hung open. When she put it like _that_, it almost made him sound like he was in the wrong. "But she… I mean, it…" He stopped, figuring it wouldn't do him much good to put forward a poorly-constructed argument. It was just as well, because Leah clearly wasn't through.

"This is a pattern with you, Jacob, and I'm not too scared of you to point that out. You're treating Clara the exact same way you treated Rideau: with suspicion and hostility."

"Yeah, and I was _right_ about Rideau, wasn't I?"

Leah's eyes narrowed. "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that. Because really, that's not the point. The point is, you didn't have any proof that you were right in that case, and you don't in this case either. It's not about you being justified… not really. It's about you not wanting to share Nessie. And I get that, Jacob… really I do. But you've got to _cut it out_." She leaned forward, staring him in the face. "You may belong to her, Jake, but she doesn't belong to you. And maybe you think you can live with her as the only person in your world, but she'll never be that way. You can't make her that way. And if you try… you'll lose her." Leah backed off slightly and shrugged. "You just will."

Nothing Jacob could say was any match for that speech, and he knew it. He let out a long, heavy sigh and shook his head. "Why do you have to make sense?" He grumbled. Leah just shrugged, straight-faced.

"Why is the sky blue? Why is water wet? Why is the sun—"

"Don't push it."

Leah chuckled and took a seat on the couch. "Sorry. I know you're not in the mood. I just really get a kick out of not being the biggest basketcase in the room."

Jacob almost quirked a smile at that. "I'm enough of a disaster for both of us." He sat down beside her and dropped his head into his hands. "Why do I keep doing this, Lee?"

Leah patted him unsympathetically on the back. "I'd say "because you love her so much", but that's a pretty shitty excuse for treating somebody like your property." When Jacob made a small, strangled noise of displeasure, she chuckled. "Don't be so down on yourself… I'm only half serious."

Jacob looked over at her with narrowed eyes. "But you're right… I'm a shithead."

Leah shook her head. "Not a shithead. Just a bit of a misogynist. And the sooner you get your head around the fact that you're not the big strong man who needs to protect the helpless little girl, the better. Renesmee is perfectly capable of making decisions and protecting herself— and what's more, she _wants_ to. Probably the only reason she hasn't walked out on you before over this is because she's so used to it. I mean… you've met her father."

"Why does everybody keep comparing me to him?" Jacob asked, almost whining. Leah raised one eyebrow.

"I'm not sure how closely you want to examine that, actually. Your brain could very easily end up in some pretty disturbing places."

"Whatever." Jacob massaged the space between his eyebrows with his thumb and forefinger. "So… what do I do?"

"I thought it was your job to order me around, oh fearless leader." Her just glared at her. "Okay, I get it. I'll knock it off." She still had a tiny remainder of that smirk on her face. This was one of those mornings where Jacob couldn't decide if his second-in-command was his best friend or his worst enemy. She straightened up, and he settled in for a long lecture.

"First," Leah said, "You absolutely _do not_ tell Cullen about this new girl. Not until Renesmee is ready. What he doesn't know won't kill him—or us, she's just a little human girl. You have to do things according to Nessie's plans from now on, at least for a little while. She needs to feel your confidence in her. Second, and this is really important… you need to make up with this girl and become her best friend. Not only because it's important to Nessie, but because you actually _do_ need to keep an eye on her. We can shut her down easily if she gets out of line, but only if we see it coming. I don't think it's likely she'll do anything we need to worry about, from what you've told me… she just sounds to me like somebody having a bit too much fun with an ability she doesn't understand. But you never know. So watch her." Leah paused. "And the last part, which is also the hardest… you need to apologize to Nessie, and really mean it, and then you need to actually change how you act. Don't just say you're sorry to make her feel better… actually _be_ sorry. Respect that she's your equal, and stop treating her like a child… because she isn't anymore. She hasn't been for a long time, and I know you're aware of that. You just have to stop picking and choosing when you treat her like a child under your care and when you treat her like your grown-up, capable girlfriend. She's either going to be one or the other, but se can't continue being both. It's unfair, and it's frustrating, and it's _creepy, _Jake. And you don't want to be creepy, do you?"

"No," Jacob sighed reluctantly, raking his hands though his hair. He cast a sideways look at his Beta. "Do you always have to be right?"

Leah shrugged, a sly smile beginning to grow on her lips. "Can't help it… it's nature, that's all." Jacob rolled his eyes in response.

"Well in that case, do you have to be so _smug_ about it?"

"I told you… nature." Leah ducked quickly as Jacob chucked a cherry from the fruit salad in her direction. "Hey," she said, snatching it out of the air as it flew by, "Don't waste food."

Jacob leaned forward and, with a regretful look, grabbed a croissant. "Stupid, rich person food," he muttered, tearing into the pastry. Leah chuckled and went in for more fruit.

"Don't complain… free is cheap."

"Not when it comes with the price tag of having to make friends," he muttered around a mouthful of bread.

"Okay, that's enough." Leah stood up with her hands on her hips. "You're starting to sound like me, Jacob, and I'm starting to sound like you. If things don't get back to their natural state soon, I think the world might explode. So let's just…" she seemed to think for a moment, and then she nodded to herself. "Yep. Get up, go throw on some sweats and your sneakers."

Jacob looked at her skeptically. "Are you seriously inviting me on your run with you?" he smirked. "I thought that was your 'Private Time'." He put air quotes around the last two words. Leah raised an eyebrow.

"Just get your shoes on, smartass," she said. "I'll meet you downstairs."

oooOOOooo

Jacob walked out the front doors of the building and was greeted by the sight of Leah stretching her legs against the low stone wall surrounding the courtyard. He took a moment to watch what she was doing before sauntering over.

"You might want to stretch too," she suggested, taking a moment to look over her shoulder at him. Jacob waved her off.

"I think I can handle a little jog without hurting myself," he said. Leah shrugged.

"Well, I'm sure you _can, _but there's really no point in hurting your muscles unnecessarily, even if they _do_ repair themselves quickly."

Jacob rolled his eyes. "If this is supposed to make me feel better…"

Leah straightened up. "Fine," she said with an air of superiority, "You don't have to." She pulled her shirt down to straighten it. "There's a High School a couple blocks away… I found it the other day, it's got a pretty decent track, and it'll be empty today 'cause it's Saturday. You ready to go?"

"I've been ready to go this whole time," he said, aware he sounded cranky and annoying. Leah just turned on her heel and took off at a run. Jacob shook his head and then started after her. They reached the school soon enough, and Leah barely pause to open the door to the fenced in track before hitting the gravel.

"So," Jacob said when he'd pulled up astride her, "This is it? You just… run?"

Leah didn't turn her head to look at him. "Yep."

Jacob scrunched up his nose and looked down at his feet hitting the cold pavement. "What's the point?"

"Fitness," Leah said sharply. Jacob didn't buy it.

"We're naturally fit… I don't think it's even possible for us to be _un_fit."

"Fun?"

Jacob snorted. "It's pretty monotonous, if you ask me."

"Okay." Leah took a deep breath that Jacob figured was unrelated to the jogging. "I was hoping you'd just be quiet and figure it out on your own, but I can see that plan isn't going to work." Jacob cracked a smile in spite of himself and let her continue. "The monotony is the point, Jacob. You've got nothing but the same scenery going by, again and again. It's predicable, it's… relaxing."

Jacob raised his eyebrows in surprise. "I wasn't aware you knew that word."

"Shut up." Leah continued running without looking at him. "Why don't you stop questioning me and just try to focus. It's just like running when you're a wolf, except you're alone in your head. You might actually like it."

Jacob huffed slightly. "Sure, sure." He was about to come out with some sort of witty retort when Leah suddenly tore off, surging ahead of him at a much quicker pace than they'd been running. Jacob furrowed his brow and took off after her. He managed to get close, almost pulling up alongside her, but he couldn't overtake her, and after a few minutes he could feel himself slipping. If they had been in their wolf forms there would have been no contest, but in his more fragile human form, Jacob was surprised to find that he couldn't compete with Leah. She was completely outstripping him, and he realized that, while she seemed to be making no effort at all, he was starting to feel a slight ache in his thighs and a tightness in his lungs. With a regretful sigh, he slowed down and let Leah pull away from him. When she'd gotten a good distance away, he noticed her slowing as well, and he realized that she'd been _trying _to distance herself from him. They were now moving around the edge of the gravel track at about the same pace; an easy, relaxed run.

Jacob turned his focus inward, thinking of the way he felt when he ran as a wolf. He wasn't as automatically aware of his body's movements, and so he had to zero in on the individual parts of himself as they propelled him forward. He legs felt hard and strong moving through the cold air, and he noticed suddenly that he was breathing almost in time with the pounding of his feet. Could he make his heart beat in the same rhythm? No… it was racing too quickly. He closed his eyes for a moment; he could hear his own pulse thrumming in his ears. That was how quiet it was inside his head: no Seth, no Leah, no Embry. Just his own thoughts, and the motion of his body.

_Damn it. She was right_.

When they finally stopped, nearly an hour later, Leah met him with a small, wry smile.

"You made your point," Jacob said, barely meeting her eye. "But can we save the gloating for another day? I've got enough admitting I'm wrong ahead of myself today."

Leah chuckled softly. "No prob. It'll hit you up tomorrow."

"Gee, thanks." They jogged home side by side, silently, and Jacob used the quiet time to think over his apology.

_**In the next chapter:**_

"_Look, I don't know what would ever make you think that I would just sit here and let you tell me I'm in danger without at least trying to stand up for myself. I know you say you're trying to protect me, Ness… but in whose universe is what you're doing fair or right at all?"_

_**Thanks for reading! Please take the time to review. I respond to comments and do my best to answer questions, and your feedback definitely affects the story.**_


End file.
